A/N: I just want to take a moment to answer some questions:
Kurai Musoka - No, you're not losing, you read Legolas' Beloved, which was the original version of this story, but it was short and boring so I rewrote it. =o)
Kara Angelle - The Firien Wood is in the same mountains as Helm's Deep... in fact it's not that far from Helm's Deep. Look at the map in The Return of the King and you should be able to find it. =o)
ArwenAria18 - From now on you can't review until a few days after mid-terms, not right after. **smiles** Luingil didn't tell Legolas for two reasons - 1) he had promised Aiwë he wouldn't and 2) Legolas already believed Aiwë was alive, so he didn't see the point in telling him.
Aurelia Lothlorien - The cookies are whatever kind you like, and I refill the plate with fresh cookies when it runs low. =o)
Okay, I think that's all the questions, now here's the story. **AS**
~*Love Never Loses Hope*~
Chapter 12: Aiwë or Shadow?
"Talbit, stop!"
The mountain horse stopped obediently, sweat glistening on his flanks. They had ridden through the night, stopping only twice for a brief rest before carrying on. Now it was late in the afternoon, and in the distance the Fords of Osgiliath were beginning to come into view.
"Let us rest until sundown," Shadow said, slipping off Talbit's back. "I fear we may have to slip past guards when we reach Osgiliath, and that will be easier under the cover of night."
Talbit merely snorted in agreement and nibbled some grass. Shadow lay down on the grass and stared at the sky, questions chasing themselves around her head. What if he has forgotten me? What if he is given to another? What if he no longer loves me? What if - Her thoughts were interrupted by an unearthly shriek. Leaping to her feet she gazed up at the black creature that circled the sky above her. Talbit snorted and reared, but did not bolt. Suddenly another shriek filled the air and the creature turned and flew away.
"What on Arda was that?" Shadow whispered, shaking like a leaf.
Talbit trotted over to her and nuzzled her more for his comfort than hers.
"Come, Talbit, I fear something evil is about to happen, we must go now." Shadow leapt onto Talbit's back and the horse galloped towards the Fords of Osgiliath. They reached them just as the sun set.
"Halt! Who are you and what is your errand?"
"My name is Shadow and I ride to the aid of the King of Gondor," Shadow said quickly, eager to reach the army. "Now let me pass."
The guard tightened his grip on his spear shaft. He had his orders, and he did not like the look of this Elf. "The Fords are to remain closed until the King returns," the guard said firmly. "You shall have to find another way."
"Another way?" Shadow snapped, her anger getting the better of her. "I must reach the army and there is no other way! Now let me pass."
The guard eyed her warily. "No one will pass, I say again, find another way."
Shadow's eyes flashed angrily, but she could do nothing. "Please, I beg of you, let me pass," she said more calmly.
"For the last time, no," the guard said angrily. "Now leave this place."
"I could charge the gates," Talbit offered.
Shadow shook her head. "We have no choice, Talbit, we must go."
Talbit snorted and eyed the guard thoughtfully, then his gaze drifted to the river. "Can you swim?"
Shadow looked down at him, startled. "What?"
"Well, I suppose it doesn't matter, just cling to my neck." With that the horse turned and galloped towards the river, the guards of Osgiliath shouting after them in surprise. Shadow gasped as Talbit plunged into the icy water, the powerful horse slowly making his way across the river. Shadow closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Talbit's neck, hoping they would not be swept away. Suddenly she felt Talbit's hooves strike something hard, and opening her eyes she found that they had reached the West bank. Talbit had swum across the Anduin.
Slipping from Talbit's back, Shadow leaned against him, water dripping from her and a chill wind making her shiver slightly. "You foolish horse! What were you thinking? You could have gotten us killed!" Shadow laughed.
"We got across the river didn't we?" Talbit snorted, trying to catch his breath.
Shadow turned slightly and saw the guards running towards them. "Oh great," she muttered. "We better go, Talbit."
Talbit gave another snort. "You're not serious."
Before she could answer, the guards reached them. "That was incredible!" one of them, a mere boy, cried, his eyes wide. "No horse can do that!"
"Hush!" rebuked an older guard. "You are right, no horse can do that. But I do not doubt a creature of the Enemy could."
Shadow's eyes glinted angrily, and Talbit lifted his head with a harsh neigh. "We are not in league with the Enemy, nor is Talbit a creature of Sauron's. If you are implying otherwise you are sorely mistaken."
The guard's eyes narrowed and his hand strayed towards his sword. "Am I, Shadow? You seem rather suspicious to me. And how do you explain the blade that you carry? It is Gondorian, or I am a toad."
"You are a toad anyway, but it is a Gondorian blade," Shadow said with a sly smile. "A friend gave it to me."
"Who would befriend you?" the guard spat. "I thought Elves were polite and noble, but you are a worthless brat!"
Her anger threatening to spill over, Shadow clenched her teeth and growled, "I suppose I am just a worthless brat. You see, I am not a normal Elf, in fact I am not even sure I am an Elf anymore. But I suppose even a brat can teach you some manners!"
With a snarl the guard drew his sword and leapt at her and Shadow faced him eagerly, sword drawn. Their blades met with a fierce clash, and though it had been years since Shadow had fought, her hands quickly remembered their skill. But the guard was skilled as well. Neither was gaining any ground, and it did not look like it would end soon.
What am I doing? Shadow thought angrily. Why am I fighting him? And why did I say those things? Of course I am an Elf! And I should know better than to act like this!
With this realization Shadow stepped back and lowered her sword. But the guard was to angry to notice. He thought she was tiring and took the opportunity to strike. Shadow would have died then, if someone had not leapt from the shadows and thrown the guard to the ground.
Shadow turned to her savior and nearly fainted when she saw who it was - Luingil.
"Aiwë, what are you doing?" her brother asked angrily.
Shadow bowed her head, the sword dropping from her hand. Luingil turned and helped the stunned guard to his feet.
"And I would like to hear your explanation as well," the Elf growled.
The guard shrank back, for he had seen Luingil ride through at the head of the army with the King two days ago. "She started it!" he said, pointing a shaky finger at Shadow. "She insulted me and defied our orders!"
Shadow lifted her head, eyes ablaze again. "I believe it was you who started the insults," she said coldly. "And as for defying your orders, you told me the Fords were closed and I was to find another way around. So I did."
The guard had no reply and stood glaring at Shadow. Luingil looked between the two opponents and sighed. "Aiwë, you have no excuse for what you did, nor do you sir. I do not doubt she provoked you, but you still have no excuse. And Aiwë, how could you do this?"
"Shadow," she said quietly.
"What?" Luingil asked, startled.
"My name is Shadow," she said, head bowed.
"Gwath, what are you -" suddenly he stopped, a pained look on his face. "Guards, return to your duties, I will take care of her."
The guards obeyed reluctantly and went back to the Fords, leaving the Elves alone. Talbit nuzzled Shadow and she hugged him gratefully. When the guards were out of hearing range, Luingil turned to his sister.
"Aiwë, what is going on?" he asked anxiously.
"I told you my name is Shadow!" she said, her face buried in Talbit's mane.
Luingil turned her to face him, and was surprised to see she was crying. "Ai - Shadow, what has happened to you?"
"I have failed Legolas and I have failed you," she sobbed. "I ran away and hid in Minas Tirith, trying to be something I am not. Then I went to the Firien Wood and I thought I had become myself once again, but I was wrong. I am still a failure."
Luingil wrapped his arms around his sister and hugged her tightly. "You have not failed me," he said quietly. "I am very proud of you. You have been through much and still remained strong. But you are allowing your emotions to control you instead of learning to control them. One cannot turn their back on what they once were, nor can they always go back to what they were."
"But what about Legolas?" she whispered. "I almost lost faith in him. Will he still love me?"
Shadow was surprised when Luingil began to laugh. "Will he still love you? What kind of a question is that?" he laughed. "Of course he still loves you! Do you know he went back to Dol Guldur just to find out if you were alive? And he would not leave until he had found proof you had escaped."
Shadow's eyes widened. "He.. what?"
"He knows you are alive, and he wants more than anything to see you again," Luingil said with a kind smile.
Shadow sniffed and wiped her eyes. "But... I am not Aiwë anymore."
"And you are not Shadow," Luingil said gently. "You cannot go back to they way you were, nor can you stay the way you are now. You are not meant to be Shadow."
"You mean I must find another name?" Shadow asked with a half-hearted laugh.
"I suppose so," Luingil replied with a sympathetic smile.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
"Talbit swam across the Anduin?!"
Shadow smiled at her brother's surprise. "Yes, I was quite shocked myself. He is as stubborn as I am."
"Now that is an impossible feat," Talbit laughed.
Shadow smiled and pushed her friend playfully. They had left the Fords and begun to travel upstream, walking slowly for Talbit's sake. Luingil had given Shadow his cloak, and she was much warmer. As they walked she told him all that had happen since the Emyn Muil and he listened with quiet sympathy. When she had finished, he put a kind arm about her shoulders.
"It is no wonder you changed so much," he mused. "But not necessarily in a bad way!" he added quickly. "You are wiser, though your wisdom came at a price."
"So what shall I be called now, Sael*?" she laughed.
Luingil grinned and shook his head. "No, I think Sorie had the right idea - Star-daughter."
Shadow smiled. "But it is a bit long, do you not think so?
"We can call you Star for short," he said impudently. "But I am afraid we must now turn our thoughts to more serious things. Before tomorrow is very old a battle will be fought at the very gates of Mordor. I do not doubt Talbit can get us there in time to fight, but do you wish to go to the battle?"
Shadow bit her lip and glanced at Talbit. "It is up to you, Star-daughter," the mountain horse said quietly.
Shadow closed her eyes, memories rushing back to her. When she opened her eyes they danced with mischief. "I believe I have a score to settle with the Orcs," she said with a sly smile. "Besides, I have not been in a good battle in a long time."
Luingil smiled and shook his head. "Only you could make light of a battle."
"Call it a gift," she laughed. "Come, we should get a bit of rest before we carry on."
The three friends lay down as the moon began to sink behind the hills. Before they fell asleep, Shadow spoke. "One more thing - from now on, just call me Star."
* Sael - 'wise' in Sindarin... I couldn't find 'wisdom.'
**holds out cookie plate** What did you think? Good, bad, confusing, terrible, should I change it? The characters keep throwing things at me and I don't what to do! Please tell me what you think! Liked/Hated/Loved, suggestions, anything!
Kurai Musoka - No, you're not losing, you read Legolas' Beloved, which was the original version of this story, but it was short and boring so I rewrote it. =o)
Kara Angelle - The Firien Wood is in the same mountains as Helm's Deep... in fact it's not that far from Helm's Deep. Look at the map in The Return of the King and you should be able to find it. =o)
ArwenAria18 - From now on you can't review until a few days after mid-terms, not right after. **smiles** Luingil didn't tell Legolas for two reasons - 1) he had promised Aiwë he wouldn't and 2) Legolas already believed Aiwë was alive, so he didn't see the point in telling him.
Aurelia Lothlorien - The cookies are whatever kind you like, and I refill the plate with fresh cookies when it runs low. =o)
Okay, I think that's all the questions, now here's the story. **AS**
Chapter 12: Aiwë or Shadow?
The mountain horse stopped obediently, sweat glistening on his flanks. They had ridden through the night, stopping only twice for a brief rest before carrying on. Now it was late in the afternoon, and in the distance the Fords of Osgiliath were beginning to come into view.
"Let us rest until sundown," Shadow said, slipping off Talbit's back. "I fear we may have to slip past guards when we reach Osgiliath, and that will be easier under the cover of night."
Talbit merely snorted in agreement and nibbled some grass. Shadow lay down on the grass and stared at the sky, questions chasing themselves around her head. What if he has forgotten me? What if he is given to another? What if he no longer loves me? What if - Her thoughts were interrupted by an unearthly shriek. Leaping to her feet she gazed up at the black creature that circled the sky above her. Talbit snorted and reared, but did not bolt. Suddenly another shriek filled the air and the creature turned and flew away.
"What on Arda was that?" Shadow whispered, shaking like a leaf.
Talbit trotted over to her and nuzzled her more for his comfort than hers.
"Come, Talbit, I fear something evil is about to happen, we must go now." Shadow leapt onto Talbit's back and the horse galloped towards the Fords of Osgiliath. They reached them just as the sun set.
"Halt! Who are you and what is your errand?"
"My name is Shadow and I ride to the aid of the King of Gondor," Shadow said quickly, eager to reach the army. "Now let me pass."
The guard tightened his grip on his spear shaft. He had his orders, and he did not like the look of this Elf. "The Fords are to remain closed until the King returns," the guard said firmly. "You shall have to find another way."
"Another way?" Shadow snapped, her anger getting the better of her. "I must reach the army and there is no other way! Now let me pass."
The guard eyed her warily. "No one will pass, I say again, find another way."
Shadow's eyes flashed angrily, but she could do nothing. "Please, I beg of you, let me pass," she said more calmly.
"For the last time, no," the guard said angrily. "Now leave this place."
"I could charge the gates," Talbit offered.
Shadow shook her head. "We have no choice, Talbit, we must go."
Talbit snorted and eyed the guard thoughtfully, then his gaze drifted to the river. "Can you swim?"
Shadow looked down at him, startled. "What?"
"Well, I suppose it doesn't matter, just cling to my neck." With that the horse turned and galloped towards the river, the guards of Osgiliath shouting after them in surprise. Shadow gasped as Talbit plunged into the icy water, the powerful horse slowly making his way across the river. Shadow closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Talbit's neck, hoping they would not be swept away. Suddenly she felt Talbit's hooves strike something hard, and opening her eyes she found that they had reached the West bank. Talbit had swum across the Anduin.
Slipping from Talbit's back, Shadow leaned against him, water dripping from her and a chill wind making her shiver slightly. "You foolish horse! What were you thinking? You could have gotten us killed!" Shadow laughed.
"We got across the river didn't we?" Talbit snorted, trying to catch his breath.
Shadow turned slightly and saw the guards running towards them. "Oh great," she muttered. "We better go, Talbit."
Talbit gave another snort. "You're not serious."
Before she could answer, the guards reached them. "That was incredible!" one of them, a mere boy, cried, his eyes wide. "No horse can do that!"
"Hush!" rebuked an older guard. "You are right, no horse can do that. But I do not doubt a creature of the Enemy could."
Shadow's eyes glinted angrily, and Talbit lifted his head with a harsh neigh. "We are not in league with the Enemy, nor is Talbit a creature of Sauron's. If you are implying otherwise you are sorely mistaken."
The guard's eyes narrowed and his hand strayed towards his sword. "Am I, Shadow? You seem rather suspicious to me. And how do you explain the blade that you carry? It is Gondorian, or I am a toad."
"You are a toad anyway, but it is a Gondorian blade," Shadow said with a sly smile. "A friend gave it to me."
"Who would befriend you?" the guard spat. "I thought Elves were polite and noble, but you are a worthless brat!"
Her anger threatening to spill over, Shadow clenched her teeth and growled, "I suppose I am just a worthless brat. You see, I am not a normal Elf, in fact I am not even sure I am an Elf anymore. But I suppose even a brat can teach you some manners!"
With a snarl the guard drew his sword and leapt at her and Shadow faced him eagerly, sword drawn. Their blades met with a fierce clash, and though it had been years since Shadow had fought, her hands quickly remembered their skill. But the guard was skilled as well. Neither was gaining any ground, and it did not look like it would end soon.
What am I doing? Shadow thought angrily. Why am I fighting him? And why did I say those things? Of course I am an Elf! And I should know better than to act like this!
With this realization Shadow stepped back and lowered her sword. But the guard was to angry to notice. He thought she was tiring and took the opportunity to strike. Shadow would have died then, if someone had not leapt from the shadows and thrown the guard to the ground.
Shadow turned to her savior and nearly fainted when she saw who it was - Luingil.
"Aiwë, what are you doing?" her brother asked angrily.
Shadow bowed her head, the sword dropping from her hand. Luingil turned and helped the stunned guard to his feet.
"And I would like to hear your explanation as well," the Elf growled.
The guard shrank back, for he had seen Luingil ride through at the head of the army with the King two days ago. "She started it!" he said, pointing a shaky finger at Shadow. "She insulted me and defied our orders!"
Shadow lifted her head, eyes ablaze again. "I believe it was you who started the insults," she said coldly. "And as for defying your orders, you told me the Fords were closed and I was to find another way around. So I did."
The guard had no reply and stood glaring at Shadow. Luingil looked between the two opponents and sighed. "Aiwë, you have no excuse for what you did, nor do you sir. I do not doubt she provoked you, but you still have no excuse. And Aiwë, how could you do this?"
"Shadow," she said quietly.
"What?" Luingil asked, startled.
"My name is Shadow," she said, head bowed.
"Gwath, what are you -" suddenly he stopped, a pained look on his face. "Guards, return to your duties, I will take care of her."
The guards obeyed reluctantly and went back to the Fords, leaving the Elves alone. Talbit nuzzled Shadow and she hugged him gratefully. When the guards were out of hearing range, Luingil turned to his sister.
"Aiwë, what is going on?" he asked anxiously.
"I told you my name is Shadow!" she said, her face buried in Talbit's mane.
Luingil turned her to face him, and was surprised to see she was crying. "Ai - Shadow, what has happened to you?"
"I have failed Legolas and I have failed you," she sobbed. "I ran away and hid in Minas Tirith, trying to be something I am not. Then I went to the Firien Wood and I thought I had become myself once again, but I was wrong. I am still a failure."
Luingil wrapped his arms around his sister and hugged her tightly. "You have not failed me," he said quietly. "I am very proud of you. You have been through much and still remained strong. But you are allowing your emotions to control you instead of learning to control them. One cannot turn their back on what they once were, nor can they always go back to what they were."
"But what about Legolas?" she whispered. "I almost lost faith in him. Will he still love me?"
Shadow was surprised when Luingil began to laugh. "Will he still love you? What kind of a question is that?" he laughed. "Of course he still loves you! Do you know he went back to Dol Guldur just to find out if you were alive? And he would not leave until he had found proof you had escaped."
Shadow's eyes widened. "He.. what?"
"He knows you are alive, and he wants more than anything to see you again," Luingil said with a kind smile.
Shadow sniffed and wiped her eyes. "But... I am not Aiwë anymore."
"And you are not Shadow," Luingil said gently. "You cannot go back to they way you were, nor can you stay the way you are now. You are not meant to be Shadow."
"You mean I must find another name?" Shadow asked with a half-hearted laugh.
"I suppose so," Luingil replied with a sympathetic smile.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
"Talbit swam across the Anduin?!"
Shadow smiled at her brother's surprise. "Yes, I was quite shocked myself. He is as stubborn as I am."
"Now that is an impossible feat," Talbit laughed.
Shadow smiled and pushed her friend playfully. They had left the Fords and begun to travel upstream, walking slowly for Talbit's sake. Luingil had given Shadow his cloak, and she was much warmer. As they walked she told him all that had happen since the Emyn Muil and he listened with quiet sympathy. When she had finished, he put a kind arm about her shoulders.
"It is no wonder you changed so much," he mused. "But not necessarily in a bad way!" he added quickly. "You are wiser, though your wisdom came at a price."
"So what shall I be called now, Sael*?" she laughed.
Luingil grinned and shook his head. "No, I think Sorie had the right idea - Star-daughter."
Shadow smiled. "But it is a bit long, do you not think so?
"We can call you Star for short," he said impudently. "But I am afraid we must now turn our thoughts to more serious things. Before tomorrow is very old a battle will be fought at the very gates of Mordor. I do not doubt Talbit can get us there in time to fight, but do you wish to go to the battle?"
Shadow bit her lip and glanced at Talbit. "It is up to you, Star-daughter," the mountain horse said quietly.
Shadow closed her eyes, memories rushing back to her. When she opened her eyes they danced with mischief. "I believe I have a score to settle with the Orcs," she said with a sly smile. "Besides, I have not been in a good battle in a long time."
Luingil smiled and shook his head. "Only you could make light of a battle."
"Call it a gift," she laughed. "Come, we should get a bit of rest before we carry on."
The three friends lay down as the moon began to sink behind the hills. Before they fell asleep, Shadow spoke. "One more thing - from now on, just call me Star."
* Sael - 'wise' in Sindarin... I couldn't find 'wisdom.'
**holds out cookie plate** What did you think? Good, bad, confusing, terrible, should I change it? The characters keep throwing things at me and I don't what to do! Please tell me what you think! Liked/Hated/Loved, suggestions, anything!