I Did it For Her
By: Ashlee
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own them. Because if I did, Mulder woulda never left or at the very least we would have episodes that addressed stuff. But I don't, so we don't. Until then I guess I'll just have to deal. Anyway, Chris Carter (whom at the moment I think is a bleach- blond surfing twit) owns them. Don't get me wrong I love Chris, I'm just irritated at him right now. But he and 1013 own them.
Note: Yeah, I'm a little mad at CC – I was told there would be Mulder, and what do I get? A two second view. Whatever dude. Actually I'm more pissed cause the guy isn't addressing anything. Hey Carter, did you forget Scully's pregnant? Or that she might be a bit more upset about Mulder's disappearance? Did Scully ever tell her mom, cause I wanted to see that! Anyway. I was surfing through the new stories at Gossamer and this hit me. Didn't even get a chance to read any of 'em! Well this is my first plain X- Files fic. So here it is…
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I feel bad leaving her the way I did, amidst a mountain of lies, but it was the only way. I was dying. I couldn't put her through that. I remember what it was like thinking she was going to die - pure hell. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had tried everything else. Hell, I was willing to let myself get eaten and regurgitated, that should tell you something. But nothing worked. Nothing. No Indian Medicine Man, no psychic healer, no soul eater, no conventional medicine. My condition was rare and incurable. Sound familiar Scully?
See, I remember the day Scully told me that she had cancer, and that it was incurable. While I may have never shown it to her face, when I heard that my heart broke because at that moment I knew that I would lose her. I didn't, of course, but I thought it and it nearly killed me. So there was no way in hell that I was going to subject Scully to that feeling of hopelessness. So I lied.
When Scully and I went and investigated that UFO Oregon I knew that I was going to have to tell her, but then we found out that that ship was taking people and I could only think of Mrs. Spendor and how they had cured her. Let her walk again. And I realized that this was our last hope. Mine and Scully's. So when we had to go back and investigate I convinced her that it was her that the aliens wanted. It wasn't hard, the barrier had thrown her out once, it might not the next time. Why tempt fate? And I brought Skinner, because I knew Scully would trust him, his loyalties may have been questionable at times, but I know now that he was the only one that we could ever trust. So I left Scully with the Gunmen, went into the forest and got my sorry ass abducted.
I don't regret not telling her, it would have done more harm than good, but I do regret leaving her. My only hope now, the only thing that keeps me going, is the hope that one day I will return to her a cured man. I just hope that she'll understand and forgive me for all my sins. I know she's taking this hard, but that's what Skinner is for, and the Gunmen and her mother. Scully's strong, probably the strongest person that I know. I know she'll make it. We both will, and one day we'll be reunited. Until then I just hope that she knows that this wasn't her fault and that I love her more than anything. I did it for her.
By: Ashlee
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own them. Because if I did, Mulder woulda never left or at the very least we would have episodes that addressed stuff. But I don't, so we don't. Until then I guess I'll just have to deal. Anyway, Chris Carter (whom at the moment I think is a bleach- blond surfing twit) owns them. Don't get me wrong I love Chris, I'm just irritated at him right now. But he and 1013 own them.
Note: Yeah, I'm a little mad at CC – I was told there would be Mulder, and what do I get? A two second view. Whatever dude. Actually I'm more pissed cause the guy isn't addressing anything. Hey Carter, did you forget Scully's pregnant? Or that she might be a bit more upset about Mulder's disappearance? Did Scully ever tell her mom, cause I wanted to see that! Anyway. I was surfing through the new stories at Gossamer and this hit me. Didn't even get a chance to read any of 'em! Well this is my first plain X- Files fic. So here it is…
===
I feel bad leaving her the way I did, amidst a mountain of lies, but it was the only way. I was dying. I couldn't put her through that. I remember what it was like thinking she was going to die - pure hell. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had tried everything else. Hell, I was willing to let myself get eaten and regurgitated, that should tell you something. But nothing worked. Nothing. No Indian Medicine Man, no psychic healer, no soul eater, no conventional medicine. My condition was rare and incurable. Sound familiar Scully?
See, I remember the day Scully told me that she had cancer, and that it was incurable. While I may have never shown it to her face, when I heard that my heart broke because at that moment I knew that I would lose her. I didn't, of course, but I thought it and it nearly killed me. So there was no way in hell that I was going to subject Scully to that feeling of hopelessness. So I lied.
When Scully and I went and investigated that UFO Oregon I knew that I was going to have to tell her, but then we found out that that ship was taking people and I could only think of Mrs. Spendor and how they had cured her. Let her walk again. And I realized that this was our last hope. Mine and Scully's. So when we had to go back and investigate I convinced her that it was her that the aliens wanted. It wasn't hard, the barrier had thrown her out once, it might not the next time. Why tempt fate? And I brought Skinner, because I knew Scully would trust him, his loyalties may have been questionable at times, but I know now that he was the only one that we could ever trust. So I left Scully with the Gunmen, went into the forest and got my sorry ass abducted.
I don't regret not telling her, it would have done more harm than good, but I do regret leaving her. My only hope now, the only thing that keeps me going, is the hope that one day I will return to her a cured man. I just hope that she'll understand and forgive me for all my sins. I know she's taking this hard, but that's what Skinner is for, and the Gunmen and her mother. Scully's strong, probably the strongest person that I know. I know she'll make it. We both will, and one day we'll be reunited. Until then I just hope that she knows that this wasn't her fault and that I love her more than anything. I did it for her.