A/N: I guess my second chapter didn't go over very well because of lack of reviews, but I'm still going to see how this chapter does. The second chapter was pretty boring. Anyway thanks to the people that did review the second chapter.
This chapter has more angst, lots more. Also a pretty bad flash back, so be ware. Also for future reference this is my first CCS fic so if I get names or technical stuff wrong it's because of my lack of knowledge on the show.
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS.
Meiling sat in the small apartment alone. In the apartment above there was a baby crying. She could not tell what the tears where for, maybe the poor thing was cold, or in need of food, or perhaps it just starved for attention and love from its mother. Whatever the reason it's tears brought tears to her eyes. In the apartment next door she could hear a couple arguing. The young women would scream defiantly and the young man would yell back at her with harsh words. Finally their voices died at the sound of a hard slap followed by the sound of more tears.
Was that all this world was tears, pain. That is all she had found, pain. Sometimes sweet and welcoming, sometimes brutal and forceful.
She was jerked from her thoughts by the sound of the next door neighbor's apartment door slamming. She got up from her seat and walk into the small bedroom of the apartment. The whole apartment was small, but the room itself could only hold a bed and still had very little walking space. She laid down on the old bed slowly. The mattress was lumpy and made noise anytime she switched positions do to broken springs. Li had worked very hard to get this one bed, so that she would no longer have to sleep on the floor. The bed was a great improvement over the floor, it was warmer and it made it easier for her to breathe.
Li still slept on a little pallet on the, would be, living room floor. They had spent the first couple of nights huddled together on the cold ground, until finally he found a job and thus bought this bed.
He had done so much for her; he gave up so much to help her that she still felt unworthy of his friendship.
~*~
Meiling held the small dagger with, Chinese writing on it, tightly in her hand. The moon's sliver light glimmered off the blade and she could see glimpses of her own image reflecting off the blade in the moonlight.
Her body shook violently and uncontrollably. She shivered as the cool breeze blow through her long black hair. Her long delicate fingers traced the edges of the blade. Her thoughts began to run and circle around her head, much like the world that her eyes saw as spinning. All the events of that evening came flooding back and she whimpered trying to hold back the sobs that so desperately wanted to come out. She would not cry, over this. She was strong and refused to give in to her own broken heart.
No one would want her now. She could not go home, they wouldn't help her, only push her away. She had no chose in order to save her own honor, and to spare herself more pain she must do it. She griped the dagger in her right hand, until her knuckles turned white from her firm hold. She then looked down at her left wrist. The dark flawless skin was now much paler. Her hand shook even more as she lowered her the blade to the point where it's sharp edges rested on her pale wrist.
She then hesitated, she wasn't sure if she had a right to end it all. She had responsibilities and she now carried life for two, what right did she have to take the innocent child's life before it even began. Then her thoughts turned back to the night that it all began. The pain both physically and emotionally returned in a great rush, overwhelming her in sorrow. What if the child grew to be like that monster? What right did see have to bring such evil into the world? She had decided the child and herself could be happy in the world beyond, anything would be better than this life.
She began to apply pressure to the knife; slowly she began to drag it down her wrist, cutting deeper as she moved it. The blood instantly began to flow out of her cut. She began to fell weak as her life began to pour out of her. She fell to the grown and felt weariness sweep into her. Her eyes soon shut to and the world began to fade.
"I'm home." Came a call from the living area of the apartment.
Meiling forced herself off the bed and walked into the other room. "How was work?" she asked sounding very tiered.
"The same." Li answered back. "How have you been?" he asked looking at her with concern.
Meiling sat down in one of the two old chairs that sat at their small table. She looked around their 'home' in disgust. Right when you walk in you enter the kitchen and then there was a table flowed by a small corner with a cot, where Li now sleeps alone. By the corner was the door to her room and inside the room was the door to the bathroom.
Li followed Meiling's gaze for a moment then went to sit across from her. "Hey, things will get better. We just have to give it some time." He said softly.
"I know, but it seems unfair, you going through all of this to help me." She said whimpering slightly.
"Meiling, I'm not just doing this for you. I couldn't stay there any longer, especially knowing all that they are doing." He said sternly. "I had no place there, and besides know one should have to go throw this alone."
"Oh Syaoran" Meiling answered tears forming in her eyes. "But how can we keep this up? How can you keep this up? Between school and work and taking care of me, you barley have time to breath. Maybe I should find a job, and try to help with the bills." She said in hope that he would consider.
"Meiling we've already talked about this, you are ill way too often to hold a job." He replied.
"But maybe there is something I could do, like a paper rout or something." She argued back. To her it seemed unfair that he should do everything while she spent the day sleeping.
"Meiling, please drop this subject. I don't want your health to suffer, and a job would certainly cause it to do so. Now please I need to finish my homework, and you need to go to bed." Li answered as he stood from his seat and walked over to retrieve his backpack from the kitchen counter.
Meiling only nodded and then rose from her seat, and walked to her room shutting the door behind her.
~*~
"Is it just me or has Meiling been sick a lot since they've gotten back." Tomoyo asked her companions.
"Yeah, maybe she has the fuel or something." Sakura said kind of dazzlingly.
"It seems more like mourning sickness to me." Eriol said from his seat across from the two girls.
Sakura laughed loudly at Eriol assumption. "Yeah right the only way she could have mourning sickness is if she is pregnant."
"Don't you think it's kind of odd Sakura that they both just showed up one day, and they don't seem to be as well financially as before. Also Syaoran has been very protective over Meiling, I think something very serious happened to them in Hong Kong." Eriol said thoughtfully.
"Yeah but pregnant how is that possible, and even if it is why would she and Syaoran be back because of it?" Sakura argued.
"Maybe Syaoran is the father and their family disowned them because of it." Tomoyo said to herself.
"What?!" Sakura shouted in shock then quieted. "What do you mean Syaoran is the father? There is no way he can be the father because Meiling isn't pregnant."
"Would you like to join us or are you just going to hide in the shadows all day." Eriol's question was not directed to the to girls across from him.
"You were having such a deep conversation, I hated to interrupt." Said a soft voice from the shadows under a large tree. Slowly a figure walked out from the cool shadows.
"Syaoran, I didn't know you were there. Come it with us." Called Sakura from her seat.
Li walked over to the group and sat with them.
"Syaoran I suppose you over heard us." Eriol said watching his decedent's every move. Li nodded in reply. "Well then perhaps you can clear some stuff up for us." Eriol paused still eyeing Li closely. "What happened in Hong Kong? And is Meiling with child?" Eriol asked in a voice that demanded an answer.
Li looked at him coldly. "I really don't think that, that is any of your concern." He said coldly while he stood from him seat.
"Then it is true." Eriol said with triumph. "Meiling is pregnant, but the question still remain, are you the father?"
Li looked at him with shock, could the reincarnated Clow she through him so easily. "I didn't say she was pregnant, and even if she is it's not any of your business." Li returned trying to control the waver in his voice.
"Syaoran, don't lie to me. I'm not the fool you take me for. I know a great deal about the costumes in your clan and I know they would not send their heir away with so little. Also Meiling is going through mourning sickness, I know the difference between that and the flue." He stated strongly. "Is Meiling pregnant?" he demanded.
Li looked down afraid that Eriol would see right through him and know all his secrets. "She is." he answered slowly.
"Why did you keep it a secret?" Tomoyo asked with astonishment.
Sakura's head was spinning. Meiling is pregnant and Li was here taking care of her, but why didn't he tell them sooner, unless… "Syaoran I can't believe you. You are the father aren't you. If you weren't then you would have told us sooner." She accused.
Li was taken back by Sakura's outburst, and he found it difficult to answer. "Sakura…"
Sakura cut him off before he could finish. "Save it. I can't believe you would betray me like this!" she yelled tears forming in her eyes. "I waited for you and this is how you repay me. You could of at lest had the decency to tell me sooner!" She shout anger and hurt filled her head. "I hate you! Don't ever speak to me again!" She shouted and then ran away.
"Sakura wait!" Li shouted after but was stopped by Tomoyo.
"Let her go Syaoran, and leave us all alone." She said simply. She wasn't sure if Li was the father or not, but keeping this a secret hurt Sakura, and when Sakura is hurt she is as well.
Tomoyo left the table leaving behind a very distressed Syaoran and a very guilty Eriol. "Sorry, that didn't go as I meant it to." Eriol said sincerely.
"I know." Li answered as he walked off. Leaving Eriol to his thoughts.
You've changed a lot Syaoran. I don't know what they did to you, but it's almost as if they've taken your will to fight, or maybe you've learned that fighting brings little good. Whatever it is I hope that we can help you through it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I guess most of the characters are OOC, but time has gone by since the series and this fic so they've grown a little. Don't worry Sakura and Syaoran will work things out, I think. Anyway Sakura will be playing a hard roll towards the end. Well please review. If this chapter doesn't get enough reviews then I'm probably going to stop this fic. I've been swamped with stuff so if no one reads this then I guess I won't write it. I need very honest reviews tell me what is good and what I need to improve on. Well enough of my rambling.