AN: You thought I was done. That I was finished. I have only just begun! Muhahahahahaha! OK, no. One more chapter after this, then a list.
If I…no. How about…nope. Or, I could…never. Jean paced inside her room, putting on her makeup and jewelry. She wanted to look her best for the big day; because today was the day she was going to seduce Logan. Not that she really wanted to, mind you, but that fate shoved her into it. After all, without the additional love interest and misunderstandings, Logan and Marie could never have that special kind of binding angst that people think brings lovers closer. Actually, it just made Jean want to puke.
"Jean? Are you in there?"
"Yeah, Ororo. Come on in."
Ororo entered the room, glanced at Jean's low cut red outfit, and arched an eyebrow. "Seducing day?"
"Yeah. Why can't you just do it for me? I'm tired of dealing with whiny-boy Scott, he clings to his teddy bear more than me now."
Settling herself into a chair, Storm shook her head. "Now, Jean. We both know perfectly well that I am not allowed to have a love interest or be desired."
"So?" Jean countered in a high-pitched whine.
"I am sorry, dear friend, but I must return to my class now."
As Ororo closed the door behind her, Jean sighed, and returned to primping. After all, she had to look good for her future spurning.
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X-Men! I need you!
Logan was the last to arrive to the War Room meeting, shirtless as usual. Sitting down next to Marie, he propped his boots up on the table, and leaned back. As everyone sat in silence, Ororo poked Jean in the side. Jean rolled her eyes, took a deep breath, and then caught Logan's eye and winked, following it with a seductive smile.
Logan's brain kicked into overdrive at this. On one hand, it wasn't Marie, so he didn't want to appear interested. However, his need to have every female swoon over his godhood wouldn't be continued by refusing to flirt. Decisions, decisions. Finally, he settled on a wink, coupled with a smile. Not too obvious, but enough to…yup, there she went. Swooned over into Scott's lap. Logan cracked his knuckles. Still got it, after all.
The Professor folded his hands on the table, and gave everyone a grave look. "X-Men, I'm afraid to inform you that Magneto has broken loose of his containment." Assorted gasps fluttered through the assembled people. "And so, I'm afraid that you will have to all go fight him."
"Professor, would it not make more sense to keep some of us behind? After all, he may be returning for Rogue, protecting her should be a priority." Ororo looked around, as the other people sat in silence. She shook her head at her own stupidity. That's right, now that Jean and Marie are both in the room, I am invisible, and people can't hear me speak.
Logan piped up. "Why send all of us, Wheels? Why not leave some behind to watch Marie?"
Affirmative noises accompanied the end of Logan's sentence.
"That is what I just said! By the Goddess!" Once again, silence.
"Well, Logan, it is necessary because you must save Marie again at the last minute to complete your bonding through adversity experience."
"Oh."
"That makes sense."
Ororo stood up. "No, it does not! Tell me how it makes sense to send the one person Magneto desires above all other out to fight him, when her only viable weapon is to hurl a rock!" Seeing that everyone was conversing amongst themselves, agreeing with the Professor's plan, Ororo screamed. "That's it!" Taking off her top, Storm danced around the table, shaking this way and that. However, as the combined effects of Jean and Marie's presence would prove, no one noticed at all.
"X-Men, be ready to leave at ten tonight."
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While grease made most look as if they needed a shower, change of clothes, and a shred of common decency, it only served to make Logan look more appealing. Somehow, even though the amounts of grease in his chest hair should make him resemble a lounge singer named Vic, he looked sexy.
"Hey there, Logan." A deep feminine voice wafted out from the shadows, and caused him to snap his head up. "Miss me?" Jean stepped out from the dark, wearing her low cut dress. She leaned over Logan's shoulder, purring into his ear. "Whatcha working on?"
"Bike."
"I love a man who's good with his hands."
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"Marie?"
"Yes, Mr. Summers?"
"Didn't you have an accent?"
"Ah mean, what do ya'll whant?"
Scott pointed towards the garage where Logan and Jean currently were. "You need to go there now."
"Why?"
"Because you have to see Logan in an awkward and compromising position, and misconstrue it, until it is finally reconciled when he saves you from Magneto on our mission."
"Oh. Why don'tcha just up an' leave Jean for flirtin', then?"
Scott smiled. "I'm a one dimensional character, here to serve only as a foil for Logan and to be team leader. Leaving Jean would require balls. And while I may be a dick, I lack balls."
Rogue pondered this. "Oh, alright, sugah. I'm off."
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"Look, Jean. I don't know what you're doing, but I ain't interested."
Jean leaned further down, twirling her fingers through Logan's chest hair while pulling a face at the grease. The things I do for Marie's sake. Eww, grease. "I know you want me, Logan. I can read minds, you know."
Logan stood, turned, and gripped the upper part of Jean's arms. And, as we all know, no matter the strength of any female, no matter her magical or mutant powers, all females are rendered helpless in any movie by the "upper arm grab."
Just then, Rogue opened the door leading to the garage, and gasped at the scene. Logan and Jean pressed up against each other. "How could ya, Logan? Ah loved you!" She then turned, and ran away, crying.
Logan let Jean go, and ran after her. "No, Marie! It ain't like that!"
Jean walked over to the sink, and washed her hands free of the grease. "You know, just cause he's animalistic, doesn't mean he can't wash himself. Gees."
AN2: Thanks for the support! One last chapter, complete with battle clichés, and standard tragic hero endings! Huzzah! And whoever wrote something about Storm doing a "Happy Naked Pagan Dance," I credit her scene to you.