After Life: Promises
Buffy stared at her wall, thinking back into her past life.
*
"For every generation, there is a slayer."
*
"Buffy! You forgot your.....stake!"
*
"You're the slayer....we're like the slayerettes."
*
"Who are you?"
"You'll find out on Saturday."
"What happens on Saturday?"
"I kill you."
*
"Angel...if you love me, don't go."
*
"Why are you holding hands?"
"Should I tell them?"
"No need to be humble."
"Spike and I are getting married!"
"How? What? How?"
"Three amazingly good questions."
*
"I've never been so proud to have you as a best friend."
*
"You think you know...what you are? What you'll become? You haven't even begun."
*
"Buffy, if you're going out, maybe you should bring your sister!"
*
"Hey, I just noticed something! You've got superpowers! That is so cool! Can you...fly?"
*
"We sent it to you...."
"Dawn."
*
"Buffy, they want me back. I'm leaving."
*
"Riley!"
*
"Buffy, I love you. Just tell me there's a chance."
"The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious."
*
"Mom? Mom? Mommy?"
*
"I'm glad you came."
"How long should I stay?"
"Forever sounds good."
*
"She'd kill Dawn. I can't let that happen. I'd let her kill me before I'd let that happen."
*
"My robot?"
"The robot is gone. The robot was gross and obscene."
"I didn't mean~"
"No. It wasn't even real. What you did...for me, and for Dawn. That was real. I won't forget it."
*
"Look! It's beautiful! What a big green light..."
*
"Go ahead. Tell me to kill my sister."
"She's not your sister."
"You're right. She's more than that. She's me."
*
"I know you'll never love me. I know I'm a monster...but you treat me like a man and that's..."
*
"Buffy....no. No!"
"Dawnie, I have to."
"Dawnie, listen to me. Listen....tell Giles that...tell Giles that I've figured it out. And I'm ok. Give my love to my friends...you have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world...is living in it. Be brave. Live. For me."
*
She wiped a tear away quickly, then glanced at the doorway.
Dawn was watching her, with a sad look on her face.
"Are...are you ok?"
Buffy thought for a moment.
"I.....yes. I'm...fine. I..." she held her undyed, matted hair between her bandaged fingers, "I want to have a shower."
Dawn looked down, "Maybe you should have a bath...and leave the door open...?"
Buffy stood and walked over to Dawn. She grasped her shoulders and looked into her eyes.
"Dawn....you can't drown yourself in a shower. I'm not going anywhere, ok?"
Dawn smiled slightly, then said, "I'll be in my room. Call me if you need......anything. Ok?"
Buffy nodded, then closed the door behind her in the washroom. She peeled the dirty black dress off of her abnormally thin body carefully, and looked at herself in the mirror.
"I'm Buffy." she said slowly, then blinked. She was starting to feel a bit more like herself now.
As the hot water cascaded over her body, she sighed.
Spike was right. I did....I did have a death wish.
She filled her mouth with water, then spat it out down the drain. It felt sort of good to be alive again....to eat, and laugh.....if she would laugh.
Willow had done something to her hair.....Dawn had lost weight.... Xander had cut his hair....Everything had changed. And where was Giles? And Spike? Where were the other people from her....past life?
As she dried her face, she looked into the mirror again.
How many times did I look into this when I was alive for the first time? And the second? This will be the second time in my third life.
She wrapped a large towel around her body and headed to her room when-
"Oh my god." said a voice from the staircase.
Buffy looked over to see Spike, wide eyed and breathless.
"Dawn..." Buffy called, quickly heading into her room. She could hear Spike passing her bedroom and going into Dawn's with heavy, urgent footsteps.
She listened carefully to see what she could hear.
"What was that!?"
"What was...what?"
"That! In the hallway, looked like Buffy with wet hair and very, very thin!"
"Oh...that. Spike...that's Buffy. For real."
Silence, then:
"What are you talking about?"
"Honestly, Spike it's Buff~"
"No! No, it has to be a demon! A demon, pretending to be Buffy, or....." Spike's voice was panicked, and soon she heard his knuckles on the door.
"Buffy!" Dawn yelled, "Come out for a sec."
Buffy quickly threw on her housecoat and stepped out the door.
She stared at Spike, and he at her.
Finally, she said, "It's me. It's Buffy....it's me." she looked at his combat boots, which were shifting on the floor.
"B-Buffy?" he stammered, looking into her eyes. She looked right back, and she couldn't read what he was thinking.
"Buffy." he repeated, breathless, and she nodded slowly.
"How? How?"
"We...we don't know." Dawn said quietly from beside him, and he started.
"I'll bet Willow did this! Willow...and Tara and Xander and Anya! I'll bet you anything they~"
"They did." Buffy said quietly, "They knew. I saw them and they knew. I ran away."
Dawn was silent for a moment, "Why did you run away?"
"I did what they did to me." she said bitterly. All was silent for a few seconds, then Spike's eyes widened again.
"They- they rose you.....and ran away? They left you?" he said quietly, a glint of fury in his eyes.
Buffy nodded, looking down again.
"They...they left you? Where?"
"In my...."
"In your coffin?" Spike's tone was deadly now as she nodded.
Dawn covered her mouth with one hand and grasped Buffy's hand with the other.
Buffy flinched and pulled away.
Spike gently put out his hand to touch the bandages. As he slowly pulled them off, she closed her eyes.
Both Dawn and Spike gasped as they saw the bloody tears in her skin.
"I'll kill them." Spike roared, just as they heard the door. Dawn grabbed his arm.
"Settle down. I'm going to have to...talk to them....but don't say anything Spike. I'll do the talking. You come down with Buffy after me."
"Dawn! Spike! Are you here?" Willow's voice rang out. It sounded stretched, as if under some major pressure.
Dawn started down the steps, and Willow breathed in a sigh of relief.
"You guys, we have to tell you something~" Will started, but then she saw Spike and Buffy start down the stairs after Dawn and she went silent.
"Oh." Xander said, wide eyed staring at Spike, who looked extremely angry.
"We have to talk." said Dawn curtly, and the four who had raised the tired girl sat down immediately.
Buffy and Spike sat down on the loveseat facing the couch, and Dawn still stood, hands on her hips.
"From what I've heard," she started, "you guys were doing a little hocus pocus tonight."
"Dawn, we can explain~"
"Quiet. Now, would you mind telling me what happened after you started to raise Buffy from the dead?"
"Why ask them!? Just kill them!" Spike shouted, but Dawn fixed him with a glare that reminded him so much of the Buffy they all knew so well that he shut up too.
Dawn looked waitingly at the four.
Willow exchanged a look with Tara and Xander, then opened her mouth.
"The demon biker gang....they sort of tore through what we were doing." she explained.
"So, you decided to leave Buffy in her coffin to have to make her way out while only living on three month old oxygen and a body that was decaying?" Dawn's voice dripped with sarcasm, and Willow shrank into the couch, "We didn't mean~"
"I know you didn't mean," said Dawn sharply, "But you know what you did? You could have raised her, then killed her again! Nobody would have even known except her, who would have first died saving all of your butts, then died from suffocation due to lack of backup planning from the people who she died to save! Nice way to say thanks, guys! What happened to thinking ahead? Being prepared? I mean, this is Sunnydale, people! You've lived here what, all of your lives and you still don't know that something weird might happen the one night you have big plans?! She could have died again! What were you thinking!?" Dawn was shouting now, but Buffy stood up suddenly and said, "Enough."
The room was silent.
"You want to talk, Buff?" Dawn said, trying to compose herself, and Buffy nodded. Dawn sat down beside Spike, who gave her a reassuring squeeze.
Buffy stood up slowly, and eyed Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya.
"What did you do?" she said quietly, "Why did you do this?"
Everyone looked at Willow, who was wiping away tears, "I just wanted to save you, Buffy."
"From what?" she said, puzzled.
"The....the other dimension! The hell dimension."
"The hell dimension? The only hell dimension that I've ever been in has been this one." Buffy said, sniffing.
Willow looked as though she was about to burst into tears, "Buffy, we love you. We all do, we just wanted you back. To know that you'd be safe again~"
"You wanted me back? You wanted me safe? I can't think of much that's safer than heaven...than afterlife. That is the most peaceful, wonderful place in this universe, and you decided you wanted me back. You wanted me back, so you brought me back into this hell hole without a second thought about what I would have wanted. Like I wanted to come back. I know you didn't tell Dawn or Spike what you were doing, I know at least Spike would have stopped you. He understands. He understands about the feeling most Slayers get, the feeling it is to be able to live forever. Nobody wants to live forever when the world is such a horrible place. I just....don't understand how you guys could have been so...careless. I'm...tired. I'm going to bed." she ended quietly, and Dawn stood up to bring her upstairs.
As Buffy snuggled under her covers, she sighed.
"I know that they had good in their hearts," she told Dawn, who was crying softly, "But I just wish they would have...asked me. Or...Spike. Or Giles....or you. You and Giles are my main people......they should have said something. Would you have let them?"
Dawn shook her head, "I would have wanted you to rest."
"I know you missed me Dawnie. I know, and I'm sorry I caused you that much pain, but I know you would have made the right decision. Right?"
"Right."
"I love you, Dawnie."
"I love you too, Buffy...... do you think you can be happy here?"
Silence, then, "I...I don't know. I can try. Do you want me to try?"
"Yes."
"Ok, Dawn. I told you to live for me. Now I'll live with you. Is that a deal?"
"Yeah, Buffy. It's a deal."