Scully had just given birth to her child. She was already in a regular room
and was thinking about what she should name her new daughter. Mulder sat
beside the hospital bed holding the newborn in his arms.
"I've never seen Mulder so happy before," thought Scully. She smiled at the sight. "Maybe all the pain was worth it…or maybe the drugs haven't worn off yet."
"Hey I know," Mulder said, interrupting her thoughts, "Why don't we name her Conspiracy?"
Scully shook her head. "I know I'm still a little drunk on morphine, but I'm not stupid, Mulder. We are not going to call her Conspiracy. It's not a girls name and besides, it's not even a name at all!"
"Conspiria?"
"No." Scully looked thoughtful. "Piper?"
"Nah. How about Luna Christina?"
"That way when she has to use her middle initial, it will say Luna C. Mulder?" Scully laughed. "That's perfect! Lunacy is the perfect word to describe you, Mulder, but I'm not naming my daughter after your mental stability."
"Ha ha, very funny. Black Oilivia? Or Oilivia? You know, after our case with the black oil?"
"No." Mulder looked disappointed. "Ophelia?"
"What kind of name is that?"
"What kind of name is Black Oilivia? I'm naming her Ophelia and that's that!" Scully yelled.
Infact, she yelled almost as loud as when she was in labor…
Flashback
"Oww, oww," Mulder thought. Scully was squeezing his hand into pieces."I knew I shouldn't have told her it was okay to squeeze my hand when it hurt. I thought they were just exaggerating on TV. I guess not."
The nurses were rushing around, trying to contact an anesthesiologist so they could sedate Scully. Scully was by far, the loudest woman in labor the hospital had dealt with in years. She was waking people up all over the recently quiet hospital. It was, after all, 3:30 in the morning and people would not be happy to be woken up to blood-curdling screaming.
"I want that doctor in her now!!" Scully yelled. "This is insane! There has to be an anesthesiologist somewhere in this hospital!"
"Ma'am, we are in the process of finding him. Please be patient while we locate him."
"'Be patient?' You want me to be patient? Have you lost your miiiiind?!"
"Mrs. Scully, you have just had another contraction-"
"Really? I did? Thank you for telling me, because I couldn't feel my insides being ripped to shreds!!!"
"Another contraction, but you need to calm down a bit," the nurse said patiently. "You are not fully dilated yet, and you still have a little while to go. There are other patients here who are trying to get some sleep."
"Well, maybe you should put padding on the walls because I have intention of stopping my screaming!!" "Honey," Mulder said cautiously, "Can you let go of my hand? I think it's broken." Scully let go. "Are you sure you don't want to calm down a little…or I mean be a little quieter?"
"No, I will not calm down. I don't care if I wake everyone up in this hospital because there must be someone here, at least one woman, who knows what it's like to have a baby without anesthesia. I will not calm down, even if there isn't anybody out there in the hospital who has any sympathy at all my body being destroyed by this little monster of a child!! I don't know where people get that saying. You know, the one where they say, 'The birth of your baby will be the best day of your life.' Or this one, 'The miracle of childbirth.' What miracle? I don't call this a miracle! I call it cruel and unusual punishment! Torture!! How can any woman be calm and quiet at a time like this?"
Mulder decided that it would not be a good idea to tell his wife that in the old days women were not supposed to scream or make a fuss during childbirth so as not to disturb their husbands. Somehow Mulder thought that Scully would not listen, care, nor spare his life if he made that comment. He just hoped that she was happy that her was there beside during this whole ordeal.
"Hello, hello," said a stranger. "Did someone order an anesthesiologist? Well, let's see what we can do here."
"Why the hell are you so cheerful? My insides are being ripped apart and you are being cheerful? Mulder, I want this man shot!"
"Honey…"
"I am sorry, but this is not a happy day, this is not a good, joyful, wonderful, terrific day! I repeat, NOT a happy day!!!" Scully looked at Mulder. "And you…You did this to me!I hate you. I never want to see you again and once I am able to get get up and walk again, I will find you and you won't be able to do this to me again if you catch my drift," She said slowly and evilly with a smile on her face.
Mulder gulped as he realized what she meant.
"Don't worry," a nurse whispered in Mulder's ear. "All women say things like that while in labor, but as soon as we get some drugs and have the baby, we calm down."
"I sure hope so," Mulder whispered back.
The nurse patted his shoulder.
End of Flashback
"I've never seen Mulder so happy before," thought Scully. She smiled at the sight. "Maybe all the pain was worth it…or maybe the drugs haven't worn off yet."
"Hey I know," Mulder said, interrupting her thoughts, "Why don't we name her Conspiracy?"
Scully shook her head. "I know I'm still a little drunk on morphine, but I'm not stupid, Mulder. We are not going to call her Conspiracy. It's not a girls name and besides, it's not even a name at all!"
"Conspiria?"
"No." Scully looked thoughtful. "Piper?"
"Nah. How about Luna Christina?"
"That way when she has to use her middle initial, it will say Luna C. Mulder?" Scully laughed. "That's perfect! Lunacy is the perfect word to describe you, Mulder, but I'm not naming my daughter after your mental stability."
"Ha ha, very funny. Black Oilivia? Or Oilivia? You know, after our case with the black oil?"
"No." Mulder looked disappointed. "Ophelia?"
"What kind of name is that?"
"What kind of name is Black Oilivia? I'm naming her Ophelia and that's that!" Scully yelled.
Infact, she yelled almost as loud as when she was in labor…
Flashback
"Oww, oww," Mulder thought. Scully was squeezing his hand into pieces."I knew I shouldn't have told her it was okay to squeeze my hand when it hurt. I thought they were just exaggerating on TV. I guess not."
The nurses were rushing around, trying to contact an anesthesiologist so they could sedate Scully. Scully was by far, the loudest woman in labor the hospital had dealt with in years. She was waking people up all over the recently quiet hospital. It was, after all, 3:30 in the morning and people would not be happy to be woken up to blood-curdling screaming.
"I want that doctor in her now!!" Scully yelled. "This is insane! There has to be an anesthesiologist somewhere in this hospital!"
"Ma'am, we are in the process of finding him. Please be patient while we locate him."
"'Be patient?' You want me to be patient? Have you lost your miiiiind?!"
"Mrs. Scully, you have just had another contraction-"
"Really? I did? Thank you for telling me, because I couldn't feel my insides being ripped to shreds!!!"
"Another contraction, but you need to calm down a bit," the nurse said patiently. "You are not fully dilated yet, and you still have a little while to go. There are other patients here who are trying to get some sleep."
"Well, maybe you should put padding on the walls because I have intention of stopping my screaming!!" "Honey," Mulder said cautiously, "Can you let go of my hand? I think it's broken." Scully let go. "Are you sure you don't want to calm down a little…or I mean be a little quieter?"
"No, I will not calm down. I don't care if I wake everyone up in this hospital because there must be someone here, at least one woman, who knows what it's like to have a baby without anesthesia. I will not calm down, even if there isn't anybody out there in the hospital who has any sympathy at all my body being destroyed by this little monster of a child!! I don't know where people get that saying. You know, the one where they say, 'The birth of your baby will be the best day of your life.' Or this one, 'The miracle of childbirth.' What miracle? I don't call this a miracle! I call it cruel and unusual punishment! Torture!! How can any woman be calm and quiet at a time like this?"
Mulder decided that it would not be a good idea to tell his wife that in the old days women were not supposed to scream or make a fuss during childbirth so as not to disturb their husbands. Somehow Mulder thought that Scully would not listen, care, nor spare his life if he made that comment. He just hoped that she was happy that her was there beside during this whole ordeal.
"Hello, hello," said a stranger. "Did someone order an anesthesiologist? Well, let's see what we can do here."
"Why the hell are you so cheerful? My insides are being ripped apart and you are being cheerful? Mulder, I want this man shot!"
"Honey…"
"I am sorry, but this is not a happy day, this is not a good, joyful, wonderful, terrific day! I repeat, NOT a happy day!!!" Scully looked at Mulder. "And you…You did this to me!I hate you. I never want to see you again and once I am able to get get up and walk again, I will find you and you won't be able to do this to me again if you catch my drift," She said slowly and evilly with a smile on her face.
Mulder gulped as he realized what she meant.
"Don't worry," a nurse whispered in Mulder's ear. "All women say things like that while in labor, but as soon as we get some drugs and have the baby, we calm down."
"I sure hope so," Mulder whispered back.
The nurse patted his shoulder.
End of Flashback