Segue
A short BVS fanfic by Daniel C. Jensen
This fic is based upon events in the Buffyverse prior to the Anya/Xander wedding episode and does contain spoilers for season 6. Events at the wedding are hypothetical at this writing. These characters do not belong to me.
Spike entered the dining room in the church basement. The room was quiet, compared to the cacophony that reigned above. He noted that small casement windows were covered with decorations, conveniently keeping the sunlight from impeding his freedom. He wondered if the blood he had dropped by last night to put in the refrigerator had been left alone.
As Spike strode into the room, he winced at the garish decorations and coldly assessed the way his life or unlife as it were, had changed in the past four years. Despite their sudden breakup, he still loved the Slayer, and he had no real reason to go back to his more destructive ways. Well, not yet anyway.
And then there's this. Spike, the unholy wreaker of havoc for over a hundred years, feared throughout the world as an unrepentant demon, calmly attending the wedding of two members of a team that had faced off against him a dozen times. And won, he winced at the last, but grinned at the irony despite himself.
"Did the Slayer send you to make sure I wouldn't leave?" said a voice, breaking Spike out of his reverie. Halfrek, Anya's vengeance demon - make that justice demon - friend, emerged from the shadows. Her ugly green bridesmaid dress was an odd match to the sharp veininess in her face. Her brown hair cascaded around her like a well-done home perm and something tugged at Spike's memory. The hair wasn't right, but she was somehow...familiar. "I could go, you know," snipped Halfrek. "But I promised Anya I would straighten this all out. Ungrateful."
Spike smirked. "You really thought Anya would believe you had no hand in driving Xander off? You really don't know Anya any more. Those two are peas in a pod. " Spike stopped. Halfrek was staring at him intensely. "Hey, that reminds me...." Spike tugged at his collar a bit to loosen it, then pulled up a chair about ten feet away from Halfrek. "...Do I know you?"
Halfrek jumped. "No, I- No, You just look..." As her voice trailed off, he picked up the thread. "And you used my human name a couple weeks ago. I suppose that's coincidence, too." Spike wished he had a cigarette. Situations like this always called for a cigarette. He shrugged mentally and pressed on. "You sort of do look familiar."
Halfrek sat down on a chair, quietly. "You love the Slayer," she said. "I can tell. It's in your eyes."
Spike was confused by the change in subjects. "Okay, yeah, well, what of it? You going to get all vengeful on me or something? Because you can't do any more to me than I haven't been through before, too many times." His tone suddenly changed. "I love her more than I've ever loved anyone since becoming a vampire. Maybe more than I did when I was alive." He laughed bitterly. Half to himself, the mused, "And the damned thing about the heart, it still hurts to be rejected by the one you love, even if it isn't beating." Breaking out of his reverie, he wished again for a smoke. "Why, does it matter?"
"Oh, no, it's just that she must still trust you to send you down here, alone, to guard me," she replied. "And you know I could leave if I really wanted to...but then I saw your eyes."
"Yeah? Well, that and this mess you got us in doesn't get me back in her arms, now does it?" Spike countered, standing up. "Besides, you evaded my question."
"You said you were hurt. A-a-as a human?"
"Yes..." Spike smiled in Spike of himself. "Ironically, it was the rejection of a woman that made me what I am today, you might say." He grabbed a likely-looking dessert bar from a nearby table and nibbled on it. "Crunchy! Now where was I? Oh yeah, you were telling me how you came to know my name."
Halfrek was quiet for a while. When she spoke, her voice had none of the pompous bravado she had affected over the most recent years. "I have a system, it works well. Every once in a while I find a hotbed of injustice and I adopt a persona, long term. Sometimes for years, I just work a city or area, always in my persona until I find a likely child or woman who needs my help. Europe in the 1800's was particularly bad. I stayed longer and longer each time. The industrial revolution was hard on children until it got past the need for child labor."
Spike finished his crunchy bar and started thinking about the blood in the kitchen. He was getting uncomfortable; this story was leading him back near his old stomping grounds. Something nagged at his brain. Her speech was strangely familiar, now that he heard more of it. Halfrek spoke again.
"One day, I started noticing a suitor among those who congregated around my human persona. He was sweet and I knew I had to stop it. I had work to do; I couldn't be bothered by a relationship while I worked. Too many questions."
Spike's brain clicked. Suddenly overwhelmed, he couldn't speak; for once in his unlife, William the Bloody was speechless. After a minute, he found his voice. "Cecily," Spike said, finally. " Your cover was Cecily."
"Yes, William." Halfrek closed her eyes. Her face changed to that of her human persona, the dark curls of her brown hair now caressed a radiant and lovely face. "I was Cecily."
Spike sat down heavily on the chair. His brain was a whirl of emotion. "I can't believe it. I loved you! I wrote poetry and..."
Halfrek shook her head. "There's more."
"More?"
"You shouldn't care."
"What? What kind of remark is that? Of course, I care. My hurt is what made me the Vampire I am." He paused. "Or was. Until this sodding chip got shoved in my skull."
"And love."
"And love," he agreed. "Falling in love with the Slayer, no less."
"You still have a lot of William in you, Spike," explained Halfrek. "More human personality than I have ever seen in a vampire."
"What of it?"
"Most vampires, they take the personality template and alter it, the demon part of the vampire distorts it and after a while, all that remains is a parody of the original human. You are breaking the archetype, Spike. You are in control, you feel like the same William; only without some of the moral constraints of a human."
"So, what, you're saying I have a soul? I've been checked. No fox in my henhouse. I'm no Angelus."
Halfrek smiled. "Mmm. Angel. I heard he had been in the area. Was he your sire?"
Spike blinked. And shrugged. "No, I was sired by Drusilla. But he is in my line, he sired Dru. I considered him my sire as well. For years. Until he got his soul and went all weepy on me. Should have staked him. He wasn't much good after that."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that. With the right spell, he could forget his pain for a few hours...and," Halfrek stopped when she saw Spike's look of disgust. "Well, being a justice demon isn't without perks."
Spike stood up. "Well, sorry to interrupt old home week, but I'm supposed to be keeping you here and I can't help but wonder what's taking them so long. "
" William...."
"Look, Halfrek, I'm not William anymore. I'm Spike. You know what I did, how I got the name. "
"I know what you did, I even used you for an excuse to copy your trademark killings. I..." she stopped. "I assumed you had gotten killed then as well. I stopped being Cecily that day. You had gotten too close, and the killing right after, of everyone you knew...I assumed you were one of the dead."
"Yeah, well, if I got this chip out of my head, maybe I'd show everyone upstairs why I was considered the Big Bad everywhere I went." Spike puffed himself up, adopted his "big bad" demeanor and stood defiant.
"Is that right? Would you? In front of the Slayer?" Halfrek said quietly. "In front of the woman you love?"
At the mention of Buffy, Spike looked like he was sucker punched. He winced, closed his eyes and took a step backwards. After a minute, he opened them. "No, I supposed I wouldn't. It's strange. I've been trying to help her and the scoobies because it's what she wants. More and more it's starting to become what I want, " he complained, sitting down. " It's like I've lost my edge, you know? It took me some effort just to put my game face on when I thought my chip was broken a few months ago." He winced at the thought. "Thing is, I don't even know if I could have finished the job..."
Halfrek let him ramble. Several times in the next five minutes she could see the rage and anger that was part Demon and part frustrated William.
"I tell you what, though. Maybe it's this damn chip. Maybe I love her because they put this chip in my brain," he stood up, trying to work himself into the old anger, the release that would come from a good vamping out. It wouldn't come. "Gaah! I'm fooling myself. Never happen. When I get this chip out, I'll probably do something bloody stupid and end up getting staked anyway. Might as well just dust me now."
"If you had the chip out, would she stake you?"
"Probably, maybe. That's the thing, innit? I can bite her, but..." His voice trailing off.
"But what?" Halfrek urged.
"It gets kind of old. The random killing thing I mean, it was fun for a while, reveling in the death, letting myself get into the kill, the grand plans. It's like this craving for human blood...." He shook it off. "But lately I'd trade it all in for this chipped existence to be gone. What good is being a vampire if you can't kill humans?"
Spike stood there for a moment, lost in thought. As he surveyed the room for more textured snacks, the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs broke into the silence. As the figure reached the bottom of the stairs, it was evident it was one of the bridesmaids in the garish green dress. It was Willow.
"Spike! We found Xander. You can send Halfrek up now. " She hitched up her dress and started back up the stairs. Spike turned to Halfrek.
"You ready to fix things up there?"
Halfrek smiled. "Yes, William. I think I'm ready to fix things," She got up and passed by Spike. He stood there with his hands in his pockets, suit jacket open to accommodate their placement.
Halfrek paused and kissed Spike's cheek. He looked back at her with inquisitive eyes, brow furrowed. "What?" he asked.
She gazed into his eyes and said softly, "I'm sorry, William."
Spike closed his eyes as Halfrek headed for the stairs. He stood there, his face a blank. If he could have gone paler, he would have.
As Halfrek climbed the stairs to the sanctuary, she clasped her pendant in her hand. Nothing she could do could make up for William's century and more of killing, What's done is done. Spike had had a little more control over his needs then than the average Vampire, but not much. Perhaps the chip had changed the odds. Perhaps...
Maybe there was something she could do to make up for her initial rejection in some small measure. William loved the Slayer, but would the Slayer want William. Did that matter?
Halfrek pondered the restoration of William's soul. No, no telling what would happen. His body's original soul was at peace. It would be cruel to subject it to the torment. The souled William might be repulsed by what Spike had done, not unlike the famous gypsy curse on Angelus. Now that was vengeance.
Not long ago she was told of another resouled vampire; one brought back in Los Angeles. That one had been restored in its original body. The Vampire's personality had been placed in the original body, but that body was flawed, a syphilitic wreck. The woman had been vamped again and ultimately met her fate by her own hand. No, that would not do.
Damn the no free lunch clause. But maybe there was one way....
Than Halfrek thought of Anyanka. "Oh, dear, I really botched this one up," she muttered. Anyanka made it clear earlier that she would not stand for what Halfrek did to the one she loved. Her boss D'Hoffryn had sided with his former favorite and suggested that Halfrek needed a vacation. I guess the boss is right, Halfrek mused. I need a vacation. But first...
Halfrek put on her demon face as she reached the top of the stairs. This, she thought, opening the door to the sanctuary, should get interesting...
Halfrek sat alone. The wedding party was happy now, and the wedding back on . Everyone was milling around while efforts were being made to get things back on track for the ceremony. Now for part two, thought Halfrek.
As she began to close her eyes, to concentrate on the complicated spell she was about to invoke, her boss D'Hoffryn had broken away from the wedding party and suddenly stood in front of her.
"Do you really expect to do this? There can be no reversal."
"I am sure."
D'Hoffryn smiled. "Then you have proven yourself worthy of the next level of our order, " he said. "Frankly, I had almost given up hope that you would discover that compassion was a part of justice. Without it, there is only cold vengeance. "
"I-I don't know what to say, " Halfrek was stunned.
"You don't have to say anything right now," D'Hoffryn smiled again. "But you do need help with the power necessary to rectify your past mistakes."
D'Hoffryn clasped her hand in his. A faint glow emanated from the necklace each wore, then faded.
Suddenly a cry rang out over to the side of the sanctuary by the door to the basement.
"Somebody get a doctor!"
"I'm a doctor, " said a man in the crowd and hurried over through the throng.
Buffy entered the santuary from the opposite side of the commotion. The main wedding party was making sure everything was in order. She noticed the gathering crowd, and heard the commotion.
She started pushing her way through the throng of humans and assorted demons. "What's going on?" she asked.
"Some guy fainted, I think," said a woman.
Good, thought Buffy, no more fighting for today, this wedding might actually happen. She still casually made her way to see who it was. She could make out a figure of a man in black suit being laying on the floor and tended by another man, probably the doctor. The doctor obscured the ill man's identity and a black suit at the wedding gave no clue. The doctor was talking to the man.
"Simple tachycardia, then, from what you tell meYour heart seems to be beating fine now," said the doctor. "I suggest you see your doctor or the emergency room after the ceremony. It could have been a simple panic attack."
The crowd was starting to talk now, and Buffy could not hear the response of the man. Sounds like one more guest would be fine. Buffy pulled back, no Slayer needed here. Not like that brawl earlier. That had been enough.
As she walked away, a murmur came over a few people in the crowd when the ill man stood up and was revealed.
"Buffy!"
Buffy closed her eyes at the sound of Spike's voice. She hadn't noticed Spike in the crowd; he must have just come up from the basement as she turned. Buffy opened her eyes as she turned around.
"What is it, Spi.." the words caught in her throat.
The crowd had parted. Getting up from the floor was Spike.
He looked disheveled. His collar was pulled away and his shirt underneath his suit was pulled open, buttons snapped off by the doctor. His face and visible body was flushed from the pain he had obviously endured. His hair was a mop of sandy brown. His neck was pulsing, his breathing was real. He looked...human?
Spike turned to the doctor. "Thanks Doc, but I think this was a one time thing," he took a deep breath. "See? Fit as a fiddle." Spike looked at his hands, pink and flushed.
Buffy stood there, totally thrown. "How, what? How?"
The crowd stood back, the ones who knew Buffy keeping the others back. Spike and Buffy stood away from everyone else. A few feet apart, Buffy was the first to speak again.
"So, what are you now? Human? Are you suddenly human now? Are you still Spike? What is this?"
"He's both," said a voice. "And neither." It was D'Hoffryn. "We could not restore that which is gone after so many years. But we cannot make Spike totally human, either. His service to the cause of good has become part of who he is, or was, as it were. The balance had to be struck."
D'Hoffryn strode closer to both of them. "Halfrek herself came up with a compromise which pleased the Powers That Be."
"What have you done to me?" asked Spike, fingering his neck pulse, puzzled. "I still feel strong. Powerful. I don't feel human."
Halfrek interrupted. "We have allowed you to keep some aspects of the demon. Strength, healing, but you also now have a soul. Not the soul of your original host, but one nonetheless. We have integrated your personality with this soul."
Spike was angry. "So. You gave me a soul. I get to become angsty boy like Angel? Not Bloody likely. "
"No. You will not suffer the torment cursed upon Angelus," interjected D'Hoffryn. "This is not vengeance. This is not a curse. Now that you are human, or mostly so, we do not expect you to pay penance for what you could not control when you were a Vampire. "
"Oh, but...."
D'Hoffryn cut him off and continued. "You have a soul now, you will have to struggle with your own inner nature. The nature that is within you came strongly from your humanity. You alone must choose how to use this inner compass. You alone must choose to be good or evil, as all humans must deal with daily. Perhaps dispensing with your bloodlust will make a difference."
"My choice? Nothing is restraining me? No 'you must do good or you will lose this" clause?"
"You will find that being human offers its own system of benefits and penalties." D'Hoffryn then turned to Buffy. "We know of your past relationship with this one. Every decision has its consequences. We apologize for the inconvenience."
Buffy, overwhelmed by the turn of events, suddenly felt all eyes in the room on her and Spike. Grabbing Spike, they headed toward the foyer leading outside.
At the large doors to the church, Buffy stepped out into the sunlight. Spike hung back, unsure of his newfound "almost human" status. Standing away from the sunlight streaming in the open door, he tentatively reached his bare hand into the full sunlight. His hand jerked reflexively at the strength of the sun, but the warmth felt good. And best of all: no smoke.
Spike pulled his hand back and took a deep breath, standing at the edge of the light streaming in. He closed his eyes and stepped through the doorway and into the sunlight. Warmth bathed his body and the sunlight stung his eyes. Squinting hard, he raised his hand to block out the sun, sneaking a quick glance. "Well," he said, addressing the sun. "Hello sun. Been a couple of years."
Buffy, her face at first unreadable, then cracked a small smile and held out her hand. She led Spike to a bench under the canopy of the nearby trees. Both sat down, but said nothing for a few minutes.
"Look Spike, or should I call you William, now?" began Buffy, breaking the silence. "I don't know where this leaves ...us...it-it changes things, but...I"
Spike interrupted. "I know. It's going to take time to come to grips with this myself. I don't expect things between us to change over night." He stopped, frustrated, but pressed on. "Just because I'm human or mostly human, doesn't change the fact that you need to do what you need to do." Spike exhaled and pressed on. "Not sure how this is going to work myself. Like coming out here. It'll take some getting used to. That's for damn sure."
"God!" exclaimed Buffy, standing quickly, "It was easier when you were a vampire."
Spike stood and caught her arm, gently. "Look luv," he began, quietly. "And I do still love you Buffy. I understand. If the time comes, and you have your balance back, all I ask is that you give me another chance. I don't know if you can overlook everything I've done. To you, to everyone."
Stopping, Spike looked at her, his face an image of gentleness Buffy had only seen a couple of times before. "I do know it's not the same any more When you are ready. We'll take it from there."
"Meanwhile, we have a wedding to attend, don't we? Boy will I have a surprise for old Clem." He laughed. It was a very human laugh. He still liked laughing, he decided.
Buffy smiled. Spike felt his heart speed. There I go again, he thought to himself. This isn't going to be easy. But then I always did like challenges.
"Okay, " said Buffy. " Thank you...William. I really do need to work on this. I need to get my life back in order." She turned and looked straight into his sparkling blue eyes. "Actually, this does change one thing...."
Buffy stepped closer and kissed him. Their lips touched in a sweet, simple kiss. Buffy broke the kiss, and turned towards the church, "Play your cards right, I might be able to love the new you." She started back towards the church, bathed in sunlight. Turning back one more time, she asked "Coming, William?"
Smiling, Spike stepped out of the shadows and into the light.
The end.
A short BVS fanfic by Daniel C. Jensen
This fic is based upon events in the Buffyverse prior to the Anya/Xander wedding episode and does contain spoilers for season 6. Events at the wedding are hypothetical at this writing. These characters do not belong to me.
Spike entered the dining room in the church basement. The room was quiet, compared to the cacophony that reigned above. He noted that small casement windows were covered with decorations, conveniently keeping the sunlight from impeding his freedom. He wondered if the blood he had dropped by last night to put in the refrigerator had been left alone.
As Spike strode into the room, he winced at the garish decorations and coldly assessed the way his life or unlife as it were, had changed in the past four years. Despite their sudden breakup, he still loved the Slayer, and he had no real reason to go back to his more destructive ways. Well, not yet anyway.
And then there's this. Spike, the unholy wreaker of havoc for over a hundred years, feared throughout the world as an unrepentant demon, calmly attending the wedding of two members of a team that had faced off against him a dozen times. And won, he winced at the last, but grinned at the irony despite himself.
"Did the Slayer send you to make sure I wouldn't leave?" said a voice, breaking Spike out of his reverie. Halfrek, Anya's vengeance demon - make that justice demon - friend, emerged from the shadows. Her ugly green bridesmaid dress was an odd match to the sharp veininess in her face. Her brown hair cascaded around her like a well-done home perm and something tugged at Spike's memory. The hair wasn't right, but she was somehow...familiar. "I could go, you know," snipped Halfrek. "But I promised Anya I would straighten this all out. Ungrateful."
Spike smirked. "You really thought Anya would believe you had no hand in driving Xander off? You really don't know Anya any more. Those two are peas in a pod. " Spike stopped. Halfrek was staring at him intensely. "Hey, that reminds me...." Spike tugged at his collar a bit to loosen it, then pulled up a chair about ten feet away from Halfrek. "...Do I know you?"
Halfrek jumped. "No, I- No, You just look..." As her voice trailed off, he picked up the thread. "And you used my human name a couple weeks ago. I suppose that's coincidence, too." Spike wished he had a cigarette. Situations like this always called for a cigarette. He shrugged mentally and pressed on. "You sort of do look familiar."
Halfrek sat down on a chair, quietly. "You love the Slayer," she said. "I can tell. It's in your eyes."
Spike was confused by the change in subjects. "Okay, yeah, well, what of it? You going to get all vengeful on me or something? Because you can't do any more to me than I haven't been through before, too many times." His tone suddenly changed. "I love her more than I've ever loved anyone since becoming a vampire. Maybe more than I did when I was alive." He laughed bitterly. Half to himself, the mused, "And the damned thing about the heart, it still hurts to be rejected by the one you love, even if it isn't beating." Breaking out of his reverie, he wished again for a smoke. "Why, does it matter?"
"Oh, no, it's just that she must still trust you to send you down here, alone, to guard me," she replied. "And you know I could leave if I really wanted to...but then I saw your eyes."
"Yeah? Well, that and this mess you got us in doesn't get me back in her arms, now does it?" Spike countered, standing up. "Besides, you evaded my question."
"You said you were hurt. A-a-as a human?"
"Yes..." Spike smiled in Spike of himself. "Ironically, it was the rejection of a woman that made me what I am today, you might say." He grabbed a likely-looking dessert bar from a nearby table and nibbled on it. "Crunchy! Now where was I? Oh yeah, you were telling me how you came to know my name."
Halfrek was quiet for a while. When she spoke, her voice had none of the pompous bravado she had affected over the most recent years. "I have a system, it works well. Every once in a while I find a hotbed of injustice and I adopt a persona, long term. Sometimes for years, I just work a city or area, always in my persona until I find a likely child or woman who needs my help. Europe in the 1800's was particularly bad. I stayed longer and longer each time. The industrial revolution was hard on children until it got past the need for child labor."
Spike finished his crunchy bar and started thinking about the blood in the kitchen. He was getting uncomfortable; this story was leading him back near his old stomping grounds. Something nagged at his brain. Her speech was strangely familiar, now that he heard more of it. Halfrek spoke again.
"One day, I started noticing a suitor among those who congregated around my human persona. He was sweet and I knew I had to stop it. I had work to do; I couldn't be bothered by a relationship while I worked. Too many questions."
Spike's brain clicked. Suddenly overwhelmed, he couldn't speak; for once in his unlife, William the Bloody was speechless. After a minute, he found his voice. "Cecily," Spike said, finally. " Your cover was Cecily."
"Yes, William." Halfrek closed her eyes. Her face changed to that of her human persona, the dark curls of her brown hair now caressed a radiant and lovely face. "I was Cecily."
Spike sat down heavily on the chair. His brain was a whirl of emotion. "I can't believe it. I loved you! I wrote poetry and..."
Halfrek shook her head. "There's more."
"More?"
"You shouldn't care."
"What? What kind of remark is that? Of course, I care. My hurt is what made me the Vampire I am." He paused. "Or was. Until this sodding chip got shoved in my skull."
"And love."
"And love," he agreed. "Falling in love with the Slayer, no less."
"You still have a lot of William in you, Spike," explained Halfrek. "More human personality than I have ever seen in a vampire."
"What of it?"
"Most vampires, they take the personality template and alter it, the demon part of the vampire distorts it and after a while, all that remains is a parody of the original human. You are breaking the archetype, Spike. You are in control, you feel like the same William; only without some of the moral constraints of a human."
"So, what, you're saying I have a soul? I've been checked. No fox in my henhouse. I'm no Angelus."
Halfrek smiled. "Mmm. Angel. I heard he had been in the area. Was he your sire?"
Spike blinked. And shrugged. "No, I was sired by Drusilla. But he is in my line, he sired Dru. I considered him my sire as well. For years. Until he got his soul and went all weepy on me. Should have staked him. He wasn't much good after that."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that. With the right spell, he could forget his pain for a few hours...and," Halfrek stopped when she saw Spike's look of disgust. "Well, being a justice demon isn't without perks."
Spike stood up. "Well, sorry to interrupt old home week, but I'm supposed to be keeping you here and I can't help but wonder what's taking them so long. "
" William...."
"Look, Halfrek, I'm not William anymore. I'm Spike. You know what I did, how I got the name. "
"I know what you did, I even used you for an excuse to copy your trademark killings. I..." she stopped. "I assumed you had gotten killed then as well. I stopped being Cecily that day. You had gotten too close, and the killing right after, of everyone you knew...I assumed you were one of the dead."
"Yeah, well, if I got this chip out of my head, maybe I'd show everyone upstairs why I was considered the Big Bad everywhere I went." Spike puffed himself up, adopted his "big bad" demeanor and stood defiant.
"Is that right? Would you? In front of the Slayer?" Halfrek said quietly. "In front of the woman you love?"
At the mention of Buffy, Spike looked like he was sucker punched. He winced, closed his eyes and took a step backwards. After a minute, he opened them. "No, I supposed I wouldn't. It's strange. I've been trying to help her and the scoobies because it's what she wants. More and more it's starting to become what I want, " he complained, sitting down. " It's like I've lost my edge, you know? It took me some effort just to put my game face on when I thought my chip was broken a few months ago." He winced at the thought. "Thing is, I don't even know if I could have finished the job..."
Halfrek let him ramble. Several times in the next five minutes she could see the rage and anger that was part Demon and part frustrated William.
"I tell you what, though. Maybe it's this damn chip. Maybe I love her because they put this chip in my brain," he stood up, trying to work himself into the old anger, the release that would come from a good vamping out. It wouldn't come. "Gaah! I'm fooling myself. Never happen. When I get this chip out, I'll probably do something bloody stupid and end up getting staked anyway. Might as well just dust me now."
"If you had the chip out, would she stake you?"
"Probably, maybe. That's the thing, innit? I can bite her, but..." His voice trailing off.
"But what?" Halfrek urged.
"It gets kind of old. The random killing thing I mean, it was fun for a while, reveling in the death, letting myself get into the kill, the grand plans. It's like this craving for human blood...." He shook it off. "But lately I'd trade it all in for this chipped existence to be gone. What good is being a vampire if you can't kill humans?"
Spike stood there for a moment, lost in thought. As he surveyed the room for more textured snacks, the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs broke into the silence. As the figure reached the bottom of the stairs, it was evident it was one of the bridesmaids in the garish green dress. It was Willow.
"Spike! We found Xander. You can send Halfrek up now. " She hitched up her dress and started back up the stairs. Spike turned to Halfrek.
"You ready to fix things up there?"
Halfrek smiled. "Yes, William. I think I'm ready to fix things," She got up and passed by Spike. He stood there with his hands in his pockets, suit jacket open to accommodate their placement.
Halfrek paused and kissed Spike's cheek. He looked back at her with inquisitive eyes, brow furrowed. "What?" he asked.
She gazed into his eyes and said softly, "I'm sorry, William."
Spike closed his eyes as Halfrek headed for the stairs. He stood there, his face a blank. If he could have gone paler, he would have.
As Halfrek climbed the stairs to the sanctuary, she clasped her pendant in her hand. Nothing she could do could make up for William's century and more of killing, What's done is done. Spike had had a little more control over his needs then than the average Vampire, but not much. Perhaps the chip had changed the odds. Perhaps...
Maybe there was something she could do to make up for her initial rejection in some small measure. William loved the Slayer, but would the Slayer want William. Did that matter?
Halfrek pondered the restoration of William's soul. No, no telling what would happen. His body's original soul was at peace. It would be cruel to subject it to the torment. The souled William might be repulsed by what Spike had done, not unlike the famous gypsy curse on Angelus. Now that was vengeance.
Not long ago she was told of another resouled vampire; one brought back in Los Angeles. That one had been restored in its original body. The Vampire's personality had been placed in the original body, but that body was flawed, a syphilitic wreck. The woman had been vamped again and ultimately met her fate by her own hand. No, that would not do.
Damn the no free lunch clause. But maybe there was one way....
Than Halfrek thought of Anyanka. "Oh, dear, I really botched this one up," she muttered. Anyanka made it clear earlier that she would not stand for what Halfrek did to the one she loved. Her boss D'Hoffryn had sided with his former favorite and suggested that Halfrek needed a vacation. I guess the boss is right, Halfrek mused. I need a vacation. But first...
Halfrek put on her demon face as she reached the top of the stairs. This, she thought, opening the door to the sanctuary, should get interesting...
Halfrek sat alone. The wedding party was happy now, and the wedding back on . Everyone was milling around while efforts were being made to get things back on track for the ceremony. Now for part two, thought Halfrek.
As she began to close her eyes, to concentrate on the complicated spell she was about to invoke, her boss D'Hoffryn had broken away from the wedding party and suddenly stood in front of her.
"Do you really expect to do this? There can be no reversal."
"I am sure."
D'Hoffryn smiled. "Then you have proven yourself worthy of the next level of our order, " he said. "Frankly, I had almost given up hope that you would discover that compassion was a part of justice. Without it, there is only cold vengeance. "
"I-I don't know what to say, " Halfrek was stunned.
"You don't have to say anything right now," D'Hoffryn smiled again. "But you do need help with the power necessary to rectify your past mistakes."
D'Hoffryn clasped her hand in his. A faint glow emanated from the necklace each wore, then faded.
Suddenly a cry rang out over to the side of the sanctuary by the door to the basement.
"Somebody get a doctor!"
"I'm a doctor, " said a man in the crowd and hurried over through the throng.
Buffy entered the santuary from the opposite side of the commotion. The main wedding party was making sure everything was in order. She noticed the gathering crowd, and heard the commotion.
She started pushing her way through the throng of humans and assorted demons. "What's going on?" she asked.
"Some guy fainted, I think," said a woman.
Good, thought Buffy, no more fighting for today, this wedding might actually happen. She still casually made her way to see who it was. She could make out a figure of a man in black suit being laying on the floor and tended by another man, probably the doctor. The doctor obscured the ill man's identity and a black suit at the wedding gave no clue. The doctor was talking to the man.
"Simple tachycardia, then, from what you tell meYour heart seems to be beating fine now," said the doctor. "I suggest you see your doctor or the emergency room after the ceremony. It could have been a simple panic attack."
The crowd was starting to talk now, and Buffy could not hear the response of the man. Sounds like one more guest would be fine. Buffy pulled back, no Slayer needed here. Not like that brawl earlier. That had been enough.
As she walked away, a murmur came over a few people in the crowd when the ill man stood up and was revealed.
"Buffy!"
Buffy closed her eyes at the sound of Spike's voice. She hadn't noticed Spike in the crowd; he must have just come up from the basement as she turned. Buffy opened her eyes as she turned around.
"What is it, Spi.." the words caught in her throat.
The crowd had parted. Getting up from the floor was Spike.
He looked disheveled. His collar was pulled away and his shirt underneath his suit was pulled open, buttons snapped off by the doctor. His face and visible body was flushed from the pain he had obviously endured. His hair was a mop of sandy brown. His neck was pulsing, his breathing was real. He looked...human?
Spike turned to the doctor. "Thanks Doc, but I think this was a one time thing," he took a deep breath. "See? Fit as a fiddle." Spike looked at his hands, pink and flushed.
Buffy stood there, totally thrown. "How, what? How?"
The crowd stood back, the ones who knew Buffy keeping the others back. Spike and Buffy stood away from everyone else. A few feet apart, Buffy was the first to speak again.
"So, what are you now? Human? Are you suddenly human now? Are you still Spike? What is this?"
"He's both," said a voice. "And neither." It was D'Hoffryn. "We could not restore that which is gone after so many years. But we cannot make Spike totally human, either. His service to the cause of good has become part of who he is, or was, as it were. The balance had to be struck."
D'Hoffryn strode closer to both of them. "Halfrek herself came up with a compromise which pleased the Powers That Be."
"What have you done to me?" asked Spike, fingering his neck pulse, puzzled. "I still feel strong. Powerful. I don't feel human."
Halfrek interrupted. "We have allowed you to keep some aspects of the demon. Strength, healing, but you also now have a soul. Not the soul of your original host, but one nonetheless. We have integrated your personality with this soul."
Spike was angry. "So. You gave me a soul. I get to become angsty boy like Angel? Not Bloody likely. "
"No. You will not suffer the torment cursed upon Angelus," interjected D'Hoffryn. "This is not vengeance. This is not a curse. Now that you are human, or mostly so, we do not expect you to pay penance for what you could not control when you were a Vampire. "
"Oh, but...."
D'Hoffryn cut him off and continued. "You have a soul now, you will have to struggle with your own inner nature. The nature that is within you came strongly from your humanity. You alone must choose how to use this inner compass. You alone must choose to be good or evil, as all humans must deal with daily. Perhaps dispensing with your bloodlust will make a difference."
"My choice? Nothing is restraining me? No 'you must do good or you will lose this" clause?"
"You will find that being human offers its own system of benefits and penalties." D'Hoffryn then turned to Buffy. "We know of your past relationship with this one. Every decision has its consequences. We apologize for the inconvenience."
Buffy, overwhelmed by the turn of events, suddenly felt all eyes in the room on her and Spike. Grabbing Spike, they headed toward the foyer leading outside.
At the large doors to the church, Buffy stepped out into the sunlight. Spike hung back, unsure of his newfound "almost human" status. Standing away from the sunlight streaming in the open door, he tentatively reached his bare hand into the full sunlight. His hand jerked reflexively at the strength of the sun, but the warmth felt good. And best of all: no smoke.
Spike pulled his hand back and took a deep breath, standing at the edge of the light streaming in. He closed his eyes and stepped through the doorway and into the sunlight. Warmth bathed his body and the sunlight stung his eyes. Squinting hard, he raised his hand to block out the sun, sneaking a quick glance. "Well," he said, addressing the sun. "Hello sun. Been a couple of years."
Buffy, her face at first unreadable, then cracked a small smile and held out her hand. She led Spike to a bench under the canopy of the nearby trees. Both sat down, but said nothing for a few minutes.
"Look Spike, or should I call you William, now?" began Buffy, breaking the silence. "I don't know where this leaves ...us...it-it changes things, but...I"
Spike interrupted. "I know. It's going to take time to come to grips with this myself. I don't expect things between us to change over night." He stopped, frustrated, but pressed on. "Just because I'm human or mostly human, doesn't change the fact that you need to do what you need to do." Spike exhaled and pressed on. "Not sure how this is going to work myself. Like coming out here. It'll take some getting used to. That's for damn sure."
"God!" exclaimed Buffy, standing quickly, "It was easier when you were a vampire."
Spike stood and caught her arm, gently. "Look luv," he began, quietly. "And I do still love you Buffy. I understand. If the time comes, and you have your balance back, all I ask is that you give me another chance. I don't know if you can overlook everything I've done. To you, to everyone."
Stopping, Spike looked at her, his face an image of gentleness Buffy had only seen a couple of times before. "I do know it's not the same any more When you are ready. We'll take it from there."
"Meanwhile, we have a wedding to attend, don't we? Boy will I have a surprise for old Clem." He laughed. It was a very human laugh. He still liked laughing, he decided.
Buffy smiled. Spike felt his heart speed. There I go again, he thought to himself. This isn't going to be easy. But then I always did like challenges.
"Okay, " said Buffy. " Thank you...William. I really do need to work on this. I need to get my life back in order." She turned and looked straight into his sparkling blue eyes. "Actually, this does change one thing...."
Buffy stepped closer and kissed him. Their lips touched in a sweet, simple kiss. Buffy broke the kiss, and turned towards the church, "Play your cards right, I might be able to love the new you." She started back towards the church, bathed in sunlight. Turning back one more time, she asked "Coming, William?"
Smiling, Spike stepped out of the shadows and into the light.
The end.