Disclaimer: The characters, items, places etc of Final Fantasy VII are property of Squaresoft Ltd. These objects are used without permission for entertainment only, not for making money. No infringement is intended.
This has shonen-ai in it and at least the implication of yaoi. If you don't like or can't tolerate that then don't read.
:: :: Conversation happening in someone's head.
~ * ~
The Other World
By Jade Tatsu
Chapter 15 - Wutai
::I love you,:: Cloud whispered again before he pulled back slightly. The warmth of Sephiroth in his arms, the scent of the mans hair and the pleasure of their cuddling was comforting but it was time to continue. Sephiroth had been diverted from his pain but the true pain of Nibelheim could not be held off. It had to be faced now, before they could continue, before they could truly begin anything.
Sephiroth sighed. ::I know... I know...:: "It's time to continue," he said aloud, a note of sadness in his voice. He drew back as well, closing his eyes as he turned around and then leant back, resting against Cloud's warmth. "I know what happened to you. Your world seems simpler somehow."
"It was anything but simple," Cloud said. "Jenova, ShinRa, Rufus, Hojo, Aeris, the Planet, the Weapons, Tifa, Avalanche, the Turks... They all had their own plans. The Chocobo's may have had a master plan as well, I don't know but it really was anything but simple."
Sephiroth smiled slightly. "I'm sure it wasn't but what I meant was while you were bound by your desires, you weren't further bound by your memories. At least, you had no memories of what /had/ been."
Cloud nodded slightly, wrapping his arms around Sephiroth and lowering his face to the crest of the white haired mans head and inhaled deeply the plain but unmistakable scent of Sephiroth's hair. It was a fruity scent but in no way feminine. It was beautiful.
"After what happened in Zack's room, I'm surprised ShinRa couldn't read everything in me but they didn't and they didn't see anything in Cloud either. It was, that time... wonderful. The war with Wutai was still active but at that time there was a lull and ShinRa didn't have me running all over the continent quelling rebellions for once so I could spend most of my time with Cloud. Cloud still had his training as a SOLDIER pre-lim but that wasn't really as important to him as it had once been."
It was Cloud's turn to smile. "If the choice between /the/ SOLDIER and becoming a SOLDIER was mine, I know which /I'd/ pick."
"Cloud continued training though, even though he wasn't being officially trained. It was better that way. The idiot trainers at ShinRa didn't know how to train him. They taught brute force and your physic is one that requires skill. They just didn't know how to teach someone with a small build. Zack and I did though, so even though Cloud wasn't attending his 'lessons' he was still improving to the point where, when he went to his lessons he mostly ended up teaching his instructors," Sephiroth sniggered but his voice was sad when he continued.
"That's what caused the problem. Not with ShinRa - what did ShinRa care about one Cadet? - but with the other Cadet's and with those idiot teachers. Cloud cried in Zack's room when we got together but those tears I didn't mind. I only ever saw him cry one other time and those tears, I will never forget, nor forgive."
Cloud stroked a comforting hand down the length of Sephiroth's hair but said nothing as he waited for the white haired man to continue in his own time. And they had all the time in the word now.
"It was /my/ fault. If I hadn't of... If I didn't..."
Inwardly Cloud sighed. There was so /much/ pain, Sephiroth had hidden if for so long and now he /had/ to let go of it if they were to continue. These 'what if's...' would solve nothing and were only bringing him more pain. "I've already told you about the past," Cloud said softly. "You can't change the past, you can just accept it. What is past, is past and wondering what could have been can only bring pain. I'm here now and I /know/, the other me never blamed you. /Never./ There was no fault. There is no blame. You did /nothing/ wrong, you were there for him as you will be there for me. Tell me what happened, and let go of your pain and then we can begin." Cloud continued to stroke Sephiroth's hair as he spoke but his other arm tightened around the stiff body that was laying against his own.
"Cloud..." Sephiroth choked. "It hurts..."
"I know. It always hurts and it will always hurt but I am here now and while the pain will never go, I will bear it with you." Cloud didn't know where the words were coming from but they seemed to be the right things to say to Sephiroth so he didn't question them.
::And exactly where do you think you're getting a lifetime of experience of dealing with him from, hmm?::
::You!:: Cloud cried out silently. ::I thought you had left.::
::I have but since Sephiroth has a lifetime of dealing with you, it really wouldn't be fair for you to enter a relationship with no knowledge of him so I left you a little bit. But before that knowledge could come forth you had to accept me as yourself. Anyway...:: Cloud's internal voice continued with a definite grin in his tone. ::This should be the last time your memory talks to you. You'll find some of the information I've given you way more interesting that mere memories. Hehehehe! Bye-bye!::
::More... interesting...?::
::Use your imagination, Idiot!:: A selection of images assaulted Cloud's mind, almost causing him to choke as he struggled to control his bodies reaction.
::NOW IS NOT THE TIME!!:: He screamed, mentalling indicating towards the dejected Sephiroth.
::I know, but after he tells you his story, he's going to need some serious comforting and a very solid reminder that you are here and that you aren't planning on leaving. It's your choice of course, I can only suggest. This time though, it's really Good-bye.:: Cloud caught the impression of a waving hand before the other him faded.
"It was my fault, Cloud," Sephiroth's words brought Cloud's attention back to the present. "What happened, happened because I was there. It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't of interfered that day." Sephiroth blinked, sighing. "Zack and I had gone to watch the cadet's training. It was expected that we see what the potential SOLDIER's were like but we had deliberately picked Cloud's group. I'd use any excuse to see Cloud, without ShinRa suspecting.
"Training!" the white haired man snorted. "The training showed us absolutely nothing, except that the training Zack and I were giving Cloud was far superior to anything ShinRa's instructors could dish out. Cloud was holding back, I know but at the same time he didn't want to disappoint me so he didn't hold back as much as he previously had. He roundly and easily defeated his fellow Cadet's and then, when the instructors tried to make an example of him, he defeated them. I was so proud. This was /my/ Cloud. I remained proud and happy until I saw one of the instructors moving to punish Cloud.
"He'd seen it too, I know it and there was a look in his eyes that said he expected it. That angered me and angry I acted. You'd be amazed at how eloquent seven feet of steel can be. I didn't have to say a word. But what I didn't say was enough. They knew... They all knew, I was protecting Cloud. And that was enough," Sephiroth sighed the last.
"After we left, they attacked him. Not physically because I'd know about that but what they said, what they implied was enough. Cloud didn't come to my room until late that night. He was usually waiting for me. I was /so/ worried. I was about to get the entire garrison to search for him ShinRa finding out be damned, when he came. I knew that something was wrong immediately. Neither of us could hide from each other but he was stubborn. He wouldn't tell me, even when I made it an order. So I ignored it and went about the evening as if nothing was wrong."
Cloud shivered. Sephiroth knew him too well. That would be the way to get him to talk, especially if Sephiroth was being solicitous and he had the feeling that Sephiroth would have been that in spades.
"It didn't take that long but he still didn't tell me much, he just began crying. It nearly killed me and I don't say that to be dramatic. I knew then that I never wanted to have him cry because I was the cause. When I did find out what had happened I ordered those idiots thrown out of ShinRa. I was going to order them into combat at Wutai or have them executed but Cloud refused to have them killed no matter how much I wanted to do it personally and give their heads to Cloud as a gift. But I guess in the long run, banishing them from ShinRa was a better alternative. For people trained to be professional soldiers, there is not a lot of work outside of ShinRa and for the cadet's it meant returning to their homes in shame.
"After that everything seemed fine and it was after that incident that we decided it would be best if Cloud left the SOLDIER pre-lims..."
"We..?"
"Cloud and I talked about it before the decision was made. I didn't just order him around you know. It wasn't like he'd listen to me anyway if I tried that."
"I'm glad to see I maintained some sense."
"I wouldn't say that," Sephiroth tilted his head as he looked at Cloud with soft smile. "But you maintained your stubbornness, you wouldn't move out of the line of becoming a SOLDIER but there was always more than one way."
"More than one way..?" Cloud frowned. "I don't understand. There was only the Pre-lims, wasn't there?"
"Not here there wasn't. It might have been on your world but here there was another way for those Cadet's who were considered... different, special. There were the Pre-lims but that was mostly just for everyone and most of them failed but if someone was considered deserving or gifted then they could be put through a set of tests and then sponsored into the SOLDIERs. The tests were designed to see that the individual was capable of becoming a SOLDIER, you know, mako infusions, psyche evaluations and the like. After all, being sponsored meant you were definitely going to be a SOLDIER so you /had/ to be physically capable. Sponsored is perhaps the wrong word, it was more of an apprenticeship..." Sephiroth trailed off looking at Cloud. "Cloud..." he breathed. "What's wrong?"
The blond took a deep breath, forcing back his tears and his pain that had reappeared at Sephiroth's words. "I didn't..." he gulped. "I didn't fail at becoming a SOLDIER?" he questioned quietly as a single tear did escape. He'd never forgotten how much he wanted to get into the SOLDIER's, he'd just learnt how to and had to deal with that pain a long time ago. After all, through Hojo's intervention, he was a SOLDIER of a sort. It was just that his beloved's words were bringing back that pain, pulling it back into sharp focus. He closed his eyes against the pain.
"Cloud..." Sephiroth whispered, leaning forward to wipe away the tear. "I don't know what exactly happened in your world, but here you didn't fail, in fact, you may not wish to hear this now but your test results were phenomenal. And if they were that here, I'm sure they were in your world and that it was something else that interfered." Emerald eyes closed, sending Cloud a wave of reassurance through their bond. ::Cloud, that pain... Let it go... It's over.::
::I know...:: Cloud mentally sniffed. ::But I... I /wanted/ it so much. It hurt.:: He opened his glowing sapphire eyes again, proof that he /was/ a SOLDIER, looking at Sephiroth, whose face was composed in peace as he comforted his love. ::I wanted it so much. It was the only way I had to be with you.::
Sephiroth's eyes snapped open in surprise and locked with blue for an instant before he surged forward, enclosing Cloud in his arms, resting his cheek on blond spikes. ::You're with me now and I won't let go.:: "You're /mine,/" he snarled the word, tightening his grip as Cloud returned his embrace. "It doesn't matter what world you're in, you belong to me and I'm not letting go."
Cloud muzzled into Sephiroth's chest letting his body relax as he repeated the word, 'mine.' He given himself to Sephiroth a long time ago but this was the first time he had been claimed and something in him eased. Some worry, an ache, the knowledge that he was /accepted/ drowned the worry that he wasn't good enough, that despite the fact that he had given himself, he might be rejected. //'...belong to me...'// he repeated in his mind. Yes, he belonged to Sephiroth and that knowledge was comforting because he knew he'd never be alone again.
"Mine," Sephiroth growled the word once again. "Always mine. Always, no matter what tries to take you away." His emerald eyes burned fiercely and he trembled slightly at the force of his words but he could feel Cloud's acceptance and feel the sadness in Cloud diminishing but he didn't want to let go. "Always..." he said again before taking a deep breath to continue his story. He, like Cloud, knew that it had to be told now, before anything else could interfere. This Cloud had to know the truth about his previous love.
"Zack was your sponsor. Despite all the evidence they had been presented with ShinRa still didn't know the truth then and it made sense for Zack to have an apprentice. It would have been suspicious for me to have an apprentice. After all to ShinRa I was the perfect SOLDIER, I looked down on the rest of humanity, I couldn't suddenly take one as a student. Getting sponsored into the SOLDIER's got you out of the line of fire, as it were, of the other Pre-lims but... I don't know what really happened. I guess it was a combination of things although the blood tests ShinRa had on you were probably the deciding factor.
"ShinRa needed someone to bond with Jenova and because they couldn't find a woman who was capable I guess they ran a search through /all/ their data bases and of course, the only candidate they found who was suitable was Cloud." The last was said in a tone of mockery but it was directed inwards. Sephiroth breathed deeply, sighing as he continued. "There was nothing I could say about it, nothing I could do. I was Jenova's Child, ShinRa's perfect General and the only reaction I was allowed to have was to be pleased that they were resurrecting my /mother./
"I tried to talk Cloud out of it. I tried everything I could think of since ShinRa couldn't do it if Cloud wasn't willing. I tried to reason with him, I tried getting Zack to talk you out of it. I even tried black mail but nothing worked. I guess all the weeks I spent convincing you that I really did love you worked against me there and while I can't prove it I'm fairly sure that ShinRa was holding /something/ over Cloud. So in the end, I stood there, with the Apocalypse Sword and watched as you merged with Jenova. I watched as my entire world was destroyed and the only reason you had given me was that you were doing it for me.
"I know how much you wanted to be a SOLDIER but I didn't need that. If I had gotten my way I would have taken you out of the Pre-lims, out of sponsoring, out of ShinRa all together. Either that or I'd have had you declared some special non combat rank. I don't know. I didn't need you to be a SOLDIER, I didn't need you to be anything, I only needed you to be you, to be there for me. That's all. Merging with Jenova was not something either of us wanted but in the end that's what happened.
"After you had merged with Jenova there were weeks of tests. I only saw you for a few minutes in that entire time and never in private. I was probably ripping the place apart in frustration and Zack couldn't tell me anything either. ShinRa wasn't allowing anyone near their new General.
"The first time I got to see you, really see /you,/ was when they ordered an end to the Wutai War. It had been dragging on and I guess they wanted it finished. Cloud had... changed. He wasn't the same. Even Zack noticed that but ShinRa was happy with the result. I remember the final battle...
"Fifth Troop, don't let them escape into the tower, or we'll have to fight our way up."
"We're on it, General Strife."
"DIE ABOMINATION!"
"Too slow, Wutai," the blond General spat the word as he danced aside swinging the Masamune in flat arc at the Wutai soldier ending in a solid thunk. Glowing blue eyes narrowed as Cloud turned with a sneer to face the rest of the Wutain troop. He raised his left hand, and gestured. "Come," he invited with a smile.
"Die, ShinRa."
Cloud continued to smile as the entire troop charged at him. This was the end game and the streets of Wutai were painted with blood. This troop would just add to the colour.
Duck low and turn and the Masamune spills more blood upon the stone. Jump high and lash out, kicking hard at two soldiers who fall and entangle others. "Weak. You are too weak." He landed and drove forward, slashing upwards. He ignored the screams of pain his attack was causing, watching dispassionately as blood splattered upwards on the walls. The sight aroused something in him, something that laughed at the blood, revealed in it. But the same thing that was laughing at the blood was disappointed at the ease with which it was spilt. It was too easy, there was no challenge and while victory would always be assured there should be some small challenge in destruction.
He paused, falling into a formal posture facing the troops commander as the last of them fell around him. "Weak. They were all to weak. Can you provide a challenge?"
"Commander!"
"No!" Cloud snapped, turning slightly and releasing a Fire 3 spell at the Wutain officer's reinforcements. "No, no interference."
"I wouldn't have it any other way," the officer replied, matching Cloud's stance with his own.
"Good," Cloud purred the word before they joined in combat.
Swords, both a similar long katana design, locked for an instant before they leapt back, each landing carefully on the slippery cobbles. They circled looking for an opening and assessing the other. Blue eyes snapped happily, meeting Wutain brown. "You can't win against me, you know. I am eternal."
"I've heard of you abominations, you SOLDIER's. The Planet cries out against you. Mako is not meant for that."
"I'm not a SOLDIER. I am something more and as for the Planet... It belongs to me already. The Cetra lost /that/ war a long time ago. The Planet is mine to devour as I please."
"Not if you're dead ShinRa, and I will pay with my blood if that's what it takes to kill you." The Wutain moved deliberately, turning to face Cloud side on with his sword held horizontal and pointed directly at his blue uniformed opponent.
Cloud blinked at the move. It wasn't a standard Wutain manoeuvrer but this human thought that it would be effective. It was bound to be interesting at the least. Humans could barely fight but occasionally they could provide some entertainment.
"This is my families move, ShinRa. It will kill you, even if it costs me my life."
"It will, Wutai, it will," Cloud smirked falling into a general ready position. "Come," he invited again, something darker looking out from his eyes.
The officer shifted position slightly, fixing his footing and breathing for a moment until he was ready. One blink and he charged, feet hammering the slippery ground but his overall body position remained the same, charging Cloud side on, his sword horizontal. At the last instant he thrust his sword forward, using one hand to give him a formidable reach.
Blue eyes narrowed, in the sudden silence of the charge considering before an infinitesimal shrug and he shifted. It was time to educate this human and the watchers he could feel. It would hurt but pain was nothing but the proof of life. With a calm smile Cloud spread his legs and raised his arms, the Masamune held to the side as he waited in an open position for the attack to connect.
"What..?" The strangled question came from several places but by the time it was uttered it was already too late, the Wutain officers attack had connected with ShinRa's General's body.
"Urg..." Cloud cried out, taking a step backwards but remaining standing.
"What is the meaning of this?" The officer questioned harshly, releasing his hand from his sword hilt, leaving the blade impaling the General. He watched his opponent in disbelief, not even worried as his unarmed state as more ShinRa troops lead by one of the other Generals poured around them.
"This..." Cloud coughed blood and spat it on to the ground, raising one hand to wipe his mouth but ineffectually smearing the redness over his chin. "This is your education."
"Cloud!"
"Stay back Sephiroth. This is nothing." As Cloud spoke more blood trickled from his mouth but his voice displayed no pain. The blond glanced at the black clothed man before fixing his gaze on the officer who had wounded him. "This is nothing. I am eternal." He moved his left hand to the blade that was impaling him and gripped the slippery surface. Dispassionately he began to pull it from his body, adjusting his grip several times before the bloody steel was completely free of him.
"This is nothing," he repeated, gesturing to where the wound should have been.
His uniform was ripped and bloody and his skin was coated in his sticky life force but what the troops, Sephiroth and the Wutain officer could see was that the wound itself was gone as if it had never been. Over the course of seconds it had healed.
"That's not possible..." Sephiroth breathed. "Not even SOLDIER's heal /that/ fast."
Glowing blue eyes glanced once more at Sephiroth. "Like you Sephiroth," Cloud paused, silently mouthing several words before he continued. "I am not a SOLDIER. I am more than that." He turned back to the Wutain. "Do you see? You have no hope."
With a causal move he tossed the bloody blade back to the officer, moving his own body into an attack position. "Now, prepare yourself. It's over."
The Wutain Officer held his sword vertical gripping it with both hands almost in a position of prayer before he leapt forward a battle cry loosened from his lips as he meet Cloud's attack.
There was the clang of steel against steel and a crunch like boots on broken glass and for a moment it looked like they were equal but then the Masamune emerged from the back of the officer and his body fell forward, collapsing around the blade that impaled him.
"It's over," Cloud repeated.
"It's over," the officer agreed as he spewed blood every where. "But in a way you can't see. You're dead, Jenova. Where I have failed, your host will not." The officer raised his head and looked briefly into Cloud's blue eyes before his gaze shifted and brown eyes held green. "You cannot... fail," he gasped as Cloud twisted the Masamune's length within his body. "You cannot fail in this, Sephiroth," the name was spat with a hatred his race felt. "The one you protected is dead." As the final word left his lips he fell, light vanishing suddenly from his eyes.
Cloud stepped back, angling the Masamune down, watching as the body slid off the blade to lie in the blood that surrounded them. "It's over Wutai." He turned to look at the Pagoda and held up the bloody Masamune. "This is ShinRa's victory." Around him ShinRa troops cheered as Wutai fell but one general was silent, his gaze sorrowful as he examined the body of his beloved, searching for any sign of life.
Sephiroth coughed. "That's how the Wutai war ended. Jenova/Cloud was brutal and they didn't have a chance. I didn't understand what that officer meant then but I quickly discovered it. And now, in memory I know that's when Cloud died. I /should/ have struck then and ended his pain because he told me, in words he spoke but could not say a loud, he /told/ me then who he was, what he had become. 'Like you Sephiroth, /my Son,/ I am not a SOLDIER.' He /said/ that and I didn't even notice it."
"You could not know it then, Sephiroth. And even if you did, I'm sure ShinRa wouldn't have let you get close enough to do anything about it," Cloud spoke quietly, closing his eyes as he reluctantly accepted the memories. They were painful but if he was to live his life here then they had to come his. He tightened his embrace of Sephiroth and once again checked that he was sending an almost continual barrage of love and support at the white haired man through their link. It was all he could do. "ShinRa, Jenova, Hojo. They are the ones to blame. You did nothing wrong. Everything that happened can be attributed to them. It was /their/ fault."
He spoke the words without knowing the full truth but he knew they couldn't be wrong. He and Sephiroth had played their parts, yes, but they were unwilling participants in Jenova's and ShinRa's play because while Sephiroth had said that he had willingly merged with Jenova, Cloud knew, his memories were telling him, that Sephiroth had been correct. ShinRa had been holding something over his head and it wasn't Sephiroth. He had been willing but at the same time coerced and the role he had played was Jenova's, not his, so the blame lay with her.
Sephiroth nodded shallowly before continuing in a broken voice. "And then... And then there was Nibelheim..."
And then there was Nibelheim. Cloud nodded understanding now what ShinRa had held over him. Nibelheim. /His/ town. His mother. His friends. His life.
"It all ended there, in Nibelheim..."
To Be Continued...
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Well, hope people have enjoyed this chapter. Next up is the story of Sephiroth's Nibelheim and Jenova and Cloud and what happened between them all. It was meant to be this chapter but Wutai got in the way. More sadness and more destruction coming up! Woohoo! Destruction, destruction, destruction!!!! ^_^ Grin.
Please leave me a review! I love reviews and it's really the least you can do if you enjoyed this chapter. You can tell me what you thought of it.
Jade Tatsu.