What Time Takes
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.
Authors note: A Sally P.O.V fic I did whilst getting over my writers block (more like chapter block) for my fic First To Fall. Serves me right for writing all the chapters in the wrong order.....
******
If I got up this morning expecting it to be just a regular day, then I couldn't have been more far from the truth. I went in search of coffee, and there I found him, routing in one of the kitchen cupboards. The medicine cupboard. He'd probably gone in there for some Aspirin, and boy did he need it. But he'd found something else other than painkillers, that was more than obvious. My secret was out. Damn.
He hit me - first time he's done that. I guess I should have seen it coming; he's been at the drink more often now, having a sneaky binge when he thinks I'm out of the house. Or simply propping up bars with his mates, as if his sole aim is to drain the whole of Colony L2 of it's alcohol. I suppose he's under this illusion that that's his purpose in life. And mine? He doesn't care about mine. Never has, if I'm brutally honest with myself.
As it turns out, I used to have a purpose - or at least I thought. It wasn't to marry him, I'm sure of that. So I carefully and cleverly talked him out of the idea, saying it would be better for his social life or something, if he was just my boyfriend and not my husband. More freedom - without all that commitment malarkey. I was younger then, and I should have had the sense to see I was worth more than that.
******
In reality, if he could fit a wedding ring round the neck of a bottle he'd have the perfect marriage in my opinion. That's why up until now, I've been 'living in sin'. That's what my parents used to call it - Mother was always rambling on about Mrs Fao's daughter and her affairs with the boy in the village. But that was in China. Faraway. This is L2. My mother always was such a gossip - I think that's what put me off the idea of being the 'typical' woman. You know the deal - kids and stuff.
"What's wrong with me?" Gary griped, brandishing the packet in front of my nose, "Why don't you want my kids?"
"Just leave it," I retorted. Him with his sickly skin and eyes blood-shot, bulging out like squids, didn't exactly make me want to look in his direction at that present moment. That was before he struck me across the face. He must have been out all hours to get himself in that state.
Gary desperately wanted kids. Because it was the 'thing to do' when you were bored with everything else. A nice son (who if he turned out like his father wouldn't amount to much but a drunkard). I always pretended I did too, just to keep the peace.
But I didn't. I never wanted to be a mother. It just didn't feel right. What with a flaky father? What chance would the kid have? Gary was a mucker, but I was used to him....I shouldn't have forgiven him so many times. I didn't like to be lonely. I just didn't want any hassle. Ideally, I needed his share in the finances. To crawl back to the Preventers would mean admitting defeat. And there was no way I was chancing being a single mother. No way.
So I did what any sensible woman would do and acquired contraceptive pills. I didn't particularly warm to the idea of the coil, and I Gary was probably too ignorant to notice either way. Of course I kept the pills carefully hidden - I usually concealed them in my drawers upstairs. It was like a military operation. But yesterday, I was in a rush for work and absentmindedly dumped the packet in the medicine cupboard. Typical.
He was so unfair to me. Expecting me to resort myself to being a momsy housewife. All I need now is a bunch of kids and there you have it: Sally Po the housewife. It's laughable. Seriously ridiculous. This morning, I felt like doing anything but laughing.
Gary's left me now. For good. I hope. He's really done it this time - punching me. He hurt I guess, but I've had much worse from soldiers. He knows not to mess with me - I'm no pushover. I quit the Preventers six years ago to start a new life with him. He was just the technician. I was the fighter. I didn't bother to strike him back (I didn't get half a chance either sprawled on the kitchen floor). I wouldn't touch him anyway, he's not worth the exertion.
"I'm leaving you," he snapped. He's said that before.
"I'll help you pack." I've said that before, too.
He knew I was being sarcastic. Did he honestly think I would seriously go fumbling around in his drawers, folding stuff up, giving him a nice send-off? Whatever. This time he isn't coming back, that's for sure. It's the last time I'll be nursing his rotten hangovers.
******
Yeah, yeah, okay I'm not going to avoid the subject. I know what you're probably thinking....how could someone as sensible as her end up with someone like that? Well I'll tell you. It's because I'm sensible. So sensible I don't even believe in falling in love. Not really.
Take Zechs and Noin for example - their relationship has always been so turbulent, even if they are together now, and as far as I know, planning a wedding. About time, too. But me - well I don't think there are such things as soul mates. Love, if you can call it that - is a long drawn-out process, rather like extracting a Gundam from the depths of the sea. Valentines cards, red roses (things Lady Une insisted upon or else a man wasn't worth her time of day), are all just part of the process. Love is so commercialised. Real life isn't like that. I know, I know, who do I sound like? I'll not get onto him...yet.
So when Gary, one of the technicians at the Preventers HQ asked me out, I thought I'd better start the 'love process'. I was twenty-one then; old enough to drink, drive, do just about anything under the law. I might was well start living. The Eve Wars were over, there wasn't much else to do but work as a Preventer.
I'd only just acquired a new Preventer partner since Noin ditched me for Zechs and Mars...But anyway, Gary was a nice enough guy, pretty good-looking, so why shouldn't I set up home with him, get a taste for life as a civilian. Une knew I was selling myself short - but what could she say? I am - I'll admit - terribly stubborn by nature.
I liked the idea at the time. 'The time' was 2:33, Thursday, October AC 197. I don't remember the exact time because I'm romantic or sentimental - it was only because at that moment, I had to break off my kiss with Gary on receiving a message that my Preventer partner had fractured his elbow. Poor kid.
Life as a civilian was okay I suppose. Different, but okay. But recently, Gary began to get bored. I was getting bored, too. He wanted kids to patch everything up. I still wouldn't marry him.
He started on the drink. I kicked him out a few times. It was MY house, after all. I bought it with my Preventer pay-out; Gary's wouldn't cover it. And I paid most of the bills. I work at the restaurant a few streets away. I don't tell anyone I used to be a Major with the Alliance. They'd curl up their lips and wrinkle their noses. Alliance, Oz are likened to swear words nowadays.
I don't mention I was a Preventer, either. People expect Preventers to take care of everything. They're respected. People would think I was a drop-out. And I am, I suppose. Hank's Diner, where I'm employed, didn't want to know my past, qualifications and whatnot. As long as I had hands, feet and a voice, I'd do. The folk there still don't know who I really am - that I assisted the Gundam pilots. Man, it seems like worlds away now.
Like I was saying, this morning, straight after Gary knocked me flying and packed his bags (by himself - may I add), I closed the door and heaved a huge sigh of....something. Happiness? No. Relief? Probably. I knew I wasn't falling soft this time - there's only so much compassion a woman can have. And no-one knocks Sally Po around. I mean it. No-one. I wasn't going to mope around all day feeling sorry for myself, either.
I'd spoken to Lucrezia Noin a few weeks before this incident. She was supposed to be visiting me today. Telling me the ins and outs of her engagement. 11o' clock she was coming, so I went and got dressed. I'd have to put on a brave face. I spent ample time in my bedroom mirror, daubing make-up over the red mark across my cheek. It'll bruise, I know that.
Noin never did like Gary. But I told her for someone who stayed loyal to Zechs Marquise after all his dodgy involvements, she had little room to talk. So she didn't anymore.
******
A half hour passed and I started to clear up a few dirty pots and pans in the kitchen, thinking how grotesque the wallpaper looked. Stained in places.
The doorbell rang (I hate the sound, it irritates your ears the same way the sound of shells firing do). I glanced in the mirror in the hall. Did I look happy enough? Like life was peachy? I smoothed a few wisps of sandy hair off my forehead. The last thing I wanted was Noin declaring she was right all along about Gary. I came to the conclusion I wasn't even going to tell her about Gary. He was....just out on a business trip. Business trip?! He's a garbage man for goodness sakes! Still, it could be true depending on how you look at it. Anyhow, he's sure taking a hike!
"Coming!" I yelled, tugging the door open. I had taken the keys from Gary when he left earlier. I never even locked up.
I put on a big, what I hoped was genuine smile, expecting my visitor to beam back and greet me.
He didn't.
Yeah, that's right - he. So much for Noin turning up. Huh. My face fell.
"Noin's...been assigned on a last-minute mission."
He must have read my thoughts. Or my face. To be honest, I didn't care about Noin's reasons anymore, I was gaping at the man in front of me. I must have looked such a dork to him - eyes bulging out, my mouth set in the typical surprised 'O'. It was him....my little Preventer partner....Wufei Chang. Or Chang Wufei. Whatever. It didn't matter. It was him...but it wasn't.
I always remembered him to have such a young looking face - smooth skin, hair slicked back painfully in a tight ponytail, an adorable pouting mouth. And a good deal shorter than me. He had been so dear to me. Wufei was the typical war-torn, self-loathing kid. He was my baby, my purpose in the two years I'd spent with him. But not anymore.
My eyes scanned over him as he was now, hardly able to comprehend the vision they held. He was tall, broad shouldered, hair shorter - still tied at the back but a with few wisps framing his face, which was now speckled with stubble. He was - as no-one could deny - extremely handsome.
I know just what you're going to think: I swooned like a schoolgirl and fell madly in love with him on the spot, right then and there. Well you're absolutely....wrong. So wrong. I was... horrified.
A look of concern flashed across his onyx eyes at that moment; "I've..I've got the right house, haven't I?"
He'd obviously noticed the bewildered, and utterly mortified expression I was holding. Didn't he recognise me? Well I suppose I did look a little unkempt in jeans and an old sweater, plus my hair was loose from my usual braids. But I didn't estimate I'd changed much in six years. Of course he recognised me - he was just being polite. Unusual for him. But I AM a woman and Wufei never was in the business of dealing with women and weaklings more than necessary.
"Sally Po..isn't it?"
"Yes...Wufei....I -"
" - Wasn't expecting me."
"Something like that." I gritted my teeth and refused to meet his gaze. He was a stranger to me.
"I just...uh...wanted to say hello."
Him?! Hello to me? Like he's ever wanted to give anybody a casual greeting. He's not like that. He's solitary, not sociable. At least that's how I remembered him.
"Uh - thanks. You'd...better come inside."
I wondered if he was studying that mark on my cheek. The make-up didn't serve too well in hiding it, I suspected. He probably guessed someone had hit me. But if he did, he didn't refer to it. It was my own fault, for being weak. I told him to sit down in my living room, and I tried to smile. I really tried. But I wanted to cry. I wanted to fling myself face-down on my bed - like neurotic women in movies do - and sob my heart out. Someone...time...had taken away my baby and replaced him with this...impostor.
*****
Anyhow, I sunk down in the chair opposite and struck up a conversation with him about the Preventers - boring stuff really. And he answered dutifully. I asked him why he'd never returned my letters, and he told me he didn't see the need after a year or so. I had Gary didn't I? I informed him Gary was out of the picture and I didn't wish to speak of him. Wufei's reasons for not replying were justified. Plus, the Preventer job required hard work, antisocial hours and mental discipline.
Apparently he'd stayed there as he needed a purpose -something to strive for - the current goal being peace. Wufei always was a doer. He needed to be. Talking to him, I checked I appeared light-hearted. And the whole time, I was staring at the man, loathing him. I wanted my Wufei, my little Wufei back.
"I got your address from Noin - seeing as she couldn't make it, I thought I might stop by," he informed me.
Man, his voice sounded so....different. Deeper. Actually quite alluring. But I made myself hate it. He wasn't Wufei. He wasn't my baby.
"That's nice," I answered, trying to inject some cheeriness into my voice. Mission failed. I sounded as if I'd just been told I'd a week to live.
He's not dumb. He could tell I was being standoffish. What did he expect anyway? To turn up on my doorstep with all his brawn, and for me to fall into his arms and say: 'Gary was a mistake...I love you....let's get married and get a nice house in China with three kids and a pet panda'?
Like I said, he's no fool so he probably didn't think that anyway. Wufei's way too reserved for that kind of ridiculous drama.
Still, looking at him, I could tell he was questioning me with those intense jet eyes. At least they'd stayed the same. Except they seemed a little more lustrous than I'd remembered.
Despite my bizarre reaction, I didn't like to think my demeanour was making him squirm. It probably wasn't, Wufei was never affected by things on that level. Women concerned themselves with petty issues such as that. But even so, why was he looking at me like that? As if he was astonished, fascinated and miserable all at once. That was only through his eyes, though; his face and body language appeared to be composed.
I realised I wanted him to look distressed, complain about how there was no justice in the world, and then we could have a nice little chat about justice. I could teach him things, lick his wounds. I could hold him in my arms and rock him like a child - do all the 'heal your heart' stuff. He could say something of a chauvinistic nature and I could chide him with an amused smirk. The way I used to. I could mother him, take care of him, promise to hold his hand in life. And he could need me. But the reality is, he doesn't need me. This Wufei doesn't need any guidance. Time had healed his wounds, leaving only the ugly scar of war. Time, not me. Everything I'd ever said counted for nothing in the long-run. I felt betrayed. How I hated him.
'Sally Po!' I screamed at myself. 'You used to say how you wanted to heal him - but now you wish to keep his wounds open. You want him to be miserable, and vulnerable. Just so you can feel strong.' I felt disgusted with myself. But still....I yearned for my baby. I wanted to calm his nightmares and kiss his eyelids.
His stomach grumbled. I heard it clearly.
"Oh...hungry huh?" I forced a watery smile, trying to sound as patronising as I could manage. I wanted him to be rude to me, display that childish arrogant scowl I adored. He simply shifted his position on the couch.
"Yeah. Just a little. I didn't eat on the shuttle here."
"I've not really got anything worth eating in the fridge..."
He looked apologetic; "I'm sorry for putting you out, Sally."
Was this Quatre speaking? And Sally? What happened to Woman?
"Call me Woman....." the words were off my lips before I had chance to realise how ridiculous they sounded.
His brow furrowed. "Woman," he answered. He probably thought it was a joke or something. I laughed slightly, trying to make it appear that way.
I suddenly remembered Hank's Diner. We could go there to eat. It wasn't busy at this time. We had about an hour before the workmen came in for lunch as usual. "Let's eat out," I mumbled. He shrugged. He had his own cash.
"Okay."
*****
The two of us walked into the small restaurant, probably looking a curious sight - Wufei in his Preventer gear, taking confident, even strides - me with a 'hardly disguised' punch mark across my left cheek.
I sat down at the nearest table and let him go to the counter and order what he wanted. I wasn't in the mood for eating. I told him to get me an orange juice. I prefer coke but in this place, they mix it with water so it lasts a bit longer in stock - me included. It tastes foul.
"Hi Sally!" a big, booming voice bellowed. It was the owner, Hank himself. He was standing behind the counter, ruddy-faced with his bulbous nose.
"Good morning," I replied agreeably, just to be polite. I can't stand Hank - he's a sleazebag and he smells of stale sweat constantly.
"Who's this guy - you know him?" Hank chortled. "What happened to Gary? Out with the trash?"
He grinned and displayed his brown teeth.
"I'm just -," Wufei attempted to explain.
"I'd hold onto this one, Sally," Hank continued, oblivious to my scowl. "A Preventer- now that's something. And Chinese, too." He laughed, like that was anything to do with it.
"I'm not with him. He's just a kid," I replied, sourly.
Hank looked Wufei up and down, eying him with a befuddled frown. Kid? He must be at least twenty-three, twenty four at the most, he was thinking. I could tell. It made me uneasy. Though Wufei handled it with dignity, explaining we hadn't seen much of each other in a long while.
Inside I was humiliated and furious. Wufei couldn't possibly be more embarrassed than I was at this present moment. I felt like striding up to Hank and knocking that ugly nose of his clean out of joint. But I didn't. It would mean looking for a new job.
I thought Wufei might have displayed his hot-temper in reply to Hank's rude comments, yet he didn't really seem affected. Maybe it was because he saw Hank as a weakling. I found I was adopting Wufei's old thought processes as I couldn't see them in him anymore.
Wufei didn't eat much of his steak and fries. I just sipped my orange juice, trying not to look at him. We didn't really talk. I felt dreadful. Six years - of course he wouldn't be the same. Of course he wouldn't be my baby. I missed him like crazy.
He chewed ponderingly; "That guy seems to know you. Do you work here?"
The question caught me off guard. I quickly scanned the grimy restaurant. "No."
He probably didn't believe me. You couldn't fool Wufei.
"Sally, you should - "
" I know, I know. Have some integrity but - "
"I was just going to say you should relax a little. You seem a bit tense."
"I'm fine," I answered, finishing the last drop of my drink.
Wufei decided hastily he didn't want much more of the food. I didn't blame him for that - the food's horrible at Hank's Diner. I guessed I shouldn't have suggested going but at the time, it seemed logical.
******
We walked stiffly back to my place, he less formally than I. What a turn for the books! The silence was engulfing us. He kicked leaves obstructing his path. I must really have been hurting the youth - he'd always trusted and respected me. I hoped he'd think I was on my period or something. I didn't want him to guess I was miserable because he'd grown into a man. Because he wasn't the deranged little boy I could nurture anymore.
But I had to have someone to nurture. I hadn't seen anything of the other pilots since I left the Preventers, either. Only Duo once five years ago on a shopping trip with his house mate. He didn't notice me. I never saw them since, so I guessed they must have moved house, or colony. None of my business.
I didn't have a purpose if I couldn't care for someone. Heal someone. I tried for six long years to pretend I could. But I needed Wufei. I needed him to need me.
I had to invite him back inside. He'd come all that way on the shuttle - I couldn't just send him away. But I wanted to. I wanted to close the door on him and pretend I'd never seen him. So I could still picture him as a kid, the one who needed my wisdom and gentle words. The kid whose memories I held in my heart, those fond memories that I clung onto all those hopeless nights as Gary ground me down. Once, I'd had a purpose. Wufei was my child. I'd only known him for two years, maybe a little over, yet he'd left such an impression on me.
I loved him. I loved him so much. And now he didn't exist. From the moment I left the Preventers, I should have known I'd never see that boy again. I felt a sickening emptiness.
I sat on my couch - him opposite - and hung my head. Then it came, I couldn't hold it back. I cried. I mean it - broke down in tears right there in front of him. I must have looked pathetic. 'Stick-two-fingers-in-your-throat-and-gag' kind of pathetic. But I couldn't help myself. Here was Wufei, a few metres away, yet I was grieving for him. I felt bereaved. I never realised how much I missed his little ways, his misguided youthfulness. His arrogant comments and haughty little mannerisms. I'd lost him forever.
Before I knew it, my face had crumpled and more stinging tears were spilling down my cheeks. I bet I looked like one of those cartoons where they cry and the tears spurt out at all angles. Like I said, pathetic. He wouldn't understand that I was sad because he'd matured and changed, he wasn't my baby, my responsibility. How could I learn to love this man? This brute?
I wiped my cheeks furiously, embarrassed. Any make-up left to cover the punch mark was smeared away. There it was, purpling and ugly. And yet he still said nothing of it. Surely he must have noticed it. I continued crying - I just couldn't stop. I was mentally shrieking at myself to get a grip, get a life. But I couldn't. I didn't have a life anymore. Wufei was dead. Never to be raised again.
I was aware of him eventually crossing the room towards me. The cushions on the couch were sinking beside me as he sat down. Was he going to hug me, try to comfort me? I didn't think I'd have to concern myself with that - Wufei wasn't naturally affectionate. Aloof was more the word.
"You...all right?" he whispered. I guessed he'd never seen me cry before. I had always been so strong for him, for all the pilots. I was no wimp. At least I thought not. So why was I tantruming because time had turned a boy into a man?
I wanted to hold him right now, to assure him everything would be okay. That he didn't need to fight - or kill - or weep angry tears anymore. That his wife would be waiting for him in Heaven, that Treize had wanted to die that way. He was my baby, I wanted to cradle him against my breast, and soothe him, teach him and comfort him. Back and forth, back and forth, I was rocking. But he was holding me. In his big strong arms, with stray wisps of his ebony hair tickling my nose. His breath was soft against my cheek and his chest was warm and hard. Certainly no child.
******
"I miss you," I choked out eventually, trying to struggle out of his embrace. He held me firm. "What happened to you? What happened to the Wufei I once knew?"
Wasn't it obvious? I'd been a doctor. I'd studied anatomy.
"I guess he grew older," he answered vaguely.
"No kidding." I nearly laughed in spite of myself. As a man, he was gorgeous, so physically appealing, I had to admit.
"It was something I had to do by myself, Sally....Woman. I had to grow by myself."
"Because I left you."
"I'm glad you did in a way. Because now it feels as if I've matured on my own merit. I achieved it myself."
He was talking about his mental maturity, I figured. He'd always have his stormy past to contend with, but he seemed to have reached a point of acceptance through the eyes of an adult. By himself - that was Wufei all over. At least that hadn't changed. He stopped rocking me and I found I stopped trying to wriggle away from him.
"So why did you come back?" I asked, quietly.
"I missed you." He stated it plainly. He wasn't being sentimental; he was being truthful.
"Didn't like your new Preventer partner, huh?"
"Partner? I've had three since you. All male, though - and weak."
I almost grinned. Almost.
He twisted a strand of my hair around a finger.
"Three partners? Well you were only seventeen.... when I left..."
There was a lapse in conversation. "I had a crush on you," he admitted suddenly. "Back then. One of those teenage things." He laughed.
I wasn't as surprised as I thought I'd be on hearing this. "Probably just because there weren't many other women around," I offered an explanation, satisfied the tears were drying fast on my cheeks.
Maybe that's why he came back, I wondered - to see if he was still 'in love' with me. Six years apart and I was still his soul mate? No. The reason was because he missed me. Pure and simple. He told me that. And Wufei never tells lies. I decided it must have been a blow to him when I went off gallivanting with Gary.
This man - Wufei - was actually quite good company I decided, a little ruefully. I found I didn't despise him as much as I'd first thought. I could learn a few things about the 'dead' Wufei, my child, though him. Things I'd have never known otherwise.
We were quiet for a while; he was probably thinking how crazy I was. I was staring at the blue, floral carpet, my nose against his Adam's Apple. Horrible colour, I thought. It needed replacing - the carpet I meant. I needed a whole new pattern.
"Well," Wufei admitted then, with a slight sigh, "I'd better go catch a shuttle back to the HQ. I'll get a taxi to the port. Une wanted me back in time for my mission with Preventer Air - Airhead," he added with the typical Wufei smirk.
I suddenly realised I didn't quite want him to release his hold on me....somehow it felt...nice. Anyhow, dismissing the thought, I stood up and he took out his cell to call a cab.
In about ten minutes, the taxi driver honked his horn outside (always so impolite around here) and I followed Wufei to the door. Before I opened it for him, I took a second to gaze directly into his eyes for the first time. They were black, obsidian - and they shone with a new brilliance. I liked it, I decided. He looked a little nervous for a moment. Perhaps he thought he was making me uncomfortable. He'd come to my house and resorted me to tears. I suppose he felt bad. He reached for the door handle but I put a hand on his arm. I wanted to know something; "Who...who's Preventer Water?"
He relaxed and shrugged. "I am."
"Oh."
"I wanted your name. You were my idol. Kind of. I looked up to you."
Was I flattered? At least now he could see me for who I really am. Just a person - with weaknesses - and tears - just like everyone else.
"And now?" I pressed a little closer, dizzy in his lustrous eyes.
He stepped forward and I took my hand off his arm. He was daring - I could have slapped him for what he did next....he leant forward and for a brief moment, his lips brushed against mine . I wasn't angry, I found. Not at all. Surprisingly not. I moved my arms up and cradled the back of his head, as he slowly wrapped his arms around the small of my back. Not tightly, but enough for me to know he was holding me.
For a fleeting second, I thought love, soul mates - all that garbage - might just be real. If I dared to believe. I closed my eyes and tried to envision how his lips looked, warm, and pressed against mine. We didn't do one of those sloppy, drawn-out passionate kisses shown on slushy movies; we just held onto each other for a brief moment before we broke away and he reached for the door. That was all we needed.
"Now I have to go," he said reluctantly. "Airhead won't start a mission without me."
I nodded. "Visit me again, won't you, Wufei?"
"Yes, Woman." He smiled and I could see him clearly. I could see the boy. My baby, the someone who had smiled at me at the rebel camp aged just fifteen. He was Wufei - he hadn't died. He was alive. He'd found a hold on life.
He left quickly for his shuttle, though I got the impression he'd have stayed the year if he could have. Stayed for life. Whenever he comes back, it'll be in his own time. Wufei likes to do things his way. I closed the door behind him and for once, I felt a strange notion sweep over me. I felt content.
When I looked back on the day, I know distinctly he isn't my baby anymore. I try to think of it like the sea I used to search for Gundams in - it washes things away. The water has washed away those small child footprints in my heart - the ones that followed mine.
The sand left is empty, clear, for his larger ones to imprint it. And for mine too - not to trail in front - but beside his. To share a purpose. The sands of time have taken that child away from me, and left something new in it's place. What it is is yet to be discovered. But I will discover. I loved him once, I can love him again.
The End
Authors note: Well I guess sometimes it's seen as a foregone conclusion that Sally would accept Wufei growing older, but I just felt like exploring a little into how the situation might be if she didn't like it. What did you think??
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.
Authors note: A Sally P.O.V fic I did whilst getting over my writers block (more like chapter block) for my fic First To Fall. Serves me right for writing all the chapters in the wrong order.....
******
If I got up this morning expecting it to be just a regular day, then I couldn't have been more far from the truth. I went in search of coffee, and there I found him, routing in one of the kitchen cupboards. The medicine cupboard. He'd probably gone in there for some Aspirin, and boy did he need it. But he'd found something else other than painkillers, that was more than obvious. My secret was out. Damn.
He hit me - first time he's done that. I guess I should have seen it coming; he's been at the drink more often now, having a sneaky binge when he thinks I'm out of the house. Or simply propping up bars with his mates, as if his sole aim is to drain the whole of Colony L2 of it's alcohol. I suppose he's under this illusion that that's his purpose in life. And mine? He doesn't care about mine. Never has, if I'm brutally honest with myself.
As it turns out, I used to have a purpose - or at least I thought. It wasn't to marry him, I'm sure of that. So I carefully and cleverly talked him out of the idea, saying it would be better for his social life or something, if he was just my boyfriend and not my husband. More freedom - without all that commitment malarkey. I was younger then, and I should have had the sense to see I was worth more than that.
******
In reality, if he could fit a wedding ring round the neck of a bottle he'd have the perfect marriage in my opinion. That's why up until now, I've been 'living in sin'. That's what my parents used to call it - Mother was always rambling on about Mrs Fao's daughter and her affairs with the boy in the village. But that was in China. Faraway. This is L2. My mother always was such a gossip - I think that's what put me off the idea of being the 'typical' woman. You know the deal - kids and stuff.
"What's wrong with me?" Gary griped, brandishing the packet in front of my nose, "Why don't you want my kids?"
"Just leave it," I retorted. Him with his sickly skin and eyes blood-shot, bulging out like squids, didn't exactly make me want to look in his direction at that present moment. That was before he struck me across the face. He must have been out all hours to get himself in that state.
Gary desperately wanted kids. Because it was the 'thing to do' when you were bored with everything else. A nice son (who if he turned out like his father wouldn't amount to much but a drunkard). I always pretended I did too, just to keep the peace.
But I didn't. I never wanted to be a mother. It just didn't feel right. What with a flaky father? What chance would the kid have? Gary was a mucker, but I was used to him....I shouldn't have forgiven him so many times. I didn't like to be lonely. I just didn't want any hassle. Ideally, I needed his share in the finances. To crawl back to the Preventers would mean admitting defeat. And there was no way I was chancing being a single mother. No way.
So I did what any sensible woman would do and acquired contraceptive pills. I didn't particularly warm to the idea of the coil, and I Gary was probably too ignorant to notice either way. Of course I kept the pills carefully hidden - I usually concealed them in my drawers upstairs. It was like a military operation. But yesterday, I was in a rush for work and absentmindedly dumped the packet in the medicine cupboard. Typical.
He was so unfair to me. Expecting me to resort myself to being a momsy housewife. All I need now is a bunch of kids and there you have it: Sally Po the housewife. It's laughable. Seriously ridiculous. This morning, I felt like doing anything but laughing.
Gary's left me now. For good. I hope. He's really done it this time - punching me. He hurt I guess, but I've had much worse from soldiers. He knows not to mess with me - I'm no pushover. I quit the Preventers six years ago to start a new life with him. He was just the technician. I was the fighter. I didn't bother to strike him back (I didn't get half a chance either sprawled on the kitchen floor). I wouldn't touch him anyway, he's not worth the exertion.
"I'm leaving you," he snapped. He's said that before.
"I'll help you pack." I've said that before, too.
He knew I was being sarcastic. Did he honestly think I would seriously go fumbling around in his drawers, folding stuff up, giving him a nice send-off? Whatever. This time he isn't coming back, that's for sure. It's the last time I'll be nursing his rotten hangovers.
******
Yeah, yeah, okay I'm not going to avoid the subject. I know what you're probably thinking....how could someone as sensible as her end up with someone like that? Well I'll tell you. It's because I'm sensible. So sensible I don't even believe in falling in love. Not really.
Take Zechs and Noin for example - their relationship has always been so turbulent, even if they are together now, and as far as I know, planning a wedding. About time, too. But me - well I don't think there are such things as soul mates. Love, if you can call it that - is a long drawn-out process, rather like extracting a Gundam from the depths of the sea. Valentines cards, red roses (things Lady Une insisted upon or else a man wasn't worth her time of day), are all just part of the process. Love is so commercialised. Real life isn't like that. I know, I know, who do I sound like? I'll not get onto him...yet.
So when Gary, one of the technicians at the Preventers HQ asked me out, I thought I'd better start the 'love process'. I was twenty-one then; old enough to drink, drive, do just about anything under the law. I might was well start living. The Eve Wars were over, there wasn't much else to do but work as a Preventer.
I'd only just acquired a new Preventer partner since Noin ditched me for Zechs and Mars...But anyway, Gary was a nice enough guy, pretty good-looking, so why shouldn't I set up home with him, get a taste for life as a civilian. Une knew I was selling myself short - but what could she say? I am - I'll admit - terribly stubborn by nature.
I liked the idea at the time. 'The time' was 2:33, Thursday, October AC 197. I don't remember the exact time because I'm romantic or sentimental - it was only because at that moment, I had to break off my kiss with Gary on receiving a message that my Preventer partner had fractured his elbow. Poor kid.
Life as a civilian was okay I suppose. Different, but okay. But recently, Gary began to get bored. I was getting bored, too. He wanted kids to patch everything up. I still wouldn't marry him.
He started on the drink. I kicked him out a few times. It was MY house, after all. I bought it with my Preventer pay-out; Gary's wouldn't cover it. And I paid most of the bills. I work at the restaurant a few streets away. I don't tell anyone I used to be a Major with the Alliance. They'd curl up their lips and wrinkle their noses. Alliance, Oz are likened to swear words nowadays.
I don't mention I was a Preventer, either. People expect Preventers to take care of everything. They're respected. People would think I was a drop-out. And I am, I suppose. Hank's Diner, where I'm employed, didn't want to know my past, qualifications and whatnot. As long as I had hands, feet and a voice, I'd do. The folk there still don't know who I really am - that I assisted the Gundam pilots. Man, it seems like worlds away now.
Like I was saying, this morning, straight after Gary knocked me flying and packed his bags (by himself - may I add), I closed the door and heaved a huge sigh of....something. Happiness? No. Relief? Probably. I knew I wasn't falling soft this time - there's only so much compassion a woman can have. And no-one knocks Sally Po around. I mean it. No-one. I wasn't going to mope around all day feeling sorry for myself, either.
I'd spoken to Lucrezia Noin a few weeks before this incident. She was supposed to be visiting me today. Telling me the ins and outs of her engagement. 11o' clock she was coming, so I went and got dressed. I'd have to put on a brave face. I spent ample time in my bedroom mirror, daubing make-up over the red mark across my cheek. It'll bruise, I know that.
Noin never did like Gary. But I told her for someone who stayed loyal to Zechs Marquise after all his dodgy involvements, she had little room to talk. So she didn't anymore.
******
A half hour passed and I started to clear up a few dirty pots and pans in the kitchen, thinking how grotesque the wallpaper looked. Stained in places.
The doorbell rang (I hate the sound, it irritates your ears the same way the sound of shells firing do). I glanced in the mirror in the hall. Did I look happy enough? Like life was peachy? I smoothed a few wisps of sandy hair off my forehead. The last thing I wanted was Noin declaring she was right all along about Gary. I came to the conclusion I wasn't even going to tell her about Gary. He was....just out on a business trip. Business trip?! He's a garbage man for goodness sakes! Still, it could be true depending on how you look at it. Anyhow, he's sure taking a hike!
"Coming!" I yelled, tugging the door open. I had taken the keys from Gary when he left earlier. I never even locked up.
I put on a big, what I hoped was genuine smile, expecting my visitor to beam back and greet me.
He didn't.
Yeah, that's right - he. So much for Noin turning up. Huh. My face fell.
"Noin's...been assigned on a last-minute mission."
He must have read my thoughts. Or my face. To be honest, I didn't care about Noin's reasons anymore, I was gaping at the man in front of me. I must have looked such a dork to him - eyes bulging out, my mouth set in the typical surprised 'O'. It was him....my little Preventer partner....Wufei Chang. Or Chang Wufei. Whatever. It didn't matter. It was him...but it wasn't.
I always remembered him to have such a young looking face - smooth skin, hair slicked back painfully in a tight ponytail, an adorable pouting mouth. And a good deal shorter than me. He had been so dear to me. Wufei was the typical war-torn, self-loathing kid. He was my baby, my purpose in the two years I'd spent with him. But not anymore.
My eyes scanned over him as he was now, hardly able to comprehend the vision they held. He was tall, broad shouldered, hair shorter - still tied at the back but a with few wisps framing his face, which was now speckled with stubble. He was - as no-one could deny - extremely handsome.
I know just what you're going to think: I swooned like a schoolgirl and fell madly in love with him on the spot, right then and there. Well you're absolutely....wrong. So wrong. I was... horrified.
A look of concern flashed across his onyx eyes at that moment; "I've..I've got the right house, haven't I?"
He'd obviously noticed the bewildered, and utterly mortified expression I was holding. Didn't he recognise me? Well I suppose I did look a little unkempt in jeans and an old sweater, plus my hair was loose from my usual braids. But I didn't estimate I'd changed much in six years. Of course he recognised me - he was just being polite. Unusual for him. But I AM a woman and Wufei never was in the business of dealing with women and weaklings more than necessary.
"Sally Po..isn't it?"
"Yes...Wufei....I -"
" - Wasn't expecting me."
"Something like that." I gritted my teeth and refused to meet his gaze. He was a stranger to me.
"I just...uh...wanted to say hello."
Him?! Hello to me? Like he's ever wanted to give anybody a casual greeting. He's not like that. He's solitary, not sociable. At least that's how I remembered him.
"Uh - thanks. You'd...better come inside."
I wondered if he was studying that mark on my cheek. The make-up didn't serve too well in hiding it, I suspected. He probably guessed someone had hit me. But if he did, he didn't refer to it. It was my own fault, for being weak. I told him to sit down in my living room, and I tried to smile. I really tried. But I wanted to cry. I wanted to fling myself face-down on my bed - like neurotic women in movies do - and sob my heart out. Someone...time...had taken away my baby and replaced him with this...impostor.
*****
Anyhow, I sunk down in the chair opposite and struck up a conversation with him about the Preventers - boring stuff really. And he answered dutifully. I asked him why he'd never returned my letters, and he told me he didn't see the need after a year or so. I had Gary didn't I? I informed him Gary was out of the picture and I didn't wish to speak of him. Wufei's reasons for not replying were justified. Plus, the Preventer job required hard work, antisocial hours and mental discipline.
Apparently he'd stayed there as he needed a purpose -something to strive for - the current goal being peace. Wufei always was a doer. He needed to be. Talking to him, I checked I appeared light-hearted. And the whole time, I was staring at the man, loathing him. I wanted my Wufei, my little Wufei back.
"I got your address from Noin - seeing as she couldn't make it, I thought I might stop by," he informed me.
Man, his voice sounded so....different. Deeper. Actually quite alluring. But I made myself hate it. He wasn't Wufei. He wasn't my baby.
"That's nice," I answered, trying to inject some cheeriness into my voice. Mission failed. I sounded as if I'd just been told I'd a week to live.
He's not dumb. He could tell I was being standoffish. What did he expect anyway? To turn up on my doorstep with all his brawn, and for me to fall into his arms and say: 'Gary was a mistake...I love you....let's get married and get a nice house in China with three kids and a pet panda'?
Like I said, he's no fool so he probably didn't think that anyway. Wufei's way too reserved for that kind of ridiculous drama.
Still, looking at him, I could tell he was questioning me with those intense jet eyes. At least they'd stayed the same. Except they seemed a little more lustrous than I'd remembered.
Despite my bizarre reaction, I didn't like to think my demeanour was making him squirm. It probably wasn't, Wufei was never affected by things on that level. Women concerned themselves with petty issues such as that. But even so, why was he looking at me like that? As if he was astonished, fascinated and miserable all at once. That was only through his eyes, though; his face and body language appeared to be composed.
I realised I wanted him to look distressed, complain about how there was no justice in the world, and then we could have a nice little chat about justice. I could teach him things, lick his wounds. I could hold him in my arms and rock him like a child - do all the 'heal your heart' stuff. He could say something of a chauvinistic nature and I could chide him with an amused smirk. The way I used to. I could mother him, take care of him, promise to hold his hand in life. And he could need me. But the reality is, he doesn't need me. This Wufei doesn't need any guidance. Time had healed his wounds, leaving only the ugly scar of war. Time, not me. Everything I'd ever said counted for nothing in the long-run. I felt betrayed. How I hated him.
'Sally Po!' I screamed at myself. 'You used to say how you wanted to heal him - but now you wish to keep his wounds open. You want him to be miserable, and vulnerable. Just so you can feel strong.' I felt disgusted with myself. But still....I yearned for my baby. I wanted to calm his nightmares and kiss his eyelids.
His stomach grumbled. I heard it clearly.
"Oh...hungry huh?" I forced a watery smile, trying to sound as patronising as I could manage. I wanted him to be rude to me, display that childish arrogant scowl I adored. He simply shifted his position on the couch.
"Yeah. Just a little. I didn't eat on the shuttle here."
"I've not really got anything worth eating in the fridge..."
He looked apologetic; "I'm sorry for putting you out, Sally."
Was this Quatre speaking? And Sally? What happened to Woman?
"Call me Woman....." the words were off my lips before I had chance to realise how ridiculous they sounded.
His brow furrowed. "Woman," he answered. He probably thought it was a joke or something. I laughed slightly, trying to make it appear that way.
I suddenly remembered Hank's Diner. We could go there to eat. It wasn't busy at this time. We had about an hour before the workmen came in for lunch as usual. "Let's eat out," I mumbled. He shrugged. He had his own cash.
"Okay."
*****
The two of us walked into the small restaurant, probably looking a curious sight - Wufei in his Preventer gear, taking confident, even strides - me with a 'hardly disguised' punch mark across my left cheek.
I sat down at the nearest table and let him go to the counter and order what he wanted. I wasn't in the mood for eating. I told him to get me an orange juice. I prefer coke but in this place, they mix it with water so it lasts a bit longer in stock - me included. It tastes foul.
"Hi Sally!" a big, booming voice bellowed. It was the owner, Hank himself. He was standing behind the counter, ruddy-faced with his bulbous nose.
"Good morning," I replied agreeably, just to be polite. I can't stand Hank - he's a sleazebag and he smells of stale sweat constantly.
"Who's this guy - you know him?" Hank chortled. "What happened to Gary? Out with the trash?"
He grinned and displayed his brown teeth.
"I'm just -," Wufei attempted to explain.
"I'd hold onto this one, Sally," Hank continued, oblivious to my scowl. "A Preventer- now that's something. And Chinese, too." He laughed, like that was anything to do with it.
"I'm not with him. He's just a kid," I replied, sourly.
Hank looked Wufei up and down, eying him with a befuddled frown. Kid? He must be at least twenty-three, twenty four at the most, he was thinking. I could tell. It made me uneasy. Though Wufei handled it with dignity, explaining we hadn't seen much of each other in a long while.
Inside I was humiliated and furious. Wufei couldn't possibly be more embarrassed than I was at this present moment. I felt like striding up to Hank and knocking that ugly nose of his clean out of joint. But I didn't. It would mean looking for a new job.
I thought Wufei might have displayed his hot-temper in reply to Hank's rude comments, yet he didn't really seem affected. Maybe it was because he saw Hank as a weakling. I found I was adopting Wufei's old thought processes as I couldn't see them in him anymore.
Wufei didn't eat much of his steak and fries. I just sipped my orange juice, trying not to look at him. We didn't really talk. I felt dreadful. Six years - of course he wouldn't be the same. Of course he wouldn't be my baby. I missed him like crazy.
He chewed ponderingly; "That guy seems to know you. Do you work here?"
The question caught me off guard. I quickly scanned the grimy restaurant. "No."
He probably didn't believe me. You couldn't fool Wufei.
"Sally, you should - "
" I know, I know. Have some integrity but - "
"I was just going to say you should relax a little. You seem a bit tense."
"I'm fine," I answered, finishing the last drop of my drink.
Wufei decided hastily he didn't want much more of the food. I didn't blame him for that - the food's horrible at Hank's Diner. I guessed I shouldn't have suggested going but at the time, it seemed logical.
******
We walked stiffly back to my place, he less formally than I. What a turn for the books! The silence was engulfing us. He kicked leaves obstructing his path. I must really have been hurting the youth - he'd always trusted and respected me. I hoped he'd think I was on my period or something. I didn't want him to guess I was miserable because he'd grown into a man. Because he wasn't the deranged little boy I could nurture anymore.
But I had to have someone to nurture. I hadn't seen anything of the other pilots since I left the Preventers, either. Only Duo once five years ago on a shopping trip with his house mate. He didn't notice me. I never saw them since, so I guessed they must have moved house, or colony. None of my business.
I didn't have a purpose if I couldn't care for someone. Heal someone. I tried for six long years to pretend I could. But I needed Wufei. I needed him to need me.
I had to invite him back inside. He'd come all that way on the shuttle - I couldn't just send him away. But I wanted to. I wanted to close the door on him and pretend I'd never seen him. So I could still picture him as a kid, the one who needed my wisdom and gentle words. The kid whose memories I held in my heart, those fond memories that I clung onto all those hopeless nights as Gary ground me down. Once, I'd had a purpose. Wufei was my child. I'd only known him for two years, maybe a little over, yet he'd left such an impression on me.
I loved him. I loved him so much. And now he didn't exist. From the moment I left the Preventers, I should have known I'd never see that boy again. I felt a sickening emptiness.
I sat on my couch - him opposite - and hung my head. Then it came, I couldn't hold it back. I cried. I mean it - broke down in tears right there in front of him. I must have looked pathetic. 'Stick-two-fingers-in-your-throat-and-gag' kind of pathetic. But I couldn't help myself. Here was Wufei, a few metres away, yet I was grieving for him. I felt bereaved. I never realised how much I missed his little ways, his misguided youthfulness. His arrogant comments and haughty little mannerisms. I'd lost him forever.
Before I knew it, my face had crumpled and more stinging tears were spilling down my cheeks. I bet I looked like one of those cartoons where they cry and the tears spurt out at all angles. Like I said, pathetic. He wouldn't understand that I was sad because he'd matured and changed, he wasn't my baby, my responsibility. How could I learn to love this man? This brute?
I wiped my cheeks furiously, embarrassed. Any make-up left to cover the punch mark was smeared away. There it was, purpling and ugly. And yet he still said nothing of it. Surely he must have noticed it. I continued crying - I just couldn't stop. I was mentally shrieking at myself to get a grip, get a life. But I couldn't. I didn't have a life anymore. Wufei was dead. Never to be raised again.
I was aware of him eventually crossing the room towards me. The cushions on the couch were sinking beside me as he sat down. Was he going to hug me, try to comfort me? I didn't think I'd have to concern myself with that - Wufei wasn't naturally affectionate. Aloof was more the word.
"You...all right?" he whispered. I guessed he'd never seen me cry before. I had always been so strong for him, for all the pilots. I was no wimp. At least I thought not. So why was I tantruming because time had turned a boy into a man?
I wanted to hold him right now, to assure him everything would be okay. That he didn't need to fight - or kill - or weep angry tears anymore. That his wife would be waiting for him in Heaven, that Treize had wanted to die that way. He was my baby, I wanted to cradle him against my breast, and soothe him, teach him and comfort him. Back and forth, back and forth, I was rocking. But he was holding me. In his big strong arms, with stray wisps of his ebony hair tickling my nose. His breath was soft against my cheek and his chest was warm and hard. Certainly no child.
******
"I miss you," I choked out eventually, trying to struggle out of his embrace. He held me firm. "What happened to you? What happened to the Wufei I once knew?"
Wasn't it obvious? I'd been a doctor. I'd studied anatomy.
"I guess he grew older," he answered vaguely.
"No kidding." I nearly laughed in spite of myself. As a man, he was gorgeous, so physically appealing, I had to admit.
"It was something I had to do by myself, Sally....Woman. I had to grow by myself."
"Because I left you."
"I'm glad you did in a way. Because now it feels as if I've matured on my own merit. I achieved it myself."
He was talking about his mental maturity, I figured. He'd always have his stormy past to contend with, but he seemed to have reached a point of acceptance through the eyes of an adult. By himself - that was Wufei all over. At least that hadn't changed. He stopped rocking me and I found I stopped trying to wriggle away from him.
"So why did you come back?" I asked, quietly.
"I missed you." He stated it plainly. He wasn't being sentimental; he was being truthful.
"Didn't like your new Preventer partner, huh?"
"Partner? I've had three since you. All male, though - and weak."
I almost grinned. Almost.
He twisted a strand of my hair around a finger.
"Three partners? Well you were only seventeen.... when I left..."
There was a lapse in conversation. "I had a crush on you," he admitted suddenly. "Back then. One of those teenage things." He laughed.
I wasn't as surprised as I thought I'd be on hearing this. "Probably just because there weren't many other women around," I offered an explanation, satisfied the tears were drying fast on my cheeks.
Maybe that's why he came back, I wondered - to see if he was still 'in love' with me. Six years apart and I was still his soul mate? No. The reason was because he missed me. Pure and simple. He told me that. And Wufei never tells lies. I decided it must have been a blow to him when I went off gallivanting with Gary.
This man - Wufei - was actually quite good company I decided, a little ruefully. I found I didn't despise him as much as I'd first thought. I could learn a few things about the 'dead' Wufei, my child, though him. Things I'd have never known otherwise.
We were quiet for a while; he was probably thinking how crazy I was. I was staring at the blue, floral carpet, my nose against his Adam's Apple. Horrible colour, I thought. It needed replacing - the carpet I meant. I needed a whole new pattern.
"Well," Wufei admitted then, with a slight sigh, "I'd better go catch a shuttle back to the HQ. I'll get a taxi to the port. Une wanted me back in time for my mission with Preventer Air - Airhead," he added with the typical Wufei smirk.
I suddenly realised I didn't quite want him to release his hold on me....somehow it felt...nice. Anyhow, dismissing the thought, I stood up and he took out his cell to call a cab.
In about ten minutes, the taxi driver honked his horn outside (always so impolite around here) and I followed Wufei to the door. Before I opened it for him, I took a second to gaze directly into his eyes for the first time. They were black, obsidian - and they shone with a new brilliance. I liked it, I decided. He looked a little nervous for a moment. Perhaps he thought he was making me uncomfortable. He'd come to my house and resorted me to tears. I suppose he felt bad. He reached for the door handle but I put a hand on his arm. I wanted to know something; "Who...who's Preventer Water?"
He relaxed and shrugged. "I am."
"Oh."
"I wanted your name. You were my idol. Kind of. I looked up to you."
Was I flattered? At least now he could see me for who I really am. Just a person - with weaknesses - and tears - just like everyone else.
"And now?" I pressed a little closer, dizzy in his lustrous eyes.
He stepped forward and I took my hand off his arm. He was daring - I could have slapped him for what he did next....he leant forward and for a brief moment, his lips brushed against mine . I wasn't angry, I found. Not at all. Surprisingly not. I moved my arms up and cradled the back of his head, as he slowly wrapped his arms around the small of my back. Not tightly, but enough for me to know he was holding me.
For a fleeting second, I thought love, soul mates - all that garbage - might just be real. If I dared to believe. I closed my eyes and tried to envision how his lips looked, warm, and pressed against mine. We didn't do one of those sloppy, drawn-out passionate kisses shown on slushy movies; we just held onto each other for a brief moment before we broke away and he reached for the door. That was all we needed.
"Now I have to go," he said reluctantly. "Airhead won't start a mission without me."
I nodded. "Visit me again, won't you, Wufei?"
"Yes, Woman." He smiled and I could see him clearly. I could see the boy. My baby, the someone who had smiled at me at the rebel camp aged just fifteen. He was Wufei - he hadn't died. He was alive. He'd found a hold on life.
He left quickly for his shuttle, though I got the impression he'd have stayed the year if he could have. Stayed for life. Whenever he comes back, it'll be in his own time. Wufei likes to do things his way. I closed the door behind him and for once, I felt a strange notion sweep over me. I felt content.
When I looked back on the day, I know distinctly he isn't my baby anymore. I try to think of it like the sea I used to search for Gundams in - it washes things away. The water has washed away those small child footprints in my heart - the ones that followed mine.
The sand left is empty, clear, for his larger ones to imprint it. And for mine too - not to trail in front - but beside his. To share a purpose. The sands of time have taken that child away from me, and left something new in it's place. What it is is yet to be discovered. But I will discover. I loved him once, I can love him again.
The End
Authors note: Well I guess sometimes it's seen as a foregone conclusion that Sally would accept Wufei growing older, but I just felt like exploring a little into how the situation might be if she didn't like it. What did you think??