Xander stood in front of his tombstone.
He moved his lips silently as he read the words.
1 Alexander Lavelle Harris
1981-2002
Our White Knight
A True Hero, The Bravest of Us All
Xander knelt and ran his fingers over the cool smooth stone. He traced the engraved words with his fingertip.
A single tear fell down his cheek. This was it. Now he truly understood that he was really dead. He hadn't paid attention at the funeral because he had been too busy with the spell. Xander leaned over, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyelids, desperate to stop the flow of tears that threatened to spill over. They fell anyway, dropping on the newly planted grass like rain.
Xander knelt there for a long time, crying silently. He was really and truly dead. And he was going to spend the rest of, well, Buffy's life watching over her, but never having her.
A hand touched his shoulder and he jumped but then realized who it was. Without saying a word, he turned and folded himself into Buffy's arms. She held him close as he sobbed against her shoulder.
"It's gonna be okay," she whispered over and over.
Finally, Xander was able to bring his emotions back under control and he slowly sat up, sniffling.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"No no," Buffy replied, gently brushing hair from his eyes. "It's okay. You know, I went through a lot of the same stuff when I…"
Xander half-smiled. "You know, this is one thing I never thought we would have had in common."
"Yeah," Buffy replied.
"Let's get out of here," Xander said suddenly. "Cause you know, if someone looks at this tombstone and then sees me sitting here, they might get a little wigged."
Buffy nodded and grabbed his arm, pulling him towards the woods. "Let's just walk around in here for a little while."
Xander raised his eyebrows. "Dark forest? In Sunnydale? Are you really Buffy?"
"It's not dark yet. Don't be a scardy-cat." Buffy pulled him into the woods and they walked together for a long time. Xander told Buffy things he had never told anyone else, not even Anya. He told her about his home life, his fears, his desires. Buffy truly let out how she felt about being the Slayer. She told him how much she hated it yet loved it at the same time. She told him about how she was feeling now, after being pulled out of heaven.
And then, somehow, they found themselves kissing. Xander leaned against a tree, holding Buffy close, savoring the kiss. It was the most perfect kiss he could have ever created. They were in a beautiful forest together with a light breeze rustling their hair, the sun setting behind her, casting a glow on…
"Sun's down," Xander said, suddenly breaking the kiss. "You should get home. They're probably worried."
Buffy agreed reluctantly. "What's my excuse for being out this long?" They strolled towards her house, hand in hand.
"Say you got into a fight with a demon." Xander grinned. "Gives a reason for why your hair is all messed up anyway."
"Yeah cause you know how many of those demons are just walking around in the bright sunshine working on their tans," Buffy replied as she smoothed down her hair. "You'd better let me off here." She kissed him on the cheek. "Do you want to meet later?"
Xander nodded. "Go patrol at about ten-ish. I'll meet you in, uh, my cemetery."
Buffy nodded then quickly walked the rest of the way to her house, forcing herself to not look back.
Why are you doing this to yourself? she reprimanded herself silently. Why are you falling more and more in love with him when you know he's going to be gone by tomorrow afternoon?
Buffy sighed as she opened the front door.
"Buffy, there you are," Willow cried, coming down the stairs. "We were worried. Where have you been?"
"I've, uh, I went by the magic shop just to, you know, check up on things. And then, I…got some coffee and then just walked around for a while. I-I didn't realize how late it was until it started to get all dark." Buffy gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry Will."
Willow sighed. "It's okay. I guess I'm just getting too worked up because of…well you know."
Buffy nodded then pushed past her, starting up the stairs, then pausing. "I'll start dinner in a few minutes. I'm going to go out patrol at around 9:30 okay?"
"Sure." Willow paused. "I was just gonna go visit Xander's grave once you got home." She glanced out the window. "But it's kind of dark to be wandering around in cemeteries. I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow. Maybe Giles will take me."
Buffy felt guilt weighing down heavily on her. "I'm sorry for staying out so late Will."
"Oh no, it's okay Buffy. You had things you had to think about." She sighed. "I just wanted to see it. For closure, you know?"
Buffy bit her lip then went the rest of the way up the stairs. She collapsed onto her bed and within a few minutes, Dawn came in, slamming the door shut behind her.
"Where were you? You were with Xander weren't you?" she said accusingly.
Buffy grabbed her sister by the arm, pulling her to sit down on the bed next to her. "Be quiet! Yes I was."
Dawn pouted. "How come you don't take me? I want to see him too, you know."
"Dawn, I don't want you seeing him. He's gonna stay away from here. It'll be best for everyone and for you." She looked down at her hands. "It's already gonna be tough for me when he's gone."
Dawn peered at her sister. "You love him, don't you?" she asked quietly.
Buffy nodded. "Sorry. I know you liked him too."
Dawn was silent for a long time before she half-smiled and nudged her sister. "You can have him."
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He moved his lips silently as he read the words.
1 Alexander Lavelle Harris
1981-2002
Our White Knight
A True Hero, The Bravest of Us All
Xander knelt and ran his fingers over the cool smooth stone. He traced the engraved words with his fingertip.
A single tear fell down his cheek. This was it. Now he truly understood that he was really dead. He hadn't paid attention at the funeral because he had been too busy with the spell. Xander leaned over, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyelids, desperate to stop the flow of tears that threatened to spill over. They fell anyway, dropping on the newly planted grass like rain.
Xander knelt there for a long time, crying silently. He was really and truly dead. And he was going to spend the rest of, well, Buffy's life watching over her, but never having her.
A hand touched his shoulder and he jumped but then realized who it was. Without saying a word, he turned and folded himself into Buffy's arms. She held him close as he sobbed against her shoulder.
"It's gonna be okay," she whispered over and over.
Finally, Xander was able to bring his emotions back under control and he slowly sat up, sniffling.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"No no," Buffy replied, gently brushing hair from his eyes. "It's okay. You know, I went through a lot of the same stuff when I…"
Xander half-smiled. "You know, this is one thing I never thought we would have had in common."
"Yeah," Buffy replied.
"Let's get out of here," Xander said suddenly. "Cause you know, if someone looks at this tombstone and then sees me sitting here, they might get a little wigged."
Buffy nodded and grabbed his arm, pulling him towards the woods. "Let's just walk around in here for a little while."
Xander raised his eyebrows. "Dark forest? In Sunnydale? Are you really Buffy?"
"It's not dark yet. Don't be a scardy-cat." Buffy pulled him into the woods and they walked together for a long time. Xander told Buffy things he had never told anyone else, not even Anya. He told her about his home life, his fears, his desires. Buffy truly let out how she felt about being the Slayer. She told him how much she hated it yet loved it at the same time. She told him about how she was feeling now, after being pulled out of heaven.
And then, somehow, they found themselves kissing. Xander leaned against a tree, holding Buffy close, savoring the kiss. It was the most perfect kiss he could have ever created. They were in a beautiful forest together with a light breeze rustling their hair, the sun setting behind her, casting a glow on…
"Sun's down," Xander said, suddenly breaking the kiss. "You should get home. They're probably worried."
Buffy agreed reluctantly. "What's my excuse for being out this long?" They strolled towards her house, hand in hand.
"Say you got into a fight with a demon." Xander grinned. "Gives a reason for why your hair is all messed up anyway."
"Yeah cause you know how many of those demons are just walking around in the bright sunshine working on their tans," Buffy replied as she smoothed down her hair. "You'd better let me off here." She kissed him on the cheek. "Do you want to meet later?"
Xander nodded. "Go patrol at about ten-ish. I'll meet you in, uh, my cemetery."
Buffy nodded then quickly walked the rest of the way to her house, forcing herself to not look back.
Why are you doing this to yourself? she reprimanded herself silently. Why are you falling more and more in love with him when you know he's going to be gone by tomorrow afternoon?
Buffy sighed as she opened the front door.
"Buffy, there you are," Willow cried, coming down the stairs. "We were worried. Where have you been?"
"I've, uh, I went by the magic shop just to, you know, check up on things. And then, I…got some coffee and then just walked around for a while. I-I didn't realize how late it was until it started to get all dark." Buffy gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry Will."
Willow sighed. "It's okay. I guess I'm just getting too worked up because of…well you know."
Buffy nodded then pushed past her, starting up the stairs, then pausing. "I'll start dinner in a few minutes. I'm going to go out patrol at around 9:30 okay?"
"Sure." Willow paused. "I was just gonna go visit Xander's grave once you got home." She glanced out the window. "But it's kind of dark to be wandering around in cemeteries. I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow. Maybe Giles will take me."
Buffy felt guilt weighing down heavily on her. "I'm sorry for staying out so late Will."
"Oh no, it's okay Buffy. You had things you had to think about." She sighed. "I just wanted to see it. For closure, you know?"
Buffy bit her lip then went the rest of the way up the stairs. She collapsed onto her bed and within a few minutes, Dawn came in, slamming the door shut behind her.
"Where were you? You were with Xander weren't you?" she said accusingly.
Buffy grabbed her sister by the arm, pulling her to sit down on the bed next to her. "Be quiet! Yes I was."
Dawn pouted. "How come you don't take me? I want to see him too, you know."
"Dawn, I don't want you seeing him. He's gonna stay away from here. It'll be best for everyone and for you." She looked down at her hands. "It's already gonna be tough for me when he's gone."
Dawn peered at her sister. "You love him, don't you?" she asked quietly.
Buffy nodded. "Sorry. I know you liked him too."
Dawn was silent for a long time before she half-smiled and nudged her sister. "You can have him."
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