Disclaimer: These characters, well they don't belong to us, only a few that you will not recognise.

Authors Note: Welcome to chapter 3.. Like we have started to say send us you're description, a brief out line of the character you would like to have and we'll try to slot you in, you'll also have to give us a name for you. But the rest we are free to arse around with - if that's okay with you then we'll see what we can do.

m00fed – Holy poop on a stick!

Ahh, the first day of being at Hogwarts is nearly over…dinner soon…my back is killing me! Seriously, that is the last time I allow a broom to get the better of me!

Ouch…bloody bloody old Sweeper 260…260 in how old it is…well I destroyed it when I crashed into that tree so that's my revenge…I'm fickle, I know, but that's who I am and I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks!

I'm wandering about on one of the many floors in one of the numerous corridors looking for something to do until dinner since all my lessons are over now and I have about an hour free… So I think I'll have a look outside and see what's going on down by the lake…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

What the hell was Nova doing flying down the castle walls????????!!!!! AAA! Nova! You stupid, um, stupid…AAAAAAAAA!

I ran down as fast as I could through the castle only to crash into a pillar of man, it was Professor Snape; I quickly staggered back groaning and holding my head, I seemed to have hit him quite hard in the chest as he stood there holding it and fuming.

"What are you doing running through the corridors? Ten points from Hufflepuff!" He yelled, but I began to hop up and down on the spot stressed and pointing to the window.

"Nova Quillix! She's jumped! She's gone! Window, fall, splash! Lake! AAA!!" Snape sneered at me! I couldn't believe it! This was one of his students.

"I don't believe you." He said coldly, and I was sure he was about to take some more points off me for wasting his time when Draco Malfoy sped round the corner like a loony spotted Snape and began repeating me.

"Quillix! Window! Leapt! Gone! AAAAA!" He said breathlessly as Snape's face became more concerned. What was it with teachers… Find it so bloody difficult to believe a Hufflepuff just because most of the others houses say things that are a lot more plausible.. Just because we're well behaved and loyal! Bastards! "Wasn't my fault!" Draco continued. Snape slammed his fist on the window ledge and stared around like a bird trying to search it's pray.

"You didn't try to stop her!" He yelled at Malfoy. "Look there she is!" He shouted, I could just see her tiny figure in the distance falling then hitting the lake with a great big splash, it was like a bomb had gone off.

"SHE'S DEAD!!" I screamed throwing my hands over my face and running away to see if there was anything left of her. Snape swept along behind me muttering how stupid today's children were, Malfoy had skipped nervously away so he wouldn't get caught at the scene of the crime. I ran and ran but while Snape turned off down another corridor – no doubt to find other teachers like Dumbledore – I crashed through the entrance hall's mighty doors and pelted almost tripping at each step because my body was going faster than my legs could keep up. My back and aching muscles from the flying lesson earlier were really killing me! Damn you Nova for making me do this!

Then I saw her, not dead, far from it for she was pulling herself out of the water and up the bank like the Swamp Thing, ringing out her dripping hair covered in weeds and I swear I saw tiny fish leap from her pockets to flop back into the lake. She looked up and waved, her face was the brightest and most ecstatic expression I'd ever seen on a person.

"Hiiii! What can I doo foor yooo?" She said in a really cheesy voice impersonating a joke Lee Evans made about American restaurants. It would have been very funny if the situation was not so serious.

"What the F*k were you thinking?????!!" I screamed wheezing for my breath. Nova twisted her head like an owl and wore a confused, innocent face.

"What?"

"You leapt out the frikking window you crazy suicidal cow!!" she grinned.

"m00f!"

"Shut up! This is serious! The teachers are coming here now to find your sodden carcass! What do you have to say about that?!" She put on a goofy face and strolled off in the direction of the forest.

"Let 'em look, it'll be fun! Come on Eleri let's get good seats!" I stared flabbergasted at her walking off as if nothing had happened. She pulled out her wand and muttered a spell that dried all of her clothing immediately, then drying her hair and pulling out a deodorant spray to make herself nice a fresh as the lake's weeds crumbled and fell off her like dust.

Bitch! She can be so stupid and inconsiderate of how others would react sometimes! She threw herself out the window for God's sake!

I followed loyally, true Hufflepuff that I am…oh damn my feeble mind.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

It was midnight when we walked back up to the castle grounds getting tired of watching the teachers poke about with sticks in the little boats that usually carried first years, and besides, we were hungry, the call for food from our stomachs eventually told us that we might as well go back up to bed. Leaving the teachers all night for all we cared.

In the entrance hall we sat down on the marble stairs and ate some pasties that I had in my pocket – what? I only kept them there for emergencies okay? I'm not a food freak…much.

"How long do you suppose it'll be before they give up and come crawling back to their beds?" I said through a mouthful of pasty. Nova shrugged her shoulders and gulped down more not saying a word, but I could tell she was finding the whole situation highly entertaining.

"We can't be here when they come back; we'll get in lots of trouble…we'll loose points for our house! I've already lost ten points for running into Snape when I saw you belly flop into the lake." Nova smirked and giggled.

"It was a good dive though wasn't it?"

"Dude, it was 'class'." We had a good laugh about it for a few minutes when the doors suddenly flew open. There were the teachers looking bedraggled and anxious, we quickly leapt up the moment they came in and hurried away hoping the darkness would hide us. Then we heard a hurried squelching, like sodden shoes full of water running to catch us up, then a voice called out.

"When I catch you Quillix I'm going to rip off your head!" Nova and I startled; it was Snape.

"Run! Save yourself!" I shouted as Nova sped on – she was always so much faster than me and had much better stamina.

"Aha!" Snape piped behind me – he was gaining on us! AARGH! "That Nuvios girl as well I hear!" He laughed.

"I think he means to kill us Nova!" I screamed as I tripped over due to my robes being too long. Nova stopped and came back to help me but it was too late; Snape had got us! *gasp!*

"Holy crap!" I shouted.

"Have you been swimming Professor Snape?" Nova had a slight hint of sarcasm in her voice, she was such a good actor under pressure.

"I'll give you the worst detention I have ever given to anybody!" He growled pulling Nova round and holding her by her right arm shouting in her face. She screwed up her nose – damn man, Snape's breath must have stank. He was dripping from head to toe, water running in beads down his head and his clothes hung heavy and sodden to his body, I only guessed that he must have fell in the lake. I sniggered so much that he could hear me, when he turned his cold, black eyes on me I slammed my mouth shut and looked like a fish. Nova endured the continued shouting he was giving her and slowly move her hand down to her side pocket.

"You've been up here swanning about while we all thought you were dead!"

"Good pun sir, swanning, lake."

"Silence!" I turned my eyes from him and twitched nervously from one foot to the other. "Nuvios! Stand still!" He couldn't see what she was doing though.

Oh no, Nova, seriously that's going too far.

"The entire staff have been out there for about five or six hours now and all this time you've been up here playing – "

"I can't stand it anymore!!!!!" Nova intercepted bringing up a breath freshener and spraying into his wide and screaming mouth. While he coughed and loosened his grip on her after being surprised so much Nova shouted.

"Run!" I did, I ran as fast as I could to my Hufflepuff common room. Nova was squeaking behind me as I was sure Snape had regained himself and got his grip on her again.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

"QUILLIX!" Snape screamed down my ear so loudly I thought my eardrum was going to burst.

"Sorry!" I said screamed back in order that he might hear me.

"You're expelled!" I looked at him wide eyed, trying innocence, would it work? "Don't look at me like that!" He shouted equally loudly into my face again – well at least his breath smelt better.

"You can't expel her Severus." Dumbledore said calmly ringing out his long silver beard. "She's disorientated." Thank heavens for Dumbledore! That saved my butt!

"Why not?!" Snape screamed at me shaking my shoulders like I were a rag doll, I allowed my head to loll from side to side making myself seem dazed. "I'll give her disorientated!" Never again will I jump off a building, very bad idea.... What was I thinking? Watch the staff look for me?! Idiot! Idiot! I scolded myself.

"Stop being so rough with her!" McGonagall snapped turning from a drenched cat, to a soggy old woman. I suddenly noticed that only three of the teachers were wet. Snape, Dumbledore and McGonagall, what had they been doing?

"Severus can you leave us please. I don't think that you're presence is helping." He glared at Dumbledore before dropping me to the floor and squelching round the corner.

"Now, could you please explain to me why you were in the lake this afternoon?" Dumbledore asked crouching in front of me. What was I supposed to say?

"I was pushed!" I sobbed, if innocence wasn't going to work then tears normally helped, no that was too kiddy, I soon stopped myself. I don't do crying, not me really.

"Who pushed you?"

"I… erm… no one!" I said quickly not wanting anyone else to take the rap for what I had done.

"Then you jumped," McGonagall said seriously.

"Well not exactly. I was pushed, pushed to it if you get what I mean. I walked off, Malfoy called me gutless and goofy and a Mudblood, I was annoyed so I stepped off the Astrology tower." I said wanting to get away from all the glaring tired eyes. "Peer Pressure!" I came up with.

"Could you come to my office please Miss Quillix?" Dumbledore said getting to his feet and walking along expecting me to follow him. I followed of course, he was the headmaster.. I'm not gonna run from him. All the other members of staff grumbled and went to their offices or wherever it was that they slept.

"Sir I'm really sorry." I said, this time I really did want forgiveness, there was something about him that told you that you didn't want to be on his bad side. His eyes seemed really sad and well… empty, it scared me.

"Sherbert Lemons." He said to the stone gargoyle out side what I could only assume was a moving staircase to him office.

"Hey I like Sherbert lemons." I said making him smile briefly forgetting to be angry with me before turning serious again. I followed him up the steps and he pointed to a seat in front of the desk.

"Miss Quillix, would you like to offer some explanation."

"No… There is none. I'm er… not smart and my actions today were not clever. Poor planning on my part, I swear I will never do that again." I meant what I said, there was no way I was gonna do a belly flop into the Hogwarts lake again, not even if the offered to pay me.

"Well I would like to think that you'll apologise to the rest of the staff, and to Professor Snape. He was so worried and well, he was pulled under the water for a whole five minutes by the squid after it had turned our boat over."

"Really?" I said calmly, I really wanted to laugh, but it just wasn't the time. Suddenly the door burst open and in walked Professor Snape - dry again, unfortunately. Something about being soaking wet and in skin tight clothes that suited his rather slender physic, I looked at him as he stood fuming before reaching for the tatty old hat in the glass cabinet.

"What are you doing Severus?" Dumbledore said bemused, Snape plonked the hat on my head again.

"I demand she be sorted again!" He said pressing it down firmly as I squirmed my arms flailing as I tried to escape..

'Hello again. What are you doing here?'

You're on my head, I've already been sorted once, what's going on. Snape must be off his rocker if he thinks you're going to change your mind.

'I don't know. Jumping into the lake Nova, not your best laid plan.'

"You already sorted me once!" Was the sound of my muffled voice from under the hat as I tried to tell Snape that.

'Well if they want to sort you again I guess it will have to be Slytherin.'

Why again?

'Because you're just like them, cunning and sarcastic. Besides you can't be sorted twice, it's more than my jobs worth!' "SLYTHERIN" The hat shouted. Snape yanked it off my head and stormed out of the office.

"Can I go now please Professor?" I asked Dumbledore who smiled briefly handed me a detention slip and showed me to the door again. I clambered down the steps and back to the common room where another first year girl was sitting asleep in a chair. She had brown hair, I couldn't see her eyes she was asleep... I know I shouldn't and I know it's cruel but...

"Hey!" She said sleepily, after I woke her up by poking her on the nose.

"What's you're name?" I asked calmly, really fuming inside screwing up the slip of paper in my hands. The she poked me on the nose in return. I screwed up my nose and plonked myself in the seat closest to the fire.

"Manda, but everyone seems to call me Minkey, I dunno why." She said rubbing her nose. "What's yours?"

"Nova, just Nova. Though Snape and Malfoy seem to have taken a liking to calling me Quillix, I already have a detention." I grumbled.

"Why?" She asked rubbing her eyes and beginning to get comfortable in her chair again.

"Don't ask." I said getting out of my seat and going to bed.

"Good night to you too." I heard her mutter behind me as I opened the door leading to the dormitories.

"Night." I muttered just to make sure I didn't often her. When I got into bed I drifted into an uneasy sleep. Woke in the middle of the night haunted by visions of flying monkeys, damn I knew this couldn't be good. I didn't want detention and Eleri, Snape knew it was Eleri who was with me. Oh dear...... Looks like I wasn't going to be alone.

Authors Note: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed... *bows to everyone* We hope everyone likes our little story. Highly stupid but generally there to make you larf! Minkey is Snape No Koibito, thanx for letting us plop you in, we'll make use of everyone who wants us to!

Remember you've been m00fed!.........

I.C. Pigs