Sauron strolled up and down the streets of New York City. Oh, the noise of the roads! He likened it to only one thing in his memory: that of the entire horde of Mordor shouting "Jimmy ate my sandwich!" all at once. He then wondered if he had indeed ever heard the entire horde of Mordor shouting such a thing. It didn't matter, anyway. They were all dead.
"One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them." Yes, he had once had that inscribed on his precious One Ring. It seemed silly now, however many years later it was. Yet there it was, printed in Elvish script upon the front of a building he had come to. It was a jewelry shop. Sauron pondered this. Had Men learned the arcane secrets of Ring lore and created so many Rings as to devalue them to the point of common merchants' wares, or were they just being stupid imitator bastards? He decided to walk into the shop and find out.
"Merchant! I must question you."
The owner stared blankly at this strange man in his shop for a second. His first thought was 'this guy is completely black. I mean, completely. Not black like black people black, but really really black. Does he even have eyes on that thing that's supposed to be a face?' His second thought was 'oh hell, it's New York.' He chewed his jaw a few times before replying.
"Yeah? What you want? I'm busy."
"I wish to know if you have mastered arcane Ring lore, or if these Rings you sell, which bear the inscription of ancient Mordor, are merely mockeries of the true One Ring I forged at Orodruin long ago."
The owner's eyes widened slightly for a moment, then returned to their normal expression of ennui. He chewed his jaw some more.
"You some kinda Tolkien freak?"
Sauron was flabbergasted. "I know naught of this 'Tolkien'. Perchance you might direct me to a kiosk of some sort, wherein the information I seek may be storehoused?"
The owner chewed his jaw.
"There's a bookstore down the street. It's called Barnes & Noble. Try there."
Sauron thanked the owner in formal style and turned about, leaving the jewelry shop in much the same spirit as the one he entered with. The owner muttered 'freak' under his breath as he went back to treating his customers.
"One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them." Yes, he had once had that inscribed on his precious One Ring. It seemed silly now, however many years later it was. Yet there it was, printed in Elvish script upon the front of a building he had come to. It was a jewelry shop. Sauron pondered this. Had Men learned the arcane secrets of Ring lore and created so many Rings as to devalue them to the point of common merchants' wares, or were they just being stupid imitator bastards? He decided to walk into the shop and find out.
"Merchant! I must question you."
The owner stared blankly at this strange man in his shop for a second. His first thought was 'this guy is completely black. I mean, completely. Not black like black people black, but really really black. Does he even have eyes on that thing that's supposed to be a face?' His second thought was 'oh hell, it's New York.' He chewed his jaw a few times before replying.
"Yeah? What you want? I'm busy."
"I wish to know if you have mastered arcane Ring lore, or if these Rings you sell, which bear the inscription of ancient Mordor, are merely mockeries of the true One Ring I forged at Orodruin long ago."
The owner's eyes widened slightly for a moment, then returned to their normal expression of ennui. He chewed his jaw some more.
"You some kinda Tolkien freak?"
Sauron was flabbergasted. "I know naught of this 'Tolkien'. Perchance you might direct me to a kiosk of some sort, wherein the information I seek may be storehoused?"
The owner chewed his jaw.
"There's a bookstore down the street. It's called Barnes & Noble. Try there."
Sauron thanked the owner in formal style and turned about, leaving the jewelry shop in much the same spirit as the one he entered with. The owner muttered 'freak' under his breath as he went back to treating his customers.