Essence
Part Ten
By Lady AngelFiren


The day crawled along way too slowly. I stayed at the hospital with Heero, but I really needed to be getting back to school. I had Relena to hunt down, and the asshole principal was probably wondering where I was. I asked Heero if he wanted me to put him back in bed, and he told me that he would rather stay by the window, so that's where I put him.

Bumming some change off a nurse, I went to the payphones in the lobby and searched out the St. Jame's Secondary Academy in the phone book. I called, and instantly recognized the voice of the nice lady that had first helped us get settled. She asked me what was going on, and after I started to tell her she told me to hold for the principal. This was a serious enough issue that he needed to know what was happening.

A minute later, Mr. Jackson's voice was on the other end of the line asking me what had happened. I told him that Heero had an accident and his legs were temporarily paralyzed.

"Heero? That boy in your room, right? When will you be coming back to school?" He didn't even seem to care about Heero, it made me mad. Bastard.

"Uhm, I'm the closest thing Heero has to family, I'm going to be staying with him sir. Unfortunately, we need some of our clothes and things. If at all possible, I need to go back to the school and pick some things up. Can you do that?"

"Well, you see Duo, since you're such a nice young guy, I can make an exception for you. I will take the afternoon off and come pick you up so you can get some of your things, then I'll drive you back to the hospital."

"Thank you sir."

"Don't mention it. You can do extra homework to make up for it."

"Great. Don't you even want to know how Heero is doing?"

"No, he'll be fine. Probably knockin' up the male staff. You know he's gay, don't you? I can have your room changed if you don't want to be around him."

"Excuse me? Heero is my friend! Don't talk about him like that!"

"What? He's a fag, not my problem if he doesn't like how he gets treated, maybe he shouldn't be gay then."

"Goodbye sir, when will you be here?"

"An hour and a half, at the front lobby."

"Fine."

I slammed the phone on the receiver and made my way back over to Heero's room. What a goddamned BASTARD! Who did he think he was, bashin' Heero? I wanted to cram my fist down his throat and burn his eyes out with a cigarette, he made me so mad! And that toneless voice he always used, like he was nothin' more than a fuckin cyborg. Shit.

I took the stairs to vent my anger. I wasn't even out of breath by the time I got up them; stupid efficient tireless body, I couldn't even stomp angrily without feeling better!

Heero was staring out the window in almost the exact same position I'd left him. I noticed that he'd braided a few locks of hair in the front, so that three little braids hung in his face. They looked kinda nice, I wondered why I never did anything cool with my hair, then dismissed the thought.

Heero was radiating indifference and annoyance, I decided not to tell him about my conversation with the bastard Jackson until he asked.

"Hey Heero, I'm goin to get some of our stuff at the school this afternoon, anything in particular you want?"

He didn't look at me, probably to avoid falling out of the chair, because he would have to turn all the way around. It would be nice when he could walk again.

"My laptop, a gun, and some clothes. And a toothbrush. How are you getting to the school? Its an hour away by car."

"I called, Jackson is coming to pick me up." At the bastard's name, I seethed angrily, wanting to hurt the man so much I was starting to think that maybe me riding in a tiny car with him for a whole hour wasn't such a good idea. I have a short fuse, and he knew all the right buttons to push to make me mad.

"The principal?" A picture of Jackson formed in Heero's mind, it was the expression of disgust on his face when he had been talking to Heero the other day. It only made me angrier. My voice came out low and full of malice.

"Yes. The principal."

"Ah."

Good old tactful, quiet Heero, not asking questions. Gotta love the guy sometimes. I was getting sick of talking to the back of his head, so I went and sat on the end of his bed that was close to the window. I couldn't really see his face past the curtain of hair. I was actually happy not to be able to see it. It was freakin' me out, how I was attracted to him, but he was in my body. I was attracted to my own body. I knew there had to be something not right in that equation.

The funny thing is, Heero would look at me, and I could feel that he liked what he saw. He was having the same problem; he was attracted to me, but I was in his body, and he was uncomfortable with liking his own body. Why can't Heero and I ever have _normal_ problems? I mean, if he got a zit, and we had a date that night, and he was hyped about the zit, that would be normal, if a little shallow. But to be worrying about who was in your own _body?_ It was freaky!

At least his thoughts were taking my mind off of Jackson, Christ knows I'd be having enough of _that_ bastard later, I didn't need to be thinking of him now.

"So, you want me to put you back on the bed? I'm gonna be leavin' soon, it would suck if you were stranded"

"No, I'll stay here Duo."

Heero felt, to me, like he needed some comfort. All this bad shit was happenin to him, and there was no-one around to hold his hand but me. And I was a seriously crappy person to have around when you needed a friend. I mean, I have to be one of the most self-centered people I know-even that sentence; I, I, I! Its always about me! Mwha.

I put my hand on his shoulder. And the crowds were amazed as I managed a sentence that was actually kinda sensitive and comforting, although it figures my powerful...er, power of sensitivity was wasted on the one guy who really needed it. Sometimes I swear Heero practices being a bastard just cause he's good at it; like playin a game that you know you'll always win.

"Heero, I know this is hardeverythin's goin' all wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it, but try not to be so grumpy, ok?"

"Hnwhy don't you go wait for Jackson, I want to be alone right now."

"Sure thing Heero. See you."

And with that I walked out of the room and left Heero where he was. He just didn't want me to see him all helpless, I know it. The feeling of complete and utter embarrassment was oozing off of him in thick waves, humiliation and shame not very far behind. I went out to the lobby to wait for my ride.

~*~*~*~

One happy hour later, the stern impression that Mr. Jackson gave off came into the hospital, and I looked up to see him a few moments before he saw me. I stifled my anger and hatred for the man quite well, if I do say so myself, considering it was the only thing I could do at the time. He led me out to his car and I got in the backseat on the passenger side, trying to be as far away from him as possible.

Unfortunately, empathy, or telepathy, or whatever-the-fuck the power came with this body was called, reached a lot further then the space inside the car. Jackson had this tendency to broadcast his thoughts at an unreasonable volume, like really wanted everyone in a ten kilometer radius to know he was thinking naughty thoughts about me when he saw me.

I shivered as that realization hit. Mr. Homophobic-Bastard-Jackson was thinking naughty thoughts about a BOY! I couldn't believe it, he was beating Heero up over it, and the man was GAY! He drove in silence for a little while, thinking about how he had the power to stop the car and fuck me, if that's what he really wanted to do. And he really wanted to do it. Ewwwww!!!! I was getting nauseous from reading his thoughts, but like I said, he was thinking in surround sound, I couldn't block them out.

My feeble attempt to save the contents of my stomach was to start a conversation with him.

"So, is auto class fun at the school sir?" I asked, my voice in its usual low tone, now that I had Heero's voice. I had to admit though, I could see why I liked his voice before it was my own, it kind of rumbled my chest with quiet strength. Very sexy to listen to. Too bad I'd probably never get to hear him use his own voice ever again, our situation really sucked ass, now that I think about it.

"I'm sorry Duo, what did you say?"

"I was just wondering about auto tech, is it a good class? I'm taking it, I like cars."

"Its excellent. Everything at St. Jame's is excellent, our school is very well-off."

"That's cool. I'm kind of tired, I think I'll take a nap until we get there, ok sir?"

"Fine Duo, do whatever you like."

I was insanely glad he didn't ask me anything about gays or Heero or anything even remotely along that lines, I just wasn't in the mood to deal with it right now. I really was tired, so I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes, settling off to sleep and trying to block out as many of Jackson's thoughts as possible.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Duo left me by the window in my room, and I waited there a full hour, just so that I was sure he was gone, before I sighed to myself and decided to try moving on my own. I looked down at my useless legs, they were pale white and cold because all I had to wear was a hospital gown. I ran a hand over my skin, I could only half feel it. It was like having pins and needles, but instead of that tingly feeling, there was just this numbness.

I looked at my bare feet, propped up on the footrests so that they wouldn't drag on the floor. I tried wiggling my toes, and nothing happened. The ability to move my legs had just abruptly been suspended, they were useless.

There was a seatbelt in the chair, which I fastened to avoid falling out; that would be all I needed, falling out of the chair and not being able to reach the call button to get a nurse. Long hair fell over my eyes and into my lap, it would probably get in the way. I tore the hem off of the thin blue-green gown I was wearing and used it as a hair-tie. OK. I was ready to try moving.

Leaning forward and grabbing the wheels, I pulled, trying to go backwards so that I could get away from the window. Unfortunately the break was still on, and I didn't go anywhere. Scrunching my face up in distaste I twisted in my seat to try and see the brake; maybe I could reach it. Why would they make wheelchairs that someone sitting in couldn't move? That would be illogical.

Apparently the chairs _were_ made for a normal-sized adult, and had I been in my own body I would have been able to reach the brake release, but my fingers were about three inches too far away. I sighed and tried to stretch far enough to reach it, but I was still much too far away. Growling in frustration, I turned around and tried to reach it from the other side, but that turned out to be just as hopeless.

Great. Time to try a new tactic. Thinking about the different positions I could manage, I decided that I would have to get out of the chair if I wanted to unlock the break, otherwise I would tip it over by leaning too far. I looked behind me; Duo, thankfully, had closed the door to my room, so I would not receive any visitors unless there were nurses that did routine checkups. I hoped not, I really didn't want someone to catch me completely defenseless on the floor beside my chair.

I unbuckled myself and looked at the floor in front of me. It seemed so far away. I lifted my legs onto the floor one at a time, pulling the footrests up and to the sides. There, now all I had to do was get onto the floor. I scooted myself forward so that I was sitting on the edge of the seat, then moved each leg so that it was mostly under the chair; that way I wouldn't fall on them and end up with a broken leg on top of everything else. The only thing I could do was fall forward and hope that the tile floor was kind to me.

I fell ungracefully sideways, twisting my knee in the process. The faraway pain flowered up my leg, but it was irrelevant, I had to learn to move around by myself, even if I did end up in pain some of the time. So, I'd made it to the floor. I was laying there, my face against the tiles, long chestnut hair having escaped its make-shift tie, so it was all around me. Both legs were underneath the chair, but I couldn't sit up to move them, so I belly-crawled away from the chair. The cold floor sent shivers through me even as my body worked to move itself under limitations.

Having dragged myself out of the chair's reach, I took a break for a second, panting from the effort of moving this way. I had already torn open some of the stitches on my elbows; fresh blood slicked each of them and made it difficult to pull myself forward.

I struggled like a fish out of water to turn around and reach the brake. Once it was unlocked, I recalled what had happened to me before, when I was in the bathroom. The chair would be impossible to get into with the break off.

Clenching my teeth and sighing in thick frustration and defeat, I put the brake back on and slowly dragged my worthless legs with me into a sitting position. Now I was back where I'd started, only tired from the effort. I rubbed at the stubborn blood on my arms with my gown and wiped the sweat from my face. It clung to my hair and sent damp tendrils wandering over my eyes. Frustrated, I yanked my hair back out of my face and took a few breaths, trying to calm myself down enough to think of another way to approach the situation.

I looked down at the unreachable brake. My outward calm was completely shot, I was a mess. All I wanted to do was movewhy did it have to be so hard? I hated the brake right now, it was the focus of all my heated anger. Anger that was worse since I had adopted Duo's form, everything in him made me act more, feel more. I hated that too.

The anger was intense, I was definitely too worked up over something as small as this, as a general rule I never got this mad. My head started to feel light, I was breathing heavily. The sound of laboured pants was the only thing in the room, it swallowed up the sound of the clock ticking evenly.

I watched as the brake started to move of its own volitionseemingly. I could feel all the little molecules that composed it, and it was like I was making them do what I wanted. I could feel everything else in the room too, the walls, the clock, the bedeverything. My eyes were sightlessit was in my head. The brake slipped out of place and I felt the chair come into my control, but I was too busy passing out to do anything about it.

My world went white and I slumped down in the chair, unconscious.

~*~*~*~

When I came to again, I was lying on the bed. Someone had folded the chair up and slid it against the wall. My legs were the first thing I tested out, but the still didn't work. Hn. I was alone in the rooma nurse must have come and put me in bed. I tried to think about what had happened.

Everything had gone white, I really couldn't recall what I had done. Nothing seemed out of place, maybe I was dreaming. Figures I wouldn't even be able to remember if something relevant happened to me. I was definitely feeling depressed and worthless right now, I was at a low.

Fortunately, there was some relief, I felt warmth on my skin, hot breath over my face, although there was not really anything there. Solo, of course. He had come to comfort me againthis was getting to be a pattern. I get upset and Solo comes to make me feel better.

/Go away...I don't need your pity./

~~You would prefer if I left you alone? Heero, I couldbut I really think you're going to need some guidanceyou don't realize what just happened, do you. You moved that brake with your mindtelekinesis. Not your power, Duo's, but he doesn't know about it. You unlocked it. You have to learn to control it.~~

/Bullshit./

I felt sick inside, all I needed was some uncontrollable destructive power to add to the situation...things always seemed to get worse for me.

~~Pessemist. You could have it lots worse. I'm dead, believe methere are worse things than paralysis.~~

/Just go away, I don't want you seeing me like this...If you want to help me then kill me./

~~Think before you speak YuyIf I knew you weren't totally full of shit I might listen to ya, anyway, I'll let you alone for nowbut be careful with your anger, I'm warning you.~~

And, with timely convenience, Solo evaporated once more to leave me alone with my selfish pity and hurt.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sir Jackson, supreme lord almighty of all things sick and perverted and scary (not to mention the fact that he's a freak) pulled the car up to the school and I was on my way out before he even stopped. Enough of his sick mind.I couldn't take much more and still stand to face himbut I had realized after speaking with him on the phone that he needed to be removed from his position at the school before someone got raped or something, namely me.

Sure I could fend him off without killing him, but I really didn't need to be wasting my energy on him when I was already cramped into such a fucking horrible mess with Heero. I figured that if it came down to the doctors choosing which of us deserved to have the properly working body that they would pick him over me every time, simply because he was a colder soldier, according to them. Maybe if they'd had a little listen in on his thoughts in the past few days they would realize that he wasn't nearly as loyal to them as they would like for him to be, but that wasn't my business. It isn't entirely fare to just say that I wash my hands of this whole thing and be done with it, I know that, but at the time, there was nothing else I could do but tell myself that I had to find a way to fix Heero, otherwise I would be doomed to be paralyzed, and he would have to work double-time in my absence.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not only concerned with saving my own ass, but you can probably understand that I was pretty ticked at the moment, especially with Solo making a silent appearance the night before. Jealousy will make a person do a lot of things they wouldn't normally do.

I dashed into the school after a hasty thank you. I couldn't believe that I had willingly participated in the freak car ride with the sex-obsessed principle from Hell. Jesus Christ, as long as I live I will never forget to appreciate all the kindly old ladies in the world who would have driven me without the sex thoughts. *cringe* Yeesh. I hurried into mine and Heero's room, and I was absolutely shocked beyond all belief to find that the place had been ransacked. Oh it looked fine on the surface, but beneaththere were things missing. Like Heero's laptop. My laptop. Every fucking weapon that we'd had in the place, except for my gun, which had been under my pillow. Guess whoever it was didn't even think to look there. Weird. I was about ready to keel over from total shock at this point. I was hunting around frantically, tearing stuff out of drawers, the whole deal. Who the HELL had been in here!?

This was really bad. Whoever it was now had everything on both mine and Heero's laptops, and not only that but they would have our weapons, which left us mostly unarmed. It had been a pretty thorough job too, not a fingerprint on anything, so far as I could tell. And what was I supposed to do, report the lost weapons and top secret military information to the police? To the school? Rightno way.

Fighting for control over my voice so I didn't scream at the empty room, I packed up some clothes for myself and Heero. There wasn't much else here of any value, neither sentimental nor monetary, and certainly nothing left of any military sort of value. It was driving me insane that I didn't know who had done thisI would have to talk it over with Heero before I started to draw blanks alone. Two is always more fun than one, right?

I went into the bathroom to get Heero's toothbrush and there was a note on the counter. It was written in plain blue ink from a Bic Stic by the looks of it, and it was on a yellow sticky note, of the variety that everyone has. No sense in trying to trace the paper or the pen to any kind of original source, everyone and their grandma had a Bic pen and a little pad of yellow sticky notes. Damnit. Fucking Hell. The letters were all capitals, very obviously done that way so the handwriting couldn't be traced. The note read as follows:

HA HA TRY AND CATCH ME
I WANT TO WATCH YOU CRY
WHEN YOU SEE WHAT I CAN
DO WITH ALL THE POWER YOU
HAVE WASTED. I AM GOING
TO WIN. AND WHEN I DO, THEY
WILL PICK ME. HA HA HA HA.
MUCH LOVE.??
P.S. YOU CAN'T STOP THE
INEVITABLE, AND YOU CAN
NEVER STOP ME.

I felt like I was going to be sick. I tucked the note into my bag so I could show it to Heero, maybe he would understand it more, or recognize something I had missed. To me, it looked like the writing could have been stenciled, it was that lacking in character. But Heero has a good eye for stuff I simply don't see, so maybe he would get more out of the infuriating little note than me.

There was nothing else I could do here. I took one more look around the room and carried the two bags full of clothes out to the car, where Mr. Jackson had been waiting for me. Suddenly I didn't have the energy to care what he thought about on the trip back to the hospital, fuck it. It really didn't matter to me what he thought about now, he showed no evidence of having any kind of knowledge about what I had discovered in my room, so I didn't consider him a suspect, therefore he was irrelevant to me at the moment.

Either way it was a long trip back to the hospital, but I survived, my mind was completely occupied with trying to figure the situation out. Everything else had taken the backseat. I really had to wonder why whoever it was had bothered to write a note at all, it was already a totally bold statement that they were able to seamlessly get into my room and steal everything that showed I was a Gundam pilotbut to leave this mocking note.I was really stumped, and scared too.

When I got to the hospital, Jackson let me out after offering to take me back to the school if that was what I wanted. I told him that I would rather stay with my friend. He looked angry about that, but I was really glad when he leftwhether he had anything to do with the theft or not he was still a disgusting creep and I hated him deeply.

I rode the elevator to Heero's floor and walked through the halls to his room. I knocked on the door.

"Heero its meare you awake?"

"Ah."

His voice was quiet, I assumed he'd been thinking. Actually I know he'd been thinking, although about what I am not entirely sure. He was hiding it from me, so I couldn't hear him.

I walked into the room and shut the door behind me, setting the bags on the floor and pulling the little note out. I went and sat on his bed. He looked confused at the grim look on my face and in my eyes.

"What is it?" he asked after I had been silent for a little too long.

"You aren't going to believe thisbut we've been robbed."

"Huh?" his expressive face reflected his confusionhe didn't get it. He stopped with blocking his mind off from me, because he knew I could explain things to him better if I understood what he understood.

"I'm not kiddingI went back to our room and everything looked fine, like nobody touched it. But both our laptops are gone, all the guns except for the one that was under my pillowand whoever did it left this." I handed him the note so he could read it.

As Heero read his brows drew together and I saw real anger collecting on his features, his skin got darker and his eyes flashed violet. He slammed his fist down on the bed and I jumped up in total shock as I felt his rage hit me like a brick wall. Nobody, especially not Heero, ever got this mad over anything really. He was insane mad now, if he'd been holding a gun he probably would have killed something. This wasn't a rational thingsure it was bad what had happened, but I honestly don't think it merited this kind of rage.

"Heero.stop itcalm downtake a breath.-"

I was stopped mid-sentence when I heard a thick cracking sound. I turned to face the window, my eyes wide. There was a spider's web of intricate little cracks in it, that had been the sound. As I watched, the Lay-Z-Boy was slammed into the wall hard by invisible force and the window shattered upon itself, sending shards of glittery glass onto the floor and out the window to the ground below. The chair had hit the wall so hard that the plaster cracked. Then everything was totally silent, not that there had been much noise in the first place, aside from the sound of glass shattering. In all the excitement I had completely missed out on whatever Heero had been thinking, and when I looked at him again he was passed out, his forehead beaded with sweat, his eyes rolled up in his head.

I shook. I hit the call button several times and I felt sick and panicked as a nurse came into the room, followed by another one. My hands were shaking, I felt like I might faint. They hurried me out of the room and at some point one of them stuck me with a needle which must have contained some kind of sedative, because I was out cold before I knew what was happening to me.