Thank you Kmf, Jupiter's light, Silver Wing, Dark Deity, Shi No Tenshi, Neo Sailor Jupiter Duke Cat, Dana, Clarissa, Crazy Gurl, Kuroi Koneko, me( ) and last but NEVER least Ley!!! Uhh no I didn't review my own fic that was an anonymous reader.
Chapter 8By the Pretty Penwriter
I gasped and stepped back. The crystal vase fell and smashed into a million pieces like an omen of bad things to come.
I've changed "housing" by now…this place seems to be worse than the shack and the smell is that of rotting flesh. But I can handle it what's the second choice going up top to fight in an untamed war and risk being killed? Although I do wonder if death would be better compared to this living hell, my past is catching up with me after every page in this journal I write. It seems the more I write the more I remember what I've tried so hard to forget, things that no one should live through at all but, I have lived them and I can't change it. I wonder that if I ended it all would it end my pain and suffering or just bring about a new one? Would my soul remain on this earth or go to hell…I do not know much about religion but I do remember hearing that if you kill yourself you'd go to hell. But what if you were doing it for the greater good of yourself to be rid of you painful past, present and ever-looming future. Yesterday on the floors of this old and long deserted underground fall out shelter I found a bible, I know not of what religion. On the inside of the cover there was information given about the bible it seemed that it had belonged to a little girl and I wonder did she leave it here when they were rushing to leave? Or did she lose faith in the God that was spoken of in this bible and discard it? I've flipped through the bible and read a verse or two seemingly they gave me a bit of hope that the war would end soon, maybe I should go back to reading it later on so I do not become so depressed that I kill myself. I must live on so that I may speak about what had happened those few years ago. But if I believe that I will survive and pull through so much why am I writing this journal?
I was stunned beyond belief how could someone that was so hostile to others and herself be released in only three months?! If our mental health department let Relena leave in three months I'm scared of all the nutcases that were out already.
Relena was coming back to her home today. We stared intently at the door when the doorknob turned and so I stood in the main entranceway along with most of her friends our best appearances on and smiling brightly. She entered the house smaller and a lot paler than she used to be her eyes held no gleam of any sort and her mouth was pulled into a fake smile.
"Hello everyone so nice to see you all again." She greeted formally and curtsied.
She was greeting us as acquaintances and not as friends! Tears stung my eyes and I was determine not to cry, although I would've fit right in with a lot of people in the group who were crying. My determination held strong and I did not cry I don't even think that my eyes were watery. Relena walked up to me and lowered her head like a child who had been caught eating a cookie before dinner.
"Miss. Noin I am sorry for attacking you while I was not myself." She apologized and hugged me stiffly
YOU STILL AREN'T YOUR SELF! I screamed in my mind but I hugged her back warmly. She began to release her hug and I released mine. She turned back to her brother without a smile without a mischievous glint in her eye it was as if she were dead inside. I could not hold in my anguish any longer I turned and fled down the hallway and out the back door.
I don't know where my destination was really all I know is that I ran and ran until my legs could no longer carry me. I ended up in the far reaches of the Peacecraft estate where there was a small lake. Tears sprang to my eyes as I collapsed to the ground at the edge of the lake so much had changed. The person in that house wasn't Relena only an imitation of the loving Relena I had once known. She wasn't Relena my tears splashed and melded with the water of the lake, the moonlight gave the lake an eerie glow. Almost as if I were in a different world and right then and there I wish I were not only in a different world but a different dimension. After crying for a few hours I dragged myself back to the house and fell into the first chair that I saw. I heard a few noises to my left but the strength left me to turn and see who it was. They moved towards me not cautious like, more like shuffling finally the mysterious person came into my sights it was Heero. Only it wasn't Heero his eyes were red and puffy his hair wilder then usual he sought out the couch and slumped into it.
"Rough day." He stated
"Yeah." I mumbled
It was then that I could feel the bonds of our friendship tighten as if this terrible situation was bringing everyone closer together, well everyone except the two siblings. I could barely even move but I turned my head so that I was looking him in the eyes.
"I don't think Relena's ever coming home." I said with a heavy heart, my voice so depressed.
"Yes, I think Relena's on a faraway journey never to return." He murmured back.
I'm sure if he hadn't cried himself out already that tears would have been falling from his eyes but it seemed as if he were too tired both mentally and physically to.
A few more footsteps we heard and the rest of our group made it to the living room falling into any seat that was available a heavy silence befell us all. We knew that Relena was never to return and it killed a piece of us that night.
//Tears fell from Hitomi's eyes as she read the depressing little journal and a thought struck her where is Lucretzia now? She asked herself. If she had found this journal does that mean Lucretzia is dead, or did she leave it behind. These questions may never be answered to her though for she did not know where to start looking. She did know who to start asking though and she was afraid, she was afraid that it might bring to much grief to her parents and to her uncles and aunts. How was she ever going to say what Lucretzia wanted to say? When she'd have to face her largest fear of hurting those that she dearly loved, was it possible for her?//
I don't know how I ever made it through that week without having a nervous breakdown, but I knew that I had to live on and not just stop everything in my life. Meetings came and went as well as assignments until one day I heard the call come in through the radio in the command room. They needed a preventer team and an ambulance to report to the Peacecraft manor ASAP. I forgot my duties then I flew out of my office like a bat out of hell and ran to my car, I heard people calling my name but I ignored them and continued. I jumped into my car and placed the siren on my rooftop then sped to the Peacecraft manor. I made it there without crashing in record time and jumped out of the car and ran up the stairs through the front door. I followed the line of officers to Relena's office door and turned the knob.
I knew that when I looked in that it wasn't going to be something minor at all. This was going to be something big, something that needed a body bag and a coroner. I steadied my breathing out of the corner of my eye I saw Milliardo but I wasn't in any state of mind to talk to him. I slowly stepped toward Relena's desk where behind it there was a white sheet over a form in her chair. My shaky hand reached out and touched the starched fabric; I pulled it up only to reveal the cold smiling face of Relena Peacecraft. Immediately I fell to the ground and cried in my hands I didn't care who saw me this was my best friend my family and now she was dead. It felt as if someone had taken an axe and chopped into my soul until it was split into two. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I knew it was Milliardo but his touch chilled me because he carried no love for me whatsoever. I shrugged him off; I stood up and ran out of the house, the house that I once used to call home.
A week after her death a funeral was planned I knew thousands of people would come and cry and that a steel fence would hold them back. I hated them all why were they crying they didn't know Relena at all they only saw her as a political figure not as a friend, not as a sister. I would show whoever offered their condolences a cold shoulder they didn't care next month they'd all forget about it because there'd be a new person in Relena's position. I was given the duty of what dress they should make Relena wear. I wondered why because in death there was nothing you could enjoy. I not only picked out her favorite dress but I went through her room and looked in our notes center. Now our notes center was like a secret mailbox that only the two of us knew about I expected nothing to be in there but a letter was addressed to me. I nimbly took it out unfolded it and read;
To my Dearest Lu,
By the time you or anyone else reads this I know that I will be gone. There are now more voices and I cannot control them any longer. I fear that by not doing anything against it that it'll kill me sooner or later. So why not sooner rather than later? Oh Lucretzia I love you and the others but this is something that I must do, I know that this is killing you and I'm sorry for it but it must be done. If it is not done than I am afraid that the world will be ruined because of me. With my body I have written a suicide not so that there will not be a war about someone killing me. I know how can I write so calmly about killing myself, to be honest I am already dead inside Lu. You all noticed it when I arrived back I was dead inside so why not kill the voices as well I only have momentary control over my body for a few minutes and then the others come. I'm sorry I know that it won't mean much but I am. I have always seen you as my older sister not only as a friend, I will be watching over you Lucretzia always. Don't be sad for wherever I am, I am happy.
Your sister forever,
Relena Peacecraft.
What suicide note?? I asked myself but I already knew the answer…Milliardo had destroyed it. Now if Milliardo had ever acted stupid in his life it was when he destroyed that letter because he did that the war began. The war between the Earth and the Colonies, the colonies accused the Earth for the death of Relena whilst the Earth accused the Colonies. It at first began as an on going bickering during the bickering of the two forces Sally and Wufei were married imagine that the two getting married while only being romantically involved for a few months! When the time came for the wedding photos to be taken I stood on the opposite end of the group from Milliardo for I didn't think I could trust him any longer. Only a month after the wedding Duo and Hilde were wed but a week after their happiness the real war began, the colony L7 fired the first shot. The Preventer agency was disbanded and forced to join the war, I refused to participate in a war that could be stopped and tried to tell the world but they all refused to listen to me Lucretzia Noin a nobody.
//Hitomi gasped 'this whole war isn't even necessary not at all!!! All the deaths were caused by him I cannot believe it, I must get in contact with mother and father at once and demand an important meeting of my uncles and aunts as well. If I have them all with me I am sure I can get in touch with the commander and give Lucretzia my voice, the voice that will set her free of this turmoil and a voice I hope that will end this war'. Hitomi thought as she closed the journal and got up from her bed and over to her vid-phone she dialed the number to her parents. She knew there it would probably be close to 6am but her parents would be up. An older looking Sally Chang answered the phone smiling brightly and smiling even more when she saw it was Hitomi her daughter.
"Hey Hits what's up?" she asked cheerfully.
"Who is that is that Hitomi?" Hitomi heard her fathers' gruff voice asked.
"It's Hitomi oh lemme talk!" Hitomi heard her 12-year-old brother Jeremy squealed
"Now Jeremy leave them alone." Her 20-year-old brother Lee the twin shamed.
"No let me talk to her too!" called her sister Ling, the other twin.
Hitomi sighed her whole family was up already probably getting ready for school or work.
"Mother this is important I do not have time for pleasantries I need to talk to you, father as well as my uncles and aunts about something important!" Hitomi demanded her voice cold.
An older Wufei appeared next to Sally he knew that tone of voice from his daughter and it was not to be taken lightly.
"Yes Hitomi go ahead." He said seriously
Hitomi closed her eyes for a moment trying to figure out a way to say this lightly but she found none.
"I need to discuss with you all about…Relena." She said in a deadpanned voice.
TBC
Wow… um I did not expect Hitomi to have that much family, but it came out that way, yes I know Hitomi is not a Chinese name!!! And neither is Jeremy but Sally is half American so that explains Jeremy's name but as for Hitomi, it seemed to fit her character if you look up what it means in Japanese. Sad right but see the TBC it's not the end okay still a few chapters to go. CRITICIZE me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah and praise.