~~~5~~~
"Welcome to what I hope will be an hour filled with ways to bring your family units closer together. My name is Tyler..." Angel looked over to where Cordelia sat next to him on the floor holding Conner, listening intently as Tyler went on and on about every degree he owned.
They were at their second class of the morning, and the only good part was that Cordelia wasn't parading around in that skimpy little bikini for everyone in God's creation to see. In fact the moment she closed the bathroom door to shower he had found the suit and tore it in one easy yank. It wasn't until Cordelia was out of the bathroom searching for the garment that he felt bad about taking the upper hand...again. What really did him in was her small smile when she shrugged her shoulders telling him it was his loss.
"In today's class we're going to be discussing on how to strengthen the family bond." Tyler smiled at the room. "I hope to make it as painless as possible."
Everyone laughed. Angel looked at the other three couples. He was relieved to find the class to be smaller than the last one, but when Kara and her husband walked into the room, Angel started looking for the quickest way out.
"As I'm sure you all know ever since your little bundles of joy came into this world, everything has changed. Roles in your partnership shifted, responsibilities multiplied, your priorities changed. Face it your not the same people that you were when you got married. But that's okay, with good communication skills this transition can be a smooth one." Angel could feel Cordelia tense next to him, heard the way her heartbeat skipped a beat. Not knowing what had her acting so peculiar, Angel reached over and took her hand in his, hoping to give her some sort of silent reassurance.
"Now with all these new developments in your lives it's important to learn proper communication skills now, so you don't let things build and fester. Whether its feeling that you're the only one getting up in the middle of the night to take care of the feedings, to feeling the stress of being the only one meeting the families increasing financial needs. These things need to be voiced, but in a productive manner."
Most of the class nodded to this. Angel couldn't really relate. Not with the strong family that surrounded him on a daily basis. Everyone pitched in, even when they weren't required to. Not that he'd ever say the gang had the best communication skills, but still they were all able to speak their minds about certain worries, whether it be financial or something else all together. Perhaps it was the fact that he was actually a single parent that didn't make him feel as though he was pulling most of the weight, it was to be expected.
What ate him away was the desire to make Cordelia more of a permanent fixture in his and Conner's lives, it made him feel guilty at times when he thought how much she was giving up. Was he being selfish? He couldn't help what he was feeling for his seer, anymore than he could stop the sun from setting every night. But it also scared the hell out of him that one day she would wake up and realize what exactly she was giving up by staying by his side. What would life be like without Cordelia Chase? The young woman he once thought to be the most self-centered and needy being on this planet, now was the one thing he truly didn't think he could live without. Life was funny like that.
"When communicating with one another you each need to learn not to use statements like; You always...or you never. These never help. You can say things such as; I feel that...or It makes me feel. This way you aren't placing the blame on the other partner, making their defenses rise. So I want each of you to turn to your partner, and tell one another one thing that really makes them proud about the other."
Each couple shifted so to sit across from one another. Cordelia could feel her hands shake. She could do this, there was alot about Angel that made her proud. Everyday something new would make her stop and think how wonderful it was to have Angel in her life.
As soon as each couple was facing one another, the instructor continued. "I want each of the women to start with: 'You make me so proud to be your wife because...' and the gentlemen to reply with; 'You make me proud to be your husband because... Everyone ready?"
Cordelia felt her mouth go dry as she tried to swallow in vain. How was she supposed to say those words to Angel? Were the PTB laughing at this new situation she had landed herself in? Hoping that Angel didn't notice that her palms were sweating, Cordelia took a deep breath. "You make me proud to be your w-wife because..." Angel held his breath, so far these were the sweetest words his ears had ever heard.
Proud. What made her proud of the man sitting in front of her? How long did she have? Single-spaced, with or without footnotes. So much about Angel made her proud. There was alot that made her mad as hell too, but it didn't even compare. It had to be the way he was able to make her feel so protected just by being there. His ability to make her feel special by a simple touch or look. The wonderful father he turned out to be. It was a true pleasure to be able to just watch the way he interacted with Conner.
"...That you've stayed on your path."
Angel felt his stomach fall, he was so sure that she was going to say something else, perhaps a little more personal. Now he was going to have to change what he was going to say. "You make me proud to be your husband because...of how caring you are."
Not what he was planning to say, but he couldn't really say the things in his heart after her reply.
"Wonderful." Tyler clapped his hands in front of him and rubbed them together. "Now same beginning, but I want each of you to tell the other what it is that you *really* wanted to say, but were too afraid to."
Cordelia knew that if Angel couldn't feel her palms sweating before he could them now. Okay she could do this, no problem. She could sit here and just tell Angel everything that she had hidden in her heart for the last six months, give or take. Yup right here in the middle of a group of strangers she could just ...oh dear lord how was she going to do this.
Angel watched as Cordelia fought with herself, trying to gather her nerve. Her heartbeat had picked up, her breathing rapid. Giving her hands another squeeze of encouragement, her eyes came to his. She was scared. "Cordy if this is too much-."
"No! I can do this." Taking a deep breath, she chided herself for being such a dork. "You make me proud to be your wife because..." Breath damnit! "Angel this is hard."
Angel nodded. He could see the conflict in her eyes, the desire to tell him, yet afraid to share too much of herself. "Do you want me to go first?"
"No, I need to do this, but with out the crappy beginning. If I'm going to be honest here, I can't start by saying I'm your wife." It was now or never. "You make me proud everyday, with the millions of small things you do. You make me proud when I watch you with Conner, the way you have been able to open up and allow something so small and innocent into your heart so completely. Proud about how you take care of our small and sometimes obnoxious family. Everyday you leave a little more of the shadows behind, to join the rest of us in the world. But what makes me love you the most..." Oh god she said love didn't she? Just opened her mouth and let the L word come flying out. Well she could cover and make it into that friendship love thing again. But did she want to? She had bared so much already, why not just go all the way?
He couldn't believe his ears. He heard the words, it was there. Did she mean that she loved him as a friend? He waited patiently for her to continue. Practically holding his breath, like it was even needed, he felt his heart lurch when tears started welling in her eyes.
"What makes me *love* you the most is how you have made my world a safe place for me, to grow and to be myself. A place where you accept me for all my imperfections and allow me to learn who I am. I love your old fashion side when you're opening doors for me or pulling out my chairs. Even your obsessive side when you want to keep me under lock and key to keep me safe. Last but not least I love your dorky side. Everyone already knows that you can do the sit in the dark and be cool thing. But the Dork, he's all mine." Letting go of one of his hands to dry her eyes, Cordelia's smile wavered at his vulnerable expression. "I guess I'm trying to say that I love you."
The smile that spread across Angel's face went from his luscious lips all the way to his heavenly eyes. His grip on her hands tightened. "You love me?"
With a slight nod and trembling lips she whispered yes.
Angel didn't care who was watching, he let go of her hands so that he could embrace her, practically pulling her into his lap. Releasing her, he put a hand under her chin to raise her face to him. "I love you, I don't know the exact moment I realized it, but it's been hell keeping it to myself. Some days I'd feel that if I didn't say something I would explode. Other times I was afraid that if I did say something I'd run you off."
"I wouldn't-."
Putting a hand over her mouth he shook his head with a laugh. "My turn remember?" He laughed again when her eyes rolled. It was such a Cordy thing to do. "You make me proud too, in so many ways. The way you have accepted what the Powers have thrown at you. Perhaps in the beginning you weren't all that hyper about it..." They shared a smile. "I love your concern for those in need. And with Conner... you could've walked away, and I wouldn't have blamed you if you had. First there was that whole Darla thing... But you stayed, and you have taken Conner into your heart, treating him as though he were your own. That in itself means more to me than you'll ever know."
They both sat silently for a moment, so many things they wanted to say. But it was finally out there, the few words they never thought they'd hear the other say. They both knew that instead of making things easier, their feelings made things a little more complicated.
"Wonderful." Tyler took a look around the room as the couples shared their souls. "Now we're going to share with your partners, in a productive way the things that have been bothering you. Now remember, keep away from phrases like 'You always' or 'You never'."
Angel and Cordelia paused. They didn't have the same problems with one another that the other couples had. "Well." Angel looked down and hesitated. "The only thing that you have ever done to upset me was when you kept your medical condition a secret. I was so angry that you kept the CAT scans and painkillers from me. I felt as though you didn't trust me."
"That wasn't it!" Cordelia exclaimed. "I just knew that you'd worry over something that we couldn't do anything about... But you're right, you had the right to know."
"What about me?" Angel tried not to laugh. Cordelia wasn't the type to not say something. Which can at times be highly annoying, but take that away and she wouldn't be Cordy.
"Sure yuck it up." Relieved that they were able to still make jokes at a time like this took the edge off. "I'll have you know that there is one thing that can be just a tad annoying."
"Just one?"
"You rehang towels."
"I what?"
"You're a habitual towel offender."
"You're making this up." Angel chuckled.
Cordelia looked down at Conner for help. "Tell your Daddy that I'm not making this up. That he can't stand it when a towel is hung up and not all perfect like he likes it. Tell him about the times we've tested him, wrinkling the towels on purpose."
"You're a brat."
Tammy stood outside the doorway watching Angelus and Cordelia interact. It was plain to see that they had finally revealed their feelings for one another. It had taken them forever it seemed. Some of the clan members had even started a small pool on when they'd both get a clue.
"Well?" Turning to her cousin John she saw his scowl as he stood waiting for her answer.
"Stacia called, everything is ready for tonight. I need for you to be at my office at exactly five." Watching as John's lips made a very unattractive sneer, she waited for his answer.
"It doesn't matter that I don't think he deserves this does it?" Tammy lifted a brow letting him know she wasn't going to have this conversation with him again. "Fine, but only because Stacia is my sister."
"Whatever. I could care less why you're doing it. But I need to know that you're going to help. I really don't want to have to fend off some royally pissed off vampire by myself." Folding her arms over her chest she glared down at her younger cousin.
"Yes I'll be there." John fumed as he stalked down the hall.
Tammy sighed and returned her attention back to the attractive couple sitting in front of one another laughing. Everything had to go just right tonight. She understood Stacia's decision, more now that she had seen Angelus for herself. Something had to be done and soon.
"Welcome to what I hope will be an hour filled with ways to bring your family units closer together. My name is Tyler..." Angel looked over to where Cordelia sat next to him on the floor holding Conner, listening intently as Tyler went on and on about every degree he owned.
They were at their second class of the morning, and the only good part was that Cordelia wasn't parading around in that skimpy little bikini for everyone in God's creation to see. In fact the moment she closed the bathroom door to shower he had found the suit and tore it in one easy yank. It wasn't until Cordelia was out of the bathroom searching for the garment that he felt bad about taking the upper hand...again. What really did him in was her small smile when she shrugged her shoulders telling him it was his loss.
"In today's class we're going to be discussing on how to strengthen the family bond." Tyler smiled at the room. "I hope to make it as painless as possible."
Everyone laughed. Angel looked at the other three couples. He was relieved to find the class to be smaller than the last one, but when Kara and her husband walked into the room, Angel started looking for the quickest way out.
"As I'm sure you all know ever since your little bundles of joy came into this world, everything has changed. Roles in your partnership shifted, responsibilities multiplied, your priorities changed. Face it your not the same people that you were when you got married. But that's okay, with good communication skills this transition can be a smooth one." Angel could feel Cordelia tense next to him, heard the way her heartbeat skipped a beat. Not knowing what had her acting so peculiar, Angel reached over and took her hand in his, hoping to give her some sort of silent reassurance.
"Now with all these new developments in your lives it's important to learn proper communication skills now, so you don't let things build and fester. Whether its feeling that you're the only one getting up in the middle of the night to take care of the feedings, to feeling the stress of being the only one meeting the families increasing financial needs. These things need to be voiced, but in a productive manner."
Most of the class nodded to this. Angel couldn't really relate. Not with the strong family that surrounded him on a daily basis. Everyone pitched in, even when they weren't required to. Not that he'd ever say the gang had the best communication skills, but still they were all able to speak their minds about certain worries, whether it be financial or something else all together. Perhaps it was the fact that he was actually a single parent that didn't make him feel as though he was pulling most of the weight, it was to be expected.
What ate him away was the desire to make Cordelia more of a permanent fixture in his and Conner's lives, it made him feel guilty at times when he thought how much she was giving up. Was he being selfish? He couldn't help what he was feeling for his seer, anymore than he could stop the sun from setting every night. But it also scared the hell out of him that one day she would wake up and realize what exactly she was giving up by staying by his side. What would life be like without Cordelia Chase? The young woman he once thought to be the most self-centered and needy being on this planet, now was the one thing he truly didn't think he could live without. Life was funny like that.
"When communicating with one another you each need to learn not to use statements like; You always...or you never. These never help. You can say things such as; I feel that...or It makes me feel. This way you aren't placing the blame on the other partner, making their defenses rise. So I want each of you to turn to your partner, and tell one another one thing that really makes them proud about the other."
Each couple shifted so to sit across from one another. Cordelia could feel her hands shake. She could do this, there was alot about Angel that made her proud. Everyday something new would make her stop and think how wonderful it was to have Angel in her life.
As soon as each couple was facing one another, the instructor continued. "I want each of the women to start with: 'You make me so proud to be your wife because...' and the gentlemen to reply with; 'You make me proud to be your husband because... Everyone ready?"
Cordelia felt her mouth go dry as she tried to swallow in vain. How was she supposed to say those words to Angel? Were the PTB laughing at this new situation she had landed herself in? Hoping that Angel didn't notice that her palms were sweating, Cordelia took a deep breath. "You make me proud to be your w-wife because..." Angel held his breath, so far these were the sweetest words his ears had ever heard.
Proud. What made her proud of the man sitting in front of her? How long did she have? Single-spaced, with or without footnotes. So much about Angel made her proud. There was alot that made her mad as hell too, but it didn't even compare. It had to be the way he was able to make her feel so protected just by being there. His ability to make her feel special by a simple touch or look. The wonderful father he turned out to be. It was a true pleasure to be able to just watch the way he interacted with Conner.
"...That you've stayed on your path."
Angel felt his stomach fall, he was so sure that she was going to say something else, perhaps a little more personal. Now he was going to have to change what he was going to say. "You make me proud to be your husband because...of how caring you are."
Not what he was planning to say, but he couldn't really say the things in his heart after her reply.
"Wonderful." Tyler clapped his hands in front of him and rubbed them together. "Now same beginning, but I want each of you to tell the other what it is that you *really* wanted to say, but were too afraid to."
Cordelia knew that if Angel couldn't feel her palms sweating before he could them now. Okay she could do this, no problem. She could sit here and just tell Angel everything that she had hidden in her heart for the last six months, give or take. Yup right here in the middle of a group of strangers she could just ...oh dear lord how was she going to do this.
Angel watched as Cordelia fought with herself, trying to gather her nerve. Her heartbeat had picked up, her breathing rapid. Giving her hands another squeeze of encouragement, her eyes came to his. She was scared. "Cordy if this is too much-."
"No! I can do this." Taking a deep breath, she chided herself for being such a dork. "You make me proud to be your wife because..." Breath damnit! "Angel this is hard."
Angel nodded. He could see the conflict in her eyes, the desire to tell him, yet afraid to share too much of herself. "Do you want me to go first?"
"No, I need to do this, but with out the crappy beginning. If I'm going to be honest here, I can't start by saying I'm your wife." It was now or never. "You make me proud everyday, with the millions of small things you do. You make me proud when I watch you with Conner, the way you have been able to open up and allow something so small and innocent into your heart so completely. Proud about how you take care of our small and sometimes obnoxious family. Everyday you leave a little more of the shadows behind, to join the rest of us in the world. But what makes me love you the most..." Oh god she said love didn't she? Just opened her mouth and let the L word come flying out. Well she could cover and make it into that friendship love thing again. But did she want to? She had bared so much already, why not just go all the way?
He couldn't believe his ears. He heard the words, it was there. Did she mean that she loved him as a friend? He waited patiently for her to continue. Practically holding his breath, like it was even needed, he felt his heart lurch when tears started welling in her eyes.
"What makes me *love* you the most is how you have made my world a safe place for me, to grow and to be myself. A place where you accept me for all my imperfections and allow me to learn who I am. I love your old fashion side when you're opening doors for me or pulling out my chairs. Even your obsessive side when you want to keep me under lock and key to keep me safe. Last but not least I love your dorky side. Everyone already knows that you can do the sit in the dark and be cool thing. But the Dork, he's all mine." Letting go of one of his hands to dry her eyes, Cordelia's smile wavered at his vulnerable expression. "I guess I'm trying to say that I love you."
The smile that spread across Angel's face went from his luscious lips all the way to his heavenly eyes. His grip on her hands tightened. "You love me?"
With a slight nod and trembling lips she whispered yes.
Angel didn't care who was watching, he let go of her hands so that he could embrace her, practically pulling her into his lap. Releasing her, he put a hand under her chin to raise her face to him. "I love you, I don't know the exact moment I realized it, but it's been hell keeping it to myself. Some days I'd feel that if I didn't say something I would explode. Other times I was afraid that if I did say something I'd run you off."
"I wouldn't-."
Putting a hand over her mouth he shook his head with a laugh. "My turn remember?" He laughed again when her eyes rolled. It was such a Cordy thing to do. "You make me proud too, in so many ways. The way you have accepted what the Powers have thrown at you. Perhaps in the beginning you weren't all that hyper about it..." They shared a smile. "I love your concern for those in need. And with Conner... you could've walked away, and I wouldn't have blamed you if you had. First there was that whole Darla thing... But you stayed, and you have taken Conner into your heart, treating him as though he were your own. That in itself means more to me than you'll ever know."
They both sat silently for a moment, so many things they wanted to say. But it was finally out there, the few words they never thought they'd hear the other say. They both knew that instead of making things easier, their feelings made things a little more complicated.
"Wonderful." Tyler took a look around the room as the couples shared their souls. "Now we're going to share with your partners, in a productive way the things that have been bothering you. Now remember, keep away from phrases like 'You always' or 'You never'."
Angel and Cordelia paused. They didn't have the same problems with one another that the other couples had. "Well." Angel looked down and hesitated. "The only thing that you have ever done to upset me was when you kept your medical condition a secret. I was so angry that you kept the CAT scans and painkillers from me. I felt as though you didn't trust me."
"That wasn't it!" Cordelia exclaimed. "I just knew that you'd worry over something that we couldn't do anything about... But you're right, you had the right to know."
"What about me?" Angel tried not to laugh. Cordelia wasn't the type to not say something. Which can at times be highly annoying, but take that away and she wouldn't be Cordy.
"Sure yuck it up." Relieved that they were able to still make jokes at a time like this took the edge off. "I'll have you know that there is one thing that can be just a tad annoying."
"Just one?"
"You rehang towels."
"I what?"
"You're a habitual towel offender."
"You're making this up." Angel chuckled.
Cordelia looked down at Conner for help. "Tell your Daddy that I'm not making this up. That he can't stand it when a towel is hung up and not all perfect like he likes it. Tell him about the times we've tested him, wrinkling the towels on purpose."
"You're a brat."
Tammy stood outside the doorway watching Angelus and Cordelia interact. It was plain to see that they had finally revealed their feelings for one another. It had taken them forever it seemed. Some of the clan members had even started a small pool on when they'd both get a clue.
"Well?" Turning to her cousin John she saw his scowl as he stood waiting for her answer.
"Stacia called, everything is ready for tonight. I need for you to be at my office at exactly five." Watching as John's lips made a very unattractive sneer, she waited for his answer.
"It doesn't matter that I don't think he deserves this does it?" Tammy lifted a brow letting him know she wasn't going to have this conversation with him again. "Fine, but only because Stacia is my sister."
"Whatever. I could care less why you're doing it. But I need to know that you're going to help. I really don't want to have to fend off some royally pissed off vampire by myself." Folding her arms over her chest she glared down at her younger cousin.
"Yes I'll be there." John fumed as he stalked down the hall.
Tammy sighed and returned her attention back to the attractive couple sitting in front of one another laughing. Everything had to go just right tonight. She understood Stacia's decision, more now that she had seen Angelus for herself. Something had to be done and soon.