And the winner is....
By:
Darkness VII
What I say...: 'And the winner is' is what would happen if I had my own wacky award ceremony. These would be the awards I would like to give the FoR cast.
Warning: Major stupidity
D-7 (host): And welcome to the first and probably only awarding ceremony for our beloved Flame of Recca cast.
(everyone applauds)
D-7: For our first award, the giant fish tank trophy for the world's biggest sea monkey, Mr. Recca Hanabishi.
Recca: Yatta! (jumps for joy)
Tokiya: (sighs and mutters) He shouldn't be happy about that.
(everyone applauds)
Recca: I would like to thank everyone who gave me their full support for me to win this award. I don't really deserve this, but none the less, thanks. I would also like to thank my...
D-7: (pushes Recca away) Anyway, onto the next award. For the best actress award, I award Ms. Yanagi Sakoshita. She has been able to retain her gentle look in spite her real identity.
Recca: Nani!?!? Hime, what does she mean?
Yanagi: Quit calling me 'Hime' you wanna be ninja asshole!
Recca: Nani!?
Yanagi: Shut up (walks to the stage) Thanks (snatches trophy away) I would like to thank everyone who fell for my act, especially you Hanabishi. Thank you everyone. *laughs evilly*
Recca: 'Hanabishi'? (cries) I'm upset
D-7: (operates a giant crane that yanks a still evilly laughing Yanagi off the stage) Thank you, Yanagi, for the next award, the giant banana award that goes to... Ms. Fuuko Kirisawa, the talking and largest monkey in the world.
Fuuko: Nani!?!
Tokiya: Go take it, Fuu-chan, you deserve it.
Fuuko: Nani!?! Mi-chan, you of all the people!?! How dare you!?! (gets ready to attack)
Tokiya: (turns into a scared little puppy dog) Gomen...
D-7: Erhem, as I was saying, please come over to the stage and receive your award, Ms. Kirisawa.
Fuuko: Nandatto!?! (takes her fuujin out) FUUJIN!!! (Throws a wind blast)
D-7: Don't underestimate me! (brings out a yo-yo) Take that! Whoops, wrong one (takes out $100 bill) There! (the wind blast turns into a greedy blob of wind and takes the $100 bill)
Fuuko: Kuso! Alright! I'll take it...
D-7: Arigatou, Kami-sama...(sighs gratefully) Yipes, that was the last of my money! (sniffs) Oh darn... I don't get paid too well....
(everyone applauds)
Fuuko: Well, fine then since they gave it to me, thanks. Thank you to everyone, to...
D-7: (Turns on a giant fan that blows Fuuko away) Thank you, Fuuko (sarcastically) And for the next award, the biggest pervert award, Fujimaru. (brings out a trophy the shape of a bra) Okay, tell me, who made this trophy? It's insolence to women the world over, especially Fuuko!
Fuuko: (Holding on to a giant pillar, trying not to get blown away) I'm not done with you yet D-7! When I get my hands on you... (gets blown away) Aaaaa!
Tokiya: Don't worry Fuu-chan, I'm coming! (runs after his dearest Fuuko [O.o])
D-7: (Ignores Fuuko) Well, come up here Fujimaru!
(all is quiet)
Fujimaru: (Wolf whistles) Yeah, baby. Come here sweet D-7 (whistles again)
D-7: Moron. You really do deserve this award. Here! (Throws the trophy that lands square on his face)
Fujimaru: Seeing a woman mad makes me more... (gets cut off by the flying trophy) Ittai...
D-7: You boorish ass-hole!
Fujimaru: Gomen...women are more powerful than I thought...(starts licking his trophy)
D-7: Security! (Women in uniform drag Fujimaru away) And the next award, for being able to construct dozens and dozens of origami figures without having a single paper cut, Saicho!
(everyone applauds)
Saicho: Who, what, wha? (Scratches his head with a bandaged hand)
D-7: Then again, maybe not... (Throws the trophy into the fire) For the next award, I shall honor Tokiya with this state of the art... Snow Globe!
(everyone applauds)
D-7: Mr. Mikagami? Mikagami? Yoo-hoo? (scans the proximity) Okay, fine. So he's not here, I'll just keep this to myself and play with it later...
After a while, everyone gets an award:
Kurei, for having the Coolest Scar (Coolest Scar Trophy),
Neon, for being the WORST musician (Broken-in-Half Flute Trophy),
Raiha, for being the WORST Swordsman (Crooked Sword Trophy) ,
Miki, for being the fastest Runner (Quick Feet Trophy), [it was quite hard to catch, get it? hehehe...never mind...]
Aki, for being the best illusion artist (Magic Cape Trophy),
Tsukishiro, for being the worst dresser (Ragged Clothes Trophy),
Gashakura, for being the best in costume (Giant Spider Trophy),
Ganko, for having the cutest stuffed Toy (Giant Stuffed Toy Trophy),
Kaoru, for being most annoying (Giant Bug Trophy),
Mokuren, for being the worst gardener (Blue Thumb Trophy),
Kukai, for being the most patient (Golden Buddha Trophy),
Mikoto, for being best con-artist ( Fake $ Bills Trophy)
and Joker, for being the best hider (Giant Tree Trophy). [coz, ya know... kids that play hide and seek often hide behind trees, right?]
(Now who's missing?)
D-7: I think that's about it... (scans the pages of her notebook)
Domon: (While D-7 scans her notebook) Hey, wait a minute! I didn't get any award!
D-7: La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la... (scans some more)
Domon: Hey! Give me an award too!
D-7: (too concentrated) Now let's see...
Domon: Hey, you, girlie! I'm talking to you! Why don't you give me an award!
D-7: (Not hearing anything) Now where was that? Oh here it is! (Domon storms out, not hearing her last words)
Domon: (muttering) If you didn't want to give me an award, you just had to tell me...
D-7: (Unaware of her surroundings, again) And now, for the last award, the Best Hair award, Mr. Domon Ishijima!
(All is quiet)
D-7: Huh? Mr. Ishijima? Where are you? Oh well, I'd better just give it to Mr. Mikagami, for having the second best Hair!
(everyone applauds)
Tokiya: (snatches the trophy away) Thanks. (walks off)
D-7: And that is all for tonight! Enjoy the After Party! And join us next year for the next award ceremony! Goodbye! (ala The Weakest Link)
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Author's Whatever-s: So, how was it? It wasn't that good, was it? I didn't think so... Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks!
E-mail me for comments and suggestions, flames will be put out by automatic sprinklers...
Darkness VII