The other thing is, this has shonen-ai in it and at least the implication of yaoi. If you don't like or can't tolerate that then don't read.
Oh, and if Sephiroth seems too much OOC, just remember that he is Cloud, and that Cloud is Cloud. ^_^ hehehe! You can work it out. The other thing is, Sephiroth's Cloud would have initially been older than Cloud, otherwise the timeline doesn't work, no matter how hard you twist it. This is set after the end of the game.
:: :: Conversation happening in someone's head.
~ * ~
The Other World
By Jade Tatsu
Chapter 4 - Feelings
Cloud looked out at the snow that was gently falling. He figured Reeve would have expected him to run to Nibelheim, or try to lose himself in the crowds of the Gold Saucer or NEO Midgar but he had done no such thing. There were places in this world Reeve didn't know about and the Chocobo Sage was more than happy to bunk him and his gold chocobo down for a while. Reeve didn't know about him, he'd never come and the others were unlikely to suggest it as a place he could hide. It was perfect and the company of the Chocobo Sage gave him plenty of opportunity to sit and think and try to work his way through the tangled mess of events and the even more tangled mess of his emotions.
The events were easy really. Reeve considered him a threat and so either wanted him on side or out of the way. At the moment, the 'out of the way' option was Reeve's preference. Which means I probably should do everything in my power to be in the way. Cloud had not so vehemently opposed ShinRa to see it rise again with a new head. I won't let it be a hydra.
So his course of action there was easy. Hit ShinRa as hard and as fast as he could without getting caught. Show Reeve exactly why he was a threat. Perhaps he'd even go to Wutai and offer Lord Godo a hand if the war really restarted. I may never have really been a SOLDIER but I do know the ShinRa procedures and I do have the power of one. Cloud's blue eyes glittered viciously at those thoughts.
So what do I do about Tifa and the rest? There is no way they are going to sit around quietly and let this happen... What do I feel about them? Cloud saw the faces of his friends in his mind's eye.
Yuffie. The indomitably happy ninja girl was easy. She was a good friend, a skillful fighter. Someone he could rely on if he kept a close watch on his materia. If Reeve intended to come against him she would help until she was called back to Wutai. She was open like that, her loyalties and agenda's clear. A good friend, nothing more, nothing less.
Barret. The ex-leader of Avalanche had changed from the man who would stop at nothing to see ShinRa fall. His world got bigger, Cloud thought. Barret could still be rash and impulsive, ready to leap into action at the slightest hint of wrong doing but he could now also see the bigger picture, see the necessary evil ShinRa was, as long as they were changing, as long as they did not continue to be the corporation of old, raping the Planet for their own gain. But if Reeve is truly keeping ShinRa in the past, will he fight or will his concern for Marlene temper his actions? Seen from some angles Barret's concern for his child could be a weakness but Cloud didn't consider it such. It keeps him human, reminds him what is important in life. Barret had been a terrorist but ShinRa had committed similar acts. The only difference was Barret felt guilt.
He is a friend, Cloud decided. And he will fight if he knows Marlene is safe.
Nanaki. The great cat of Cosmo Canyon and its hereditary protector from the Gi. Cloud's feelings for him were also clear. He is a friend, someone I can go to for advice, even if he doesn't consider himself wise. Cloud closed his eyes. The last few times he'd spoken to the great cat by PHS he had been distracted, leading the battle against an upsurgent Gi. But he hadn't wanted help and Cloud, Cid and Vincent had respected that. I think he would be too busy to fight, providing ShinRa did not threaten the Canyon and I don't think they'd be dumb enough to do that. It's too much considered an almost holy place.
Cloud opened his eyes, looking back out at the snow. The dark could be comforting but now was not the time, especially when a different dark was closing in.
Cid. The pilot would hate this weather. The snow would clog the engines and the cold would make the craft unresponsive to the helm. Cloud could hear him cursing and could almost see the man's gruff smile and ever-present cigarette. He hoped they were all right. Cloud had been to the world above and below with the man and he deserved better than to be ShinRa's prisoner. And Shera... She knew about Cid and Vincent but there was a sparkle in her eye that said she knew more than she was letting on. She was still waiting for Cid to come home, knowing, rightfully so that she still had a place in his heart. Assuming he isn't captured Cid will fight. I guess that after Reeves effort he'll be more than happy to fight ShinRa again. Cloud sighed. If he was seeking attachment to this world he had not yet found it. Cid was still just a friend, a very good friend and while it would ache to leave him, leave all of them it was a pain Cloud could handle if the alternative was truly as good as it seemed.
Vincent. The quiet ex-Turk was an enigma. He was seemingly emotionless, cold and determined to atone for his sins but in the past year Cloud had begun to see another side of him. Maybe not as much as Cid, he didn't want that, but he'd seen the occasional quiet smile and a subtle dark humor. He'd also seen one or two glances that he was fairly sure Vincent didn't know he'd seen directed at Cid and in them his eyes had been soft and open. Their crimson depths no longer shining the colour of blood but more like the deep red sky at sun rise. He had changed but in many ways Vincent had remained the same. He will fight ShinRa. There were times I believe he was only looking for a reason but he is still nothing more than a friend.
Aeris. At her name Cloud's heart contracted. He couldn't think about the others without thinking about her, without thinking about... I should have saved you. I should have been able to do something! The achingly beautiful Cetera flower girl had the potential to be so much more. But I let you die...
::Cloud! Stop this!:: The command rang, loud and clear through his mind. It always did when he started thinking about his failure. ::I had to die Cloud. There was no other way. I'm so sorry I had to hurt you. I never meant it but I wanted you and the Planet to be happy. That couldn't happen if Jenova's Child won.::
Cloud shook his head sadly. He had heard it before. Aeris' beautiful voice speaking only to him, telling him why it had to be so. It still hurt though. He had been confused about his feelings then and they had only crystallized into painful clarity as Sephiroth left. The brunette, with her wide green eyes and shy smile was more than a friend. She could have held him here, provided an anchor to this world.
::I want you to be happy.::
Cloud closed his eyes briefly and answered a sad smile on his lips. I know you do but I don't know how...
Tifa. The brunette's desires were so easy to read. She wanted to heal his pain by providing him with a loving family by being his wife and presumably creating lots of little Tifa's and Cloud's. Tifa... I don't... I can't... Even in his thoughts it was awkward but his feelings were clear. I don't love you Tifa. Not like that and if we married you would eventually resent me. There. He'd thought it but there still remained a problem.
Tifa will fight for me but I don't want her to fight thinking I will come to her. It's only fair if she knows the truth of the matter. Tifa, beloved sister, I don't want you to resent my love for another. I have told you but please... Please... Please see what you truly feel and what I truly feel...
What I truly feel...
Sephiroth. Leader, betrayer, enemy, friend, lover.
There was something there, something more than the abiding hatred for the man who in his world had destroyed his life. Even more than Vincent the man was an enigma and Cloud's feelings were ambivalent. A dark hatred and anger, hot and wild, still clawed at him, demanding to be always associated with the name. He destroyed your town, he killed your mother, he tried to kill you, Tifa and Zack. He was responsible for putting you through hell and he used you. He tried to control you, force you to do his bidding, tried to make you kill Aeris. He. Killed. Aeris. Murdered her. Remember his smile? He enjoyed it. Hate it, hate him. He doesn't deserve anything else.
But then there was the other image, the other smile so alike but beneath eyes that shone so differently. Eyes that shone having known the pain of loss, eyes that called to him, that wanted, needed him but did not try to force his compliance. Eyes and a voice that offered him protection, a new life and a new love if only he could just see the difference between the two.
"Sephiroth," Cloud whispered, feeling the name roll off his tongue as he closed his eyes. The man's hauntingly beautiful image came to him. His image, the one splattered with blood, or the light, screaming as it shattered into a million pieces had been replaced by another.
Sephiroth standing in knee high grass, a veil of sorrow clinging to him. His hair and clothes snapping in the brisk wind and the ever present Masamune slung at his side. He turned, and Cloud looked into glowing emerald eyes that begged him, needed him and whose sorrow could only be ended by him. Sephiroth raised his hand slightly, reaching out entreatingly and he spoke, his voice rich and smooth, yet full of longing, "Come to me..."
Strength, protection, father, arrogance, desire, cruelty, safety, hatred, destruction, murderer, lover, demon, kindness, master, malice, freedom, capture, burden, evil, angel, rage, calm, pain, cherish, protect, adore, worship... love.
::I guess that answers that.::
Cloud paid his mental voice no heed. He was too busy trying to calm his ragged breathing and shivering body. He was covered in sweat. He could smell its acrid tang clinging to him. He staggered, struggling to stand as a wave of exhaustion hit him. Was the truth always so exhausting? And even now that he knew what could he do? That Sephiroth was in another dimension and he had no way of getting there. What was the good of loving the impossible?
::You should rest now. Solve one problem at a time.:: His mental voice was always wise but this time it did more than talk. It took over his trembling body and slowly walked towards where he had spread his blankets. ::In the morning,:: it said as he settled, ::we should probably go start annoying Reeve.::
Cloud didn't hear anymore. He was asleep, a smile on his lips as he anticipated a dream meeting with Sephiroth.
::No one ever listens to me.::
~ * ~
Cid looked around. He was in what Yuffie had dubbed the Board Room of the Highwind. It was plushly appointed but then it had been built at the height of ShinRa's power, and at the moment it was filled with friends. They sat around the table talking amongst themselves. It had been a while since they had gathered. Yuffie and Tifa were talking and occasionally laughing together. Nanaki and Vincent were locked in quiet conversation. The two of them were probably discussing something highly advanced and highly boring. Barret had his feet on the table and a scowl on his face. He didn't like being pulled away from Marlene for any reason.
Cid sighed. While catching up with everyone was nice, this wasn't a pleasure jaunt. They had things to do. Valentine seemed to sense his mood because he rose purposefully and brought his clawed hand down on the table to call order. He looked around as silence feel and then spoke. "We haven't called you all together for fun."
He was interrupted by Yuffie. "We're not all together yet. Where's Cait and Cloud?" The girl had no idea what was happening but she would learn.
"That is what we are going to discuss," Vincent informed her before Cid took over.
"First of all has Reeve said anything to any of you regarding Cloud's disposition?" Cid asked but was met by blank stares. "I guess it was just us then," he murmured but obviously not quiet enough.
Tifa looked at him sharply. "What happened to Cloud?" she gasped, those beautiful eyes wide with concern.
Cid shook his head. He didn't know what had happened between Cloud and Tifa but it had resulted in the woman living in Cosmo Canyon when he knew she'd rather be with Cloud. The kid hadn't really shown any signs of distress, just a slight sadness but nothing to say he was pining for the girl the way she obviously was for him. Poor girl... I guess her heart's set even if she knows it's hopeless. At least, I hope she knows, I hope that's why they separated because Cloud told her the truth. He looked around again. "That's why we're here. To discuss what's happened to Cloud and what's happening with Reeve."
That got everyone's attention and for the next little while he and Vincent related what Reeve had told them and what Reeve had done.
"Anyone know where Cloud would go?" The question was finally raised.
:He could have gone anywhere," Nanaki said with what passed for a speculative look. "I cannot think of any one place he would consider safe or safer than anywhere else. He would not have gone to Nibelheim though." Nanaki seemed fixed on that point.
Tifa nodded. "I know I wouldn't have. It's no longer home. Where would he have gone?" She questioned again quietly.
Barret's eyes flashed. "Finding the kid ain't important," he said with sudden ferocity and confidence. "He'll find us. What's important now is getting Yuffie to warn her daddy about ShinRa's intentions. We don't want that war restarted when we just got peace. It would make ShinRa that much stronger. After Wutai's been warned I say we go kick the crap out of Reeve for lying to us." Barret had been the Leader of Avalanche before Cloud had almost taken over by default. He did know how to make decisions. "And if Reeve doesn't listen to us, we replace him." His voice held a note of finality they weren't used to.
The table felt silent as they considered his words. Barret growled. "This is ShinRa we're dealing with here, not some nice organisation that you can talk to. They're gonna play rough so we have to be ready to play rougher. And if Reeve is now the head of ShinRa, then he's not Cait Sith anymore and maybe he never was. We're only going to get one chance at this, Cloud's escape has got them off guard, so I suggest we use that. We kick up a big enough ruckus, the kid'll find us."
"I guess that's what we'll do then, after we drop Yuffie off."
"Oww! Do I gotta?"
"Yes," most of the other's answered her forcefully.
~ * ~
Cloud awoke. ::Remember our conversation?::
"Yeah, yeah. I remember." Everything came back to Cloud, plus a few new worries. How was he going to tell the others he was in love with Sephiroth but not the Sephiroth they knew but one who had killed him to save his world?
::Why tell them at all? They don't need to know and at them moment that's not important. Ready to go say 'Good morning' to Reeve?::
"Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go kick over ShinRa's rock and see what comes crawling out."
::That's my boy.::
~ * ~
Getting to the east continent was easy. He may have a gold chocobo but it couldn't oceans but for a price the exploratory team who were returning to NEO Midgar with their newly excavated dinosaur were happy to give him a berth. It appeared archeologists would do anything for a price, except look into the present. He left them as they were beginning to unload the crates, almost continually shouting at the workers to be gentle.
He didn't remain in ear shot for long. Gold chocobo's could really eat up the distance and soon he was approaching the familiar darkness, the still drained land that signaled NEO Midgar. He fidgeted a bit as his Chocobo approached the city fence, pulling out the key he'd dug for so long ago. It should still work, the fence on that side was still intact and ShinRa wasn't that obsessive about keeping people in or out. Yet. It was only a matter of time thought. He was right, the key did work.
He left his chocobo at an Inn, paying handsomely for its lodging but even so he made it perfectly clear what would happen if the bird was not there when he got back. Blazing mako eyes could intimidate anyone and no one in Midgar or NEO Midgar ever crossed a SOLDIER if they knew what was good for them.
I'll go through the slums and then start climbing, Cloud thought to himself. It would be the fastest way of getting to the ShinRa building and Reeve wouldn't be expecting this. I wasn't going to hide forever Reeve and I'm not going to let you win.
He made it through the slums without a hassle and was about to begin climbing when the hair on the back of his neck rose... Trouble... But nothing manifested itself. Cloud glowered back into the shadows and the sense passed, probably a thief who had second thoughts.
The climb itself was easy, although not the one he remembered. Rebuilding efforts had changed the lay of the land but it had also provided scaffolding which made his journey easier. It was certainly less fragrant than the route Cait had shown them. Trust Reeve to know the bolt holes, Cloud thought as he approached the new ShinRa building. But they're not going to help him now.
He'd nearly gotten to the doors of the building when he was interrupted.
"Going somewhere Strife?" The voice was familiar and he already knew the scene that would await him when he turned. "I don't think you have an appointment with the President."
Turks - Rude, Reno and Elena.
"I'll make myself one," he replied, reaching for the Ultima Weapon, already muttering a spell as Elena let the energy flicker through her fingers.
"Let's finish this." The words were mutual.
To be Continued...
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