Ureta Tsumi (A Ripened Sin)
Chapter Nine: Memoirs of the Past
By: NurikoLuver (Trudy Haley)
Author's Notes: Blargh blargh blargh. Damnit, I loved writing this chapter. I really don't know how it came out. @_@;; I realized that Rikku's brother *DID* have a name, but since no one on some FF message boards my boyfriend frequents knew the name, I just used Renuoige. ^^;; Not his real name. Hope you guys understand... ^^;; Now enjoy! And R/R! Thankies!
Everything happened so fast after that. Even now, Rikku had trouble remembering everything that had happened in the past couple of hours. She stared down at her sleeping cousin; if only she could fall asleep like that. Rikku wasn't sure if she could ever fall into such a peaceful sleep again. Even with her own eyes opened, his eyes still plagued her. With a befallen sigh, she watched as her cousin slept. Tidus gave Rikku a quizzical glance. Just by his facial expression, she knew what to tell him.
"I'm sure Yunie's fine. She's breathing all right and all. How are Lulu and Wakka?"
"Well, Wakka's in shock. Can't blame him, either. And Lulu, well...she's just the same as always," Tidus replied.
"She's so together. All grown up, I guess."
"I guess."
"Well, just give me five or six years." Rikku did want to be like Lulu: the brave, strong Black Mage, who always seemed to keep her cool. If only she could be that calm in situations like this...
Rikku watched as Tidus backed away to Kimhari. "So, Kimhari, how do we get out of here?"
"Don't change the subject!" Rikku protested.
"We climb," Kimhari replied.
"Kimhari, too!"
"Only those who try will become," Kimhari told her.
"Huh?" Rikku was lost again. Sometimes her attention digressed to something else when she had a lot on her mind. She had already forgotten what Kimhari just said.
"I think he means that you will have to work hard if you want to be like Lulu," Tidus explained.
"Oh! I will!"
"Kimhari think Rikku should stay Rikku."
"Hey!" Rikku approached Kimhari. "Are you saying I'll never be like Lulu? Kimhari!"
Tidus laughed. Atleast his laughter perked Rikku up a little bit. A little bit.
"How can you laugh at a time like this?" Wakka shouted.
Yuna stirred in her sleep, slowly opening an eye. "Yuna!" Tidus exclaimed.
Rikku only half-listened as the group decided that they were going to Bevelle. She had other things on her mind. Maybe not as important to everyone else, but still, important to her.
Was she really a traitor? Even if she felt as though she couldn't be a guardian, and she left, she would have no where to go. And...Seymour. Even hours later, his eyes still wound up in her mind. It took everything inside of her not to cry, and even now, her toes were scrunched up into her boots. Maybe that little pain could stop her from thinking about it. But no. Nothing seemed to work.
The only thing that managed to grab her attention was when the Fayth stopped singing, and soon afterwards, the ground began to rumble.
"SIN!?" Yuna shouted.
Rikku and Wakka gasped.
"The toxin! Watch out!" Lulu warned.
Lulu's words were the last things Rikku remembered hearing before plummeting into darkness.
When she woke up, she found herself in the warm, familiar sands of Bikanel Island. It felt strange, suddenly, to so painfully want to go back home, and suddenly be here. Now she regretted it. She didn't think she was ready to confront the rest of the Al Bhed, especially her brother. Boy, would she be hearing it from him when they met up at Home.
Suddenly, she felt a pinch of nostalgia.
Eight Years Ago...
"Rikku...why are you crying?"
"I...I'm not crying!" Rikku rubbed her tear-stained cheeks, so her brother couldn't see. She didn't want her brother to see her crying. She needed to show Renuoige she could be just as brave as him. Even braver.
"You're crying about Home, aren't you?" Renoige placed a hand on her shoulder.
"No, I'm not crying!" Rikku sniffled.
"It'll be okay. We'll all unite again. Dad will help the Al Bhed build a new nation, and there we will be safe, forever."
"Really?" Rikku wiped her nose with her hand. "Forever?"
Renoige nodded solemnly. "You know dad. In no time, we'll all be together again!"
"You sure?" Rikku was practical, even at such a young age.
"Yes, I'm sure."
Rikku grabbed a handful of sand and threw it out at the wind. She could only wonder where on Spira everyone else was. For all Yevon knew, Sin took them all to Bevelle and left her here. Rikku sighed, plopping her head down on the soft dune of sand. No use wandering around. If they were here, they would find her eventually. If they weren't here by nightfall, well, she'd head back Home.
Ten Years Ago...
"Daddy...Pihho and Candbahd have mommies," Rikku said, referring to her two best friends. "Where's my mommy? Is she on a trip somewhere?"
Cid cleared his throat. He had been expecting this for awhile, but still, not yet. The words he had previously rehearsed suddenly seemed too stiff, too scientific, too stupid for a child Rikku's age. He stumbled for words that Rikku would understand. He bent down to his daughter's height and smiled.
"Yes, mommy's far, far away in a place called the Farplane."
"The Farplane? When's mommy coming back?"
Cid shook his head. "Mommy's not coming back."
"How did mommy goto the farplane? Can I go, too?" Her blunt, innocent words almost sent tears to his eyes. ALMOST.
"No, you can't go see mommy. Mommy went to the Farplane when you were born. She died as you were born. So you must be a strong and brave girl, because your mommy went to the Farplane, so you could live."
Rikku nodded solemnly. "Mommy sounds like a nice person."
"She was..." Cid suddenly hugged his daughter. "She was the nicest person you could ever meet...I'm sure your mommy is so proud of her daughter, who is working so hard with her daddy..."
Rikku sighed at the memory. Even now, she still blamed herself. If she wasn't born, her mother would have lived. She wasn't even worth her mother's life. Not yet, atleast. She still wasn't strong. She still wasn't brave. She was still just...Rikku. Just the frightened little girl she was when she was seven...
Nine Years Ago...
"Renuoige! We shouldn't go out here without daddy!" Rikku stumbled after her brother, hopping over the rocks that blocked the path. She was clumbsy at that age, a trait that she never grew out of.
"Don't be a baby," Renuoige lectured. "If you never go out on your own, you'll never be independent."
"In..dependent?" Renuoige's twelve year-old vocabulary was too much for Rikku's seven year-old mind.
"Yeah, when you don't need anyone else's help," Renuoige said, hopping down from a rather large rock.
"Why didja make me come then?"
Renuoige was florid. "I don't need your help. You need MINE. I'm going to teach you all of life's lessons so that you're strong and smart when you grow up. That way you don't have to screw up on your own."
"Huh?" Rikku was lost.
"When you make mistakes, you learn from them. Don't make mistakes, and you have to learn those lessons from someone who has. Someone like ME."
"What do YOU know about the world? You're only twelve."
Renuoige scoffed at Rikku's words. "A lot more than you will ever know."
"Hmph!" Rikku pouted. "But if you teach me, then won't I be just as smart as you?"
"Weeeell," Renuoige mused. "Maybe, but I'll have to teach you quicker than I learn. And I'm pretty smart."
"So, if I learn from you, will I grow up to be as brave and strong as you?"
Renuoige laughed. "Maybe, sis, just MAYBE."
Renuoige. Suddenly she felt bad. Maybe betraying her brother wasn't the best idea. After all, he taught her damn near everything she knew. But maybe...maybe when she got Home, Renuoige would be there, and he'd listen to her. Renuoige would understand, once she told him what she was doing. That one meeting was so quick and unexpected that they couldn't exchange words the way they needed to.
Eight Years Ago...
"Um...mister..." Rikku began. "H...have you seen my friends? They have eyes just like me." Rikku chose her words carefully- she didn't want her search to be foiled by a Yevonite.
"Eyes like you, yah? Nope, kid, haven't seen 'em." He spun his blitzball on the tip of his index finger. "Hey, Lu, Wakka! Ya'll see any kids that look like this girl?"
They shook their heads. "Sorry, kid. Hope you find your friends."
Rikku heard someone approach her; she turned around hastily. Renu.
"They aren't here," Renuoige said bluntly.
"Will we EVER find them?"
"Eventually, yes."
"I want to find them. Pihho and Candbahd are my best friends..."
"We still haven't looked EVERYWHERE in Spira. We've only searched here and in Bevelle. And hey, we found Payn and his family," Renuoige said, referring to his best friend. "And lots of other Al Bhed. We'll find them, there's still lots of other places they can be."
"Besaid is a nice place...Maybe Home could be built here!"
Renuoige shook his head. "A nice place to visit, but not to live. You forget, we're Al Bhed."
"Yeah, but...it's not fair, you know. Why can't we build Home where ever we want?"
"Because we're Al Bhed," her brother told her.
"Why should that stop us?" Rikku asked.
"It's not the fact we're Al Bhed that stops us. It's everyone else."
"Everyone else? We're just Al Bhed. It's not like we are fiends or something, you know."
"To THEM, we ARE fiends."
Renuoige was never much of an optomist. But Rikku loved him anyway. He was her own minature guardian. He never brought up the fact that she had "taken" his mother away, but he frequently talked about her. She loved Renuoige's stories about her mother, but she couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt whenever he mentioned her name...
Six Years Ago...
"And had hair just like yours, Rikku. I really wish she would have made a memory sphere before...before she died. She was really excited when she found out she was pregnant. She really wanted a little girl..."
"She wanted a little girl?" Rikku felt a little happier.
"Yeah. She wanted a little girl so I could take care of her and protect her." Renu smiled. "Have I been doing a good job?"
Rikku nodded. "The BEST. Tell me more about mom."
"Well, she loved to sing. She had the most BEAUTIFUL voice. She used to sing me to sleep when I was little. Even when I was fidgety or restless or scared-"
"YOU were SCARED, Renu?"
"Even those of us who are brave get scared sometimes. But...anyways, she used to sing to me, and it'd put me straight to bed, no matter what."
"I wish...I wish I could have met her."
"You remind me of her, sometimes," Renuoige mused. "Not only how you look, but also how you act, sometimes. It makes me wonder, sometimes, if you're just mom reincarnated..."
Just like her mom. Rikku couldn't forget those words, even now. Would meeting her mom mean meeting herself? How strange, that would be, to meet someone on the Farplane who was EXACTLY like you. Rikku sighed. She wasn't worthy. She was only a weak, scared, Seymour-murdering, betraying little girl. It was her mistakes that ended up hurting everyone else.
Four Years Ago...
Rikku was quizzical. Her father never invited her into his room-- in fact, this had been the first time she had ever even SEEN his bedroom. But now, there she was, on her twelfth birthday, sitting on the edge of her bed, filled with apprehension.
She watched as he leaned under his bed and pulled out a box. Rikku immediately recognized it.
It was that same marble box, lined with silver trimming that she watched her father go back into the destroyed remains of Home to find. Although it was scratched and tattered, the box still showed signs of beauty- or the beauty it once possessed. Rikku suddenly felt important. Her father inviting her to look inside of this box-- she should feel honored to see what was inside of it.
Silently, he opened it, and Rikku saw as he took something out. What, she was unable to see. Suddenly, he drew his fist towards her, and opening it, delivered the gift that lay within the palm of his hand.
"This barrette...it was your mother's. I'm certain she would have wanted you to have it..."
For a second, Rikku stared at the blue-and-green hair ornament he held, before plucking it up.
"Dad..."
Taking some stray hair from the left side of her face, she clipped the barrette.
This is my mother's gift...I will never take it off, Rikku vowed that day. I will take care of this precious gift.
Rikku's hand spontaneously drew to the barrette. Mom...
"Hey! Rikku!"
Tidus?! She jumped to her feet, prepared to turn that frown upside down. Her friends- they were here.
Waoi! I had *SO* much fun writing this chapter. I might incorporate some more flashbacks in the next chapter, so I *HOPE* you liked 'em. I promise- romance will be in the air soon enough. ^^;;;
Chapter Nine: Memoirs of the Past
By: NurikoLuver (Trudy Haley)
Author's Notes: Blargh blargh blargh. Damnit, I loved writing this chapter. I really don't know how it came out. @_@;; I realized that Rikku's brother *DID* have a name, but since no one on some FF message boards my boyfriend frequents knew the name, I just used Renuoige. ^^;; Not his real name. Hope you guys understand... ^^;; Now enjoy! And R/R! Thankies!
Everything happened so fast after that. Even now, Rikku had trouble remembering everything that had happened in the past couple of hours. She stared down at her sleeping cousin; if only she could fall asleep like that. Rikku wasn't sure if she could ever fall into such a peaceful sleep again. Even with her own eyes opened, his eyes still plagued her. With a befallen sigh, she watched as her cousin slept. Tidus gave Rikku a quizzical glance. Just by his facial expression, she knew what to tell him.
"I'm sure Yunie's fine. She's breathing all right and all. How are Lulu and Wakka?"
"Well, Wakka's in shock. Can't blame him, either. And Lulu, well...she's just the same as always," Tidus replied.
"She's so together. All grown up, I guess."
"I guess."
"Well, just give me five or six years." Rikku did want to be like Lulu: the brave, strong Black Mage, who always seemed to keep her cool. If only she could be that calm in situations like this...
Rikku watched as Tidus backed away to Kimhari. "So, Kimhari, how do we get out of here?"
"Don't change the subject!" Rikku protested.
"We climb," Kimhari replied.
"Kimhari, too!"
"Only those who try will become," Kimhari told her.
"Huh?" Rikku was lost again. Sometimes her attention digressed to something else when she had a lot on her mind. She had already forgotten what Kimhari just said.
"I think he means that you will have to work hard if you want to be like Lulu," Tidus explained.
"Oh! I will!"
"Kimhari think Rikku should stay Rikku."
"Hey!" Rikku approached Kimhari. "Are you saying I'll never be like Lulu? Kimhari!"
Tidus laughed. Atleast his laughter perked Rikku up a little bit. A little bit.
"How can you laugh at a time like this?" Wakka shouted.
Yuna stirred in her sleep, slowly opening an eye. "Yuna!" Tidus exclaimed.
Rikku only half-listened as the group decided that they were going to Bevelle. She had other things on her mind. Maybe not as important to everyone else, but still, important to her.
Was she really a traitor? Even if she felt as though she couldn't be a guardian, and she left, she would have no where to go. And...Seymour. Even hours later, his eyes still wound up in her mind. It took everything inside of her not to cry, and even now, her toes were scrunched up into her boots. Maybe that little pain could stop her from thinking about it. But no. Nothing seemed to work.
The only thing that managed to grab her attention was when the Fayth stopped singing, and soon afterwards, the ground began to rumble.
"SIN!?" Yuna shouted.
Rikku and Wakka gasped.
"The toxin! Watch out!" Lulu warned.
Lulu's words were the last things Rikku remembered hearing before plummeting into darkness.
When she woke up, she found herself in the warm, familiar sands of Bikanel Island. It felt strange, suddenly, to so painfully want to go back home, and suddenly be here. Now she regretted it. She didn't think she was ready to confront the rest of the Al Bhed, especially her brother. Boy, would she be hearing it from him when they met up at Home.
Suddenly, she felt a pinch of nostalgia.
Eight Years Ago...
"Rikku...why are you crying?"
"I...I'm not crying!" Rikku rubbed her tear-stained cheeks, so her brother couldn't see. She didn't want her brother to see her crying. She needed to show Renuoige she could be just as brave as him. Even braver.
"You're crying about Home, aren't you?" Renoige placed a hand on her shoulder.
"No, I'm not crying!" Rikku sniffled.
"It'll be okay. We'll all unite again. Dad will help the Al Bhed build a new nation, and there we will be safe, forever."
"Really?" Rikku wiped her nose with her hand. "Forever?"
Renoige nodded solemnly. "You know dad. In no time, we'll all be together again!"
"You sure?" Rikku was practical, even at such a young age.
"Yes, I'm sure."
Rikku grabbed a handful of sand and threw it out at the wind. She could only wonder where on Spira everyone else was. For all Yevon knew, Sin took them all to Bevelle and left her here. Rikku sighed, plopping her head down on the soft dune of sand. No use wandering around. If they were here, they would find her eventually. If they weren't here by nightfall, well, she'd head back Home.
Ten Years Ago...
"Daddy...Pihho and Candbahd have mommies," Rikku said, referring to her two best friends. "Where's my mommy? Is she on a trip somewhere?"
Cid cleared his throat. He had been expecting this for awhile, but still, not yet. The words he had previously rehearsed suddenly seemed too stiff, too scientific, too stupid for a child Rikku's age. He stumbled for words that Rikku would understand. He bent down to his daughter's height and smiled.
"Yes, mommy's far, far away in a place called the Farplane."
"The Farplane? When's mommy coming back?"
Cid shook his head. "Mommy's not coming back."
"How did mommy goto the farplane? Can I go, too?" Her blunt, innocent words almost sent tears to his eyes. ALMOST.
"No, you can't go see mommy. Mommy went to the Farplane when you were born. She died as you were born. So you must be a strong and brave girl, because your mommy went to the Farplane, so you could live."
Rikku nodded solemnly. "Mommy sounds like a nice person."
"She was..." Cid suddenly hugged his daughter. "She was the nicest person you could ever meet...I'm sure your mommy is so proud of her daughter, who is working so hard with her daddy..."
Rikku sighed at the memory. Even now, she still blamed herself. If she wasn't born, her mother would have lived. She wasn't even worth her mother's life. Not yet, atleast. She still wasn't strong. She still wasn't brave. She was still just...Rikku. Just the frightened little girl she was when she was seven...
Nine Years Ago...
"Renuoige! We shouldn't go out here without daddy!" Rikku stumbled after her brother, hopping over the rocks that blocked the path. She was clumbsy at that age, a trait that she never grew out of.
"Don't be a baby," Renuoige lectured. "If you never go out on your own, you'll never be independent."
"In..dependent?" Renuoige's twelve year-old vocabulary was too much for Rikku's seven year-old mind.
"Yeah, when you don't need anyone else's help," Renuoige said, hopping down from a rather large rock.
"Why didja make me come then?"
Renuoige was florid. "I don't need your help. You need MINE. I'm going to teach you all of life's lessons so that you're strong and smart when you grow up. That way you don't have to screw up on your own."
"Huh?" Rikku was lost.
"When you make mistakes, you learn from them. Don't make mistakes, and you have to learn those lessons from someone who has. Someone like ME."
"What do YOU know about the world? You're only twelve."
Renuoige scoffed at Rikku's words. "A lot more than you will ever know."
"Hmph!" Rikku pouted. "But if you teach me, then won't I be just as smart as you?"
"Weeeell," Renuoige mused. "Maybe, but I'll have to teach you quicker than I learn. And I'm pretty smart."
"So, if I learn from you, will I grow up to be as brave and strong as you?"
Renuoige laughed. "Maybe, sis, just MAYBE."
Renuoige. Suddenly she felt bad. Maybe betraying her brother wasn't the best idea. After all, he taught her damn near everything she knew. But maybe...maybe when she got Home, Renuoige would be there, and he'd listen to her. Renuoige would understand, once she told him what she was doing. That one meeting was so quick and unexpected that they couldn't exchange words the way they needed to.
Eight Years Ago...
"Um...mister..." Rikku began. "H...have you seen my friends? They have eyes just like me." Rikku chose her words carefully- she didn't want her search to be foiled by a Yevonite.
"Eyes like you, yah? Nope, kid, haven't seen 'em." He spun his blitzball on the tip of his index finger. "Hey, Lu, Wakka! Ya'll see any kids that look like this girl?"
They shook their heads. "Sorry, kid. Hope you find your friends."
Rikku heard someone approach her; she turned around hastily. Renu.
"They aren't here," Renuoige said bluntly.
"Will we EVER find them?"
"Eventually, yes."
"I want to find them. Pihho and Candbahd are my best friends..."
"We still haven't looked EVERYWHERE in Spira. We've only searched here and in Bevelle. And hey, we found Payn and his family," Renuoige said, referring to his best friend. "And lots of other Al Bhed. We'll find them, there's still lots of other places they can be."
"Besaid is a nice place...Maybe Home could be built here!"
Renuoige shook his head. "A nice place to visit, but not to live. You forget, we're Al Bhed."
"Yeah, but...it's not fair, you know. Why can't we build Home where ever we want?"
"Because we're Al Bhed," her brother told her.
"Why should that stop us?" Rikku asked.
"It's not the fact we're Al Bhed that stops us. It's everyone else."
"Everyone else? We're just Al Bhed. It's not like we are fiends or something, you know."
"To THEM, we ARE fiends."
Renuoige was never much of an optomist. But Rikku loved him anyway. He was her own minature guardian. He never brought up the fact that she had "taken" his mother away, but he frequently talked about her. She loved Renuoige's stories about her mother, but she couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt whenever he mentioned her name...
Six Years Ago...
"And had hair just like yours, Rikku. I really wish she would have made a memory sphere before...before she died. She was really excited when she found out she was pregnant. She really wanted a little girl..."
"She wanted a little girl?" Rikku felt a little happier.
"Yeah. She wanted a little girl so I could take care of her and protect her." Renu smiled. "Have I been doing a good job?"
Rikku nodded. "The BEST. Tell me more about mom."
"Well, she loved to sing. She had the most BEAUTIFUL voice. She used to sing me to sleep when I was little. Even when I was fidgety or restless or scared-"
"YOU were SCARED, Renu?"
"Even those of us who are brave get scared sometimes. But...anyways, she used to sing to me, and it'd put me straight to bed, no matter what."
"I wish...I wish I could have met her."
"You remind me of her, sometimes," Renuoige mused. "Not only how you look, but also how you act, sometimes. It makes me wonder, sometimes, if you're just mom reincarnated..."
Just like her mom. Rikku couldn't forget those words, even now. Would meeting her mom mean meeting herself? How strange, that would be, to meet someone on the Farplane who was EXACTLY like you. Rikku sighed. She wasn't worthy. She was only a weak, scared, Seymour-murdering, betraying little girl. It was her mistakes that ended up hurting everyone else.
Four Years Ago...
Rikku was quizzical. Her father never invited her into his room-- in fact, this had been the first time she had ever even SEEN his bedroom. But now, there she was, on her twelfth birthday, sitting on the edge of her bed, filled with apprehension.
She watched as he leaned under his bed and pulled out a box. Rikku immediately recognized it.
It was that same marble box, lined with silver trimming that she watched her father go back into the destroyed remains of Home to find. Although it was scratched and tattered, the box still showed signs of beauty- or the beauty it once possessed. Rikku suddenly felt important. Her father inviting her to look inside of this box-- she should feel honored to see what was inside of it.
Silently, he opened it, and Rikku saw as he took something out. What, she was unable to see. Suddenly, he drew his fist towards her, and opening it, delivered the gift that lay within the palm of his hand.
"This barrette...it was your mother's. I'm certain she would have wanted you to have it..."
For a second, Rikku stared at the blue-and-green hair ornament he held, before plucking it up.
"Dad..."
Taking some stray hair from the left side of her face, she clipped the barrette.
This is my mother's gift...I will never take it off, Rikku vowed that day. I will take care of this precious gift.
Rikku's hand spontaneously drew to the barrette. Mom...
"Hey! Rikku!"
Tidus?! She jumped to her feet, prepared to turn that frown upside down. Her friends- they were here.
Waoi! I had *SO* much fun writing this chapter. I might incorporate some more flashbacks in the next chapter, so I *HOPE* you liked 'em. I promise- romance will be in the air soon enough. ^^;;;