Beyond the Rivers of Jordan
Book 1: River Crossings
Chapter 2
JAG Internal Network
Log entry no: 20016347
"Some decisions aren't meant to be made. They're forbidden."
User ID: Harm
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, VA
"Are you okay with our decision?"
Her eyes darted up at him, trying to hide her panic, "…w-what?"
Harm realized the mistaken interpretation, and quickly explained, "…the case! Not appealing the case!"
"Oh! Yeah…yes! I mean. It was the right call…"
"Its not like a life sentence…" he tried to affirm.
"No," she shook her head, "Its not…" and turned to continue back to her office when she was sure he had nothing else to add. But Harm moved suddenly, catching her by the elbow. He held her eyes with his, looking into them questioningly.
"You're…sure?" he appealed.
She felt scared, small under his gaze. For a moment there was hesitation, then she managed to muster up a response convincingly enough, "Yes, Harm…I'm sure."
Mac pulled free, turning her back towards him.
He watched her walk away.
**********
Latham's Office
Washington, DC
"…you scared the hell out of me, Webb," Bobbi said as she tossed her things onto the large wooden table and began pulling off her scarf and trench coat.
"Who on earth comes in to work at this ungodly hour?" she commented, obviously not pleased by the surprise visit, or unwanted intrusion.
"Apparently you and I," Clayton mused, at which Bobbi shot him a stern glare.
"This IS my office, Webb," she frowned.
He got out of the chair and began pacing aimlessly around, unconcerned with her remark.. Bobbi looked on annoyed then said, "You know I could have you arrested for trespassing…"
"You could," he casually replied, completely unaffected.
"Or I could just trash your undercover punk ass right here right now!" she blew off before continuing to unpack her briefcase. Bobbi had gotten used to such behavior from Webb, and he in turn had become accustomed to her harmless threats. They never acknowledged it, but truth was they were allies. Webb had never done anything to damage her, and if slightly not without good reason; and she had never done anything to hinder his work unnecessarily. Unfortunately, up in Washington that was more than enough to consider someone your friend and Bobbi sighed nonchalantly to herself.
She walked over to her desk, never taking her eyes off the fellow pacing up and down her office.
Ally, she reproved.
***********
AJ's Office
So far, most of the international cases were being co-handled by Harm and Mac. They were his best after all. At the same time, he worried that it wasn't the best for both of them right now. They seemed to be handling everything well and good; cases were handled exceptionally, Renee and Mic seemed alright with the arrangement, no additional postponements or breakups just yet. Still, he wondered how things had been since Mac returned.
"More approvals, sir."
AJ was still deep in thought when Harriet's voice came through the door. He asked her to come in, slipping his glasses back on to see what she had for him. She handed the crisp paper sheets to him one a time, letting him scan through each one briefly.
"…and I've already keyed in an ID for you into the network...here's the password…if you need any help with anything, Caroline will explain it to you…"
AJ pulled of his glasses and squinted at the small scrap of paper.
"Adm_Chegwidden?" he looked back at Harriet curiously, "…not too impersonal?"
"Well, sir…you could go by A.J. or Jethro, but I ran it by Bud…"
"And?"
"He thought it'd be 'cool', sir…"
"Adm_Chegwidden it is!" AJ sighed, then went back to signing the papers, grumbling to himself.
"Harriet…"
"Yes, sir?"
"…here? Okay…Harriet, how has Mac been doing?" AJ asked as he continued signing the sheets.
"...Sir?" Harriet wondered at his question.
"You know, since the last trip out?" AJ said as he handed the last sheet back to Harriet.
"Well, sir…" she thought for a moment, then replied, "She did say she was worried about how Commander Brumby would feel about the ring….but last I heard when she explained things he was understanding about it."
"So she's recovered from the recent ordeal?"
"…I'm not sure, Admiral…of course she was affected, Mic says she seems better…but then again you know the Col., she never really says much, except to Har…Commander Rabb…and er…that was before…I don't things ever got back the way it was…"
"Hmm." AJ put his palms together, "Harriet, is there anything I should know about?"
Harriet hesitated for a little while before answering, "Not that I know…officially, Admiral."
"Anything I should worry about?"
Harriet paused again before answering, "Permission to speak freely, sir?"
AJ nodded allowing her to continue, "They've been having problems since Harm's quals…Mac doesn't say much, but it seemed like she was angry... They used to take AJ out…they've stopped altogether…but I suppose with Mic and Renee...it puts extra strain on their relationship."
"And Indonesia?"
"Admiral, the moment we received news, Harm was in bad shape…me and Bud sat with him for hours waiting to hear about Mac..."
Harriet didn't have to say much more. AJ knew enough.
"That'll be all, Harriet. Thank you."
AJ turned to resume his work, but stopped again when Harriet turned.
"Admiral."
"Yes?"
"Do you think the wedding…" Harriet didn't finish her question.
AJ exhaled, then replied, "That's for her to decide."
They were quiet, both thoughtful as Harriet left the room.
************
Latham's Office
"So?" Webb finally came round to asking, breaking the tense silence.
"So what?" she replied and continued unpacking, trying to irritate the other back.
"Bobbi!" he raised his voice.
"Alright!" she lifted her hands in truce before facing him to get down to business, "I'm not so sure I want to take this one, you and I both know I stand to lose a great deal if it falls through…"
************
Mac's Office
"AJ! Come back here!" Harm shouted.
Mac's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of commotion coming through the open door from the corridor outside. And before she knew it her small godson clad in flannel peejays came wobbling in as fast he could, his pampers bobbing up and down. Mac laughed at the little one coming towards her, and with one sweep scooped him into her arms.
"Awnt Sewah!" he giggled, trying to wiggle from her grasp.
Mac took a deep breath, "Mmmm…you smell good, sweetheart," and cuddled him tightly, nuzzling behind his ear and earning herself a fair amount of struggle and a hefty serving of his contagious laughter,
"…nnooo…awnt Sewah!"
Mac gave him a lingering peck on the forehead, taking in another breath of the fresh scent of baby shampoo. Then she paused to look at him lovingly,
"Hey you."
"Hway…" baby AJ managed to mumble back as he quickly became distracted by the square metal on her collar, fiddling with it in his hands.
"What are you doing up so late?"
He never failed to make her smile, no matter how sad she felt… his puppy dog eyes that carried within both that happy, mischievous glint and sweet sincere innocence all at once; the long curly lashes and deeply set dimples; his tiny snub nose and his fine brown hair. That small agile frame and fragile little hands…how she longed for that.
With your looks and my brains he'll be perfect.
And what if she has your looks and my brains?
"That could work too…"
Mac was startled out of her reverie. For a while she could almost hear him talking to her, then she sure she did. Harm moved away from the door frame he had been leaning on, slightly frantic that he had said that aloud, even if just a whisper and barely audible.
"I er…didn't want to sabotage the moment," he explained, then began moving towards the two.
"…he just dropped by to say hello…didn't you, AJ?" she patted his tiny chest.
I say that contract is null and void.
AJ continued playing with her badges, taking an exaggerated breath before giving a disheartened sounding, "yweah…"
When Harm and Mac laughed at his silly and illogical antic, he blushed red and shut his eyes tight, lunging forward to fling his arms round Mac's neck playfully, burying his head into her neck and bursting into giggles all over again.
Why? It still has three more years to run.
Mac felt Harm's gaze grow serious, and when she looked up at him she saw that same longing in his eyes as he placed his hand on AJ's head.
"We haven't been this way for a long time," he meditated.
Mac didn't reply and slowly put AJ down. The little one absently thread his tiny hand through hers as he fidgeted on the spot observing the room for something else to play with. Mac set her eyes on him for a while longer and watched Harm affectionately stroke his silken hair back and away from his face.
"You suppose we'll have one of our own someday?" Harm spoke softly.
They both didn't react to the implications of the question, but pondered it within the confines their heart, choosing to pretend its reference was to a future with someone else.
"I hope so," she replied, "…someday."
They held each other's gaze. No words left to speak. Baby AJ slipped his other hand through Harm's, then yawned sleepily, his eyes becoming a little glazed.
Mac sighed, with both contentment and sadness, reaching to caress AJ's cheek,
"Come on sleepy head…what do you say we go find Mr. Snuggles?"
AJ briefly let go of Harm's hand to rub his tired eyes, nodding, then he moved it back to its former place, holding on tighter to his godparents as he walked in between, following them out the door.
Don't make a promise you can't keep.
***********
Latham's Office
"On the other hand you stand to gain tremendously if it succeeds," Webb reminded her as he fiddled with the bronze paper holder on the desk.
"IF it succeeds…" she reminded him, taking back the metal disc and slamming it back down onto her table.
"Hey, big fish mean big risks," he shrugged, "No pay no gain."
"Oh you're one to talk! I'm the one who'll be taking the fall," she rebutted.
"There's one condition though…" Clayton added much to Bobbi's annoyance, "…don't involve him."
***********
JAG Headquarters
She was standing by the window, the lights from outside casting shadows that fell down onto her pale skin in muted patterns. They seemed to twist and move each time a car went by, as though invisible hands were ravaging her. Even with the lights inside turned off he could feel her, and see the reflection of her tear stained face captured in the glass. He wanted to run over, to hold her and to comfort her, but he didn't dare, thinking she may reject his offer. So he remained rooted to where he was, heart reaching out, tracing the shimmering outline of her figure and entwining itself in the whispers of her hair. Wanting to share in beholding the depth of her eyes, to look into the tears that were there…
Let me in.
"Commander? Commander!"
"…w-what?"
"Sir, did you hear anything I just said to you?"
"I'm sorry, run that by me again?"
"Sir, are you feeling alright? You seemed a little spacey just now."
"Yeah, I'm fine, Bud, just…"
"We could do this some other time, sir…the hearing isn't until Monday…"
Harm stopped twirling the pen he had in between his thumb and index finger, then yanked his feet off the table, replying, "No, Bud, we agreed that we'd get this done by tonight…I'm sorry, I'm probably just a little tired out…why don't we take a break for a while, have some dinner and some coffee then finish up here?"
"Alright, sir…if you're sure you're up to it."
"I'm up to it, Bud…just let me get some coffee and I'll see you later."
"Aye, aye, sir," Bud closed up the file and got up to leave, "You sure you're alright, sir?"
"Just fine, Lt." Harm replied.
He watched as Bud closed the door behind him, then leaned back into his chair.
I'm waiting.
***********
Latham's Office
"Are you out of your mind?" she shot back, "How am I supposed to go about this without him!"
"Look, I know how this seems…Bobbi," he tried to cut in between her arguments, "Bobbi, listen to me…Bobbi…CONGRESSWOMAN!" he shouted.
"WHAT??" she shouted back.
Webb took a deep breath to calm himself, then replied, "Listen to me. The nature of the situation is that his presence may create a whole load of larger problems as we go along…"
"Like what!" she interrupted defiantly, causing Webb to lose his cool momentarily,
"What do you think!" he scolded, "argh…" then tried to suppress the frustration again.
***********
Mac's office
Mac had her arms crossed, standing by the window looking out onto the JAG grounds. Remembering. She heard a couple of light raps on her door, ones she recognized easily, and adjusted on the spot to face the door.
"Ma'am?" Harriet's head popped in.
"Harriet, its after office hours…" she reminded the blonde headed Lieutenant.
Harriet pushed the door open further to let herself in, then shut it again quietly.
"Is he asleep?" Mac enquired.
"After that run with Harm? Oh yeah. Definitely," the other replied.
At the mention of his name, Harriet saw Mac's face fall.
"Sarah, are you okay?" she asked.
Mac sighed before replying, "Of course I'm alright, Harriet, why wouldn't I be?" then she turned to face the window once again. It felt too much like that night.
Harriet took a couple of steps nearer towards her concerned, "Anything I can do?"
Mac turned around fully to face her, leaning against the windowsill with her arms still crossed. She joked mildly, "Shoot me?"
"Mac…" Harriet frowned then, walked over to take a hand, "You can talk to me you know?"
Mac blinked sluggishly, then said, "I know, Harriet…I'm just not sure I should even be thinking about it."
Harriet opened her mouth intending to refute that statement, but Mac stopped her from finishing, the latter wasn't sure she could keep herself from acknowledging the truth much further.
"Hey, its okay…I'm just not ready to talk about it that's all."
The other looked somewhat disappointed by the reply, but decided not to push it further, "You know where to look if you do."
Mac nodded, giving Harriet's hand a tight squeeze then folding her arms back up.
"So…did you want something?" she changed the topic.
"Harm and Bud are taking a break. Bud's gonna drive out for some dinner, just wanted your order," Harriet replied.
"I'm not that hungry," Mac shook her head, "…how bout just a soda?"
"Not even a burger?…no?…okay then, "Harriet sighed, "Coke," giving Mac a shrug as she turned to leave.
"Oh! Harriet, I just remembered…" Mac stopped her, "there is something you could help me with…"
"Anything, sweetie," Harriet's face brightened immediately.
"Mic and I made an agreement not to…er…you know," Mac explained slightly embarrassed, "I was wondering if I could crash at your place till the wedding…I won't be in the way…"
"Of course its fine, dear! I'd have you over anytime…you know that," Harriet replied, "besides, it'll be cool," she gushed, "…like a girly slumber party…just you and me!"
Mac was grinning, then her face fell back into a sudden frown, "Oh no…" she whined.
"What?" Harriet questioned, taken aback by the sudden reaction.
"I totally forgot about Clo!…she's coming up on Monday…"
"Is that all?" the other replied, "That's okay! Then it'll be you, me and Chloe…"
"I can't do that, Harriet…" Mac argued, "you know that girl can be such a hand full."
"Nonsense! It's fine, she can have the smaller room downstairs."
"You sure?"
"Absolutely. So when can I expect you over?"
"I'll start packing some things tonight…maybe tomorrow or the day after?"
"Alright, don't bother with too much…we've got towels and what not…" Harriet added, then glanced through the door's glass window, seeing Bud on the other side, "…'kays, Bud's waiting, I'd better get going…"
"Yeah, I'll see you in a bit…" Mac replied, "Thanks, dear."
"You're welcome, honey…oh and check on baby AJ will you?"
"Sure…" Mac nodded, then began turning towards the window once more, when she heard Harriet call to her to add,
"Mac," she said, "…you have a lot of people who care about you."
The two women shared a warm heartfelt smile, then Harriet closed the door to leave Mac to her thoughts. The latter sighed as she gazed aimlessly into the night, sinking into an invisible sea of questions.
I need a better reason.
***********
Latham's Office
"Latham…" he continued.
"Okay okay…I know," she replied, "I can only imagine what lies to be uncovered…but you and I both know that they're a package deal. You buy one you get the other damn one free! And as of yet I don't trust anyone else to be able to pull it off…and you know you don't either."
"So we'll find someone else to trust! There's always…" Webb tried to suggest.
Bobbi registered whom he was implying, and remarked, "Is that even possible? Okay…scratch that, you guys can make anything possible. What I don't get is why you won't let me risk it?"
"Look, even if I agreed, the wedding is coming up, you think either one will agree to it?"
"Hey, that's for them to decide! And I'm just saying let's try it out and see what happens! Besides, he may not even go with it in the end!" she argued.
Bobbi watched Webb's movements, stubborn disagreement written all over them, so she reminded him, blatantly jabbing at his shoulder,
"And don't forget! You came to me! Not the other way around!" and then deliberately continued with a stab at his ego, hoping to put the ball in her court, "…To be honest, I'm starting to wonder if the heartless spy is beginning to grow a conscience…"
She succeeded.
"Alright! Alright!" Webb threw his hands up in surrender.
"You win!" he conceded, at the same time cautioning her, "…Play it how you like, so long as the prime goals are not compromised…"
"Of course…" she agreed.
"And you stay within the perimeters which I lay down…"
"Your show…" she affirmed.
"And let the congresswoman so note that I have voiced my objection to the intended course of action, and still strongly advise that an alternative solution be found."
"So noted." Bobbi smiled.
Webb sighed, then stuck out his right hand, "Congresswoman."
"Mr. Webb," she acknowledged.
They shook hands.
"I think we're in business," Bobbi stated.
"God help us," he muttered, then re-emphasized, "You do know that I'm going to do my very best to dissuade him…"
"Oh yes…I completely understand…" she assured him.
"Just checking…" he concluded weakly.