One more. This time it's Clark.
The more I feel the more I die.
Everyone I've ever loved seems to get hurt. I love you, there is no doubt there and if you were to get hurt when I could have prevented it my life would be over. I sometimes feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, trying to be every where at once, trying to save everyone. I can't save everyone, and it's killing me. But I saved you, I brought you back from death and you've been in my heart from that moment on.
Nothing to give, nothing inside.
I can't share everything with you. It hurts me that I can't be truthful with you, tell you my secrets. All I can do is give you today. I can't make any promises for tomorrow . I've memorized every inch of your body because one day I know you won't be there when I wake up. I can't give you what you want, I can't let someone that close to me. Not even you.
Everything I touch I break.
The first time we made love I was so afraid of hurting you, of losing myself inside you and forgetting to control my strength, my speed. I could have hurt you as you asked me to push harder, to go faster, if you only knew how much I was holding back. I had no idea what would happen as I came inside you but you moaned my name and kissed my lips and I felt as if I had lied to you for the first time all over again. I felt your heart beat through your skin and it reminded me I wasn't like you. We were flesh and we were one so why do I feel so much guilt? We had shared the most intimate act that two people could and yet you still didn't know who I was.
I scratch and tear until it bleeds.
It's the only way I can convince myself I belong on this planet to show I'm like everyone else. It takes so long, dragging my nails against my skin, putting so much pressure on my skin until I see red and even then it only last a second and I have to start over again. I don't belong here. I want to so badly if only just for you but I know I'll never be with you as you need me to be.
I do not want I only need.
It's no longer a question of wanting you. I've wanted you on some level from the first moment I saw you but now I need you. And it's killing me. The need is so great that I'm afraid someday I will hurt you and then I'll never forgive myself. I'll squeeze you close to me and break your bones or grip my nails into you skin and make you bleed. I need you. But I can't have you. I hope you see what losing you would do to me. What would I have to do to forget about you?
Everything I touch I break…..and I want to break you.
The more I feel the more I die.
Everyone I've ever loved seems to get hurt. I love you, there is no doubt there and if you were to get hurt when I could have prevented it my life would be over. I sometimes feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, trying to be every where at once, trying to save everyone. I can't save everyone, and it's killing me. But I saved you, I brought you back from death and you've been in my heart from that moment on.
Nothing to give, nothing inside.
I can't share everything with you. It hurts me that I can't be truthful with you, tell you my secrets. All I can do is give you today. I can't make any promises for tomorrow . I've memorized every inch of your body because one day I know you won't be there when I wake up. I can't give you what you want, I can't let someone that close to me. Not even you.
Everything I touch I break.
The first time we made love I was so afraid of hurting you, of losing myself inside you and forgetting to control my strength, my speed. I could have hurt you as you asked me to push harder, to go faster, if you only knew how much I was holding back. I had no idea what would happen as I came inside you but you moaned my name and kissed my lips and I felt as if I had lied to you for the first time all over again. I felt your heart beat through your skin and it reminded me I wasn't like you. We were flesh and we were one so why do I feel so much guilt? We had shared the most intimate act that two people could and yet you still didn't know who I was.
I scratch and tear until it bleeds.
It's the only way I can convince myself I belong on this planet to show I'm like everyone else. It takes so long, dragging my nails against my skin, putting so much pressure on my skin until I see red and even then it only last a second and I have to start over again. I don't belong here. I want to so badly if only just for you but I know I'll never be with you as you need me to be.
I do not want I only need.
It's no longer a question of wanting you. I've wanted you on some level from the first moment I saw you but now I need you. And it's killing me. The need is so great that I'm afraid someday I will hurt you and then I'll never forgive myself. I'll squeeze you close to me and break your bones or grip my nails into you skin and make you bleed. I need you. But I can't have you. I hope you see what losing you would do to me. What would I have to do to forget about you?
Everything I touch I break…..and I want to break you.