Dawn knocked once on Buffy's door the next morning. "Buffy?"
"Dawn? Are you alone?"
"Yeah."
The door opened a crack and Dawn pushed it the rest of the way open then shut it carefully behind her.
Buffy was making her bed. Xander was nowhere to be seen.
"Where is he?"
Buffy nodded towards the bathroom. "He just washing up a little."
"Oh." Dawn nodded slowly. "So, what's going on? Do you know what he's here for?"
Buffy looked startled. "Uh, no. H-he hasn't said anything about it. And I don't think we should pry."
Xander came into the room just then. "Hey Dawnster."
"Hi." Dawn watched as he went over to the dresser, accidentally bumping into Buffy. They both started.
"Sorry," they said simultaneously.
Xander cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. He went over to the mirror and smoothed down his hair.
Dawn glanced at the corner and noticed there was a blanket and a few pillows. The pillows had no dents in them and the blankets were perfectly straight and unwrinkled. Slowly, Dawn put two and two together and blurted out, "Did you guys have sex last night?"
Both of them whirled to face her, looking taken aback.
"What? No," Xander said quickly. "Where'd you get a crazy idea like that?"
"W-well the blankets are all unwrinkly and you guys are acting weird around each other..." Dawn trailed off. "And I'm jumping to conclusions, aren't I?"
Buffy nodded. "Uh, listen, why don't you go down to the kitchen and make sure Willow and Tara don't come up here?"
Dawn obediently went downstairs.
"It was so weird," Willow was saying to Tara when Dawn entered. She stood at the counter pouring milk into a bowl of cereal. "I mean, it was more of a vision than a dream, you know?"
"What are you guys talking about?" Dawn asked, sitting on a stool.
Willow glanced at Tara. "I just saw this weird image that last night I went into Buffy's room to check on her. Maybe I was sleepwalking. But she was lying in bed with a guy who looked a lot like...Xander." She sighed. "Maybe it was my mind and what I was seeing just mixing together crazy pictures."
Dawn nodded quickly. "Yeah, that was probably it."
+++
"Alright, let's go," Buffy said. She climbed out of the window and hopped easily down to the bottom.
Xander took a deep breath and followed, feeling the tree for branches thick enough to hold him. Suddenly, the branch he stood on snapped beneath his weight and with a shout, he fell. But Buffy was there, and helped cushion his fall as best as she could.
"Ow," he muttered, getting to his feet. He glanced at her quickly. "Thanks for the save."
"No problem." She shoved him playfully. "You're still a klutz, you know that?"
Xander pretended to look offended. "No I did not know that." He pretended to trip over a crack in the sidewalk.
Buffy laughed.
The two walked on, joking and laughing until they reached the Magic Box. It had been closed up for a long time as they decided what they were going to do with it.
Buffy unlocked the door and they went inside. She made sure all the blinds were closed.
Xander sat at the round table and Buffy sat beside him.
"So what-"
"Hey!"
They both whirled in their seats to see Spike standing by the door that leads to the training room.
"You're supposed to be dead!" Spike ran forward and grabbed Xander by the collar. "A vampire, eh? Well, I'd like you to know that I can beat up vampires!" He raised his fist.
"Spike no!" Buffy shoved her chair back getting to her feet. "He's not a vampire."
"Oh. A zombie then?" Spike raised his hand again and Xander winced, ready to duck.
"No, Spike, let him go. He's just back. Sort of. Just for a little while."
"Oh." Spike let go of Xander. "Sorry `bout that. You see the dead walking around..."
Xander nodded. "I know."
Spike rubbed his hands together. "So what's the deal?"
"Unfinished business," Buffy and Xander said in unison. They glanced at each other then quickly looked away.
Spike nodded slowly. "I see. Well, I don't care so..." He turned to walk away.
"Oh wait!" Buffy cried after him. The vampire turned around. "Spike, you can't tell anyone about this. The only people who know are us three and Dawn and I'd like to keep it that way."
"Uh, sure." With a tight smile, he left.
"For some reason I don't feel comfortable having Spike know," Xander said.
Buffy waved her hand. "He won't tell anyone."
"Okay." Xander sighed. "So back to what we didn't start to talk about."
"Right." Buffy paused, tapping her fingers on the table.
"Alright, I'll start." Xander closed his eyes. "I think it's best if we just spend these next days apart. If we're together then it's just going to add to everything when I leave."
Buffy nodded. "You're right. You're absolutely right." She shook her head. "But I don't like it." She sighed. "You know, I happen to have the crappiest timing in the world."
Xander chuckled. "Can't argue with that. Why do you always fall for dead people anyway?" He had meant it as light hearted but Buffy winced. "Sorry. Didn't mean to bring him up."
"It's okay. I guess we can't talk about this without bringing him up. Not to mention Anya..."
"I love her. I loved her a lot." He half smiled. "Enough that even being here with you doesn't take away the pain of knowing where she is. Enough to face my fears of commitment. But with you..." He rested his hand on her cheek. "I could marry you right here right now."
"I-I think I could too," Buffy replied, putting her hand over his. "Even though I still love Angel...I think it's good that he's in L.A. I'm starting to heal. And maybe starting to forget a little." Suddenly, she leaned forwards to kiss him on the lips. "Damn it, you should know that I can't be that close to you without kissing you."
Xander grinned. "Now I know. And I'm not complaining." They kissed again.
"I can't stay away from you for today and tomorrow," Buffy said when they pulled away. "Now that you're back, I can't know that you're out there and not be able to...do this." She made a small trail of kisses down his cheek and neck.
Xander laughed. "Again with the not complaining."
Buffy suddenly looked at him seriously. "I'm scared."
Xander looked directly into her eyes and could see the fear. "I know."
"I don't know if my heart could take losing you again. I mean, we could joke now but when those last few minutes are coming..." She swallowed hard. "I think I might die right along with you."
Xander shook his head. "Oh come on, Buff, I'm sure you'll manage."
"Oh yeah, just as well as I managed when I sent Angel to hell?"
Xander grimaced. "Oh yeah."
"You know, I think you're the only person who has made me want to live and die at the same time."
"No," Xander said fiercely, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Buffy, I don't want to make you want to die. This is why I have to go now." He started to rise but Buffy grabbed his hand.
"Xander, please stay. I-I don't want someone seeing you who shouldn't. It would put you and the rest of us in too much danger."
Xander sighed and reluctantly sat back down. "Fine. I'll stay here. But we can't be close like this."
Buffy nodded. "You're right. Listen, why don't you stay here and I'll go back home. They're probably wondering where I am. Hopefully Dawn came up with something."
+++
"Uh, Buffy?" Dawn stammered, her mind frantically swirling, trying to come up with something. "She, uh, she's..."
Willow raised her eyebrows. "She's...?"
"She's with Xander. I-I mean, she went t-to go visit his grave." Dawn swallowed hard. "You know, see how the tombstone turned out and stuff."
"Oh." Willow nodded. "I was thinking about doing that today too." She glanced at Tara. "Maybe we should go now so we can catch up with Buffy."
"But you can't! I-I mean, she probably, uh, wants to be alone and..." Dawn caught sight of Buffy quietly entering through the front door. "Look, she's home already." She hurried to her sister and loudly asked, "Buffy! Back from visiting Xander so soon?"
Buffy looked stricken. "What? I wasn't visiting Xander."
"No silly," Dawn said with a forced laugh. "I mean you went to his grave, right?"
Buffy saw Willow and Tara standing in the doorway to the kitchen watching the scene with confusion. "Oh," she said, getting it. "Right. Yeah."
"What did it say?" Willow asked as Buffy came into the kitchen.
"Um, I-I don't really remember," Buffy told her after a second. "I, um...kinda wanted to block it out of my memory you know?"
Willow nodded. "Yeah. I understand. Maybe I'll go down there later today."
"Yeah." Buffy hoped that the tombstone was indeed up today. Then her eyes widened when she realized who might visit. "Oh God."
"What is it?" Tara asked.
"I, um, forgot. I have to go take care of something." She left, running to the cemetery as fast as her feet would take her.
**************************************************************************************
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"Dawn? Are you alone?"
"Yeah."
The door opened a crack and Dawn pushed it the rest of the way open then shut it carefully behind her.
Buffy was making her bed. Xander was nowhere to be seen.
"Where is he?"
Buffy nodded towards the bathroom. "He just washing up a little."
"Oh." Dawn nodded slowly. "So, what's going on? Do you know what he's here for?"
Buffy looked startled. "Uh, no. H-he hasn't said anything about it. And I don't think we should pry."
Xander came into the room just then. "Hey Dawnster."
"Hi." Dawn watched as he went over to the dresser, accidentally bumping into Buffy. They both started.
"Sorry," they said simultaneously.
Xander cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. He went over to the mirror and smoothed down his hair.
Dawn glanced at the corner and noticed there was a blanket and a few pillows. The pillows had no dents in them and the blankets were perfectly straight and unwrinkled. Slowly, Dawn put two and two together and blurted out, "Did you guys have sex last night?"
Both of them whirled to face her, looking taken aback.
"What? No," Xander said quickly. "Where'd you get a crazy idea like that?"
"W-well the blankets are all unwrinkly and you guys are acting weird around each other..." Dawn trailed off. "And I'm jumping to conclusions, aren't I?"
Buffy nodded. "Uh, listen, why don't you go down to the kitchen and make sure Willow and Tara don't come up here?"
Dawn obediently went downstairs.
"It was so weird," Willow was saying to Tara when Dawn entered. She stood at the counter pouring milk into a bowl of cereal. "I mean, it was more of a vision than a dream, you know?"
"What are you guys talking about?" Dawn asked, sitting on a stool.
Willow glanced at Tara. "I just saw this weird image that last night I went into Buffy's room to check on her. Maybe I was sleepwalking. But she was lying in bed with a guy who looked a lot like...Xander." She sighed. "Maybe it was my mind and what I was seeing just mixing together crazy pictures."
Dawn nodded quickly. "Yeah, that was probably it."
+++
"Alright, let's go," Buffy said. She climbed out of the window and hopped easily down to the bottom.
Xander took a deep breath and followed, feeling the tree for branches thick enough to hold him. Suddenly, the branch he stood on snapped beneath his weight and with a shout, he fell. But Buffy was there, and helped cushion his fall as best as she could.
"Ow," he muttered, getting to his feet. He glanced at her quickly. "Thanks for the save."
"No problem." She shoved him playfully. "You're still a klutz, you know that?"
Xander pretended to look offended. "No I did not know that." He pretended to trip over a crack in the sidewalk.
Buffy laughed.
The two walked on, joking and laughing until they reached the Magic Box. It had been closed up for a long time as they decided what they were going to do with it.
Buffy unlocked the door and they went inside. She made sure all the blinds were closed.
Xander sat at the round table and Buffy sat beside him.
"So what-"
"Hey!"
They both whirled in their seats to see Spike standing by the door that leads to the training room.
"You're supposed to be dead!" Spike ran forward and grabbed Xander by the collar. "A vampire, eh? Well, I'd like you to know that I can beat up vampires!" He raised his fist.
"Spike no!" Buffy shoved her chair back getting to her feet. "He's not a vampire."
"Oh. A zombie then?" Spike raised his hand again and Xander winced, ready to duck.
"No, Spike, let him go. He's just back. Sort of. Just for a little while."
"Oh." Spike let go of Xander. "Sorry `bout that. You see the dead walking around..."
Xander nodded. "I know."
Spike rubbed his hands together. "So what's the deal?"
"Unfinished business," Buffy and Xander said in unison. They glanced at each other then quickly looked away.
Spike nodded slowly. "I see. Well, I don't care so..." He turned to walk away.
"Oh wait!" Buffy cried after him. The vampire turned around. "Spike, you can't tell anyone about this. The only people who know are us three and Dawn and I'd like to keep it that way."
"Uh, sure." With a tight smile, he left.
"For some reason I don't feel comfortable having Spike know," Xander said.
Buffy waved her hand. "He won't tell anyone."
"Okay." Xander sighed. "So back to what we didn't start to talk about."
"Right." Buffy paused, tapping her fingers on the table.
"Alright, I'll start." Xander closed his eyes. "I think it's best if we just spend these next days apart. If we're together then it's just going to add to everything when I leave."
Buffy nodded. "You're right. You're absolutely right." She shook her head. "But I don't like it." She sighed. "You know, I happen to have the crappiest timing in the world."
Xander chuckled. "Can't argue with that. Why do you always fall for dead people anyway?" He had meant it as light hearted but Buffy winced. "Sorry. Didn't mean to bring him up."
"It's okay. I guess we can't talk about this without bringing him up. Not to mention Anya..."
"I love her. I loved her a lot." He half smiled. "Enough that even being here with you doesn't take away the pain of knowing where she is. Enough to face my fears of commitment. But with you..." He rested his hand on her cheek. "I could marry you right here right now."
"I-I think I could too," Buffy replied, putting her hand over his. "Even though I still love Angel...I think it's good that he's in L.A. I'm starting to heal. And maybe starting to forget a little." Suddenly, she leaned forwards to kiss him on the lips. "Damn it, you should know that I can't be that close to you without kissing you."
Xander grinned. "Now I know. And I'm not complaining." They kissed again.
"I can't stay away from you for today and tomorrow," Buffy said when they pulled away. "Now that you're back, I can't know that you're out there and not be able to...do this." She made a small trail of kisses down his cheek and neck.
Xander laughed. "Again with the not complaining."
Buffy suddenly looked at him seriously. "I'm scared."
Xander looked directly into her eyes and could see the fear. "I know."
"I don't know if my heart could take losing you again. I mean, we could joke now but when those last few minutes are coming..." She swallowed hard. "I think I might die right along with you."
Xander shook his head. "Oh come on, Buff, I'm sure you'll manage."
"Oh yeah, just as well as I managed when I sent Angel to hell?"
Xander grimaced. "Oh yeah."
"You know, I think you're the only person who has made me want to live and die at the same time."
"No," Xander said fiercely, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Buffy, I don't want to make you want to die. This is why I have to go now." He started to rise but Buffy grabbed his hand.
"Xander, please stay. I-I don't want someone seeing you who shouldn't. It would put you and the rest of us in too much danger."
Xander sighed and reluctantly sat back down. "Fine. I'll stay here. But we can't be close like this."
Buffy nodded. "You're right. Listen, why don't you stay here and I'll go back home. They're probably wondering where I am. Hopefully Dawn came up with something."
+++
"Uh, Buffy?" Dawn stammered, her mind frantically swirling, trying to come up with something. "She, uh, she's..."
Willow raised her eyebrows. "She's...?"
"She's with Xander. I-I mean, she went t-to go visit his grave." Dawn swallowed hard. "You know, see how the tombstone turned out and stuff."
"Oh." Willow nodded. "I was thinking about doing that today too." She glanced at Tara. "Maybe we should go now so we can catch up with Buffy."
"But you can't! I-I mean, she probably, uh, wants to be alone and..." Dawn caught sight of Buffy quietly entering through the front door. "Look, she's home already." She hurried to her sister and loudly asked, "Buffy! Back from visiting Xander so soon?"
Buffy looked stricken. "What? I wasn't visiting Xander."
"No silly," Dawn said with a forced laugh. "I mean you went to his grave, right?"
Buffy saw Willow and Tara standing in the doorway to the kitchen watching the scene with confusion. "Oh," she said, getting it. "Right. Yeah."
"What did it say?" Willow asked as Buffy came into the kitchen.
"Um, I-I don't really remember," Buffy told her after a second. "I, um...kinda wanted to block it out of my memory you know?"
Willow nodded. "Yeah. I understand. Maybe I'll go down there later today."
"Yeah." Buffy hoped that the tombstone was indeed up today. Then her eyes widened when she realized who might visit. "Oh God."
"What is it?" Tara asked.
"I, um, forgot. I have to go take care of something." She left, running to the cemetery as fast as her feet would take her.
**************************************************************************************
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