2011

I re-read some of my stories recently and nearly died from the horror of my fifteen-year-old spelling skills. I wrote this on Notepad originally and didn't have a spell check. So I've decided to go through and spell check and (to some extent) grammar check. I debated for a while whether to try to preserve my original in-story notes and similar things, but decided they took away from the story and have deleted them. I've also re-written some sentences to sound better. This is in no way error-free. I just no longer feel embarrassed reading my own work. I've saved the original, non-edited version just to preserve the horribleness and remember how I really wrote in 9th grade.

Also, I do this the day after coming back from InvaderCon. I wish I could go back and tell 2002 me that such a thing was going to occur. She really needed some cheering up.

2002

Hi everybody!
everyone: Hi doctor Nick!
I'm HelgaGP!
everyone: Oh well!
Hehe! I love the Simpsons! Not as much as I love Invader Zim though! Which, by the way, I do not own! It would be pretty cool to own I.Z. but I don't! All I own are Jen, Cat, and The plot to this story! Oh! And I do own a Zim shirt my mom and dad got me for Christmas! But that's as close as I'll ever get!
You all seem to like Jen and Cat so here is the second fic I've written w/ them in it! It takes place about a month after the first Invader Jen fic! If you haven't read "invader Jen" that's alright! You'll figure it out! so read and review please! Now I will begin the story! But first, I want a Twinkie! Mmmmm...Twinkie!

Chap 1- Cooking With Jen

"Look at him, Gir! Look at Dib!" Zim exclaimed angrily, glaring at the large computer screen he was using to spy on his arch rival.

Dib was walking down a frozen dirt path, leafless trees on both sides, small, melting clumps of snow were scattered along the path and around the bases of the trees. Walking beside Dib was Zim's cousin, Jen. She was wearing a fluffy lavender coat and matching knit gloves and being very careful not to step in any of the semi-frozen water - which had disguised itself as a harmless white powder - as Dib explained to her some different things about Earth.

The snow was harmless to Humans, anyway. But to Zim and Jen, who were Irkens, it was something much more painful.

"So many times I have tried to destroy the human and so many times I have failed! What am I doing wrong?" Zim brought an angry, clenched fist down hard on his leg and let out a yelp of pain.

"Awwwww! Don't be sad master!" Zim's little robot, Gir, said. "Dib is nice! At least Jen thinks so!"

"Jen!" Zim growled. "Jen is a disgrace to the name of Irk! Of course she would find a friend in Dib!" Zim shuddered at the thought of his cousin's new friendship with his enemy. "And this growing 'friendship' isn't going to help me destroy the human, either!" Zim glared at the picture of Dib and Jen on the computer, they were now laughing at something off screen.

"THAT'S NICE!" Gir exclaimed out of nowhere. "TACOS!" He screamed and ran out of the lab. Probably going to visit Cat, Jen's S.I.R.-bot.

Zim watched Gir run away then turned back to the computer. He watched Dib closely, thinking.

"Or maybe I don't HAVE to destroy him." Zim said to the empty room, an evil smile coming to his face. "Dib is so set on turning me over to his little scientist friends, proving I'm not human..." Zim paused to think for a minute. "But, what if Dib couldn't expose ME without causing harm to himself?" Zim paused again, an evil plan brewing in his mind. He broke out into a maniacal laugh. Abruptly he stopped and looked around the room in which he was the only occupant.

"Who was I talking to?"

"Sugar, sugar... how much sugar?" Jen muttered to herself. She was sitting on one of six tall, wooden bar stools that were placed around the peninsula counter top. Sugar, flour, vanilla and other assorted ingredients were strewn around the black counter. A large blue bowl sat in front of her with the handle of a wooden mixing spoon sticking out.

Jen looked down at the piece of paper that the recipe for vanilla cupcakes was printed on. She had found it on a website that morning and thought she would try it out.

"Why doesn't it say how much sugar to put in? Or flour? Or baking soda?" Jen sighed and looked down at the little gold and purple robot sitting on the white linoleum floor. Cat was laughing his little head off watching a little red wind-up car make circles around him.

"Oh well! I'll just try and guess!" Jen decided out loud. "I mean, how hard can it be?" She poured in some of everything around her and continued mixing the ingredients.

"Are my cupcakes done yet?" Cat asked in his little robotic voice.

"No, not yet." Jen replied and began filling a cupcake try lined with paper cupcake cups with the yellowish, and extremely lumpy, batter.

"How about now?" Cat asked.

"No. How about you go watch TV while you're waiting?" Jen suggested, knowing the little game Cat had already begun playing all to well. "I think there's a 'Hey Arnold' marathon on now."

"HEY ARNOLD!" The little S.I.R. screamed and ran into the next room. Soon Jen could hear Helga swooning over her locket, then the familiar breathing, then POW! The sounds floated into the kitchen from the large TV in the living room which Cat always had turned up too loud.

Jen had just put the tray of over flowing cupcakes into the oven when she heard the phone ring. She walked through the door into the darkened living room and grabbed the black cordless off its cradle beside the door to the kitchen.

"Hello?" Jen answered.

"Hey, Jen!" The voice of Jen's best friend came from the other end. Jen smiled loving the sound of that, HER best friend! Up until she came to Earth the closest thing she had had to a friend was her cousin Zim and they didn't exactly get along the best.

"Hi, Dib! What 'cha up to?"

"Nothing." Dib answered sounding distressed. "'Mysterious Mysteries' starts in ten minutes and Gaz won't stop playing her games." Jen chuckled. She had gotten to know Dib's sister a bit over the past month since she and Dib had become friends. Not a lot, but enough to know that you did not get between Gaz and her Game Slave.

"Well, you could come over here, but Cat is watching a 'Hey Arnold' marathon. But… if you feel like fighting him for it you're welcome to try." Jen laughed at the mental picture forming in her mind's eye of Cat and Dib fighting for the remote. "Maybe we could put it on 'Pay per View'! THAT would be good."

"Uhh...I don't think so." Dib replied. "But I was wondering if you wanted to go watch for UFOs tomorrow night?"

"Sure!" Jen replied eagerly. "Maybe I'll recognize some."

"Really?" Dib asked sounding extremely interested by the idea.

"Maybe." Jen answered. She then noticed something out the corner of her eye. It looked like something was squeezing out her kitchen door. "What the-" Jen turned to see that a huge cupcake was expanding into her living room.

Cat looked over to see the giant yellow cake. His purple eyes widened in excitement and he jumped off the couch, gasping happily. "CUPCAKES ARE DONE!" He yelled as he ran over to it and began to eat.

"What's going on over there?" Dib asked after hearing Cat scream. "Jen? You still there?"

"Uh... yeah! I'm right here!" Jen answered. "Umm… I seem to be having some cooking problems. I gotta go, kay? See ya in skool tomorrow."

"Bye." Dib replied then Jen pressed the disconnect button and set the phone on the coffee table in front of the couch. Then, changing her mind, she picked it up again and dialed Zim's number. Gir picked up.

"Hellooooooo?" Gir answered, sounding excited for reasons Jen couldn't even guess.

"Hi Gir! This is Jen, umm... I've got some cupcakes and-"

"CUPCAKES? CUPCAKES!" Gir screamed and the line went dead. A few moments later Gir ran out of the closet on the other side of the room. This was actually an elevator to Jen's tiny lab which connected to Zim's much more impressive lab across the cul-de-sac.

Jen hung the cordless back in it's cradle just as Cat and Gir ate their way through the door. She walked over and broke off a piece of the cake. She studied a bit, took a bite, made a funny face, and threw the rest on the floor. It tasted a bit like biting a piece of burnt wood. She then walked over to the couch and fell over one of the arm rests, letting her feet dangle over the arm rest.

"Too much baking soda maybe?" She muttered thoughtfully to herself then shrugged. "Well, that's the last time I use a recipe off that web site."

"So, did you ever get to watch 'Mysterious Mysteries' last night?" Jen asked. She was sitting at one of the tables in the cafeteria during lunch the next day.

"No! SHE wouldn't get off her stupid game!" Dib complained jerking a thumb at his sister. Gaz was sitting next to him. Jen sat across from Dib.

"I was only thirteen levels from beating 'Vampire Piggy Slayer 2'!" Gaz replied defensively. "Besides, that episode has already been on at least a hundred times. Haven't you got it memorized yet?"

"Well, yes..." Dib admitted. "But that's not the point!"

"Then what is? That you're an overly-obsessive-paranormal-freak?" Gaz asked calmly and took a bite of corn.

"I am NOT overly obsessive!" Dib claimed. "And I'm not a freak!"

Jen fought down giggles and distractedly dipped a dinner roll in the watery ranch dressing. Loosing interest, she allowed her eyes to wander as Dib and Gaz argued. Her gaze stopped at Zim. He had been watching them, she knew it. But as soon as she had looked his way he had looked down at the weirdly colored pork chop, grayish-brownish-green was the only way to describe the unhealthy color.

Jen watched Zim as he stood up and walked to the garbage to dump his tray, setting a salt shaker down on the table with the ketchup, mustard, and other condiments. Then he walked out the door to go out to the play ground for recess.

Jen turned her attention back to the brother/sister quarrel going on in front of her.

"Can you just be quiet? I'm trying to eat!" Gaz growled.

"Fine, but next time 'Mysterious Mysteries' is on I get to watch it! No matter how far into a game you are!" Dib demanded. Gaz just glared at him until he backed down and went back to his lunch.

"You know, this pork-chop could use some salt." Jen remarked stabbing the meat with her fork a few times just for the heck of it. "Anyone else want some?"

"Sure." Dib said sullenly through a bite of peas.

"No, I'm done." Gaz replied and got up to dump her tray.

"I'll be right back," Jen said as she got up. She walked over and grabbed the salt. There wasn't much left but it would be enough. She headed back to the table.

She used it first then handed it to Dib, who finished it off. He took a bite and chewed slowly.

"Hey! This is pretty good!" He commented in surprise and took another bite. "Never knew salt could make that much difference!"

"Really?" Jen asked taking another bite. "I can't taste it. Maybe I should have used more." She took a few more bites then continued to stab the rest of it to shreds.

"Hey, have you noticed that Zim hasn't tried anything weird lately?" Dib asked, lowering his voice slightly. Jen stopped stabbing the meat a second to think about it then shrugged and gave the pork a few final jabs.

"You know... you're right. Maybe he's run out of ideas."

"We can only hope!" Dib exclaimed then continued eating. Jen moved on to smash the evil known as skool peas.

2002

Hehe! Die skool food die! So, how did you like the first chapter of this story? Please review and let me know! Good or bad! I'm a big girl! I can take it! Hey! I can survive those pork chops mentioned I think I can survive a few flames! I'll use them to roast marshy-mellows! Well so long for now!
~HelgaGP

2011

Wow. One chapter took me an hour to correct. I should have kept track of how many exclamation points I got rid of.