Title: Working Girls
Author: Rose; rosenfairy@yahoo.com
Summary: Helen and Lindsay get arrested for something that will bring about conflict in B&L's newly wed happiness.
Authors note: Hi, ok so this is actually the second fic I ever started, then someone else wrote one with a kinda similar idea and I canned this one. Now like two years later I finally decided to finish it. Thanks so much to Sahiti who remembered this one was in the archives and convinced me to finish it. Thanks also to Lisa, Ally, Jewel, Livvy, Bron, Melly and Leanne, who all read t at some stage and gave me so much help, nagging and encouragement I never would of even started it again without them, let alone finished it.
Disclaimer: If you think I'm DEK you are a stubbie short of a six pack.
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Helen and Lindsay sat staring dejectedly at the peeling, gratified wall in front of them, both wondering how the hell they were going to get themselves out of this one.
"You wanted to make a call" someone called from nearby and they both turned to find a young police officer standing outside the barred door to their cell, holding a cordless phone in their direction.
"Bout bloody time" Helen muttered under her breath, while Lindsay walked over and took the phone, thanking him as she did.
"One call" he answered.
"We know, we're lawyers. That means we know a little something about the law." Helen replied patronizingly.
"Yeah right" he replied he then turned and left allowing them some privacy to make their call. Lindsay dialed the number and fidgeted impatiently as she waited for it to answer. When it did she was relieved to hear Bobby's voice rather than Lucy's, this was one thing she did not need or want to explain to Lucy.
"Hi Honey"
"Hey Baby" Bobby replied, breaking into a small smile at the sound of her voice, it was such a relief to hear from her. Considering he had been awake for over 36 hours, a hectic day in court had been followed by almost every criminal he had ever represented (ok not quite but it felt like it) getting arrested and needing counsel. He was wiped and had dreaded the phone being yet another client, instead it was her, "I miss you. You guys having fun without me?"
"Not really"
"Why what's happened?" Bobby asked instantly becoming worried when he heard the upset in her voice.
"Umm, well, um, its kinda", Lindsay stuttered struggling to come up with the right words to explain the situation they were in, and then eventually deciding to say it. "Helen got us arrested" she stated.
"I did not" squealed Helen.
"Helen got you what!" Bobby yelled into the phone.
"Arrested" Lindsay answered, "Um can you come and get us out, please."
"Lindsay, what did you get arrested for?" Bobby asked, worried that knowing Helen it could be anything.
"Oh Sweetie, um they are yelling at me to finish the call, so um I better hurry." She stammered quickly trying to take his mind off the question; this was one thing she felt she should tell him in person, so she quickly screamed back at the guard who was supposedly telling her hang up, gave Bobby the limited directions she could remember from her ride here in the police car. Just as she was saying goodbye, he interrupted her and asked again.
"Lindsay, what were you arrested for, tell me. It's a four hour flight so I've got a little time on my hands, maybe I can work out a way to get you out of the charges on the way there."
"Fine" she replied, realizing that did have a certain amount of logic to it, " Prostitution" she answered quickly.
"WHAT!!!!!!!!!" Bobby screamed, absolutely shocked at the revelation.
"OK, look their taking the phone, gotta go, talk to you about it when you get here. Love you." Lindsay said quickly as Bobby continued to scream into the phone. She then hung it up and walked to the bars calling the young guard to come and get it, before the irate Bobby could attempt to call her back.
"He wasn't happy?" Helen asked, looking at Lindsay with a small grin on her face.
"How can you laugh Helen? We are in Jail, for prostitution. We could get disbarred. Did you think of that, Helen? Did you? No actually what the hell were you thinking? You walked up to an uniformed Police officer and offered him your services, What the hell were you thinking? Were you thinking?"
"Lindsay, we're not going to get disbarred. We didn't do anything, I was just joking around and these Hick officers needed to show some muscle by arresting someone. They don't believe we are guilty at all, as if anyone would believe little Miss Prim and Proper Dole would resort to hooking, we'll just wait for Bobby he'll sort it out, we'll go back to Boston and I'll slap them with every charge I can think of."
Lindsay simply continued to glare daggers at her, "Of course they think we're guilty Helen, why the hell else would we be in a cell right now. And it's a little easier for you, you didn't just have to tell your husband that you been arrested for prostitution, he's furious, I'd be surprised if he even wants to help us. He told me if I told him the charges he'd work out a way to get them kicked on the way here, right now all he's really thinking about is exactly how to explain to his father that his new daughter-in-law is a hooker". She lowered her head into her hands and refused to listen to anymore of Helen's jokes and stupid comments about the situation. Instead she focussed on exactly what she was going to tell Bobby when he got there, and how she thought he would react. Well she already knew how he would react; he was going to be livid. It was all really Helen's fault, surely he would believe that, he thought Helen was the anti-Christ. But still he was going to be so mad, and knowing Bobby he would find some way to let this fester and stay around, he wasn't one to let much just go away.
It was the early hours of the morning before Lindsay first caught a glimpse of the visibly irate and less visibly but still very upset Bobby coming into the station. He introduced himself to the young officer in charge and was then escorted towards the cells and what Lindsay knew would be a fiery confrontation. She had decided that simply telling him the truth was probably the best option, especially since this was really all Helen's fault. He reached the cell and turned to face them, his disgust at their predicament obvious. Standing quickly Lindsay turned to face him, her face begging him to just hear her out before he lost his temper.
"Bobby" she greeted him, he simply glared at her, Lindsay could see that when he looked at Helen his face was filled with anger and disgust, but when he turned to look at her behind those outer feelings she could see he was hurt as well. He didn't yet know the truth behind how they had gotten here and he was confused and upset about why the women he loved, the one woman he had agreed to spend the rest of hid life with, would be accused of such a crime. Turning away from her and ignoring her greeting he focussed his eyes on Helen, without looking back in Lindsay's direction he entered the cell and sat on the bed, pulling a notebook and pen out of his briefcase as he did. Then he looked up at Helen, who was standing uncomfortably in the corner,
"So, what you brought you here?" he asked sarcastically, his voice dripping acid and his eyes boring into the their minds, as if trying to find the answers himself.
"A large cop, bad breath, poor personal hygiene" Helen replied with a grin.
"What happened?" he asked, his voice professional and devoid of emotion, while his eyes took in the lack of clothing on both women. Helen's shirt was split down the front and revealed her all to the world, while Lindsay was dressed similarly her button down the front shirt was half undone, whether it was due to the buttons being ripped off or what he didn't know. The slits in her skirt had been ripped on one side resulting in her showing a rather large amount of leg. Personally he had to hope she had been in a fight, preferably with this anti-Christ she called friend and that the ripping had occurred in this manner. The other option was that they were pre-ripped, that she had actually gone out like this, which was not something he wanted to believe.
"We were at a bar near the hotel we were staying at and……" Lindsay began before Bobby cut her off and spoke again to Helen.
"Helen, what happened" Lindsay was shocked by his blatant rudeness, but quickly realized he would not listen to her at all, so she turned dejectedly away from him and tried to control the tears that were threatening to spill at any moment. On the other side of the cell Helen watched her concerned as she told her story.
"We were just having a few drinks after dinner, and admittedly I had a few too many. I was drunk and Lindsay was trying to keep an eye on me, but the bar was crowded and I wanted to dance. Anyway I think I got a little out of control there cause the next thing I know Lindsay was pulling me out of the bar and suggesting we go back to the hotel. Well it may have been that point when I got a little out of control, just a little…it was really nothing for anyone to worry about. Anyway suddenly I'm outside the bar being dragged back to the hotel by Lindsay when some cop pulls up and tries to talk to us, I guess I wasn't in the mood for it because the next thing you know I'm being taken in for drunk and disorderly. Then apparently in the car I came onto him or something. I don't know, don't really remember much, but anyway the guy took offense to me using some stupid pick-up line. Which admittedly was probably kinda suggestive, and I may have wrapped my arms around him or something, anyway next thing I know I'm being read the charges and prostitution is one of them." Bobby shook his head slightly and continued to stare at her with disdain. "I don't know I think I said, well actually I have no idea what I said, but I am guessing he didn't take it all that well"
"You did what?" Bobby asked rather incredulously,
"I might have said a few things, but nothing to do with him paying me for sex, or me paying him. Nothing Bobby, he took offense to me coming onto him like that and he arrested me."
"So what about her" he said jerking his head in Lindsay's direction, "How'd she get arrested if that's all that happened"
"She tried to stop them arresting me, they must have figured she was with me, like my hooker partner or something, cause the next thing I know he's arresting her too and dragging us to his patrol car. She wasn't even drunk, she was just looking out for me, anyway they brought us here and we've been in this cell ever since."
"Alright" Bobby said packing his things away and standing up, "It should be easy to get you out of here if they say it happened like you said. I met the arresting officer on the way in, he's just a kid hopefully they'll agree he was over zealous. By the way, at the time were you both wearing a whole outfit or were you sharing the same one you are now?' With that he turned and left, refusing to even acknowledge Lindsay as he walked past her and headed back down the hall. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Helen cross the cell and sit beside Lindsay, he saw her fold into Helen's embrace. Seconds later he had to turn away completely and use very inch of his will power to stop from turning back and going to her himself as he heard her quietly begin to cry.
"He's coming back" Helen whispered to Lindsay as she saw Bobby begin to approach the cell again. Lindsay sat up quickly and turned away from him, not wanting to face him at that moment or let him see how upset she was.
Bobby looked straight ahead as he strode down the aisle towards them, ahead of him he saw Helen whisper something to Lindsay who sat up quickly pulling away from Helen and facing the back wall. She obviously didn't think he had heard her crying and she didn't want him to see her upset. He fought back the urge to go and comfort her and apologize for being so hostile, after all the young police officer had just corroborated Helen's story. His boss had agreed that the young officer had been over hasty in making an arrest on both grounds. The two women had neither been drunk and disorderly, or involved in prostitution therefore they had no legal grounds to hold them, so Bobby was coming to tell them they could leave. He arrived at the cell and turned towards them his face frozen in an anger glare.
"Your free to go, the charges have been dropped", He said icily. "I'll drive you back to your hotel" then he turned and strode back down the aisle and out the door towards his car.
She wasn't wearing it, he had been looking this entire time, knowing he would see her ring, knowing he would see that one sign that this was all a bad joke that she was his and only his. But she wasn't wearing it, it wasn't there, and he'd looked through the belongings the police had taken, it wasn't there either. 'Where the hell was it, and why was it not on her finger' he thought as he stomped, in a rather childlike manner to the door and slammed it behind him.
Behind him the guard stepped forward and opened the door to the cell, allowing Helen and Lindsay to stand and walk gingerly out. They walked up to the counter, Helen staring determinably ahead and glaring at the young Officer who had arrested her, her gaze making him drop his eyes and looked away embarrassed, much the same way Lindsay was. They were handed a small package each containing the possessions that had been confiscated from them the night before. With that Helen stormed out the door, turning to wait for Lindsay who stopped and smiled slightly at the officer responsible for their imprisonment, making a quiet apology as she did. Helen stared at her in disbelief and anger before calling exasperatedly,
"Lindsay!" Lindsay smiled once more and then turned and followed Helen out of the station and towards Bobby's waiting car.
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After what could only be described as the worst fifteen minutes of her life Bobby finally pulled up at their hotel, ok well maybe not the worst considering she had almost died a few months back, but still it came close. Several times on the journey there Lindsay had attempted to make conversation, or at least explain the situation a little more and determine exactly how mad Bobby was……..Like should she bother racing home and hope to beat him there before he could throw her belongings out the nearest window, because that was the impression his behavior was sending out. Stepping out of the car, which Bobby had parked outside their hotel Lindsay turned towards the driver's door to thank Bobby for helping them but was almost knocked over by the car suddenly accelerating and pulling back into the traffic before disappearing quickly around a corner. Ordinarily she would have been irate at his nerve for almost sending her flying, however try as she might to muster some anger towards his childish behavior she couldn't. Instead it only stood to drive even more anguish into her mind as she began to realize exactly how upset he was about the situation. Turning back towards the hotel and Helen Lindsay could feel her face begin to crumble as she once again began to quietly weep for what it was she believed lost. Bobby would never trust her again. He could only imagine what must be going through his mind, despite the fact that they had been legally cleared and were innocent in the eyes of the law, the eyes of Bobby Donnell were much more probing. Much harder to convince and worse still they were accompanied by a mind that often ran wild and could find fault in even the most innocent situation.
Meanwhile Bobby's mind was doing exactly what Lindsay had feared it would. As he drove back towards the airport his mind began to wander through all the possible scenario's, all the worst case scenario's of what exactly his wife and her anti-Christ of a friend had gotten up to. While it had been so easy to argue the naiveté of the cop back at the station. To argue that he had been overzealous, to eager to make an arrest and had read everything wrong, it wasn't so easy now. By now his mind had begun to factor in all that Helen had said, everything that occurred in both her opinion and in the eyes of that young cop and doubt was beginning to fester in his mind. He didn't actually believe that Lindsay would do such a thing, that she actually sell herself, no he couldn't believe that, it was beyond his scope of thought, but maybe……..Oh god he honestly didn't know, he knew they were innocent but still he was mad. Not because they had dragged him out here, not because some stupid cop had made a mistake…. He didn't know why, he was just so utterly confused right now. He hated that, hated being confused, hated being scared, and that's what he had been on the way out here, absolutely terrified. The idea that his wife, his beautiful wife might actually do that, might betray him like that, when just being able to call her his wife meant the world to him was absolutely terrifying. He hated being scared so much, especially about her, he hated the idea of losing her, of feeling the fear associated with even the idea of losing her… so he was mad. Mad he had had to go through that, mad she had done that to him…and yet so so relieved.
Back at the hotel Helen and Lindsay were busily packing to return home, Helen had suggested they stay longer, especially since the function they had come to attend had not even been held yet, but Lindsay was adamant that they must return home. She had yet to voice the concern, but Helen knew it was because she was terrified her marriage was in real trouble. Despite the stupidity of what had happened to them, and their subsequent release she could tell Bobby was incredibly upset about the whole thing. Unfortunately so could Lindsay, her face was deathly pale, her eyes seemed frozen open almost as if she had seen a ghost, but it was worse than that Lindsay was almost sure she had just seen her marriage die. So they would leave, she would pack right now hop on a plane and go back to the city they had left only a few days before, hopefully in time to save something.
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The plane ride back was unbearable, Helen was not the kinda girl who could just stay still, just be quiet and not make some sort of scene for four hours. But today she would have to, Lindsay was frozen. Her eyes were staring blindly ahead, the focus of them unclear but Helen knew that was simply because it was not something that anyone else could see, her focus was on the images playing themselves out inside her head. She could tell from the occasional wincing, the tortured pained intakes of breath and the way her eyes would slam shut frequently as if trying to hide from the images only to have them continue to play on inside her mind. Even as they landed she kept this up, her eyes never finding focus or showing any knowledge of their location, she was lost to the world of the living, existing only in a land of possibilities hidden inside the pessimistic environment of her mind. Condemned to a world of watching the worst scenario's she could imagine, her worst nightmares played out over and over, never allowing her a moment of reflection or peace just plain and repeated pain.
This continued as they made their way off their plane, her luggage made it round the turn table three times before Helen jumped in a grabbed it, handing it to a stunned Lindsay who acted as if she had no idea what it was. It wasn't till they were finally in a cab and on the way to Helen's apartment that Helen could finally relax and stop worrying about Lindsay walking into a something, or falling down stairs, or getting lost…. My god if this was what it was like to have children she could only hope at some stage in life she had been exposed to some kind of chemical that had made her infertile.
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Bobby was much the same on his trip home, however unlike Linds he had not had anyone to watch over him, he also had a lot more on his mind. The first thought rushing around his head, screaming about its importance and having small hissy fits when not noticed enough was that HIS Lindsay had betrayed him. The second was that she hadn't, it was all a simple mistake, the third that this was all that evil wench Helen's fault, and the fourth was the culmination of them all, a throbbing, aching mass of mixed, confused thought that gave him no advice only numbing confusion. His mind was awash, with all that was and all that could be, the only thing missing from it was the one thing he needed to know most, and that was what was. What was right now, what the hell had happened, was happening. He knew Linds had done nothing, he knew the cop had made a mistake, he knew she wouldn't do that…. So why the hell was he so upset? And where the hell were her rings? He has never taken his off, why would hers be off and why now. What did people not like married hookers?
Why was this one innocent happening bringing up so much turmoil, the one thing in life he had held no doubt of before this moment was the state of his marriage… and now, well now he had no idea. Every nagging thought he had ever had, every insecurity was now with him again. He was also mad, how dare she scare him like this, how dare she make him wonder like this, didn't she realize all she meant to him… he knew she was innocent but he was still so mad for making him wonder, for scaring him. She said it 'Prostitution' and hung up so fast, so fast he hadn't known what to think. Was she hanging up as a way of not letting him yell, did she have to go for some reason, or was she so damn ashamed of herself she couldn't face him. That's the thought that had stuck with him all the way out there, the thought she might of betrayed him and was simply calling him for help now she had. God how she had scared him, he hated being scared, he hated the pain he felt and the fear, he hated the knowledge this brought. She had given him a taste of what it would be like for this to really happen; she had let him know true pain, true anger and true fear, mind-numbing fear. How on earth could she have done that?
Somehow with all this in his head, without even knowing how he made it out of the airport and into a cab.
"Where too?" the 'cabbie' asked (if Bobby had of listened on the way home he would of found out his name was Frank, and his entire life story… but hell Bobby had enough voices in his head he didn't need to add one more).
Where too? That was a good question, where too? Home he guessed, no he couldn't face that; he couldn't face her yet not till he had his thoughts controlled. He knew she would probably go to Helen's tonight anyway, but he also couldn't face the apartment. Couldn't face the pictures of her, her clothes next to his in the cupboards, her fragrance on the pillows… he needed to be away from the happiness his home usually stood for… in a place where he could sleep and think. Where he could get it all together, so that when he faced her he would know what to say and how to explain exactly what this had meant to him and why he had reacted the way he did. So he could explain he never ever wanted to be without her, and just what those few hours thinking he would have to be had done to him.
"Where to Buddy?" the guy repeated, pulling Bobby from his thoughts and rudely bringing him back to earth. Thinking quickly he realized only one place had ever allowed him peace and space for thinking, his haven, his office. Giving the man the address he sat back and continued on the dark journey through his mind.
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It had been a mistake to come home, to walk in that door and see….. Well nothing. He wasn't here, nor did it appear he had even some home that night, she had at first held hope that he was still en route but as the night had worn on she knew he wasn't. He wouldn't be coming home tonight, hell she had known it even before she got here, he was hiding, not just from her but from everything. He tended to do this, to run and hide in the places where his memories and thoughts were not free to roam, not free to ponder all he had, or had had and were not free to extrapolate. If he was here, now, in the house they shared not only would he have to share it with her, but also he would have to share it with 'them'. It would be exactly like it was now for her, every little thing about the house held a memory, a thought, a moment that dredged up yet another and another memory, that ended up bringing their relationship, their life into full color and sound before the eyes.
Bobby wouldn't need that, wouldn't want that, his thoughts, his emotions, his dreams would have to be worked through in a neutral place, a place where his mind was programmed to avoid interference and focus on one objective. He wouldn't need to look at the couch and have the image of the two of them lounging in each others arms, of kisses shared and moments exchanged, he wouldn't need to see the walls even, the pretty blue paint on them and remember the weekend they had decided to try decorating. She had upended a load of paint on his head, accidentally of course, and right now as she remembered she could watch his reaction. Watch as he pulled her down from the ladder, as he wrapped himself around her, and drew lazy pictures on her arms, back and cheek with his paint covered hands, the way it had then escalated into a paint war. The result of which was professional painters being called in not only to paint the walls but also to fix the mess they had made. The resulting decision was that they would now use every decorating weekend in life to get away, take a holiday and let the professionals do it right.
See the house was like a memory lane in moments like this, memories of every good moment you now thought gone, of every moment you now thought impossible to ever have again. All played out before you, in living color, live action 3D with graphic sound effects and instant replay. Yes, this was why Bobby hadn't come home, why he couldn't be here…..It was also why she couldn't, she thought as she grabbed her bag and headed back out the door and towards Helen's.
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You know it hadn't been supposed to happen like this, not now, not ever again. Never again had he planned on spending the night in his office, in this barren, emotionless and focussed atmosphere. Him and Linds had made a deal to that effect when she had moved in. She would move in, if he would too. The final ceremony of this deal had resulted in the removal of any blankets, pillows….. Sleeping pills, heavy alcohol's etc from his office, thus ensuring that from now on he would have to return to the house they shared and not simply collapse of exhaustion on the couch.
Therefore at this moment, the first time he had contemplated spending the night here since that very day, while staring at the mess of folders now occupying the once neat blanket section of his cupboard he couldn't help but think how very stupid he had been to buy into the notion that happiness was lasting. God wasn't his life proof of that. So many things in this office had stood as painful reminders, the clock his mother had left him, the frame she had so proudly displayed in her house that now held a degree she had not seen him receive, all painful reminders of how much pain love had caused him. Yet those reminders had been overshadowed, completely annihilated by the beautiful reminder that smiled at him from the frame on his desk, by the memories inspired by the couch in front of him, by the very air of privacy that the room had held for them during so many moments. Memories which were now, not painful, but tainted. He knew she wasn't guilty, or he thought he knew, he was almost, kind of positive in a not sure kinda way. He'd found them innocent, he'd heard and believed the stories, but something nagged him, was it the ring; or absence of ring more precisely, was it the lack of clothing, or the rips that could be found in what minimal clothing there was.
Or hell maybe it was simply the fact that he had now not slept for going on 2 days, or was it 3, no 2…. Or 3, hell it had been so long even he'd forgotten. Maybe that was it; maybe the insecurities now plaguing him were nothing more than insanity created through extreme exhaustion. Or maybe he was finally seeing marriage for what it was… fragile. I mean even if she was innocent, even if she could explain the ring, the clothes, the cell, even if she could he was now plagued with thoughts about what could go wrong.
I mean sure, he had seen family's fall apart, he had seen marriages fail, he had worried, he had been scared… but then he had looked in her eyes, gotten lost in those blue orbs and he had known, he had know that they wouldn't, that their love was beyond that. He had clung to that, held onto it in his moments of weakness and need… and now the thing that scared him most was that his life line was fading, growing weaker, he could see spots of wear and tear in it.
Laying his weary form upon the much-loved couch Bobby chastised himself for his stupidity, he told himself over and over that 'He loved her, she loved him, and this had been an innocent mistake'. But the idea was there now… what if it wasn't always a mistake. With those thoughts battling in his mind Bobby drifted off to sleep, his eyes closed and his mind lulled, but it never stopped, his insecurity wouldn't leave him…. All he could think and dream was 'She loved him, but what if?".
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Somehow, despite his fears it wouldn't, morning arrived and Bobby was woken by the unmistakable sound of Lucy brewing coffee…. Somehow she managed to be amazingly cheerful at this time of morning. Thus she had quickly learned that the only way for the cheerful morning person to keep her head was for her to arrive early and make the coffee for those people who honestly believed the sun didn't rise till at least ten. That just happened to be every other damn person in the office. So now he could hear her bustling away, singing to the coffee machine and he knew she was probably dancing with one of the cups or a chair… He had often walked in on her early morning insanities and had simply put it down the brain's inability to function without copious amounts of stupidity. Whatever it was, it was confusing. First it had instantly made him realize he was not at home (well her stupidity had, and the simple fact that the bit of floor he was lying on felt nothing like his bed, and the couch leg he was hugging did not feel at all like Lindsay, Helen maybe, but Lindsay…..no). So while he had kinda looked forward to those few normal moments of sleepy surprise and confusion upon waking, looking forward to a few short moments when he didn't feel like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, he never got to enjoy them. The simple question of why he was sleeping in the office was quickly answered by his now fully awake mind and he was once again left to ponder all that had been, would be and might one day be. Stupid Lucy, my god she robs him of office privacy, she annoys him daily and now she can't allow him even a moment of delusional early morning comfort… This crime was worth firing her for, you know if they didn't have those annoying unfair dismissal laws, bastards law makers as if they understood real life anyway.
It was at that moment she entered the office, just walked in, no knock, no nothing…. As if you wouldn't first check to see if he was asleep on the floor, hugging a couch leg… Ok maybe you wouldn't, but hey if him and Linds weren't fighting she could have walked in on him asleep on the floor hugging her…. I mean Linds had agreed that the no sleeping at the office rule only meant no sleeping at the office alone.
"Bobby" Lucy exclaimed in surprise, as her foot came to rest on his nose, "what the hell are you doing down there? Does Linds know you're here? Oh my god, you guys fought! Ok so what was it about, I mean it has to be bad if you're here…. If you're here the fight is so bad relationship rules don't count anymore… On my god, she finally realized she's better than you hasn't she… Ooooh that must hurt, I mean really hurt. So is it over, or like is this a 'break' thing? If it's the break thing don't by any means sleep with the coffee girl down the road…or me…. Cause I saw that on friends and it did not work well for anybody." Finally having finished her rant, the point of which no one was quite sure of, Lucy looked down at Bobby expecting him to be irate, maybe even to the point of biting a toe, but no, instead she found him crying… Well not crying but whimpering, like he hurt bad, but didn't have the balls to cry out loud… That is such a guy thing… But anyway, it kinda made her feel bad, and she never felt bad.
"Are you okay?" she whispered, her face showing actual genuine care for once and not the contrived 'I feel for you now, but am totally gonna play this later for points' kind she usually used. Bobby looked up at her, with the eyes full of confusion, hurt, anger and pain… None of which was directed at her, but all of which was very fresh and intense. Seeing this Lucy carefully and quickly made her escape, figuring she was one person he would not be talking to about this, and if he did that meant it was very bad and she kind of didn't want to know if it was.
"Um…I'll just let you be right?" she whispered, and bolted for the door, slamming it behind her and leaning against it… hard. Breathing sighs of relief that a) the stare of pain was gone, and b) she wouldn't have to see that look and worry about it till she was forced to ask, in her oh so Lucy kinda way. At that point she raised her eyes, looked directly across the office to Lindsay's desk and realized very quickly just how wrong she was.
There right in front of her say Lindsay's, her eyes staring morosely at the door as if trying to see through it and yet scared of what she might see if she did. Like Bobby, she was a mess, her hair was neat, her make-up perfect, her eyes bottomless pits into which one could probably be sucked and never return, the lips quivering images of frailty and fear, and her body an ever shaking and poorly composed statue of the women that would normally be. Unlike Bobby her eyes showed no anger, only hurt, fear and confusion… It was if she knew this was bad, as if she knew the horror he was going through, knew his pain, and yet knew not why, or how, or what the hell she could do. She was a stack of cards, placed and held so perfectly one minute and falling the next, falling into oblivion, into nothingness and for a reason not yet known, or understood. Somehow, something had happened and neither party involved in the fight knew the what, where, who, how, or why of it, they simply knew it was wrong, something was wrong. Obviously something had occurred, something had made Bobby fly out last night, something had made Linds come home early, that something had caused something else, something that was neither understood, nor easily passable. Man, she could not wait to find out.
At that moment the door opened again and a bubbling Jimmy entered, followed by a cranky caffeine deprived Bec, a silent Eugene and surprise surprise a pissed off Ellenor. With this her attention was taken off Lindsay and placed on the others, Lindsay had noticeably pepped up at their arrival and was obviously trying very hard to create a strong front. So Lucy of the short attention span quickly forgot her and moved on to find out why exactly Ellenor was pissed this morning and how she exactly she could flaunt it.
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It was hours later, hours of forced work, of hidden glances at his office door, of terrifying thoughts and heart breaking reality's that the moment of truth came. It was like I had been leading up to it all morning, like every moment came down to this one, to the moment when all would be revealed and Bobby's reaction would prove to Linds whether or not they had a future. She sat watching his door and allowing the memory of the morning to roll through her mind as if on live action tape, the feeling of waking alone, of stretching out and hitting the back of a couch instead of the warmth of a chest, of sitting up and being in her old home. In the old apartment, in the one place where her saddest memories were interspersed with her happiest, memories of being alone, of waiting for him to call, to tell her he loved her but knowing he never would. Memories of the first time he had been to see her and made her aware of his love, memories of turning him down but knowing from the look in his eyes he would be back. Then all the memories of them together and here, watching movies on this couch, wrapped in his arms and not giving a damn what the stupid movie was about, those of him and his run ins with Helen, and the walk ins she always swore were accidents. All those memories flooded her mind this morning, all those and the memories of moving, of Helen's tears and Bobby's joy, of her own unbridled joy and yet incredible sadness, and of knowing she was going to be with him always now…. And then being left with the indescribable feeling of pain and uncertainty that one thought inspired. So she had run, dressed as quickly as possible and just run, away from that and to the one place where she could hide from feeling and emotion, the one place she could focus and not think about life beyond the walls of the courthouse… She'd copied him and run to work.
Thus here she had been, sitting, watching, and waiting for any appearance of his. He hadn't made it to the staff meeting, but then she had and couldn't even remember what had happened, Lucy could of run it and made them play hopscotch for all she remembered, she was too busy focussing on the slight movements that could be seen spasmodically behind the blinds of his office. She guessed it had ended, and everyone guided her out so she guessed no one had died during, and she could hazard a guess work was possible discussed, but that was it. And now she was here, still watching, still waiting, still confused and hoping beyond hope this would all get better before it got worse…. And then the phone rang.
"Good Morning, Donnell, Young, Dole and Frutt, How may I help you?" Lucy answered. The stealing a glance at Lindsay, who was watching the door intently and not moving in response to the call, or the now flashing buttons on her phone, continued with, 'I'm sorry Ms Dole is in a meeting right now, could I give her message?"
It was the next line that finally snapped Lindsay out of reverie, that finally made her give a damn about what the hell the bouncy little girl in the corner was saying.
"Ok, so the charges have been completely dismissed against both Ms Dole and Miss Gamble, and you ask her to accept your heartfelt apology….oh ok."
"Lucy!!" Lindsay screamed, "The phone Lucy, give me the phone!" she moved toward her grabbing for it and trying in vain to wrestle it from the teen's grip.
"Sir, I'm afraid Ms Dole gets charged often, sometimes several times a night. Would it be possible for you to tell me the charges you refer to so I can inform her which ones not to worry about?" Lucy asked as her eyes lit up evilly and her smile formed into one very similar to those held by the stereo typical TV bad guy. As this happened Lindsay's eyes dropped with embarrassment, her face grew pale and she moved quickly to retake her old position.
As Lucy hung up the phone and turned toward her captive audience Lindsay knew things were about to get a lot worse. Of course Lindsay had hoped that her sudden lack of interest, albeit actually her only available form of hiding and hoping the moment would pass painlessly, would convince everyone that she had no idea what Lucy's had been told and didn't think it important. Therefore effectively killing their interest in the situation… she was wrong. Apparently they knew her to well and understood that the only reason she would give up was if she already believed the fight lost, as a result they were now looking between Lindsay and Lucy with almost desperate expressions and pleading eyes. This was further heightened as Lucy gave them all wickedly happy grin, shrugged her shoulders and sat down, her eyes returning to the file she has been typing before the call had interrupted her.
This continued for almost an hour, the expectation and wild thoughts in the others heads growing by the minute, creating an electric and surging pulse of excitement within the room; Lucy however just sat there. She answered calls, she typed furiously, she even left the room for the bathroom, all the while generating this air of excitement and an almost palpable sense of power and joy. Lindsay had almost given up on her fear of Lucy revealing the truth; she had almost decided the child human and capable of expressing empathy…. Almost, but then Lucy spoke. She made no huge announcement, no warning she would do it, she was simply typing away, looking intently at the document she was typing and she spoke… without emotion, without fanfare, she just spoke, and as she did the world came crashing down around Lindsay.
"I have no idea what you saw in me when you hired me Rebecca" she started, Ellenor struggled in vain to hide her snicker of agreement. "I mean I know the top I was wearing the day we met was kinda low cut, and that mini was…well mini, but really what the hell did you hire me for, what kind of business is this?" Everyone was stunned to silence, all wondering where the hell she was headed, where this was all going, and then the bombshell was dropped, " I mean really is there a side to this place I don't know of, a secret door somewhere with a bordello hidden behind it. I mean lets face it the coincidences are pretty extreme… Jimmy represents hookers, he gets charged with hiring them… that I can understand…. He's Jimmy, but then I find out Lindsay IS a hooker."
"WHAT!!" the scream from the masses was both sudden and in a surround sound, as all of the people in the room turned to the accused and stared at her with absolute confusion. Lindsay however was so busy studying the unique patterns on her desk she didn't respond to them.
"You see that call was from a lovely cop in the area Lindsay and Helen were spose to be staying this week, he was apologizing for the charges, for the 'prostitution' charges. Said she was lucky that man of hers came and got it all straightened out…. Guess that's why Bobby slept on the floor in his office last night, or hell maybe he was just broke from the flight and couldn't afford Linds's services last night."
Lindsay turned her eyes from the now memorized wood patterns of her desk and looked at Lucy, her eyes filled not with hate, not with anger but with tears and pain. The thought of what Bobby had, was going through was so hard, she had not meant to hurt him, God she hadn't even done anything. Realizing suddenly that she had no idea what was so wrong between the two of them, and that only she could fix it Linds hopped up suddenly and made her way towards his office. She was stopped however by Rebecca's hand on her shoulder, pulling her gently back, wrapping around her shoulder in support, followed by the question she did not want to hear.
"What happened Linds?"
Looking up into Bec's face and seeing not condemnation, not disgust or hate but understanding and the desire to help her, Linds relented and was about to explain the situation when she heard Lucy's voice in the background, its tone mocking and degrading.
"Hey Jimmy, maybe this is why she turned you down, maybe you would have gotten lucky if you'd asked her with a hundred in your hand."
That was too much, that mocking, that display of humor and degradation towards a situation that was still so raw, so painful and so unresolved, it was all too much. With that she fled, took off, running out the office and down the hall, her eyes clouded with tears running so freely she could barely see her way.
Behind her Lucy suddenly realized the depth of the situation, the amount of tension, pain and uncertainty caused by it, and she silently kicked herself for her stupidity, while still laughing slightly at her own jokes though. Spinning around she moved to go back to work and away from the hateful stares of the others, and the constant looks of confusion and worry, but as she turned she ran into something solid, something rigid with anger. Looking up she found herself staring into two endless blue pools, two normally beautiful pools of light, but that were now filled with hate, anger and disgust all aimed at her. Though behind them she could see worry, see the way the eyes would flicker towards the door and back again at her as if deciding which issue to attack first. And then the decision was reached with one more hateful scowl her way and a disgusted shake of his head Bobby was gone, stalking out the door and after his wife. Leaving behind him four very confused people and one scared and stupid teen.
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His Father had often told him that if someone did not want to be found, they would not be found… who would of thought he had actually been right for once. Bobby had been looking for ages, he had checked every place he thought she might run to, the apartment, Helen's apartment, Helen's office, the little hidden coffee shop she would go to when she needed an escape from her busy life, and every place in between that sold hard liquor… But she was nowhere to be found. He was sitting in Helen's office now; it had unfortunately been the last place he could think of that he should check. Helen, seeing he hadn't had anywhere else to be, and not really caring if he did anyway, had subjected him to yet another conversation on just how much of an ass he was. … Cause you know he found those so damn enjoyable.
Thinking back on what she had said though he realized something, Helen had spoken of the way Lindsay would hide, as if she wanted away from it all but was hoping upon hope that the object of her current pain would find and confront her anyway. She listed times Linds had done just such, the time they had fought at college and Linds had run to the little hidden alcove in the library where they had often spent hours just talking the way only best friends can. The time, as a child, she had been forced to listen to the fight that tore her parent's marriage apart; she'd run to the family cottage where they had spent many a happy holiday. It had hit him then; she ran to the one place she could think of where all the pain in her mind, all the fears, all the hurt was replaced and over powered by the beautiful happy memories the place brought forth.
She was at Fenway.
The very place where everything she now feared lost had started so perfectly.
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It was meant to work, it had never failed her before, Never. You just hid, in a place they would know to look, know to come to, know that she would be at because it would make it all stop. But this time it didn't stop, the pain she'd caused Bobby didn't leave, the hurt of what she'd done and what it had caused never lessened. This place should have made her remember only happiness, only beauty and love, but it didn't. As she stared down at the pitch, she never saw the players there, or the fans hanging over the fences and hoping for an autograph as they watched the Red Sox in their last open practice session before the season commenced, she only saw an image of the past. She saw her wedding, she saw the surprise ceremony she'd arranged, the look on his face as he'd turned, she felt the same feeling she had felt as he said the words she'd waited so long to hear 'til death us do part'. Well now they were apart and she guessed it was a death, because the part of her that the memory's evoked by this field should of made so happy was dead, unfeeling. All those feelings had drowned in the knowledge that it all might be dead. He had not found her yet, maybe he wouldn't, maybe he wasn't even trying, why should he?
She knew he knew she was innocent, but god, even the thought of it, the thought that she would be unfaithful like that…. Bobby had always been commitment shy, always had issues with relationships, for this very reason, the fear it instilled, the knowledge you could be letting yourself in for disappointment… She guessed she'd proven him right, and even if she hadn't she know knew why he was so upset, she had reawakened every fear he had ever held about them, she'd made him vulnerable. Or maybe he didn't even believe them, maybe he really did think her a prostitute now, maybe he really did think she would do that to him, that he wasn't her whole world.
The image before her eye's, the image projected from her heart onto the field before her was changed now, it was no longer what she had come here for, it was now everything she feared. He still said those words but instead of his voice being emotion filled, instead of his tone carrying those hoarse chords and displaying openly just how much this meant to him, it was empty, dull, untrusting. Like he knew she would hurt him, like he was doing this because he loved her now but knew without a doubt she would betray his love. It was no longer a moment of beauty, but one of resignation and acceptance that he must do this now, but would pay for it later. Lindsay was so caught up in the horror of this moment she never saw the man beside her, never felt him sit and go through his own memories of that day, never even knew he was there until she felt him take her hand in his.
********************
Bobby could feel it as soon as he entered, the vibrancy, the passion and the excitement this place inspired in so many. He couldn't help but laugh at the way the small children, teens and hell even adults hung over the fencing, watching, waiting and hoping beyond hope that one of the players would notice them. He'd done that, he'd been there, the last practice of the season was the one most exciting moment of his year as a child, he would come and hang over the fence exactly like they did. Wait impatiently for the moment when the players would start acknowledging the crowd, wait for the moment when they would offer one young fan the chance to pitch. His dream, the chance to pitch to a Red Sox player, on this grounds, in front of these people. But he had made his decision not long ago; 'one out of two ain't bad' the one he had gotten wasn't bad, it was perfect. He had achieved the better of the two dreams; he had a beautiful wife…. Wife… His wife… That thought brought back to him every little thought he had had this past 24 hours, every nagging fear and worry for the future, but he suppressed them. They had to deal with this now, with the aftermath of the event and not the terrifying thoughts it had brought up. Sure those would need to be dealt with too, but for now he just needed her to tell him he was right, this was all a big misunderstanding, she was innocent and she was his. That was what was needed now, the rest could wait, it couldn't wait long but it could wait.
Taking his eyes from the action by the nets, he quickly scanned the seats, then rescanned, and rescanned and she wasn't there. The one place he had been sure he would find her, she wasn't there. The idea terrified him; this was the place, the one place. As Helen had explained it to him, it had to a place he would know, this was it, the one place where the only memories they held were pleasant ones… beyond pleasant ones… They were perfect, beautiful moments in time, the sort of moments you freeze in your mind and can capture forever in perfect living detail because they mean so much to you they ingrained in your soul. They both held those memories, both held them so dear, held onto them in moments of uncertainty and that is why she should be here. God, if she wasn't here that meant she considered all lost, it meant she honestly believed his behavior meant that no matter what beautiful memories they relived together, no matter what they shared and what they had it was all gone… They were now over, over and done, gone, kaput. If she wasn't here then he knew she had lost hope, lost faith in them and in that case he had nothing left to fight for.
It was at that moment as his wondering mind caught the motion of a powerfully driven ball and his unfocussed eyes followed it, that he saw her. She was tiny, none of the usual powerful, dominating force surrounded her, none of her usual spark was there she was just a tiny lost being among a sea of empty seats. Moving quickly toward her, he waved his hands slightly thinking that his best option was to gain her attention first, to judge her reaction to him before deciding his plan of action. But she never saw him, her eyes never flinched from the play on field, but he knew she saw nothing of the game. Her eyes followed the course from pitching mound to home plate as if retracing her steps on that day, as if watching herself walk towards him, watching the awe and love so present on his face as he realized what she had done for him. He watched as her eyes reeled slightly in her head, as what had at the start of the memory been a wistful smile changed to a look of horror and hurt. This look then disappeared as her eyes returned to the pitchers mound as she prepared to start the journey over, her expression seeming as if she wished the ending were different, but had lost hope that it would be.
********************
Lindsay's body was shaken from its trance as he took her hand, her mind once lost in another plane of existence and fighting to control itself as it viewed everything she feared, was transported suddenly back to this reality. At first the most overpowering of her emotions was relief, sudden and overwhelming relief at the simple knowledge that she would not have to bear that here, that here she was happy. But then as she glanced down at the hand clasped in hers, as she followed it back up to see the person who she knew that hand belonged to she was reminded that right now she was not happy, she was just plain confused and scared. But hey, he was here, he found her, and he was holding her hand, offering her comfort…. That meant something, right?
Pulling away from him she slowly turned her eyes up to meet his, to view into those silent orbs of color that would tell her right here and now if there was hope to be held. These were the only part of him that was not able to lock away into his vault, the only part of him he couldn't hide. But as she did, just as she was about to meet them, just as she was about to find out exactly what she was facing, he turned away. He turned away! That one simple movement told her more than his eyes could ever have told her, he couldn't even face her. Following his eyes she noticed what it was he was watching, one of the players had walked into the crowd. He held a megaphone and was now telling everyone there that if they wished to pitch for the Red Sox, to come down onto the pitching mound right now and pitch to a player…. They could. That was it, she knew that was it, Bobby's other wish, handed to him on a silver platter and offering him the perfect excuse to run, realizing this and knowing he would go she slowly slipped her hand from his and moved away slightly, allowing him the chance to run. The chance to go without confrontation, without argument, to just leave. For a few seconds she held her breath as he failed to move, she silently prayed he wouldn't, that he would stay and then she would know it was all ok, and then she felt him move, and everything she treasured came crashing down around her.
**********************
She was letting him go, letting him go and pitch for the Red Sox, his other dream… One of the two dreams he'd held since childhood.. She was letting him go. But he could feel it, he could feel her pull away from him, not only in person but in spirit, she was letting him go, letting him go not just to pitch but for good. She thought the situation lost, she thought herself unforgivable and she was offering him the option she thought he wanted- the chance to walk away without saying a word. And so he stood, he stepped forward, looked longingly at the pitch at the little boys, teenagers and men all crowded near the pitch. Beside him she sighed almost inaudibly obviously seeing his look, watching his steps and thinking he was leaving, he knew she feared that, but she was wrong. He took one more step forwards, listening intently to her as she tried to hold back her tears, and then he stopped, he turned, and he kneeled before her once again taking her hand in his. He watched as she looked up in shock, as her eyes filled with hope and she looked at him in absolute wonder. He couldn't help but notice how cute her hopeful little smile was, how her eyes lit up when she looked at him, it was all just further validation that he made the right choice. Squeezing her hand slightly, he held it to his face, kissed it gently before whispering in an emotion stained voice,
"One out of two ain't bad".
********************
That was it, a little line from their past, one that had stumped her when he first said it and now had again. It had been used at one time to get himself out of trouble, and now to show her she was out of trouble. Sure talking would follow, it was quite obvious that it was not the charge, or the fact he had had to bail her out that upset him, rather it had been a catalyst for something else he had been forced to confront. But right now, right now it was ok. Her eyes lit up at his comment, her smile growing ever larger as she realized the true meaning of his words. The tears kept flowing and her body still shook with sobs they were now a completely different type of emotion, one so overpoweringly happy she couldn't stop herself from falling into his arms. Propelling herself forward she hit him full force wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and burying her face in her shoulder as sobs continued to wrack her body. He held her back, so tightly she could barely breathe, but then that was hardly important right now. Pulling her face from his shoulder and yet staying wrapped in his arms she met his eyes once again and voiced her concern about how this would play out in the end.
"We still need to talk, you have to let me in on what you were thinking about."
Waiting for him to nod his reply she once again buried her face in his shoulder and just held him.
"But after that, what do you think about you and me tag teaming Lucy" he deadpanned, and with that one comment the tears were gone as Lindsay burst into laughter.
*********************
It was hours later that they actually left the park, however none of the much needed talking had been done, the time had been spent simply remembering, remembering the day not so long ago that this all began. They had sat side by side, hands held tightly together, just staring, staring at the pitch, at the play below and not seeing it but seeing the memory. They had spoken of their greatest memory of that day, the one moment that meant the most to them. For Bobby it was the moment the lights went up, the moment he saw her and knew that not only was this beautiful women there to become his wife, but that she had sacrificed her dream to give him his. For Lindsay it was that same moment but for a different reason, for the simple fact that as he saw her, as he began to understand she had finally seen in his eyes the validation she had needed. The knowledge that what she had done was right was gained, and the knowledge that he did indeed want this as badly as her reaffirmed. But as the game had ended, as cleaners arrived to make the place spotless they finally returned to reality, to today, and were forced to leave, forced to go off and live in the present, in a present that required talking.
Finally, after a long ride filled with comfortable silence they reached the house, the one place that had been too scary and painful for both the exist in the night before, but was now a haven of refuge as they faced dealing with the aftermath. Of course what needed to be dealt with first was not the talking, but instead the painfully annoying sound of the answering machine letting them know they had messages. Pressing the button to reveal who had called them Lindsay was greeted by the frustrated voice of her dearest, and most annoying, friend.
"Lindsay! Are you really there? Ok I guess not….. Did the ASS find you yet? He came to see me and believe me I dropped hints, so his ass-ness could fix this, but we all know how thick he is, he's probably still driving the streets calling your name out the window. Anyway, I just wanted to check you're ok… call me ok…. Unless he found you and you're making up… then don't call me…. And remember, take the cash before the act, he may do a runner on you if you don't. Ok outie."
Holding back a laugh Lindsay looked timidly up at Bobby to gauge his reaction to Helen's rather tactless message, but instead of the irate Bobby she expected, she found him looking rather contrite.
"Bobby?" she asked quietly as he took her hand and led her to the couch, "Bobby, what's going on? Are you ok?"
Smiling slightly he shook his head in response and replied with,
"Nope, I'm an ass"
"Bobby……." She intoned, "She was being stup…" Her words were stopped however as he placed his fingers over her lips and hushed her gently.
"No, who would of thought after all this time Helen would be right…. I should congratulate her for that, anyway…. She was right, I'm an ass. I should of spoken to you, let you tell your story, you once accused me of not opening my vault and letting you see what I was feeling, letting you help me, I promised I would…. And I failed."
"Bobby" she whispered again, her voice quietly asking him where he was going with this, but at the same time needing to clarify the fact that this had all been caused by her own stupidity…well it had been caused by Helen, but she trusted Helen… therefore her own stupidity. "I let you down, I scared you… You had every right to react the way you did… Believe me you ever get arrested for prostitution and I won't ignore you… I'll kill you, especially if Helen is somehow involved".
Smiling slightly at her comment he continued with his line of thought. "It wasn't the arrest that upset me Linds, sure that call was the shock of my life, and I don't think I remember a time when I was more unsure, or scared of anything than during those four hours on the plane out there." Opening her mouth to whisper her apologies once more Lindsay was once more stopped by his fingers on her lips. "The scary thing was where those hours drove me, I knew, I knew on some unconscious level it was all a mistake, and that was proven to me when I spoke to the officers… But it made me think Linds, it made me think 'what if?'. What would I do if I ever lost you? I mean nothing lasts forever right? What if one day in the future something does happen and everything I feared during those four hours actually eventuates. That thought scared me so much, I couldn't face you, I couldn't talk to you, I couldn't be near you, I just had to think."
"Bobby" Lindsay started, her eyes once again misting over with tears as her hands reached up to hold his face, to softly stroke his cheek as she thought exactly how to reply. "You have nothing to be afraid of Bobby, I didn't go that far, I didn't think futures, I thought here and now, I thought here and now I had lost you, and the thought almost killed me. I had to run to Fenway, to hide in a memory so happy and beautiful I thought it couldn't be ruined, it couldn't be tarnished… But it was. I won't ever allow that to happen again."
"I realized that" he replied, his body edging closer to hers as he finally allowed himself to believe in happily ever after again. "I mean I also have to realize that you can't plan or change the future, that life will dictate how we live it and we follow a path already set, but I know I love you. And I will do anything in my power to have you here, to hold you like this for the rest of my life… you ain't going anywhere." This last bit was spoken decisively, powerfully as though he was telling her she needn't bother trying to disobey him, as if she could anyway.
"Well I have no really pressing plans for eternity, so I guess I could fit you in" she whispered in reply as her arms wound around his neck pulling him down to meet her in a bone crushing embrace. Holding back for only a moment Bobby pulled back slightly, capturing his lips with his and kissing her in such a way that she was left her with no doubt as to how exactly he wished for her to show her acceptance of this life long contract.
Pulling away quickly, she stood, taking his hand in hers and pulling him from his seat, then pulling away she began to walk towards their bedroom, just as she reached it she realized Bobby was not following her. Turning to see what had become of him she found him by the table, his briefcase open and checkbook held in one hand, pen gripped in the other.
"Do you accept Visa, or would a personal cheque be better."
***********************
Author: Rose; rosenfairy@yahoo.com
Summary: Helen and Lindsay get arrested for something that will bring about conflict in B&L's newly wed happiness.
Authors note: Hi, ok so this is actually the second fic I ever started, then someone else wrote one with a kinda similar idea and I canned this one. Now like two years later I finally decided to finish it. Thanks so much to Sahiti who remembered this one was in the archives and convinced me to finish it. Thanks also to Lisa, Ally, Jewel, Livvy, Bron, Melly and Leanne, who all read t at some stage and gave me so much help, nagging and encouragement I never would of even started it again without them, let alone finished it.
Disclaimer: If you think I'm DEK you are a stubbie short of a six pack.
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Helen and Lindsay sat staring dejectedly at the peeling, gratified wall in front of them, both wondering how the hell they were going to get themselves out of this one.
"You wanted to make a call" someone called from nearby and they both turned to find a young police officer standing outside the barred door to their cell, holding a cordless phone in their direction.
"Bout bloody time" Helen muttered under her breath, while Lindsay walked over and took the phone, thanking him as she did.
"One call" he answered.
"We know, we're lawyers. That means we know a little something about the law." Helen replied patronizingly.
"Yeah right" he replied he then turned and left allowing them some privacy to make their call. Lindsay dialed the number and fidgeted impatiently as she waited for it to answer. When it did she was relieved to hear Bobby's voice rather than Lucy's, this was one thing she did not need or want to explain to Lucy.
"Hi Honey"
"Hey Baby" Bobby replied, breaking into a small smile at the sound of her voice, it was such a relief to hear from her. Considering he had been awake for over 36 hours, a hectic day in court had been followed by almost every criminal he had ever represented (ok not quite but it felt like it) getting arrested and needing counsel. He was wiped and had dreaded the phone being yet another client, instead it was her, "I miss you. You guys having fun without me?"
"Not really"
"Why what's happened?" Bobby asked instantly becoming worried when he heard the upset in her voice.
"Umm, well, um, its kinda", Lindsay stuttered struggling to come up with the right words to explain the situation they were in, and then eventually deciding to say it. "Helen got us arrested" she stated.
"I did not" squealed Helen.
"Helen got you what!" Bobby yelled into the phone.
"Arrested" Lindsay answered, "Um can you come and get us out, please."
"Lindsay, what did you get arrested for?" Bobby asked, worried that knowing Helen it could be anything.
"Oh Sweetie, um they are yelling at me to finish the call, so um I better hurry." She stammered quickly trying to take his mind off the question; this was one thing she felt she should tell him in person, so she quickly screamed back at the guard who was supposedly telling her hang up, gave Bobby the limited directions she could remember from her ride here in the police car. Just as she was saying goodbye, he interrupted her and asked again.
"Lindsay, what were you arrested for, tell me. It's a four hour flight so I've got a little time on my hands, maybe I can work out a way to get you out of the charges on the way there."
"Fine" she replied, realizing that did have a certain amount of logic to it, " Prostitution" she answered quickly.
"WHAT!!!!!!!!!" Bobby screamed, absolutely shocked at the revelation.
"OK, look their taking the phone, gotta go, talk to you about it when you get here. Love you." Lindsay said quickly as Bobby continued to scream into the phone. She then hung it up and walked to the bars calling the young guard to come and get it, before the irate Bobby could attempt to call her back.
"He wasn't happy?" Helen asked, looking at Lindsay with a small grin on her face.
"How can you laugh Helen? We are in Jail, for prostitution. We could get disbarred. Did you think of that, Helen? Did you? No actually what the hell were you thinking? You walked up to an uniformed Police officer and offered him your services, What the hell were you thinking? Were you thinking?"
"Lindsay, we're not going to get disbarred. We didn't do anything, I was just joking around and these Hick officers needed to show some muscle by arresting someone. They don't believe we are guilty at all, as if anyone would believe little Miss Prim and Proper Dole would resort to hooking, we'll just wait for Bobby he'll sort it out, we'll go back to Boston and I'll slap them with every charge I can think of."
Lindsay simply continued to glare daggers at her, "Of course they think we're guilty Helen, why the hell else would we be in a cell right now. And it's a little easier for you, you didn't just have to tell your husband that you been arrested for prostitution, he's furious, I'd be surprised if he even wants to help us. He told me if I told him the charges he'd work out a way to get them kicked on the way here, right now all he's really thinking about is exactly how to explain to his father that his new daughter-in-law is a hooker". She lowered her head into her hands and refused to listen to anymore of Helen's jokes and stupid comments about the situation. Instead she focussed on exactly what she was going to tell Bobby when he got there, and how she thought he would react. Well she already knew how he would react; he was going to be livid. It was all really Helen's fault, surely he would believe that, he thought Helen was the anti-Christ. But still he was going to be so mad, and knowing Bobby he would find some way to let this fester and stay around, he wasn't one to let much just go away.
It was the early hours of the morning before Lindsay first caught a glimpse of the visibly irate and less visibly but still very upset Bobby coming into the station. He introduced himself to the young officer in charge and was then escorted towards the cells and what Lindsay knew would be a fiery confrontation. She had decided that simply telling him the truth was probably the best option, especially since this was really all Helen's fault. He reached the cell and turned to face them, his disgust at their predicament obvious. Standing quickly Lindsay turned to face him, her face begging him to just hear her out before he lost his temper.
"Bobby" she greeted him, he simply glared at her, Lindsay could see that when he looked at Helen his face was filled with anger and disgust, but when he turned to look at her behind those outer feelings she could see he was hurt as well. He didn't yet know the truth behind how they had gotten here and he was confused and upset about why the women he loved, the one woman he had agreed to spend the rest of hid life with, would be accused of such a crime. Turning away from her and ignoring her greeting he focussed his eyes on Helen, without looking back in Lindsay's direction he entered the cell and sat on the bed, pulling a notebook and pen out of his briefcase as he did. Then he looked up at Helen, who was standing uncomfortably in the corner,
"So, what you brought you here?" he asked sarcastically, his voice dripping acid and his eyes boring into the their minds, as if trying to find the answers himself.
"A large cop, bad breath, poor personal hygiene" Helen replied with a grin.
"What happened?" he asked, his voice professional and devoid of emotion, while his eyes took in the lack of clothing on both women. Helen's shirt was split down the front and revealed her all to the world, while Lindsay was dressed similarly her button down the front shirt was half undone, whether it was due to the buttons being ripped off or what he didn't know. The slits in her skirt had been ripped on one side resulting in her showing a rather large amount of leg. Personally he had to hope she had been in a fight, preferably with this anti-Christ she called friend and that the ripping had occurred in this manner. The other option was that they were pre-ripped, that she had actually gone out like this, which was not something he wanted to believe.
"We were at a bar near the hotel we were staying at and……" Lindsay began before Bobby cut her off and spoke again to Helen.
"Helen, what happened" Lindsay was shocked by his blatant rudeness, but quickly realized he would not listen to her at all, so she turned dejectedly away from him and tried to control the tears that were threatening to spill at any moment. On the other side of the cell Helen watched her concerned as she told her story.
"We were just having a few drinks after dinner, and admittedly I had a few too many. I was drunk and Lindsay was trying to keep an eye on me, but the bar was crowded and I wanted to dance. Anyway I think I got a little out of control there cause the next thing I know Lindsay was pulling me out of the bar and suggesting we go back to the hotel. Well it may have been that point when I got a little out of control, just a little…it was really nothing for anyone to worry about. Anyway suddenly I'm outside the bar being dragged back to the hotel by Lindsay when some cop pulls up and tries to talk to us, I guess I wasn't in the mood for it because the next thing you know I'm being taken in for drunk and disorderly. Then apparently in the car I came onto him or something. I don't know, don't really remember much, but anyway the guy took offense to me using some stupid pick-up line. Which admittedly was probably kinda suggestive, and I may have wrapped my arms around him or something, anyway next thing I know I'm being read the charges and prostitution is one of them." Bobby shook his head slightly and continued to stare at her with disdain. "I don't know I think I said, well actually I have no idea what I said, but I am guessing he didn't take it all that well"
"You did what?" Bobby asked rather incredulously,
"I might have said a few things, but nothing to do with him paying me for sex, or me paying him. Nothing Bobby, he took offense to me coming onto him like that and he arrested me."
"So what about her" he said jerking his head in Lindsay's direction, "How'd she get arrested if that's all that happened"
"She tried to stop them arresting me, they must have figured she was with me, like my hooker partner or something, cause the next thing I know he's arresting her too and dragging us to his patrol car. She wasn't even drunk, she was just looking out for me, anyway they brought us here and we've been in this cell ever since."
"Alright" Bobby said packing his things away and standing up, "It should be easy to get you out of here if they say it happened like you said. I met the arresting officer on the way in, he's just a kid hopefully they'll agree he was over zealous. By the way, at the time were you both wearing a whole outfit or were you sharing the same one you are now?' With that he turned and left, refusing to even acknowledge Lindsay as he walked past her and headed back down the hall. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Helen cross the cell and sit beside Lindsay, he saw her fold into Helen's embrace. Seconds later he had to turn away completely and use very inch of his will power to stop from turning back and going to her himself as he heard her quietly begin to cry.
"He's coming back" Helen whispered to Lindsay as she saw Bobby begin to approach the cell again. Lindsay sat up quickly and turned away from him, not wanting to face him at that moment or let him see how upset she was.
Bobby looked straight ahead as he strode down the aisle towards them, ahead of him he saw Helen whisper something to Lindsay who sat up quickly pulling away from Helen and facing the back wall. She obviously didn't think he had heard her crying and she didn't want him to see her upset. He fought back the urge to go and comfort her and apologize for being so hostile, after all the young police officer had just corroborated Helen's story. His boss had agreed that the young officer had been over hasty in making an arrest on both grounds. The two women had neither been drunk and disorderly, or involved in prostitution therefore they had no legal grounds to hold them, so Bobby was coming to tell them they could leave. He arrived at the cell and turned towards them his face frozen in an anger glare.
"Your free to go, the charges have been dropped", He said icily. "I'll drive you back to your hotel" then he turned and strode back down the aisle and out the door towards his car.
She wasn't wearing it, he had been looking this entire time, knowing he would see her ring, knowing he would see that one sign that this was all a bad joke that she was his and only his. But she wasn't wearing it, it wasn't there, and he'd looked through the belongings the police had taken, it wasn't there either. 'Where the hell was it, and why was it not on her finger' he thought as he stomped, in a rather childlike manner to the door and slammed it behind him.
Behind him the guard stepped forward and opened the door to the cell, allowing Helen and Lindsay to stand and walk gingerly out. They walked up to the counter, Helen staring determinably ahead and glaring at the young Officer who had arrested her, her gaze making him drop his eyes and looked away embarrassed, much the same way Lindsay was. They were handed a small package each containing the possessions that had been confiscated from them the night before. With that Helen stormed out the door, turning to wait for Lindsay who stopped and smiled slightly at the officer responsible for their imprisonment, making a quiet apology as she did. Helen stared at her in disbelief and anger before calling exasperatedly,
"Lindsay!" Lindsay smiled once more and then turned and followed Helen out of the station and towards Bobby's waiting car.
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After what could only be described as the worst fifteen minutes of her life Bobby finally pulled up at their hotel, ok well maybe not the worst considering she had almost died a few months back, but still it came close. Several times on the journey there Lindsay had attempted to make conversation, or at least explain the situation a little more and determine exactly how mad Bobby was……..Like should she bother racing home and hope to beat him there before he could throw her belongings out the nearest window, because that was the impression his behavior was sending out. Stepping out of the car, which Bobby had parked outside their hotel Lindsay turned towards the driver's door to thank Bobby for helping them but was almost knocked over by the car suddenly accelerating and pulling back into the traffic before disappearing quickly around a corner. Ordinarily she would have been irate at his nerve for almost sending her flying, however try as she might to muster some anger towards his childish behavior she couldn't. Instead it only stood to drive even more anguish into her mind as she began to realize exactly how upset he was about the situation. Turning back towards the hotel and Helen Lindsay could feel her face begin to crumble as she once again began to quietly weep for what it was she believed lost. Bobby would never trust her again. He could only imagine what must be going through his mind, despite the fact that they had been legally cleared and were innocent in the eyes of the law, the eyes of Bobby Donnell were much more probing. Much harder to convince and worse still they were accompanied by a mind that often ran wild and could find fault in even the most innocent situation.
Meanwhile Bobby's mind was doing exactly what Lindsay had feared it would. As he drove back towards the airport his mind began to wander through all the possible scenario's, all the worst case scenario's of what exactly his wife and her anti-Christ of a friend had gotten up to. While it had been so easy to argue the naiveté of the cop back at the station. To argue that he had been overzealous, to eager to make an arrest and had read everything wrong, it wasn't so easy now. By now his mind had begun to factor in all that Helen had said, everything that occurred in both her opinion and in the eyes of that young cop and doubt was beginning to fester in his mind. He didn't actually believe that Lindsay would do such a thing, that she actually sell herself, no he couldn't believe that, it was beyond his scope of thought, but maybe……..Oh god he honestly didn't know, he knew they were innocent but still he was mad. Not because they had dragged him out here, not because some stupid cop had made a mistake…. He didn't know why, he was just so utterly confused right now. He hated that, hated being confused, hated being scared, and that's what he had been on the way out here, absolutely terrified. The idea that his wife, his beautiful wife might actually do that, might betray him like that, when just being able to call her his wife meant the world to him was absolutely terrifying. He hated being scared so much, especially about her, he hated the idea of losing her, of feeling the fear associated with even the idea of losing her… so he was mad. Mad he had had to go through that, mad she had done that to him…and yet so so relieved.
Back at the hotel Helen and Lindsay were busily packing to return home, Helen had suggested they stay longer, especially since the function they had come to attend had not even been held yet, but Lindsay was adamant that they must return home. She had yet to voice the concern, but Helen knew it was because she was terrified her marriage was in real trouble. Despite the stupidity of what had happened to them, and their subsequent release she could tell Bobby was incredibly upset about the whole thing. Unfortunately so could Lindsay, her face was deathly pale, her eyes seemed frozen open almost as if she had seen a ghost, but it was worse than that Lindsay was almost sure she had just seen her marriage die. So they would leave, she would pack right now hop on a plane and go back to the city they had left only a few days before, hopefully in time to save something.
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The plane ride back was unbearable, Helen was not the kinda girl who could just stay still, just be quiet and not make some sort of scene for four hours. But today she would have to, Lindsay was frozen. Her eyes were staring blindly ahead, the focus of them unclear but Helen knew that was simply because it was not something that anyone else could see, her focus was on the images playing themselves out inside her head. She could tell from the occasional wincing, the tortured pained intakes of breath and the way her eyes would slam shut frequently as if trying to hide from the images only to have them continue to play on inside her mind. Even as they landed she kept this up, her eyes never finding focus or showing any knowledge of their location, she was lost to the world of the living, existing only in a land of possibilities hidden inside the pessimistic environment of her mind. Condemned to a world of watching the worst scenario's she could imagine, her worst nightmares played out over and over, never allowing her a moment of reflection or peace just plain and repeated pain.
This continued as they made their way off their plane, her luggage made it round the turn table three times before Helen jumped in a grabbed it, handing it to a stunned Lindsay who acted as if she had no idea what it was. It wasn't till they were finally in a cab and on the way to Helen's apartment that Helen could finally relax and stop worrying about Lindsay walking into a something, or falling down stairs, or getting lost…. My god if this was what it was like to have children she could only hope at some stage in life she had been exposed to some kind of chemical that had made her infertile.
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Bobby was much the same on his trip home, however unlike Linds he had not had anyone to watch over him, he also had a lot more on his mind. The first thought rushing around his head, screaming about its importance and having small hissy fits when not noticed enough was that HIS Lindsay had betrayed him. The second was that she hadn't, it was all a simple mistake, the third that this was all that evil wench Helen's fault, and the fourth was the culmination of them all, a throbbing, aching mass of mixed, confused thought that gave him no advice only numbing confusion. His mind was awash, with all that was and all that could be, the only thing missing from it was the one thing he needed to know most, and that was what was. What was right now, what the hell had happened, was happening. He knew Linds had done nothing, he knew the cop had made a mistake, he knew she wouldn't do that…. So why the hell was he so upset? And where the hell were her rings? He has never taken his off, why would hers be off and why now. What did people not like married hookers?
Why was this one innocent happening bringing up so much turmoil, the one thing in life he had held no doubt of before this moment was the state of his marriage… and now, well now he had no idea. Every nagging thought he had ever had, every insecurity was now with him again. He was also mad, how dare she scare him like this, how dare she make him wonder like this, didn't she realize all she meant to him… he knew she was innocent but he was still so mad for making him wonder, for scaring him. She said it 'Prostitution' and hung up so fast, so fast he hadn't known what to think. Was she hanging up as a way of not letting him yell, did she have to go for some reason, or was she so damn ashamed of herself she couldn't face him. That's the thought that had stuck with him all the way out there, the thought she might of betrayed him and was simply calling him for help now she had. God how she had scared him, he hated being scared, he hated the pain he felt and the fear, he hated the knowledge this brought. She had given him a taste of what it would be like for this to really happen; she had let him know true pain, true anger and true fear, mind-numbing fear. How on earth could she have done that?
Somehow with all this in his head, without even knowing how he made it out of the airport and into a cab.
"Where too?" the 'cabbie' asked (if Bobby had of listened on the way home he would of found out his name was Frank, and his entire life story… but hell Bobby had enough voices in his head he didn't need to add one more).
Where too? That was a good question, where too? Home he guessed, no he couldn't face that; he couldn't face her yet not till he had his thoughts controlled. He knew she would probably go to Helen's tonight anyway, but he also couldn't face the apartment. Couldn't face the pictures of her, her clothes next to his in the cupboards, her fragrance on the pillows… he needed to be away from the happiness his home usually stood for… in a place where he could sleep and think. Where he could get it all together, so that when he faced her he would know what to say and how to explain exactly what this had meant to him and why he had reacted the way he did. So he could explain he never ever wanted to be without her, and just what those few hours thinking he would have to be had done to him.
"Where to Buddy?" the guy repeated, pulling Bobby from his thoughts and rudely bringing him back to earth. Thinking quickly he realized only one place had ever allowed him peace and space for thinking, his haven, his office. Giving the man the address he sat back and continued on the dark journey through his mind.
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It had been a mistake to come home, to walk in that door and see….. Well nothing. He wasn't here, nor did it appear he had even some home that night, she had at first held hope that he was still en route but as the night had worn on she knew he wasn't. He wouldn't be coming home tonight, hell she had known it even before she got here, he was hiding, not just from her but from everything. He tended to do this, to run and hide in the places where his memories and thoughts were not free to roam, not free to ponder all he had, or had had and were not free to extrapolate. If he was here, now, in the house they shared not only would he have to share it with her, but also he would have to share it with 'them'. It would be exactly like it was now for her, every little thing about the house held a memory, a thought, a moment that dredged up yet another and another memory, that ended up bringing their relationship, their life into full color and sound before the eyes.
Bobby wouldn't need that, wouldn't want that, his thoughts, his emotions, his dreams would have to be worked through in a neutral place, a place where his mind was programmed to avoid interference and focus on one objective. He wouldn't need to look at the couch and have the image of the two of them lounging in each others arms, of kisses shared and moments exchanged, he wouldn't need to see the walls even, the pretty blue paint on them and remember the weekend they had decided to try decorating. She had upended a load of paint on his head, accidentally of course, and right now as she remembered she could watch his reaction. Watch as he pulled her down from the ladder, as he wrapped himself around her, and drew lazy pictures on her arms, back and cheek with his paint covered hands, the way it had then escalated into a paint war. The result of which was professional painters being called in not only to paint the walls but also to fix the mess they had made. The resulting decision was that they would now use every decorating weekend in life to get away, take a holiday and let the professionals do it right.
See the house was like a memory lane in moments like this, memories of every good moment you now thought gone, of every moment you now thought impossible to ever have again. All played out before you, in living color, live action 3D with graphic sound effects and instant replay. Yes, this was why Bobby hadn't come home, why he couldn't be here…..It was also why she couldn't, she thought as she grabbed her bag and headed back out the door and towards Helen's.
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You know it hadn't been supposed to happen like this, not now, not ever again. Never again had he planned on spending the night in his office, in this barren, emotionless and focussed atmosphere. Him and Linds had made a deal to that effect when she had moved in. She would move in, if he would too. The final ceremony of this deal had resulted in the removal of any blankets, pillows….. Sleeping pills, heavy alcohol's etc from his office, thus ensuring that from now on he would have to return to the house they shared and not simply collapse of exhaustion on the couch.
Therefore at this moment, the first time he had contemplated spending the night here since that very day, while staring at the mess of folders now occupying the once neat blanket section of his cupboard he couldn't help but think how very stupid he had been to buy into the notion that happiness was lasting. God wasn't his life proof of that. So many things in this office had stood as painful reminders, the clock his mother had left him, the frame she had so proudly displayed in her house that now held a degree she had not seen him receive, all painful reminders of how much pain love had caused him. Yet those reminders had been overshadowed, completely annihilated by the beautiful reminder that smiled at him from the frame on his desk, by the memories inspired by the couch in front of him, by the very air of privacy that the room had held for them during so many moments. Memories which were now, not painful, but tainted. He knew she wasn't guilty, or he thought he knew, he was almost, kind of positive in a not sure kinda way. He'd found them innocent, he'd heard and believed the stories, but something nagged him, was it the ring; or absence of ring more precisely, was it the lack of clothing, or the rips that could be found in what minimal clothing there was.
Or hell maybe it was simply the fact that he had now not slept for going on 2 days, or was it 3, no 2…. Or 3, hell it had been so long even he'd forgotten. Maybe that was it; maybe the insecurities now plaguing him were nothing more than insanity created through extreme exhaustion. Or maybe he was finally seeing marriage for what it was… fragile. I mean even if she was innocent, even if she could explain the ring, the clothes, the cell, even if she could he was now plagued with thoughts about what could go wrong.
I mean sure, he had seen family's fall apart, he had seen marriages fail, he had worried, he had been scared… but then he had looked in her eyes, gotten lost in those blue orbs and he had known, he had know that they wouldn't, that their love was beyond that. He had clung to that, held onto it in his moments of weakness and need… and now the thing that scared him most was that his life line was fading, growing weaker, he could see spots of wear and tear in it.
Laying his weary form upon the much-loved couch Bobby chastised himself for his stupidity, he told himself over and over that 'He loved her, she loved him, and this had been an innocent mistake'. But the idea was there now… what if it wasn't always a mistake. With those thoughts battling in his mind Bobby drifted off to sleep, his eyes closed and his mind lulled, but it never stopped, his insecurity wouldn't leave him…. All he could think and dream was 'She loved him, but what if?".
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Somehow, despite his fears it wouldn't, morning arrived and Bobby was woken by the unmistakable sound of Lucy brewing coffee…. Somehow she managed to be amazingly cheerful at this time of morning. Thus she had quickly learned that the only way for the cheerful morning person to keep her head was for her to arrive early and make the coffee for those people who honestly believed the sun didn't rise till at least ten. That just happened to be every other damn person in the office. So now he could hear her bustling away, singing to the coffee machine and he knew she was probably dancing with one of the cups or a chair… He had often walked in on her early morning insanities and had simply put it down the brain's inability to function without copious amounts of stupidity. Whatever it was, it was confusing. First it had instantly made him realize he was not at home (well her stupidity had, and the simple fact that the bit of floor he was lying on felt nothing like his bed, and the couch leg he was hugging did not feel at all like Lindsay, Helen maybe, but Lindsay…..no). So while he had kinda looked forward to those few normal moments of sleepy surprise and confusion upon waking, looking forward to a few short moments when he didn't feel like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, he never got to enjoy them. The simple question of why he was sleeping in the office was quickly answered by his now fully awake mind and he was once again left to ponder all that had been, would be and might one day be. Stupid Lucy, my god she robs him of office privacy, she annoys him daily and now she can't allow him even a moment of delusional early morning comfort… This crime was worth firing her for, you know if they didn't have those annoying unfair dismissal laws, bastards law makers as if they understood real life anyway.
It was at that moment she entered the office, just walked in, no knock, no nothing…. As if you wouldn't first check to see if he was asleep on the floor, hugging a couch leg… Ok maybe you wouldn't, but hey if him and Linds weren't fighting she could have walked in on him asleep on the floor hugging her…. I mean Linds had agreed that the no sleeping at the office rule only meant no sleeping at the office alone.
"Bobby" Lucy exclaimed in surprise, as her foot came to rest on his nose, "what the hell are you doing down there? Does Linds know you're here? Oh my god, you guys fought! Ok so what was it about, I mean it has to be bad if you're here…. If you're here the fight is so bad relationship rules don't count anymore… On my god, she finally realized she's better than you hasn't she… Ooooh that must hurt, I mean really hurt. So is it over, or like is this a 'break' thing? If it's the break thing don't by any means sleep with the coffee girl down the road…or me…. Cause I saw that on friends and it did not work well for anybody." Finally having finished her rant, the point of which no one was quite sure of, Lucy looked down at Bobby expecting him to be irate, maybe even to the point of biting a toe, but no, instead she found him crying… Well not crying but whimpering, like he hurt bad, but didn't have the balls to cry out loud… That is such a guy thing… But anyway, it kinda made her feel bad, and she never felt bad.
"Are you okay?" she whispered, her face showing actual genuine care for once and not the contrived 'I feel for you now, but am totally gonna play this later for points' kind she usually used. Bobby looked up at her, with the eyes full of confusion, hurt, anger and pain… None of which was directed at her, but all of which was very fresh and intense. Seeing this Lucy carefully and quickly made her escape, figuring she was one person he would not be talking to about this, and if he did that meant it was very bad and she kind of didn't want to know if it was.
"Um…I'll just let you be right?" she whispered, and bolted for the door, slamming it behind her and leaning against it… hard. Breathing sighs of relief that a) the stare of pain was gone, and b) she wouldn't have to see that look and worry about it till she was forced to ask, in her oh so Lucy kinda way. At that point she raised her eyes, looked directly across the office to Lindsay's desk and realized very quickly just how wrong she was.
There right in front of her say Lindsay's, her eyes staring morosely at the door as if trying to see through it and yet scared of what she might see if she did. Like Bobby, she was a mess, her hair was neat, her make-up perfect, her eyes bottomless pits into which one could probably be sucked and never return, the lips quivering images of frailty and fear, and her body an ever shaking and poorly composed statue of the women that would normally be. Unlike Bobby her eyes showed no anger, only hurt, fear and confusion… It was if she knew this was bad, as if she knew the horror he was going through, knew his pain, and yet knew not why, or how, or what the hell she could do. She was a stack of cards, placed and held so perfectly one minute and falling the next, falling into oblivion, into nothingness and for a reason not yet known, or understood. Somehow, something had happened and neither party involved in the fight knew the what, where, who, how, or why of it, they simply knew it was wrong, something was wrong. Obviously something had occurred, something had made Bobby fly out last night, something had made Linds come home early, that something had caused something else, something that was neither understood, nor easily passable. Man, she could not wait to find out.
At that moment the door opened again and a bubbling Jimmy entered, followed by a cranky caffeine deprived Bec, a silent Eugene and surprise surprise a pissed off Ellenor. With this her attention was taken off Lindsay and placed on the others, Lindsay had noticeably pepped up at their arrival and was obviously trying very hard to create a strong front. So Lucy of the short attention span quickly forgot her and moved on to find out why exactly Ellenor was pissed this morning and how she exactly she could flaunt it.
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It was hours later, hours of forced work, of hidden glances at his office door, of terrifying thoughts and heart breaking reality's that the moment of truth came. It was like I had been leading up to it all morning, like every moment came down to this one, to the moment when all would be revealed and Bobby's reaction would prove to Linds whether or not they had a future. She sat watching his door and allowing the memory of the morning to roll through her mind as if on live action tape, the feeling of waking alone, of stretching out and hitting the back of a couch instead of the warmth of a chest, of sitting up and being in her old home. In the old apartment, in the one place where her saddest memories were interspersed with her happiest, memories of being alone, of waiting for him to call, to tell her he loved her but knowing he never would. Memories of the first time he had been to see her and made her aware of his love, memories of turning him down but knowing from the look in his eyes he would be back. Then all the memories of them together and here, watching movies on this couch, wrapped in his arms and not giving a damn what the stupid movie was about, those of him and his run ins with Helen, and the walk ins she always swore were accidents. All those memories flooded her mind this morning, all those and the memories of moving, of Helen's tears and Bobby's joy, of her own unbridled joy and yet incredible sadness, and of knowing she was going to be with him always now…. And then being left with the indescribable feeling of pain and uncertainty that one thought inspired. So she had run, dressed as quickly as possible and just run, away from that and to the one place where she could hide from feeling and emotion, the one place she could focus and not think about life beyond the walls of the courthouse… She'd copied him and run to work.
Thus here she had been, sitting, watching, and waiting for any appearance of his. He hadn't made it to the staff meeting, but then she had and couldn't even remember what had happened, Lucy could of run it and made them play hopscotch for all she remembered, she was too busy focussing on the slight movements that could be seen spasmodically behind the blinds of his office. She guessed it had ended, and everyone guided her out so she guessed no one had died during, and she could hazard a guess work was possible discussed, but that was it. And now she was here, still watching, still waiting, still confused and hoping beyond hope this would all get better before it got worse…. And then the phone rang.
"Good Morning, Donnell, Young, Dole and Frutt, How may I help you?" Lucy answered. The stealing a glance at Lindsay, who was watching the door intently and not moving in response to the call, or the now flashing buttons on her phone, continued with, 'I'm sorry Ms Dole is in a meeting right now, could I give her message?"
It was the next line that finally snapped Lindsay out of reverie, that finally made her give a damn about what the hell the bouncy little girl in the corner was saying.
"Ok, so the charges have been completely dismissed against both Ms Dole and Miss Gamble, and you ask her to accept your heartfelt apology….oh ok."
"Lucy!!" Lindsay screamed, "The phone Lucy, give me the phone!" she moved toward her grabbing for it and trying in vain to wrestle it from the teen's grip.
"Sir, I'm afraid Ms Dole gets charged often, sometimes several times a night. Would it be possible for you to tell me the charges you refer to so I can inform her which ones not to worry about?" Lucy asked as her eyes lit up evilly and her smile formed into one very similar to those held by the stereo typical TV bad guy. As this happened Lindsay's eyes dropped with embarrassment, her face grew pale and she moved quickly to retake her old position.
As Lucy hung up the phone and turned toward her captive audience Lindsay knew things were about to get a lot worse. Of course Lindsay had hoped that her sudden lack of interest, albeit actually her only available form of hiding and hoping the moment would pass painlessly, would convince everyone that she had no idea what Lucy's had been told and didn't think it important. Therefore effectively killing their interest in the situation… she was wrong. Apparently they knew her to well and understood that the only reason she would give up was if she already believed the fight lost, as a result they were now looking between Lindsay and Lucy with almost desperate expressions and pleading eyes. This was further heightened as Lucy gave them all wickedly happy grin, shrugged her shoulders and sat down, her eyes returning to the file she has been typing before the call had interrupted her.
This continued for almost an hour, the expectation and wild thoughts in the others heads growing by the minute, creating an electric and surging pulse of excitement within the room; Lucy however just sat there. She answered calls, she typed furiously, she even left the room for the bathroom, all the while generating this air of excitement and an almost palpable sense of power and joy. Lindsay had almost given up on her fear of Lucy revealing the truth; she had almost decided the child human and capable of expressing empathy…. Almost, but then Lucy spoke. She made no huge announcement, no warning she would do it, she was simply typing away, looking intently at the document she was typing and she spoke… without emotion, without fanfare, she just spoke, and as she did the world came crashing down around Lindsay.
"I have no idea what you saw in me when you hired me Rebecca" she started, Ellenor struggled in vain to hide her snicker of agreement. "I mean I know the top I was wearing the day we met was kinda low cut, and that mini was…well mini, but really what the hell did you hire me for, what kind of business is this?" Everyone was stunned to silence, all wondering where the hell she was headed, where this was all going, and then the bombshell was dropped, " I mean really is there a side to this place I don't know of, a secret door somewhere with a bordello hidden behind it. I mean lets face it the coincidences are pretty extreme… Jimmy represents hookers, he gets charged with hiring them… that I can understand…. He's Jimmy, but then I find out Lindsay IS a hooker."
"WHAT!!" the scream from the masses was both sudden and in a surround sound, as all of the people in the room turned to the accused and stared at her with absolute confusion. Lindsay however was so busy studying the unique patterns on her desk she didn't respond to them.
"You see that call was from a lovely cop in the area Lindsay and Helen were spose to be staying this week, he was apologizing for the charges, for the 'prostitution' charges. Said she was lucky that man of hers came and got it all straightened out…. Guess that's why Bobby slept on the floor in his office last night, or hell maybe he was just broke from the flight and couldn't afford Linds's services last night."
Lindsay turned her eyes from the now memorized wood patterns of her desk and looked at Lucy, her eyes filled not with hate, not with anger but with tears and pain. The thought of what Bobby had, was going through was so hard, she had not meant to hurt him, God she hadn't even done anything. Realizing suddenly that she had no idea what was so wrong between the two of them, and that only she could fix it Linds hopped up suddenly and made her way towards his office. She was stopped however by Rebecca's hand on her shoulder, pulling her gently back, wrapping around her shoulder in support, followed by the question she did not want to hear.
"What happened Linds?"
Looking up into Bec's face and seeing not condemnation, not disgust or hate but understanding and the desire to help her, Linds relented and was about to explain the situation when she heard Lucy's voice in the background, its tone mocking and degrading.
"Hey Jimmy, maybe this is why she turned you down, maybe you would have gotten lucky if you'd asked her with a hundred in your hand."
That was too much, that mocking, that display of humor and degradation towards a situation that was still so raw, so painful and so unresolved, it was all too much. With that she fled, took off, running out the office and down the hall, her eyes clouded with tears running so freely she could barely see her way.
Behind her Lucy suddenly realized the depth of the situation, the amount of tension, pain and uncertainty caused by it, and she silently kicked herself for her stupidity, while still laughing slightly at her own jokes though. Spinning around she moved to go back to work and away from the hateful stares of the others, and the constant looks of confusion and worry, but as she turned she ran into something solid, something rigid with anger. Looking up she found herself staring into two endless blue pools, two normally beautiful pools of light, but that were now filled with hate, anger and disgust all aimed at her. Though behind them she could see worry, see the way the eyes would flicker towards the door and back again at her as if deciding which issue to attack first. And then the decision was reached with one more hateful scowl her way and a disgusted shake of his head Bobby was gone, stalking out the door and after his wife. Leaving behind him four very confused people and one scared and stupid teen.
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His Father had often told him that if someone did not want to be found, they would not be found… who would of thought he had actually been right for once. Bobby had been looking for ages, he had checked every place he thought she might run to, the apartment, Helen's apartment, Helen's office, the little hidden coffee shop she would go to when she needed an escape from her busy life, and every place in between that sold hard liquor… But she was nowhere to be found. He was sitting in Helen's office now; it had unfortunately been the last place he could think of that he should check. Helen, seeing he hadn't had anywhere else to be, and not really caring if he did anyway, had subjected him to yet another conversation on just how much of an ass he was. … Cause you know he found those so damn enjoyable.
Thinking back on what she had said though he realized something, Helen had spoken of the way Lindsay would hide, as if she wanted away from it all but was hoping upon hope that the object of her current pain would find and confront her anyway. She listed times Linds had done just such, the time they had fought at college and Linds had run to the little hidden alcove in the library where they had often spent hours just talking the way only best friends can. The time, as a child, she had been forced to listen to the fight that tore her parent's marriage apart; she'd run to the family cottage where they had spent many a happy holiday. It had hit him then; she ran to the one place she could think of where all the pain in her mind, all the fears, all the hurt was replaced and over powered by the beautiful happy memories the place brought forth.
She was at Fenway.
The very place where everything she now feared lost had started so perfectly.
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It was meant to work, it had never failed her before, Never. You just hid, in a place they would know to look, know to come to, know that she would be at because it would make it all stop. But this time it didn't stop, the pain she'd caused Bobby didn't leave, the hurt of what she'd done and what it had caused never lessened. This place should have made her remember only happiness, only beauty and love, but it didn't. As she stared down at the pitch, she never saw the players there, or the fans hanging over the fences and hoping for an autograph as they watched the Red Sox in their last open practice session before the season commenced, she only saw an image of the past. She saw her wedding, she saw the surprise ceremony she'd arranged, the look on his face as he'd turned, she felt the same feeling she had felt as he said the words she'd waited so long to hear 'til death us do part'. Well now they were apart and she guessed it was a death, because the part of her that the memory's evoked by this field should of made so happy was dead, unfeeling. All those feelings had drowned in the knowledge that it all might be dead. He had not found her yet, maybe he wouldn't, maybe he wasn't even trying, why should he?
She knew he knew she was innocent, but god, even the thought of it, the thought that she would be unfaithful like that…. Bobby had always been commitment shy, always had issues with relationships, for this very reason, the fear it instilled, the knowledge you could be letting yourself in for disappointment… She guessed she'd proven him right, and even if she hadn't she know knew why he was so upset, she had reawakened every fear he had ever held about them, she'd made him vulnerable. Or maybe he didn't even believe them, maybe he really did think her a prostitute now, maybe he really did think she would do that to him, that he wasn't her whole world.
The image before her eye's, the image projected from her heart onto the field before her was changed now, it was no longer what she had come here for, it was now everything she feared. He still said those words but instead of his voice being emotion filled, instead of his tone carrying those hoarse chords and displaying openly just how much this meant to him, it was empty, dull, untrusting. Like he knew she would hurt him, like he was doing this because he loved her now but knew without a doubt she would betray his love. It was no longer a moment of beauty, but one of resignation and acceptance that he must do this now, but would pay for it later. Lindsay was so caught up in the horror of this moment she never saw the man beside her, never felt him sit and go through his own memories of that day, never even knew he was there until she felt him take her hand in his.
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Bobby could feel it as soon as he entered, the vibrancy, the passion and the excitement this place inspired in so many. He couldn't help but laugh at the way the small children, teens and hell even adults hung over the fencing, watching, waiting and hoping beyond hope that one of the players would notice them. He'd done that, he'd been there, the last practice of the season was the one most exciting moment of his year as a child, he would come and hang over the fence exactly like they did. Wait impatiently for the moment when the players would start acknowledging the crowd, wait for the moment when they would offer one young fan the chance to pitch. His dream, the chance to pitch to a Red Sox player, on this grounds, in front of these people. But he had made his decision not long ago; 'one out of two ain't bad' the one he had gotten wasn't bad, it was perfect. He had achieved the better of the two dreams; he had a beautiful wife…. Wife… His wife… That thought brought back to him every little thought he had had this past 24 hours, every nagging fear and worry for the future, but he suppressed them. They had to deal with this now, with the aftermath of the event and not the terrifying thoughts it had brought up. Sure those would need to be dealt with too, but for now he just needed her to tell him he was right, this was all a big misunderstanding, she was innocent and she was his. That was what was needed now, the rest could wait, it couldn't wait long but it could wait.
Taking his eyes from the action by the nets, he quickly scanned the seats, then rescanned, and rescanned and she wasn't there. The one place he had been sure he would find her, she wasn't there. The idea terrified him; this was the place, the one place. As Helen had explained it to him, it had to a place he would know, this was it, the one place where the only memories they held were pleasant ones… beyond pleasant ones… They were perfect, beautiful moments in time, the sort of moments you freeze in your mind and can capture forever in perfect living detail because they mean so much to you they ingrained in your soul. They both held those memories, both held them so dear, held onto them in moments of uncertainty and that is why she should be here. God, if she wasn't here that meant she considered all lost, it meant she honestly believed his behavior meant that no matter what beautiful memories they relived together, no matter what they shared and what they had it was all gone… They were now over, over and done, gone, kaput. If she wasn't here then he knew she had lost hope, lost faith in them and in that case he had nothing left to fight for.
It was at that moment as his wondering mind caught the motion of a powerfully driven ball and his unfocussed eyes followed it, that he saw her. She was tiny, none of the usual powerful, dominating force surrounded her, none of her usual spark was there she was just a tiny lost being among a sea of empty seats. Moving quickly toward her, he waved his hands slightly thinking that his best option was to gain her attention first, to judge her reaction to him before deciding his plan of action. But she never saw him, her eyes never flinched from the play on field, but he knew she saw nothing of the game. Her eyes followed the course from pitching mound to home plate as if retracing her steps on that day, as if watching herself walk towards him, watching the awe and love so present on his face as he realized what she had done for him. He watched as her eyes reeled slightly in her head, as what had at the start of the memory been a wistful smile changed to a look of horror and hurt. This look then disappeared as her eyes returned to the pitchers mound as she prepared to start the journey over, her expression seeming as if she wished the ending were different, but had lost hope that it would be.
********************
Lindsay's body was shaken from its trance as he took her hand, her mind once lost in another plane of existence and fighting to control itself as it viewed everything she feared, was transported suddenly back to this reality. At first the most overpowering of her emotions was relief, sudden and overwhelming relief at the simple knowledge that she would not have to bear that here, that here she was happy. But then as she glanced down at the hand clasped in hers, as she followed it back up to see the person who she knew that hand belonged to she was reminded that right now she was not happy, she was just plain confused and scared. But hey, he was here, he found her, and he was holding her hand, offering her comfort…. That meant something, right?
Pulling away from him she slowly turned her eyes up to meet his, to view into those silent orbs of color that would tell her right here and now if there was hope to be held. These were the only part of him that was not able to lock away into his vault, the only part of him he couldn't hide. But as she did, just as she was about to meet them, just as she was about to find out exactly what she was facing, he turned away. He turned away! That one simple movement told her more than his eyes could ever have told her, he couldn't even face her. Following his eyes she noticed what it was he was watching, one of the players had walked into the crowd. He held a megaphone and was now telling everyone there that if they wished to pitch for the Red Sox, to come down onto the pitching mound right now and pitch to a player…. They could. That was it, she knew that was it, Bobby's other wish, handed to him on a silver platter and offering him the perfect excuse to run, realizing this and knowing he would go she slowly slipped her hand from his and moved away slightly, allowing him the chance to run. The chance to go without confrontation, without argument, to just leave. For a few seconds she held her breath as he failed to move, she silently prayed he wouldn't, that he would stay and then she would know it was all ok, and then she felt him move, and everything she treasured came crashing down around her.
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She was letting him go, letting him go and pitch for the Red Sox, his other dream… One of the two dreams he'd held since childhood.. She was letting him go. But he could feel it, he could feel her pull away from him, not only in person but in spirit, she was letting him go, letting him go not just to pitch but for good. She thought the situation lost, she thought herself unforgivable and she was offering him the option she thought he wanted- the chance to walk away without saying a word. And so he stood, he stepped forward, looked longingly at the pitch at the little boys, teenagers and men all crowded near the pitch. Beside him she sighed almost inaudibly obviously seeing his look, watching his steps and thinking he was leaving, he knew she feared that, but she was wrong. He took one more step forwards, listening intently to her as she tried to hold back her tears, and then he stopped, he turned, and he kneeled before her once again taking her hand in his. He watched as she looked up in shock, as her eyes filled with hope and she looked at him in absolute wonder. He couldn't help but notice how cute her hopeful little smile was, how her eyes lit up when she looked at him, it was all just further validation that he made the right choice. Squeezing her hand slightly, he held it to his face, kissed it gently before whispering in an emotion stained voice,
"One out of two ain't bad".
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That was it, a little line from their past, one that had stumped her when he first said it and now had again. It had been used at one time to get himself out of trouble, and now to show her she was out of trouble. Sure talking would follow, it was quite obvious that it was not the charge, or the fact he had had to bail her out that upset him, rather it had been a catalyst for something else he had been forced to confront. But right now, right now it was ok. Her eyes lit up at his comment, her smile growing ever larger as she realized the true meaning of his words. The tears kept flowing and her body still shook with sobs they were now a completely different type of emotion, one so overpoweringly happy she couldn't stop herself from falling into his arms. Propelling herself forward she hit him full force wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and burying her face in her shoulder as sobs continued to wrack her body. He held her back, so tightly she could barely breathe, but then that was hardly important right now. Pulling her face from his shoulder and yet staying wrapped in his arms she met his eyes once again and voiced her concern about how this would play out in the end.
"We still need to talk, you have to let me in on what you were thinking about."
Waiting for him to nod his reply she once again buried her face in his shoulder and just held him.
"But after that, what do you think about you and me tag teaming Lucy" he deadpanned, and with that one comment the tears were gone as Lindsay burst into laughter.
*********************
It was hours later that they actually left the park, however none of the much needed talking had been done, the time had been spent simply remembering, remembering the day not so long ago that this all began. They had sat side by side, hands held tightly together, just staring, staring at the pitch, at the play below and not seeing it but seeing the memory. They had spoken of their greatest memory of that day, the one moment that meant the most to them. For Bobby it was the moment the lights went up, the moment he saw her and knew that not only was this beautiful women there to become his wife, but that she had sacrificed her dream to give him his. For Lindsay it was that same moment but for a different reason, for the simple fact that as he saw her, as he began to understand she had finally seen in his eyes the validation she had needed. The knowledge that what she had done was right was gained, and the knowledge that he did indeed want this as badly as her reaffirmed. But as the game had ended, as cleaners arrived to make the place spotless they finally returned to reality, to today, and were forced to leave, forced to go off and live in the present, in a present that required talking.
Finally, after a long ride filled with comfortable silence they reached the house, the one place that had been too scary and painful for both the exist in the night before, but was now a haven of refuge as they faced dealing with the aftermath. Of course what needed to be dealt with first was not the talking, but instead the painfully annoying sound of the answering machine letting them know they had messages. Pressing the button to reveal who had called them Lindsay was greeted by the frustrated voice of her dearest, and most annoying, friend.
"Lindsay! Are you really there? Ok I guess not….. Did the ASS find you yet? He came to see me and believe me I dropped hints, so his ass-ness could fix this, but we all know how thick he is, he's probably still driving the streets calling your name out the window. Anyway, I just wanted to check you're ok… call me ok…. Unless he found you and you're making up… then don't call me…. And remember, take the cash before the act, he may do a runner on you if you don't. Ok outie."
Holding back a laugh Lindsay looked timidly up at Bobby to gauge his reaction to Helen's rather tactless message, but instead of the irate Bobby she expected, she found him looking rather contrite.
"Bobby?" she asked quietly as he took her hand and led her to the couch, "Bobby, what's going on? Are you ok?"
Smiling slightly he shook his head in response and replied with,
"Nope, I'm an ass"
"Bobby……." She intoned, "She was being stup…" Her words were stopped however as he placed his fingers over her lips and hushed her gently.
"No, who would of thought after all this time Helen would be right…. I should congratulate her for that, anyway…. She was right, I'm an ass. I should of spoken to you, let you tell your story, you once accused me of not opening my vault and letting you see what I was feeling, letting you help me, I promised I would…. And I failed."
"Bobby" she whispered again, her voice quietly asking him where he was going with this, but at the same time needing to clarify the fact that this had all been caused by her own stupidity…well it had been caused by Helen, but she trusted Helen… therefore her own stupidity. "I let you down, I scared you… You had every right to react the way you did… Believe me you ever get arrested for prostitution and I won't ignore you… I'll kill you, especially if Helen is somehow involved".
Smiling slightly at her comment he continued with his line of thought. "It wasn't the arrest that upset me Linds, sure that call was the shock of my life, and I don't think I remember a time when I was more unsure, or scared of anything than during those four hours on the plane out there." Opening her mouth to whisper her apologies once more Lindsay was once more stopped by his fingers on her lips. "The scary thing was where those hours drove me, I knew, I knew on some unconscious level it was all a mistake, and that was proven to me when I spoke to the officers… But it made me think Linds, it made me think 'what if?'. What would I do if I ever lost you? I mean nothing lasts forever right? What if one day in the future something does happen and everything I feared during those four hours actually eventuates. That thought scared me so much, I couldn't face you, I couldn't talk to you, I couldn't be near you, I just had to think."
"Bobby" Lindsay started, her eyes once again misting over with tears as her hands reached up to hold his face, to softly stroke his cheek as she thought exactly how to reply. "You have nothing to be afraid of Bobby, I didn't go that far, I didn't think futures, I thought here and now, I thought here and now I had lost you, and the thought almost killed me. I had to run to Fenway, to hide in a memory so happy and beautiful I thought it couldn't be ruined, it couldn't be tarnished… But it was. I won't ever allow that to happen again."
"I realized that" he replied, his body edging closer to hers as he finally allowed himself to believe in happily ever after again. "I mean I also have to realize that you can't plan or change the future, that life will dictate how we live it and we follow a path already set, but I know I love you. And I will do anything in my power to have you here, to hold you like this for the rest of my life… you ain't going anywhere." This last bit was spoken decisively, powerfully as though he was telling her she needn't bother trying to disobey him, as if she could anyway.
"Well I have no really pressing plans for eternity, so I guess I could fit you in" she whispered in reply as her arms wound around his neck pulling him down to meet her in a bone crushing embrace. Holding back for only a moment Bobby pulled back slightly, capturing his lips with his and kissing her in such a way that she was left her with no doubt as to how exactly he wished for her to show her acceptance of this life long contract.
Pulling away quickly, she stood, taking his hand in hers and pulling him from his seat, then pulling away she began to walk towards their bedroom, just as she reached it she realized Bobby was not following her. Turning to see what had become of him she found him by the table, his briefcase open and checkbook held in one hand, pen gripped in the other.
"Do you accept Visa, or would a personal cheque be better."
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