Note: Between // is an event that is happening in the present time and not the time at which the journal was written.
Italics and '' is the thought of a character in the present time whilst words in italics are meant for emphasis.Thank you Jupiter's light, Silver Wing, Duke Cat, Dana, Clarissa and last but NEVER least Ley!!! Thank you all so much for reviewing. And yes I do agree that this story is really interesting but it won't be as weird as the next one I upload. See I'm already writing another story while keeping up with this one but don't worry I'll finish this story before I post the other one hehe ~_^
Chapter 3By the Pretty Penwriter
Alarms started sounding off in my head nothing good could come of this nothing at all. I was startled by this sudden change in attitude and I felt a tad bit scared of Relena that instant too scared to even approach her I think the others were scared as well because when she walked away everyone stepped out of her way except for the little puppy that ran after her.
//"Hitomi…Hitomi!!!" a woman with her brown hair in an artichoke hairstyle and cobalt eyes exclaimed. "Huh oh yeah what Faye?" she asked"You are such a airhead I was saying it's time for lunch are you coming or what?" Faye asked
Hitomi shook her head her black hair falling into her almost black eyes.
"Why Hitomi lunch is one of your favorite subjects." Faye joked
"No reason but if you could just bring me back a sandwich, chips and something to drink please." Hitomi replied
Faye stared at her friend in shock in total shock but nodded her head slowly.
'I gotta tell mom about this' Faye thought but slowly turned and walked out of the room.
Hitomi smirked to herself 'this journal is just too captivating to think that this person knew Relena Peacecraft and my commander' she thought as she turned her attention back to the journal.//
Little did I know after that the real trouble would begin well not actually the real trouble that was yet to come it was more like an intermission stage a scary one at that. Two weeks later when her brother finally did return from Mars I decided that there was a need to tell Milliardo. But I should ask Relena first the last thing I wanted was for her to become distant from me for her to be angry at me for asking someone to help her. I strode purposefully to her study and tapped on the door she opened it her face looking tired and exhausted but she smiled once she saw me.
"Hi Lu." She greeted cheerfully
But I'm sure my face was anything but cheerful which made her smile quickly disappear. She stepped back and invited me in I nodded at her and stepped into the room. She closed the door then moved behind the desk and sat she gestured with her hand for me to sit in the chair across from her desk I sat and tentatively clasped my hands together.
"What is it Lucretzia?" she asked me by my full first name.
"Well Relena I wanted to come to you first and ask if I could tell your brother." I said I was amazed at how quickly I said it I mean I explained to quickly like that in a snap and no stuttering.
Relena looked down at her desk and then answered a very crisp "No."
"But why?" I had to ask, damn my curiosity
"Because he doesn't need to worry I've already hired a therapist Lucretzia no need to worry." She explained
I looked at her closer was she lying I couldn't tell she had become so good at lying and I didn't even notice.
"All right Relena I trust you." I said standing and turned to leave but as I reached the door I spoke again I don't know why something told me that she wasn't telling the truth.
"But you do know not getting help only worsens the problem." I said before she could respond though I slipped out of the room.
I ran down the hallway crying and I didn't know why I was crying and I couldn't see where I was going when I slammed into something that felt like a wall. I stumbled back a foot or too and I shook my head and muttered
"Funny I didn't remember a wall being there."
"There never was." A deep melodious voice answered
I froze shocked with my bangs still obscuring my view I blushed and then looked up into his sapphire orbs they looked concerned he briefly touched my cheek with his hand gently wiping away my tears. My Tears! I had forgotten that I had been crying all this time.
"Noin what's wrong?" he asked softly
It was one of the rare moments in which he broke down his cold wall and showed warmth I had last heard that voice two years ago and now it brought me so much comfort I didn't care what I did. I flung my arms around him and sobbed and amazingly he held me in his strong arms and kissed the top of my head I continued crying forgetting everything even forgetting that he was holding me. I only cried for Relena I didn't believe for a second that she called or hired a therapist she was lying to me of all people her best friend and the pain ripped through me like a hurricane. I only continued to cry and hold him until there were no tears left then I released him and apologized.
"I'm sorry Zechs." I said bowing he stopped me mid bow with his hand keeping it there on my shoulder
"Don't apologize Lucretzia there is no need." He said my name rolling off his tongue
I closed my eyes and shook my head
"Yes there is I just can't tell you." I sobbed and broke from his grasp running to unknown locations all I know is that I grabbed my keys from the hook and ran out the door I really needed to think.
I hear the gunfire has begun I might as well not sleep now that there is that racket but when was the last time that I have slept. All I see out the window now is dark and gloom it's still daytime when was the last time that I've seen the sun?
Another memorable experience that I remember is that it was a month before we all decided to go to the Spa I think two months after her birthday Relena hadn't shown anymore signs of being insane, she even started to look better and was even more fun to be around. I decided one day to drop by her office and surprise her with lunch she needed the break. I stepped up to her office where her receptionist Jen interrupted me.
"Miss Noin I'm sorry Relena has asked that all meetings be postponed she has given me direct orders and has locked her door." She said her face set in a stubborn tone that matched her voice.
"Oh but you see I was called directly from her office for this lunch that's why she gave me this key." I lied keeping a straight face and held up the bag.
She eyed me suspiciously but nodded anyway. I stepped to the door and put the key in the lock chancing a side glance at her to see that she was engrossed in her work I smirked and turned the key in the lock and turned the knob.
The room was empty at least seemed to be I heard breathing it didn't miss a beat but I heard no other sound I moved closer to the noise it was from underneath Relena's large desk. And there was where the young girl was sitting holding a pin and pricking herself on her wrist little red pin marks were the only evidence and a few dribbles of blood seeped out of her smooth skin. My first reaction was to scream as loudly as I could yes I had seen much worse on the battle field, but to see that she was doing this to herself and that it was Relena I began to panic so much that I did feel like screaming. I searched around for the first aid kit and found it. Relena finally did look up and smiled
"Oh hello Lu how are you today?" she asked and continued pricking herself not even making a sound.
That terrified me even more she didn't even feel the pain of her actions I took the pin from her grasp and shook her she continued moving her arm as if she still held the pin. I lost control and smacked her she finally did look up at me startled.
"Huh…what happened?" She asked she didn't even know
I steadily began work at applying antiseptic to the wound and then wrapping a gauze bandage around her wrist she looked at me with her eyes. Her eyes were pleading for information about what on Earth she had been doing earlier.
"Lucretzia tell me what I did." She said as I helped her up to her chair.
"Relena you were pricking yourself with that pin you didn't even make a sound." I told her my voice shaking and my lips quivering.
"What…oh no they've started again and this time even worse." Relena murmured
"Now can I tell your brother?" I asked
"Why haven't you told him yet?" Relena asked
"You told me not to remember and that you were seeing a therapist." I explained suddenly I had this sinking feeling in my gut.
She shook her head "No I don't remember that I don't remember a lot of things oh Lu what is happening to me?" she cried out
I embraced her and softly stroked her hair and waited for her to stop crying.
"I don't know Relena but whatever it is we'll face this together and with your brother's help." I murmured softly.
I felt her head nod up and down and then she stopped sobbing and began hiccupping a little bit we couldn't help but laugh, isn't it strange how when your scared anything is funny.
She pulled back from the embrace and smiled at me.
"I will try as best I can." She promised and then hiccupped
I nodded to her solemnly.
"I'll tell Milliardo when we get home and I'll need to tell Sally." I said and stood.
"Why her?" Relena asked
"She may have some books and so forth or know a doctor that can help you Relena either way you're getting help no matter what." I promised I walked around her desk and lifted up the bag.
"I brought you lunch my friend." I said lightheartedly maybe we could forget our troubles for a while and enjoy our lunch in peace and quiet.
Relena didn't say anything only made a grab for the bag and tore into it grabbing as much food out as possible I shook my head and giggled slightly at my friend she did have her ways of making light of any situation.
By the time I left her office the sun was setting I looked at my watch I was in there for over three hours. Relena's receptionist Jen looked at me suspiciously as if saying I-Don't-Know-What-You're-Up-To-But-I'll-Find-Out I gave her one of my lopsided grins she let out a huff of air and turned her head sharply to the left ignoring my presence from that moment on. Milliardo was bound to be home by now I sighed as a thought crossed my mind for about the thousandth time that it was his home not our home that I wasn't in his bed snuggled up close to his warm body and to feel his touch. I shook my head those weren't the right thoughts to be thinking at a time like this Relena needed help and we'd need his help.
Finally I arrived home it seemed like hours but was only a few minutes I closed the door to my car and slowly began climbing up the steps to his room I gently tapped on the door waiting for an answer finally I heard his deep voice say,
"Come in."
I frowned and felt like crying how was I going to tell him that his sister was going insane? Pushing open the door I stepped in and there he was sitting at his computer his preventer jacket and shirt thrown aside onto the bed and he was now only wearing a white muscle shirt and his preventer pants. I think that I was actually drooling when he stood and walked to me and I could see his finely toned and tanned muscles.
"Yes Noin?" he asked an eyebrow raised
"M–Milliardo I have something to tell you sit down." I couldn't believe it I only stuttered once
He became panicked "Is there something wrong with Relena?" he asked nervously
"Yes and no now sit." I ordered softly pointing to a chair.
I don't think he heard me because he slowly drifted over to the bed and sat there the one place I didn't want him to sit.
I cleared my throat hoping that might clear my head a bit.
"Milliardo I know you haven't noticed this but Relena has been acting a tad bit strange she's talkative one moment then completely silent the next, overjoyed and then angry and then silent and then frightened. And she confessed to me on her eighteenth birthday that she thinks that she is going insane. She wanted me to tell you this because I think she was afraid too we need to help her." I pleaded
He looked at me shocked then shook his head "It must be stress I bet right after your vacation she'll be right as rain." He excused
I looked at him I'm sure shock was written all over my face because he said,
"Don't look at me like that she'll be okay after you all take that vacation believe me it's what she needs." He said
"But––" I started he placed a finger on my lips to silence me then he ushered me out of his room and closed the door.
I felt like bashing him over the head with a rock how could he be so stupid? I shook my head sadly Milliardo was one of those people that ignored the truth.
//'Man this is like one big soap opera except it's real. I can't believe these things actually happened maybe I should show this journal to my commander' Hitomi thought 'no I'll finish this whole journal first and maybe I'll show it to mama and papa first I wonder what their reaction will be.'
Hitomi giggled at the thought of her normally calm father choking from shock and her mother trying to revive him by waving a fan in his face. She shook her head smiling then looked to the desk Faye had already returned with her food. She picked up the sandwich and ate while she continued reading it was a day later in the journal Lucretzia must've fallen asleep.//
I guess I drifted off I wonder how maybe I'm used to the sound of gunfire by now that is definitely not a good sign I shall continue in my hopes that if somehow I am not able to express these words that maybe someone will be my voice.
Sally was now informed of the situation and was worried that maybe we shouldn't go on this trip maybe Relena needed a psychiatrist immediately and not later. I only told her to calm down that maybe all this relaxation would help Relena in some way help her to cope with her pain and loss. Her reply was just a snort and her crossing her arms I swear she looked just like Wufei. They both needed to stop being so stubborn and hook up already they were already too much alike maybe someday soon they would but not yet. I couldn't imagine what their child may act like probably the most stubborn person on Earth. Anyway I'm losing track those memories were just so rich and happy for me that I can't help but go back. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and stop this from the beginning.
To Be Continued
Heh well I hope you like it criticize me people I NEED it.