Zim sat back, wiping some sweat from his brow, and looked carefully over the plans he'd spent the past three days working on. They were perfect - flawless in every way! ... except that stain of grape juice in one corner from Gir but he ignored that. He'd done his research, oh yes, coming back with ten books from the research station after reporting in to the Tallest. All of them had been most informative; 'The Secrets of Winning Men', 'How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You', etc. Zim knew, of course, that he could get Dib to fall in love with him without outside help, but it was always good to try and see things from a filthy human's point of view when dealing with the aforementioned species. So he'd read, thought, and plotted until he finally formulated the perfect plan. And now... it was ready.
"Prepare yourself for the full force of Irken love, Dib," Zim said with an evil chuckle.
---
Dib hadn't come out of his room for longer than ten minutes to either get food or use the bathroom since returning home from school that fateful day. Even curled up underneath his blankets, he could still hear the other kids' voices.
"Do you think he's gay too?"
"I always knew he was a fag! Just look at those boots!"
"I thought you and the green guy were already going out."
Dib shuddered. Going out? With ZIM? God, everyone else really WAS blind, he thought to himself, I hate Zim. He's the reason no one else takes me seriously - well, a big part of the reason anyways. He's trying to destroy all of mankind and take over the planet!
Of course, none of this seemed to faze Gaz in the slightest. All she said, without even looking up from her game as they walked home, was, "So _are_ you gay?"
Dib didn't know. And really, he didn't care. He just wasn't attracted to anyone. Sure, some of the girls at skool were kind of pretty, but they all thought he was insane and liked to point and laugh at him, so what little appeal they held was fleeting. As for the guys - well, he never looked. Most of them were too busy pummeling the crap out of him to warrant any sort of fond emotion. Besides, he didn't need or want a social life. All he needed was his drive, his obsession, and Zim.
And Zim....
"Uuugh," Dib groaned, covering his head with a pillow. "No wonder that girl thought we were going out! I've been chasing him, literally, for years! Nng... this is so sick and wrong."
Alright, the logical voice in his head kicked in, let's think this over... I have no social life. No interest, really, in another human being. I do have a lot of interest in Zim - just... not in that way. Yet? No, not ever. Well... not yet. And Zim - Zim has convinced his alien brain that he's in love with me. How that happened - hey, how the hell DID that happen?! Last time I checked he wanted to turn me inside out! When the hell did he .... what's that noise?
Dib carefully lifted the pillow off of his head, peering out of his cocoon of blankets. It sounded like someone was tapping on his window, but he was on the second story so it was impossible. Unless some of the jocks from skool had found him and were throwing rocks at his window. Scowling, Dib wrestled his way free of his blankets and padded over to his window in his pajamas, deciding that if it _was_ a bunch of muscle-bound idiots, he'd just have to make a quick trip down to Dad's lab....
Dib opened the window, peering outside. Since it was the middle of the night, the town was dark and silent - except for that one brightly lit part of his front yard. To Dib's increasing horror, the little patch of light seemed to be surrounding one very green looking person with a karaoke machine.... And, if Dib was not mistaken, the green person seemed to be singing....
" - first of spring, no song to siiing,
In fact here's just another ordinary daaay,
No April rain,
No flooowers bloom,
No wedding Saturday within the month of June,
But what it iiiiis, is something true,
Made up of these three words that I must say to youuu
I just called to say I love youuu
I just called to say how much I caa - "
Dib slammed his window shut. That was... disturbing. Horribly, horribly disturbing. Zim was... Zim was serenading him?! Maybe he _had_ fallen into a really large puddle....
There was a knock on his door. "Son?" The muffled, sleepy voice of Professor Membrane made itself audible. "Could you tell your little foreign friend to keep it down out there?"
"HE'S NOT MY FRIEND!! I'M NOT GAY!!"
"That's nice...." Dib listened to his Dad's footsteps shuffle back off before opening the window.
"Hey! Zim!"
Zim paused in mid-chorus, peering up at Dib. "Yes?"
"What are you - why did you - go away!!"
A strange look flickered across Zim's face, but Dib wasn't sure what it was - or if he hadn't just imagined it. "You want me to go away?" Zim called up softly.
"YES! I'm trying to get some sleep!" That was a lie, but his Dad was and he was waiting for Gaz to come pounding on his door at any moment now to tell him to shut up.
"Oh," Zim said, blinking. He was quiet for a moment before he puffed out his slight chest. "I shall return during the day then or I will find you at skool! You cannot escape my love, Dib! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!"
Dib watched the cackling alien pack-up the karaoke machine and spot-light before leaving, laughing all the while which set off a few car alarms. Sighing, Dib closed his window and headed back to bed. Maybe he _should_ go to skool tomorrow - his grades were bound to suffer if he didn't show up soon. Then again, the thought of Zim singing him love songs in front of the entire skool....
Dib decided to stay in bed until he thought up a plan.
---
"How did 'Operation : Love' go?" Gir inquired as Zim walked through the front door, the robot's attention momentarily diverted from it's favourite show.
"Not as smoothly as I expected," Zim said, removing his disguise, "It seems I was interrupting his sleeping patterns."
"Awww. Ooo, the monkey is growling!"
"That... monkey!" Zim shuddered before heading for the underground base. Phase one had gone a bit off-course, but phase two.... Zim grinned. The filthy human would never know what hit him.
(again, the books are real. Fear reality. The song, 'I Just Called To Say I Love You', is the property of Stevie Wonder and was chosen for my own amusement. Many thanks to everyone's support and positive feedback for this fic so far, I - as well as my ego - really appreciate it. Also mucho thanks to Shiawase for being a wonderful beta reader and putting up with me in general)
"Prepare yourself for the full force of Irken love, Dib," Zim said with an evil chuckle.
---
Dib hadn't come out of his room for longer than ten minutes to either get food or use the bathroom since returning home from school that fateful day. Even curled up underneath his blankets, he could still hear the other kids' voices.
"Do you think he's gay too?"
"I always knew he was a fag! Just look at those boots!"
"I thought you and the green guy were already going out."
Dib shuddered. Going out? With ZIM? God, everyone else really WAS blind, he thought to himself, I hate Zim. He's the reason no one else takes me seriously - well, a big part of the reason anyways. He's trying to destroy all of mankind and take over the planet!
Of course, none of this seemed to faze Gaz in the slightest. All she said, without even looking up from her game as they walked home, was, "So _are_ you gay?"
Dib didn't know. And really, he didn't care. He just wasn't attracted to anyone. Sure, some of the girls at skool were kind of pretty, but they all thought he was insane and liked to point and laugh at him, so what little appeal they held was fleeting. As for the guys - well, he never looked. Most of them were too busy pummeling the crap out of him to warrant any sort of fond emotion. Besides, he didn't need or want a social life. All he needed was his drive, his obsession, and Zim.
And Zim....
"Uuugh," Dib groaned, covering his head with a pillow. "No wonder that girl thought we were going out! I've been chasing him, literally, for years! Nng... this is so sick and wrong."
Alright, the logical voice in his head kicked in, let's think this over... I have no social life. No interest, really, in another human being. I do have a lot of interest in Zim - just... not in that way. Yet? No, not ever. Well... not yet. And Zim - Zim has convinced his alien brain that he's in love with me. How that happened - hey, how the hell DID that happen?! Last time I checked he wanted to turn me inside out! When the hell did he .... what's that noise?
Dib carefully lifted the pillow off of his head, peering out of his cocoon of blankets. It sounded like someone was tapping on his window, but he was on the second story so it was impossible. Unless some of the jocks from skool had found him and were throwing rocks at his window. Scowling, Dib wrestled his way free of his blankets and padded over to his window in his pajamas, deciding that if it _was_ a bunch of muscle-bound idiots, he'd just have to make a quick trip down to Dad's lab....
Dib opened the window, peering outside. Since it was the middle of the night, the town was dark and silent - except for that one brightly lit part of his front yard. To Dib's increasing horror, the little patch of light seemed to be surrounding one very green looking person with a karaoke machine.... And, if Dib was not mistaken, the green person seemed to be singing....
" - first of spring, no song to siiing,
In fact here's just another ordinary daaay,
No April rain,
No flooowers bloom,
No wedding Saturday within the month of June,
But what it iiiiis, is something true,
Made up of these three words that I must say to youuu
I just called to say I love youuu
I just called to say how much I caa - "
Dib slammed his window shut. That was... disturbing. Horribly, horribly disturbing. Zim was... Zim was serenading him?! Maybe he _had_ fallen into a really large puddle....
There was a knock on his door. "Son?" The muffled, sleepy voice of Professor Membrane made itself audible. "Could you tell your little foreign friend to keep it down out there?"
"HE'S NOT MY FRIEND!! I'M NOT GAY!!"
"That's nice...." Dib listened to his Dad's footsteps shuffle back off before opening the window.
"Hey! Zim!"
Zim paused in mid-chorus, peering up at Dib. "Yes?"
"What are you - why did you - go away!!"
A strange look flickered across Zim's face, but Dib wasn't sure what it was - or if he hadn't just imagined it. "You want me to go away?" Zim called up softly.
"YES! I'm trying to get some sleep!" That was a lie, but his Dad was and he was waiting for Gaz to come pounding on his door at any moment now to tell him to shut up.
"Oh," Zim said, blinking. He was quiet for a moment before he puffed out his slight chest. "I shall return during the day then or I will find you at skool! You cannot escape my love, Dib! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!"
Dib watched the cackling alien pack-up the karaoke machine and spot-light before leaving, laughing all the while which set off a few car alarms. Sighing, Dib closed his window and headed back to bed. Maybe he _should_ go to skool tomorrow - his grades were bound to suffer if he didn't show up soon. Then again, the thought of Zim singing him love songs in front of the entire skool....
Dib decided to stay in bed until he thought up a plan.
---
"How did 'Operation : Love' go?" Gir inquired as Zim walked through the front door, the robot's attention momentarily diverted from it's favourite show.
"Not as smoothly as I expected," Zim said, removing his disguise, "It seems I was interrupting his sleeping patterns."
"Awww. Ooo, the monkey is growling!"
"That... monkey!" Zim shuddered before heading for the underground base. Phase one had gone a bit off-course, but phase two.... Zim grinned. The filthy human would never know what hit him.
(again, the books are real. Fear reality. The song, 'I Just Called To Say I Love You', is the property of Stevie Wonder and was chosen for my own amusement. Many thanks to everyone's support and positive feedback for this fic so far, I - as well as my ego - really appreciate it. Also mucho thanks to Shiawase for being a wonderful beta reader and putting up with me in general)