In their office, Scully and Mulder reviewed paperwork that had piled up on
Mulder's desk.
"Can you believe I still don't have a desk? I'm strangely glad that they moved us back to the basement, but now I don't have a desk."
"Looks like the honeymoon's over," Mulder sighed.
"Agents," it was Skinner's secretary, "A.D. Skinner would like to speak with you."
The newlyweds glanced at each other, then went upstairs to their former boss's office.
"Welcome back," Skinner said when the agents walked into his office. "How was the honeymoon?"
"Just great," they said in unison.
Skinner leaned back in his chair. "I take it you two had problems..."
"If she would have told me that she is five months pregnant BEFORE we went on the honeymoon-"
"Is sex all you think about? You really have a one track mind," Scully said angrily.
"Hey, I think about other things too you know."
Skinner rolled his eyes, knowing that it was a bad idea to be in the same room with them when they were fighting. "I'll leave you two alone so you can sort this all out."
He patted Mulder's shoulder, his way of saying good luck, walked out of his office, and closed the door. Skinner started to walk away, but stopped. He turned and went back to his secretary's desk. "If there's blood, clean it. If there are bodies, drag them out. Do whatever it takes, but I don't want anything to do with this," Skinner said.
"Sir?"
"Mulder and Scully are in there fighting again."
"Oh, I see," she said. "I'll call maintenence."
MEANWHILE, BACK IN SKINNER'S OFFICE
"Millions of things to do in Los Angeles, but no, you just want sex. You should be happy that you're getting a kid from me. Not many people can obviously since I was supposed to be barren."
Mulder put his hands on his head as if he were going to rip his hair out.
"You got your sex, now deal with the one little guy who was strong enough to get me pregnant!" Scully took a breath. "And another thing, you better be happy with it because I'm going to be in a lot of pain and killing you and your little buddy will be the first thing that comes to my mind."
"If you're so mad about having a baby, then get an abortion," Mulder yelled.
Scully glared at him and then said, "I'm sure you would be a lot happier. Then you can try and get me pregnant all over again."
Skinner's secretary walked into the office.
"What do you want?" Scully and Mulder yelled together.
"Mr. Skinner came back and wanted me to let you know that he can hear you on the other side of the building." She closed the door.
"See what you did," Mulder said. "I bet Kirsh will send his secretary down here to yell at us too."
"This is all your fault," Scully hissed. "I can't believe I married you. A guy who has a big nose and is named after an animal. I stooped too low this time."
Skinner walked in. "Agents," he said. "I have something to say so shut up a minute and listen." They stopped arguing. "Good. You have turned into a genuine couple, bickering and all, but you have to realize that you're at work now. You're in the FBI. You can't just scream at each other whenever it suits you. Even if you do get into an argument, I shouldn't be able to hear you on the other side of the building and Assistant Director Kirsh should not be able to hear you in his office two floors up."
Mulder hung his head in shame.
"That's right," Scully thought, "Hang your head in shame like the dog that you are."
"Kirsh had come down here himself and was going to give you hell, but I intercepted him. We talked and came to a decision. You can both take another week off and this little incident won't be in any files or permanent records or won't be sent to the board. Or we will be forced to separate you. You will be given new partners and new assignments. You have just gotten married, and I know that neither of you want that to happen."
Strangely, neither wanted to be separated permanently, so they agreed to take another week off. They exited the building and went to their car.
On their way home, Scully felt bad about the things she had said to Mulder. "You know," she said, "If it makes you feel any better, the baby will probably have your nose. Not that it bothers me. I actually kind of like your nose."
Mulder shook his head. "You just can't get over my nose."
"I told you I fell in love with your nose."
Not wanting to start another argument, Mulder stayed quiet.
Finally they were back at their own house. Mulder opened the door and found the house in ruins. Just as they had left it.
"You clean it," Scully said. "I have four months of pregnancy left and I'm not supposed to do anything strenuous."
"Then why did you want to go back to work?"
"Clean the house, Mulder."
"Fine."
With that Mulder went upstairs to their bedroom. Scully waited for him to come back down, but he never did. So she went upstairs to their room only to find Mulder laying down in bed reading a copy of Guns and Ammo. Scully walked to him and saw that behind Guns and Ammo was a Victoria's Secret catalog.
"Ugh, that's it. Get out. You're sleeping on the couch."
Mulder looked up. "What? Why?"
Scully stared in disbelief. "Why? I asked you to clean the house. Such a simple little thing and you come up here and read. You read not just anything, no no, you look at the Victoria's Secret catalog. This is what I was talking about. All you think about is sex."
"I wasn't thinking about sex. I was thinking about brea-"
"Get out!"
"Okay, okay."
Mulder grabbed his pillow, grabbed a blanket out of the closet, and went downstairs to the couch. Scully slammed the door and went to bed.
"Can you believe I still don't have a desk? I'm strangely glad that they moved us back to the basement, but now I don't have a desk."
"Looks like the honeymoon's over," Mulder sighed.
"Agents," it was Skinner's secretary, "A.D. Skinner would like to speak with you."
The newlyweds glanced at each other, then went upstairs to their former boss's office.
"Welcome back," Skinner said when the agents walked into his office. "How was the honeymoon?"
"Just great," they said in unison.
Skinner leaned back in his chair. "I take it you two had problems..."
"If she would have told me that she is five months pregnant BEFORE we went on the honeymoon-"
"Is sex all you think about? You really have a one track mind," Scully said angrily.
"Hey, I think about other things too you know."
Skinner rolled his eyes, knowing that it was a bad idea to be in the same room with them when they were fighting. "I'll leave you two alone so you can sort this all out."
He patted Mulder's shoulder, his way of saying good luck, walked out of his office, and closed the door. Skinner started to walk away, but stopped. He turned and went back to his secretary's desk. "If there's blood, clean it. If there are bodies, drag them out. Do whatever it takes, but I don't want anything to do with this," Skinner said.
"Sir?"
"Mulder and Scully are in there fighting again."
"Oh, I see," she said. "I'll call maintenence."
MEANWHILE, BACK IN SKINNER'S OFFICE
"Millions of things to do in Los Angeles, but no, you just want sex. You should be happy that you're getting a kid from me. Not many people can obviously since I was supposed to be barren."
Mulder put his hands on his head as if he were going to rip his hair out.
"You got your sex, now deal with the one little guy who was strong enough to get me pregnant!" Scully took a breath. "And another thing, you better be happy with it because I'm going to be in a lot of pain and killing you and your little buddy will be the first thing that comes to my mind."
"If you're so mad about having a baby, then get an abortion," Mulder yelled.
Scully glared at him and then said, "I'm sure you would be a lot happier. Then you can try and get me pregnant all over again."
Skinner's secretary walked into the office.
"What do you want?" Scully and Mulder yelled together.
"Mr. Skinner came back and wanted me to let you know that he can hear you on the other side of the building." She closed the door.
"See what you did," Mulder said. "I bet Kirsh will send his secretary down here to yell at us too."
"This is all your fault," Scully hissed. "I can't believe I married you. A guy who has a big nose and is named after an animal. I stooped too low this time."
Skinner walked in. "Agents," he said. "I have something to say so shut up a minute and listen." They stopped arguing. "Good. You have turned into a genuine couple, bickering and all, but you have to realize that you're at work now. You're in the FBI. You can't just scream at each other whenever it suits you. Even if you do get into an argument, I shouldn't be able to hear you on the other side of the building and Assistant Director Kirsh should not be able to hear you in his office two floors up."
Mulder hung his head in shame.
"That's right," Scully thought, "Hang your head in shame like the dog that you are."
"Kirsh had come down here himself and was going to give you hell, but I intercepted him. We talked and came to a decision. You can both take another week off and this little incident won't be in any files or permanent records or won't be sent to the board. Or we will be forced to separate you. You will be given new partners and new assignments. You have just gotten married, and I know that neither of you want that to happen."
Strangely, neither wanted to be separated permanently, so they agreed to take another week off. They exited the building and went to their car.
On their way home, Scully felt bad about the things she had said to Mulder. "You know," she said, "If it makes you feel any better, the baby will probably have your nose. Not that it bothers me. I actually kind of like your nose."
Mulder shook his head. "You just can't get over my nose."
"I told you I fell in love with your nose."
Not wanting to start another argument, Mulder stayed quiet.
Finally they were back at their own house. Mulder opened the door and found the house in ruins. Just as they had left it.
"You clean it," Scully said. "I have four months of pregnancy left and I'm not supposed to do anything strenuous."
"Then why did you want to go back to work?"
"Clean the house, Mulder."
"Fine."
With that Mulder went upstairs to their bedroom. Scully waited for him to come back down, but he never did. So she went upstairs to their room only to find Mulder laying down in bed reading a copy of Guns and Ammo. Scully walked to him and saw that behind Guns and Ammo was a Victoria's Secret catalog.
"Ugh, that's it. Get out. You're sleeping on the couch."
Mulder looked up. "What? Why?"
Scully stared in disbelief. "Why? I asked you to clean the house. Such a simple little thing and you come up here and read. You read not just anything, no no, you look at the Victoria's Secret catalog. This is what I was talking about. All you think about is sex."
"I wasn't thinking about sex. I was thinking about brea-"
"Get out!"
"Okay, okay."
Mulder grabbed his pillow, grabbed a blanket out of the closet, and went downstairs to the couch. Scully slammed the door and went to bed.