Essence
Part Three
By Lady AngelFiren

I was shocked when the forty slid out of the wall on a little metal table thing. Wow, our very own bar, just me an'Hee-chan. Awwwww, how sweet of the scary old men. So, I rationalized that whatever happened, I'd probably rather be drunk than sober and waltzed over to where the whisky sat, pouring myself a shot and downing it without much thought. Blech, nasty strong stuff, that. I could feel the familiar crawl of the liquid as it seeped down my throat and coated my insides with quiet fire. The surprise quickly faded, and I gestured for Heero to come join me, telling him my theory about us and drunk lab rats as he was getting up. I quickly and courteously poured him a shot in his own metal glass, slapping it into his hand even as I poured myself a second. So I'm skilled with the bottle, can you blame me? *grin*

Heero glared at me but didn't let any of what he was thinking seep onto his face, it remained a stony mask. I'd never been drunk with him before, and I was looking forward to seeing that soldierly exterior drop or at least bend a little. I mean, it is _so_ not fair that he gets to hear me all the time, and I don't even get normal human reactions from him, much less empathic or telepathic impressions!

Heero looked at the whisky like it would die if he glared hard enough at it. I couldn't help but laugh. "Heero, its not gonna bitech'ya! Go on, suck it back!" As I was talking he glared some more then lifted the glass to his lips. I couldn't even swallow another shot until was done laughing at his reaction. He sipped it from the glass, rather than just drinking it down. It was hilarious! His face got all scrunched up and his eyes watered furiously as he forced himself to swallow the whole thing that way. A sick expression came over his face as he tried to hide his disgust, failing miserably. A shudder, and then he had himself under a little more control, but it was still ceaselessly entertaining.

"Heero! Haven't you ever taken shots before? You don't sip it, you pull it down as fast as you can! _Now_ whose a baka, eh? Lets try another one, together this time. We'll play shooters."

He looked up at me with a terrible glare, then back at the bottle as if he thought I was gonna make him drink the whole thing at once or something. He had to be trying to melt it with his laser eyes, I swear. It was too funny. Surprisingly, he got somewhat defensive.

"I haven't done this before. I don't know how. _Do_ we have to drink the whole bottle?" there was concern, almost fear in his voice. I downed my second quickly, growling at the sharp taste as it rolled slowly through my body. I was pleased to feel a little wave of heat rising in my stomach and groin, just a reminder why I enjoyed this particular activity so well.

"Normally no, we certainly wouldn't, but I don't know how much its gonna take you to get drunk, what with all the poking and prodding J's done, so we'll just have to wait and see. Here, this'll help you along." I smiled maliciously and handed him a second as I poured myself a third. This time he watched me closely and then followed my exact movements when he drank, and was more successful. In fact, he didn't even flinch, he just knocked the metal glass back down on the sad little bar in a gesture that did nothing but demand more. Soldier much?

I poured him another (it was turning into a thoughtless habit now that we'd managed to dent the forty a little) and waited for him to down it, then poured him yet _another_ and watched as he evened out with me. We were at four each now, and I was _definitely_ feeling the effects. I walked over to the beds, sitting on the one that had become 'mine' and giggling unintentionally as the room quirked and wavered around me. I didn't spill the precious whisky though, no siree Bob, I wouldn't do _that!_ Heh heh, BobI'm a cheap drunk, so sue me!

Heero came after me, not swaying even a bit except for in my vision. He sat down beside me and took the bottle, pouring himself another shot and downing it like an old pro. I giggled again and swung an arm around him.

"Thought it tasted bad Heeee-chan" I said, only drawing out his name 'cause I knew he hated it when I called him that. I wasn't _that_ drunk! I took the bottle and sucked a mouthful straight from it, earning a 'look' from Heero, eyebrows raised and all. This was immensely funny to me, and I broke out into a fit of little giggles that had probably just shattered any hope I had of being 'manly' in Heero's eyes ever again. He looked at me queerly and then frowned, his brows knitting together a little.

"I feel your thoughts are different, they'reslower. But I don't feel any different. Why not?" Like he didn't know. I think he was just playing on my tipsy state. I took another pull off the bottle and handed it to him, loving the friction that tingled through me when his hand brushed lightly against mine. I rubbed his back and chuckled thickly, urging him to drink. He did. He lifted it to his lips and dranka lot. He damn near doubled what he'd already had! I took the bottle from him and set it out of the way on the floor, managing to fall off the bed in the process. Once again, immensely funny. I sat there in a little heap for a few moments, laughing into the floor until I felt Heero's hands slide under my arms and start to pull me up. I stopped to take another pull off the bottle before I allowed him to drag me back up onto the bed. He took said bottle from me and placed it on a metal night table that I hadn't even noticed. I made note of the drawers and hoped that it contained any necessary 'items' we'd need for our little 'evaluation.'

"Heero" I breathed and crawled onto him, not even trying to hide my arousal and the full-body flush of heat that had taken me. I laughed at the way his eyes widened, as if he hadn't expected me to be so forward. Now _that_ was funny! I pushed him down onto his back, crawling on all fours over him and laying myself down on top of him so that out chests pressed together. Heat was forming over his skin as the alcohol took over and raised his heart rate. I squirmed giddily and reached a hand up to touch his cheek. Sure enough it was very warm, and his eyes had a glaze to them, accompanying the blush that had risen on his face. I bent my head low over him and breathed into his ear, stealing a nibble while I was at it. He jerked a little, but growled deeply when I nipped him.

"Feel it now, Sssholdier boy?" I asked with an unnaturally huge grin, trying my best to get myself to speak clearly, but wasn't quite as successful as I'd hoped. Like I said, I'm a cheap drunk.

I never gave him a chance to answer. My body acted before I'd decided what to do, and I was pressing my mouth down over Heero's, tasting the whisky on his breath. My tongue plunged into him and began to twine around his, evoking whimpers at first, then a heady groan as one of my hands snaked down his torso to tease him by stroking his inner thighs without touching his arousal through the skintight spandex he was wearing. He shifted, trying to get me to touch his erection, but my hand danced nimbly out of the way, moving higher up on his body. I broke our kiss, choosing instead to bite at one of his lips before moving down to his neck. His breaths were coming more quickly now, as he gasped to replace the air lost on the kiss. The sound of his breathing, the way wasn't just smooth, but had a thick, raspy quality to it as it was drawn to and from his lips made me almost squeal with heat and pleasure.

I planted my knees firmly on the bed on either side of him and stretched like a cat over top of his body, loving the feel of all my clothes shifting over my sensitive, flushed skin. He growled at me in 'that tone,' and I couldn't stop myself from taking his mouth once more in mine and invading the welcoming heat of him with my tongue. I made sure to ground my erection into his as I was doing this, effectively distracting him as I began to peel off his tank top. And slide a hand into his shorts. The direct touch of his burning skin on mine was almost too much.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I still didn't feel a thing as I watched Duo stagger only slightly on his way to the bed, and by the time he'd started drinking directly from the bottle I was starting to wonder if this wasn't a bad idea. So when he handed me the bottle and I drank as much of the burning liquid as I could without throwing up everywhere, I really had no idea what to expect. The whisky was like fire going down my throat, but it quickly faded as a feeling of pleasurable heat came over me in a thick wave. It started in my groin, and I was taken completely by surprise when I watched myself bend down and pull Duo up against me on the bed. It was hard not to laugh out loud, but I quickly found my mouth occupied with other things, like Duo's skilled tongue, his slurred words floating through my head.

/ 'Feel it now, Sssholdier boy?' /

/Uh huh,/ I thought and once more had to work at not giggling madly. I felt so...hot and hyper! All I wanted was to do plunge myself into Duo's firm, sweaty form and stay there forever. From him I was getting a jumble of thoughts, but none of it made any sense through the blanket of heat that had wrapped itself around my mind. There was only the heat of Duo and the pleasures that continued to increase as he moved down to my neck and sucked at the skin, then bit down lightly before releasing me to blow softly on the moistened patch of taut flesh he'd been teasing. One of his hands made its way down my torso in a slow line of fire that was causing me to moan incoherently and throw my head back on the bed, eyes closing to bask in sensation. In the darkness behind my closed eyelids, I felt my body tingle and pulse with welcome heat, and it was almost like I had begun to spin on my back, at an easy pace.

I felt Duo's lips on my own once more, and strongly tasted the whisky on his breath as I'm sure he tasted it on mine. Suddenly there was a streak of light in the darkness I'd been flying through and my eyes snapped open when Duo's hand touched my aching arousal. I realized I was still sprawled out on my back with Duo on top of me, kissing my lips and stroking my manhood as he did it. It was like I'd been 'away' for a moment, but it really didn't matter. I groaned with pleasure, unable to keep myself from thrusting into his hand as he touched me. My back arched, and my body shivered. I felt heavy, almost thick, but it was immensely satisfying, like I was a gate for some wide river of heat and feeling to flow directly through, touching every part of my body as it moved. Inside and out I felt a sense of that same rush, and it excited me to no end.

Duo released my mouth with a sound that was more of a moan than a giggle when I finally remembered my arms enough to use them. His flesh was hot and wet, and the layers of shirts he always wore had matted to his thin form from the heat. I pushed on his chest and tried to force myself into a sitting position on the bed. My arms felt weak and rubbery, but the heat did not cease so I really didn't care. After a few tries I managed to sit up and was intently unfastening the buttons on Duo's priest-style shirt, when I realized that he had somehow managed to get my own green tank top off of me without my even knowing. I found this hilariously funny, and began to laugh, falling back on the bed and forgetting all about the buttons I'd just about halfway undone. I closed my eyes and laughed into the swimming, floating darkness that enveloped me. Duo's voice and his pokes on my stomach did not register until he grabbed my erection and tugged vigorously. The feeling was getting far away, like I was floating outside myself.

Opening my eyes once more I found the room was spinning uncontrollably around my head, and my vision was watery and bleary from the tears I'd shed while laughing. A little voice in my head told me that 'this isn't right!!!' but I could not have cared less. I ignored Duo, who was talking to me even through his drunken haze and let the tippy, swirly dark come over me again. I couldn't feel myself anymore, like my head was completely numb. I wasn't hearing any thoughts at all, and Duo's angry words did not make any difference in my surrender to unconsciousness.

~*~*~*~A few hours later~*~*~*~

I sat up suddenly, having been pulled from sleep by the silence in the room around me. My head swam and my vision squirmed in protest to my actions, and before I could get a grip on myself I rolled over and vomited onto the cold steel floor beside my bed. Wiping at my mouth with one hand, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to get my stomach to quit doing flip flops as I sat perfectly still on the bed.

When I felt capable of opening my eyes again, I tried it and looked around the room. It was the same austere metal enclosure I remembered entering earlier. From my internal clock, I could tell I'd been in the room for about five hours, and that I had spent roughly four of those hours unconscious. Piss drunk is more like it.

I vaguely remembered the doctor's words before Duo and I had been presented with the forty of whisky and given the order to 'drink up.' I clenched my fists at the fuzzy way my head was feeling, and glared with malice at the bottle on top of a metal nightstand I didn't remember being there before. Then again, I'd passed out while Duo was pleasuring me, so I really didn't trust my own judgement on that one.

Remembering what had happened, I cringed through the thick feeling in my head and looked around for Duo. He was not in the room. This worried me, and I opened up my mind, forcing back the pain that entered from using my sense through the hangover I'd developed. I found him in the room adjacent to mine, and after assessing his situation, discovered that he was still quite unconscious and would not be awakening for several hours. I suppose it took him longer to process the alcohol he'd consumed, but that left me alone with my thoughts until I could listen to his.

I realized I was immensely thirsty, and was glad to find that the little metal panel that had originally presented Duo and myself with whisky was replenished. There was a metal pitcher of water and a tall metal glass for me to help myself from, which I did, drinking greedily. Then I became aware of the lavatory facilities which could be accessed at the push of a button and made use of them as well.

With nothing much to do until Duo woke up, I settled into a corner of the bed and sat against the wall, willing the ache in my head to stop and wishing I had something to do. Boredom isn't so easy as you'd think, especially when you both wish something would happen and dread the thing you know will eventually occur.

I opened up my mind, hovering closely around Duo just to make _sure_ he was ok and noticed that the presence of his dead friend was also hovering closely, almost thickly around him. I wondered who it was and turned my attentions elsewhere. There was a dimming of all the lights in the room, and I heard a voice in my mind, but it was different, like it had been sent or actually _directed_ at me. I jerked in my head but didn't physically move a muscle as the whispy voice whispered into me.

~~I'm Solo please, tell Duo I love'im, and I'm watch'in 'im, alright? I can't talk like this much, its tirin'. Makes me weak, an'I have to be there for'im, so I can't get weak. Heero, tell'im I love'im. Pleasethank you.~~

The last part, the 'thank you,' was said more pleadingly than the rest, like it was really meant to hit home. I had no idea how to react. I'd never had a thought actually sent into my head before, I'd always just picked them up from other people. It was eerie, to hear that rich voice sing through my mind. Filled with so much longing and pain I wanted to go and hug Duo and relate the feeling back to this Solo character, just so he wouldn't hurt anymore. I knew I couldn't do that, but I was struck with an unusual desire to cry for whoever he was and I couldn't make myself react. I felt a little bit like Duo had when he learned of myabilities.

The presence hugged Duo's sleeping form some more and then evaporated. I got the distinct feeling that it was exhausted from the message. The lights went back to their full power and I was left to ponder what had just happened while my head slowly throbbed and I clenched and unclenched my fists to gain focus through the hangover.

Who was Solo, anyway? I would have to ask Duo. Maybe a brothera lover? No, they were too young to be lovers. I often got pictures of 'Solo,' but I never got an explanation. It piqued my curiosity and gave me something more to think about.

I was suddenly very tense with anticipation andsomething else.. I was realizing how much I did not want to be here, how much I wanted my freedomIt really did not seem fair that I had to spend my life alone and unhappy in places like this _cage,_ when every other person got to be free. However, I thought about the good I was probably doing by helping so many with my life, that it pretty much evened itself out. If I had to die, but consequentially others would live in peace, shouldn't I do it?

Yes.

It was the only conclusion my mind would allow itself to come to. As I clenched my fists tightly once more, I thought about the things that had passed through the old lady's mind as she drew her last breath in the apartment building back on Earth the night before. She had a family, and that family had their own family, and now they had no need of her; it was better that she go. But before, when they were small and needed care, her children had _demanded_ they get attention, and it wasn't an option for her. Now, she had become a burden to them, and it was best that she die in her little apartment, alone and cold, so that those children she had spent her whole life nurturing and caring for could go on without her and enjoy their happiness. I found this disturbing, and tried to think of what it had to do with Solo and I aside from the obvious. I don't like to admit it, but I felt very much like that.