This has shonen-ai in it and at least the implication of yaoi. If you don't like or can't tolerate that then don't read.
:: :: Conversation happening in someone's head.
The Other World
By Jade Tatsu
Chapter 17 - Crucible
"What are you doing?" The question came from both Zack and Sephiroth as they skidded to a halt inside the inner chamber of the reactor.
Jenova was already standing on the middle gantry of the tiered room, she paused slightly looking back at them as they entered. The room was lit in red but small round patches of blue, the portholes into the reactor proper gave off a softer illumination, giving the room dark shadows in between the blood red chambers. The two generals continued their pursuit but stepped more carefully now that they had sight of their target.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Jenova snapped at the question as she mounted the steps to the inner reactor. "This reactor is exactly what I need. It's time I kept my promise to the Cetera."
"But they're dead!" Zack objected.
Narrowed blue eyes looked down at Zack with a somewhat sardonic amusement. "Not in the Lifestream they aren't. You can't hear them?" Jenova began mounting the stairs again. "Besides, ShinRa couldn't seriously expect me to be their puppet forever and this particular reactor is perfect. The irony is just too much!" She laughed. "The Cetera swore I would never get the Planet but I will use one of them to take what is rightfully mine."
Jenova looked into the central chamber running one hand lovingly over the glass. "My Planet," she whispered with Cloud's voice in a soft husky tone.
"It's not yours."
"But it is, my son. It is yours too." Jenova turned to face them. "ShinRa is no longer necessary. This Planet is no longer necessary, the stars are calling." She held out her hands, blue eyes hardening. "I am the Star Eater, and I hunger."
"Jenova, if that's who you really are, where is Cloud?" Zack snarled the question, drawing his buster sword.
"Cloud is dead." She answered Zack's question while dismissing him with her eyes, looking at her son. "Sephiroth, the stars are calling, they are crying. I was meant to be among them, with them, not stuck on this dust ball. The Cetera knew that, that's why they feared me. I am of the Universe, they were of the Planet and the two of us could not co-exist. I must return to the Universe, my tasks are unfinished and this Planet is stopping me. The stars call, they need me and I will destroy this Planet to reach them."
Sephiroth shivered hearing a voice so familiar speak in such a cold tone and see the familiar body held in such a posture. "You can't..." He began, not really sure what he was saying or even what he was trying to say.
"I can and will my son."
"No!" The voice was a scream and was accompanied by a shadow falling from the ceiling, a shadow trailing a battle flag of long hair.
Jenova moved, although her movements seemed languid as she reached her hand to her shoulder, pulling the Masamune free of the strap that held it across her back and angling the great blade upward at her attacker.
"Ugah!" The shadow screamed, arms and legs failing as cold steel ran through their body.
Jenova braced herself, moving to hold the Masamune with both hands and spreading her legs to brace herself and the sudden dead weight she was supporting. With a growl of effort, she swept her sword down before her, flinging the body away.
The shadow slammed hard against the reactor wall and then came to rest in a patch of red light. They clutched their belly with one hand but the other was raised feebly towards Jenova. //Tifa...// Sephiroth's mind provided him with the name as he looked carefully at her.
".../no/..." she croaked, her legs slipping on the floor as she struggled to push herself upright against the wall. ".../cloud/..." She coughed blood but was too weak to wipe it away and it trailed down her chin, staining her shirt. ".../give them back/..."
"Don't talk," Zack implored her as he reached her side, gently cupping her head and placing his other hand over her wound, assessing the damage. He looked up at Sephiroth but made no gesture. The sadness in his eyes said everything, but despite that a green glow shimmered between his fingers as he wove a cure spell. She might be doomed but he was still going to fight.
".../give them back... give me my father.../" Tifa continued to struggle weakly. ".../murderer... cloud... give them.../" As the curative spell took effect she fell unconscious, her eyes never moving from Jenova, and never softening from the glare of hatred she was directing at the form, not even with pain.
Jenova looked down that the proceedings, meeting Tifa's gaze squarely with a look of cold superiority on her features. Sephiroth stood frozen on the middle gantry, looking back and forth between Jenova and Zack. He wanted to help Zack but the couldn't let Jenova, let Cloud get into the central chamber or else it would all be over.
"Jenova..." he began, nearly choking on the word. It made it sound as if Cloud really was dead and he didn't believe that, would never believe that.
She looked down at him, raising one of Cloud's eyes brows in what he would have once called an adorable display of curiosity. As it was, it was a gesture of cold calculation. "My son?"
He gestured around him. "Is this really what you want? Think hard Jenova, you have been on this Planet for years, do you really want to destroy it?"
She looked at him in confusion. "The stars are calling, can you not hear them? They call and I will answer them."
Sephiroth snarled, shaking his head and giving himself a silver halo. "The stars are not calling," he rebuked. "They are /screaming./ They do not want you. They know that what you are is wrong, that you should have died long ago and that we, in our ignorance have made a huge mistake. We should never have woken you, ShinRa shouldn't have opened that door. The stars are screaming, Jenova, they are screaming for your death."
"Amusing," she stated, moving the Masamune into a guard position as Zack rejoined Sephiroth on the middle gantry. He had moved Tifa to the outer chamber where hopefully she would be safe from the battle that was to come.
"I've done what I could for her," he said quietly to Sephiroth. "She might make it but it will be close." He looked up at where Jenova stood, wearing Cloud's body. "Now to get my apprentice back."
"Amusing," Jenova repeated. "You think you have a chance against me? My son, if I must fight you for you to understand, then so be it."
Both Zack and Sephiroth leapt in the same instant bringing their blades down on Jenova. She meet their attack, catching both swords with the Masamune and holding them there with a strength that seemed absurd for such a small body. With a savage upward swipe she threw their attack off, and jumped to land below them, balancing easily on the gantry railing.
"Tsk!" she scolded them. "Neither of you put your heart into that attack. Human sentiment is so pathetic."
"Jenova," Zack said in a deadly quiet voice as he began stalking towards her. "You are going to die. The body you wear is not your own and will reject you."
"You can give Cloud back of your own accord, /mother,/" Sephiroth joined the conversation, fervently hoping that Cloud could hear them and was fighting Jenova. "Or we will beat you until you cannot survive and then take Cloud."
"Even assuming you could defeat me, killing me will just kill whatever remains of Cloud. But since he is already dead, you will achieve nothing."
"Wake up Cloud," Zack called as they leapt to attack again.
They meet in several more attacks but each time Jenova threw them off. They only succeeded in forcing her down to the reactor floor where, with the greater manoeuvrability she was forced to draw the combat knife that was strapped to her thigh to meet their attacks coming from both directions.
"Nothing," she muttered as she countered their attacks. "This will achieve you nothing. Join me, my son," she invited when they locked into position, turning her attention to her son. "You can even keep your human pet."
"Cloud," Sephiroth began, looking into familiar blue eyes. "This is a direct order from your General and I expect you to obey." He spoke the words clearly and with the air of authority that made him one of ShinRa's most feared troops, the perfect SOLDIER. "You are to immediately destroy the creature known as Jenova. Failure is not an option."
An amused expression flashed across Jenova's face as she looked at him but after a moment she blinked her smile turning into a frown. Her eyes narrowed and as they drew back into ready positions her attention seemed turned inwards. After a few moments of silence, she looked up at her son, meeting his gaze with one of hatred. "An interesting ploy, my son. Trying to wake what remains of your lover, but it will not work. I told you, he lies dead within me, he could not contemplate the glory of the song."
"I think it worked better than you want to admit, Jenova," Zack said with a smile. "The song of the stars is not something Cloud would be afraid of." He jumped forward, to cross swords with her again.
They exchanged several blows before Zack leapt back to his original position, leaving Jenova trapped between him and Sephiroth. "You seem weakened, Jenova. Your host stronger than you thought, hmm?" He questioned with a confident smile. "Cloud, wake up. Feed this bitch the Song of the Stars until she can't take any more and then rip her apart and come back to... What?" Zack snarled, turning his head and stumbling slightly as an almost visible wave hit him.
"An opening!" Jenova rejoiced and jumped.
"NO!" Sephiroth jumped as well but he knew he would be too late.
Zack turned back and began raising his sword to meet the attack but Sephiroth could see that he knew he wouldn't be in time. Jenova hissed in triumph as the Masamune hit home and with a shift of weight she twisted around and ripped her sword free of Zack's body as she jumped back, away from Sephiroth.
The white haired man caught Zack as he fell. "Damn spell," he muttered. "You'll have company soon, Seph."
"What..?"
Both Zack and Sephiroth looked up sharply at the question. The voice that spoke was Cloud's, free of Jenova and his face was filled with concern.
"What have... /NO!/ Get back!" Cloud's features twisted
in a snarl as the two personalities struggled for control. "It's not possible,"
Jenova growled. "What ha...?" Cloud began before he fell silent, once again
the struggle rendering him unable to speak.
"Cloud..." Sephiroth began but was over ridden by
Zack.
"Cloud, I know you can hear me. You have done nothing," Zack looked up at his friend with a smile, despite the blood that was seeping between his fingers. "Jenova did this but you can do something for me now, do the same to her. As I said before, feed her the Song of the Stars she is so fond of and then rip her apart. I know you can do it Cloud. You're going to have to stand beside Seph when ShinRa gets here."
Jenova let out an anguished cry before Cloud blinked, once, twice, confused at what he was seeing. "Z... Zack..?" The question was weak but the voice was wholly Cloud's. "What have I done?"
Zack coughed with what would have been a laugh as he looked into Cloud's clear blue eyes. "I always did have to repeat myself around you," he said. "I told you, you did nothing."
Cloud shook his head, stepping backwards. "No..." His eyes were wide with horror at the evidence before him even though Zack was reassuring him. He'd done this. He'd run Zack through, no matter what his dread-locked friend was saying. Sephiroth was there too, supporting Zack but the silver haired general's head was bowed as he sought to tend the wounds of the other. "No..." Cloud said again, taking more steps back but he knew, no matter how many steps he took, he couldn't escape the truth. He shook his head again but he couldn't remove his eyes from the scene before him. "No..." he cried once again as he forced his eyes to look elsewhere and almost wished he hadn't.
He knew where he was. The Mount Nibel reactor. But knowing where he was didn't dampen his horror. In his effort not to see Zack his eyes fell on the one other place he knew instinctively he didn't want to see. While the light was red and there were dark shadows on everything, he could make out a dark stain on one of the reactors central canisters. It was a stain in one of the relatively well lit areas of the reactor core and it was a stain that he knew he'd caused again. Blood. It was smeared against the canister but his eyes couldn't find a body. "I didn't..." He said in denial. It didn't matter who it was. It didn't matter that he couldn't see the body, he'd most likely killed someone else.
"No..." he whispered once more as he fell to the ground.
"You are right Cloud, you did nothing wrong. It was Jenova." Zack repeated the sentence forcefully as he watched Cloud's reaction, knowing the thoughts that were running through his friend's head.
"Cloud." Sephiroth spoke finally. "It /was/ Jenova," he repeated Zacks reassurance.
Cloud shook his head again, refusing to look up. "No, you don't understand," he whispered brokenly. The Masamune lay across his lap. He'd done these things, yes but he knew there was another influencing him. Jenova. He remembered everything, everything she had said, everything she had felt, even the Song of the Stars that was screaming for her death. He remembered and he could feel her. She was still there, still within him but for the moment she was silent, his grief was standing in her way.
He'd merged with Jenova for Sephiroth, so that they could stand against ShinRa. He had what he wanted, the power to oppose ShinRa but this was not what he wanted. This was wrong. His body had become hers and her body had become his. Not even a reverse procedure could separate them now. They were eternal and inseparable. What she did, he did.
"She's still here. She's still in me." He tried to explain to Sephiroth and Zack but he knew, no matter what words he used they wouldn't be enough. He knew what Sephiroth had ordered him to do and he knew what Zack had said but he couldn't do it. He could but she would not allow him to do that. Even now she was raging against the barriar his grief and anguish had made and he knew he couldn't hold her forever. The Star Eater had the strength of worlds, even if she didn't admit her time was over. That's what he could hear in the Song of the Stars. He could hear her death, he'd heard it from the moment he touched her. And that was his salvation. She didn't know. She didn't know she was tied to his potentially mortal flesh. And perhaps that was all he needed.
He'd done these things. There was no way to undo them but he could pay for his sins. And Jenova, who used his body would pay as well. That was the only way. It would hurt and he didn't want to give that pain to Sephiroth but it was the only way.
He giggled although it sounded like a gurgle. "She's still here," he repeated as he looked up tiredly, tapping his chest. "I can't... I can't get rid of her. Sephiroth, Zack... I'm sorry... I can't obey you." Blue eyes closed.
"Cloud..." Sephiroth smiled at him. "It's okay. Just stay with me."
"/That/ will not be possible." Jenova slowly opened her eyes as she looked up. They were hard and glittered viciously. Her expression changed too, back to one of superiority although the air of calmness, of the absolute assuredness she had about her power was gone.
"It /will/ be possible," Zack said as he looked up at Sephiroth. "You have to fight her, Seph. Leave me, you have to fight her. I'll be fine," he added as Jenova rose, and held the Masamune before her. He murmured a few words and a pale green glow flickered around his fingers. "Cloud's there, you just have to bring him home."
Sephiroth nodded before he rose and stepped in front of Zack. "You didn't sound so sure, Jenova," he baited her. "I guess you are beginning to realise what I have always known: Cloud isn't one to take lightly. Even if he can't get rid of you, he can hold you so that I can get rid of you. And that will be enough."
Inside his body Cloud shook his head and he would have cried. Sephiroth didn't understand what it would take to get rid of Jenova. He could hold her as Sephiroth suggested but when the blow came it would take them both. //I don't want to do this...// he screamed but he knew it was the only way. He didn't want to give that pain to Sephiroth but there was no other way. He couldn't be free of Jenova but the world /had/ to be freed of her. It was the only way. //Sephiroth... Sephi... roth...// Even his thought's broke on the name that meant so much to him. //Forgive me.//
"Shall we begin?" Sephiroth asked when Jenova was silent, holding the Apocalypse sword before him. It's materia glittered dully as he sent a burst of power into them.
Jenova smiled wanly. "Yes, I think we should, my son. It's time I showed you my power."
With defiant screams they clashed.
It was not an even battle. After the first few passes that become clear. It was close but it was not even. Jenova's responses were slow, she saw Sephiroth's attacks but there was always a slight hesitation before she moved in defence. The white haired man said nothing about it, he just continued to push her back, forcing her out of the inner reactor and away from Zack. When they reached the ante chamber he mounted a particularly fierce attack, forcing Jenova to retreat through the room quickly and providing her with no opportunity to use Tifa as a shield.
"A little bit more, Cloud," he murmured. He didn't usually talk this much in combat. He knew the value of distracting your opponent with words but it wasn't a tactic he used. Silent contemplation and a lightning swift attack were his preferred methods but he spoke now for Cloud, to let him know that he was waiting and that he would wait, for however long it took to get rid of Jenova. He would always be there for Cloud. No matter what.
//Yes, just a little bit more.// Cloud agreed silently, even as he forced Jenova's arms to slow. He'd done nothing more than interfere with her reaction time. What he had planned had to be a surprise to her or she would regain her balance and the opportunity would be lost forever because he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out against her attack. //Just a little bit more, Sephiroth. Drive her back just a little bit more.//
"I'm not going to let you do it, Jenova," Sephiroth said with a cold smile as they approached the pipeline gantry. "And I will free Cloud," he added as Jenova tried to avoid being forced on to the narrow walkway. While it was the only way out of the reactor, waves of heat shimmered around it from the open mako pit beneath it.
"No matter how far you retreat Jenova, I am not going to let you escape. Just give up and give Cloud back to me."
"You have much to learn, my son. You beau might be hindering my movements but he won't be able to forever. I know more ways to attack the mind than he does. I will destroy him soon."
Cloud grimaced at her words. They were the truth except he would destroy her first. The knowledge brought him a cold knot of satisfaction. //Sephiroth, please understand... Forgive me,// he pleaded, as he measured how much further Sephiroth had to push before nothing could save her. Two more steps. Two more steps before Jenova wouldn't be able to save herself.
Sephiroth swept his sword through a horizontal arc. One step. Jenova feinted but was blocked before swinging the Apocalypse Blade at Jenova's shoulder. No steps. Cloud smiled grimly and struck. It was just a little thing but it would be enough.
Sephiroth saw it as he thrust forward. He saw it and his green eyes opened wide with horror as he realised Cloud's plan. Jenova felt it as she dodged but despite the knowledge she couldn't help snapping blue eyes towards the ground to confirm what she already knew.
"No!" The scream of denial was ripped from two throats before an almost serene silence fell upon the reactor.
Sephiroth stepped back. There was nothing he could do, he could only watch. Jenova didn't struggle. She couldn't, he saw that immediately because looking out through wide blue eyes was Cloud. Slowly, it happened so slowly but in reality it was blindingly fast. One misstep, Cloud had caused her one misstep and now they would both fall into the mako below.
"He smiled." Sephiroth choked on the word as a single tear fell from his emerald eyes. "He looked up at me and smiled. I can still see it now. I /killed/ him but he /smiled/ at me. It would have been better to hear Jenova's curse. When he smiled at me he thanked me but he was saying he was sorry as well. I could see the sadness there. He didn't... He didn't want to make me do that but he knew it was the only way. I guess now I know it was the only way as well. But somewhere I wish he tripped us both into the reactor..."
"/Don't /ever/ say that again!/" Cloud's voice was harsh and even though he was holding Sephiroth he trembled with emotion. "Don't. He didn't want to give you that pain but don't make it worse than it is. Do you really think it would have been better if you both died? Who would have stood against Jenova when she returned? He didn't want to do it to you but it was the only way. Even you know that."
"I know..." Sephiroth whispered. "But I would have given almost anything at the time for that to be true. I still remember his smile and I can still remember his words. He smiled at me when he lost his balance - thank you and I'm sorry - and as he fell 'I love you.'"
The white haired man paused but history was nearly told out so he had to continue. "He said nothing apart from that, didn't say a thing even as he hit the mako. After that... After that, I don't really know what happened. I don't /remember/ it but I know Zangan must have passed by me because he took Tifa to safety. That actually was the only thing that saved her. And then there were troops. I can vaguely recall them entering the reactor but the next thing I truly remember is waking up in Midgar.
"Hojo was there. So was Shinra, and Rufus too. I thought that was unusual but they were there to find out what happened to their General so I guess it was natural. I didn't even have to lie to them. I just told them the truth, that Cloud had woken within Jenova. That's all I said and they made up the rest themselves. I think Cloud waking up within Jenova was about the only thing they had foreseen could go wrong with their plan of mergence. Hojo said something about it being unlikely but possible and without any other explanation they accepted that as the truth.
"I remained in ShinRa. I didn't have a choice about that. After the failure of their experiment the scientists were on thin ice. The only thing that saved them was the 'controller' they placed in me. It ensured that I had to be loyal to ShinRa. After all, they could hardly afford to lose all three of their Generals so soon after the Wutai War. The only thing I know about the controller was that it was a piece of Jenova and it hurt like hell if I tried to disobey. It was very effective and ensured that I 'belonged' to ShinRa as they put it.
"And after that, it was five years before I saw Cloud again but this time there was only Jenova. The first thing she did was cut out the controller. She hadn't come to kill me, it was more along the lines of torturing me. She killed Shinra and then I joined up with Tifa and Avalanche..." Sephiroth sighed, tilting his head back and looking up at Cloud. "After that... after that, well, that should be roughly the same as your universe..."
Cloud nodded bowing his head slightly placing a kiss on Sephiroth's lips. //That's what happened,// he thought as the final memories came to him. His five years of torture were for Sephiroth five years of serving ShinRa. Everything was alike, not quite the same but similar. Similar pains, similar joys, similar hopes. '...roughly the same as your universe...' "Probably," he said drawing back slightly before he kissed Sephiroth again. The past had been told it was time now to build a new future. He ran his tongue along Sephiroth's lips, his intentions clear. The white haired man didn't open his mouth but Cloud felt him smile before he broke their kiss and turned himself around to face Cloud.
With a grin that showed his canines he pushed Cloud backwards using his greater mass to hold him pinned. "My Cloud," he whispered before he initiated a kiss but this time he was demanding entry to Cloud's mouth.
"Yours," Cloud agreed when they both drew back for breath.
"Only mine," Sephiroth said, again taking Cloud's lips, determined, /this time,/ never to let his lover go. //Mine.//
To Be Continued... (Believe it or not, I ain't finished yet.)
Well, hope people have enjoyed this chapter.
Please leave me a review! I love reviews and it's really the least you can do if you enjoyed this chapter. I won't say 'Read and Review' since you have already read. So REVIEW! You can tell me what you thought of it.
Jade Tatsu.