My name is Rei. I don't think or even know if there is a last name. I
decided to keep a journal at Ryu's urging. He thought it would help my
"moods." I'd better put a description of myself in here. I'm about 20-22
years old, about 6'2". I don't weigh a lot, but I don't know exactly how
much. I don't like boats. Ships are ok but rickety old boats…no. I don't
know where I'm from, what I am, or who I am really. Garr told me that I'm a
Woren and that once there were more like me. Huh…were there? I don't know.
I can barely remember my mother. My "moods…" After the Balio/ Sunder
incident, I went to Ogre Road. I was not a happy person. It was probably
major depression or something like that. Did you know that I didn't always
wear bandages on my arms? No, I didn't. I tried to kill myself. How? Well,
since I carry daggers, I've gotta keep them sharp. I've got a sharpening
tool and it is really sharp. I…um…slit my wrists. Now, even Ryu doesn't
know that so I'm hoping that he never reads this. Anyway some guy, Emitai,
I think…said that he cast a healing spell to stop the bleeding. I woke up
in his house with my arms bandaged. I left right after waking up. I
attacked any person who went in to or came out of Syn City. Eventually, Ryu
beat me on Ogre Road and convinced me to rejoin the group. I wanted to find
Teepo and ask this "God" why I exist. One night, I was sitting outside the
tent, staring into the dancing flames, when Ryu's little scholar friend
stuck her head out of the tent. I guess that she called my name, but I
didn't hear her. I wasn't quite myself. She must have called my name again,
but I still didn't hear her. She came over and tapped me on the shoulder. I
didn't respond, so she shook me. I grabbed her wrist and twisted it
roughly. I glared at her.
"Do not touch me." I hissed. Her eyes widened and I shoved her wrist back at her. "Let me tell you again. Do not touch me. If you do…I'll kill you." I finished, leering at her. She glared back at me. It was a frightening look.
"Look Mr. Punk Thief! I didn't come out here because I wanted to! I came out her because Ryu asked me to tell you to sleep inside tonight! I couldn't care less if you…oh…just jumped off Angel Tower!" she fumed at me.
I looked up at her. "Yeah…I think I will…" I said, standing up.
"FINE!" She yelled. I grinned and started walking to Angel Tower. I snuck past the monks who were guarding it. I climbed up on to the podium thing. I stood there, actually contemplating jumping, when I heard footsteps. Momo came barreling up the steps, grabbed my arm, and tried to yank me off the podium. I jumped down and landed lightly next to her.
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! UGH!! YOU STUPID TIGER!!" She ranted at me. I looked at her calmly.
"You were the one who told me to go jump off a building." I reminded her quietly. She flushed with embarrassment. I turned on my heel and went back to camp. Peco peered at me curiously
"Pukii?" I sighed and sat down in front of the onion.
"Peco…have you ever had such a bad day that you just wanted to lay down and die?" It blinked at me. "Guess not. Hey…can I talk to you?"
"Pukiun!!" It said, bobbing up and down cheerfully.
"Great." I took a deep breath. "I know you can't answer me and probably can't understand me, but…" I laughed at myself, a harsh dry laugh. "I'm talking to a plant now! Man, how dumb am I?! I know that I'm disturbed but I didn't know that I was disturbed enough to talk to a plant that can't even answer me!"
A gentle voice spoke in my mind. "Rei…you doubt yourself too much. Have a little faith in yourself. There are answers to each of your questions. Just quiet your heart and mind and be willing to hear them."
I gaped at the onion. "Did you…say that?" The little mutant just smiled at me. "You're more than you seem, aren't you…?" I murmured. Ryu stuck his head outside of the tent.
"Rei! There you are! Come and sleep inside with the rest of us!" I whirled around.
"When did you start giving out orders?! I'm not a child, Ryu! I don't need anyone to take care of me!" I snapped. He looked like I'd hit him. I sighed. (That was on of my classic moods. Quite and contemplating to violent and untrusting.) "I'm sorry, Ryu. I…I didn't mean to say that." He nodded and smiled at me, forgiving as always. He doesn't know how to hate. Thankfully, he really can't stay mad at anyone. He didn't learn that from me. I've always been a "problem child." Bunyan used to say that I had repressed anger. Other people used to comment that I had an anger management problem. Oh well. Momo came back and stretched out on her pallet next to mine. I turned to her.
"Hey..." I said, tapping her on her shoulder. She looked at me. "I'm sorry about earlier. I kinda…I mean…"
She smiled at me. Wow, she had a nice smile. "It's ok. I probably pushed the limits. I mean, Ryu explained to me about you, and I knew that you were lost in thought. I shouldn't have shaken you." She held out her hand to me. "Truce?"
I smiled back, hopefully not too frighteningly and took her hand. Man, her skin was soft. "Truce." I stretched out on my pallet and found Peco on my pillow. I moved it over and put my head down. Ryu doused the lantern and we all went to sleep. And that, journal, is how today went.
"Do not touch me." I hissed. Her eyes widened and I shoved her wrist back at her. "Let me tell you again. Do not touch me. If you do…I'll kill you." I finished, leering at her. She glared back at me. It was a frightening look.
"Look Mr. Punk Thief! I didn't come out here because I wanted to! I came out her because Ryu asked me to tell you to sleep inside tonight! I couldn't care less if you…oh…just jumped off Angel Tower!" she fumed at me.
I looked up at her. "Yeah…I think I will…" I said, standing up.
"FINE!" She yelled. I grinned and started walking to Angel Tower. I snuck past the monks who were guarding it. I climbed up on to the podium thing. I stood there, actually contemplating jumping, when I heard footsteps. Momo came barreling up the steps, grabbed my arm, and tried to yank me off the podium. I jumped down and landed lightly next to her.
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! UGH!! YOU STUPID TIGER!!" She ranted at me. I looked at her calmly.
"You were the one who told me to go jump off a building." I reminded her quietly. She flushed with embarrassment. I turned on my heel and went back to camp. Peco peered at me curiously
"Pukii?" I sighed and sat down in front of the onion.
"Peco…have you ever had such a bad day that you just wanted to lay down and die?" It blinked at me. "Guess not. Hey…can I talk to you?"
"Pukiun!!" It said, bobbing up and down cheerfully.
"Great." I took a deep breath. "I know you can't answer me and probably can't understand me, but…" I laughed at myself, a harsh dry laugh. "I'm talking to a plant now! Man, how dumb am I?! I know that I'm disturbed but I didn't know that I was disturbed enough to talk to a plant that can't even answer me!"
A gentle voice spoke in my mind. "Rei…you doubt yourself too much. Have a little faith in yourself. There are answers to each of your questions. Just quiet your heart and mind and be willing to hear them."
I gaped at the onion. "Did you…say that?" The little mutant just smiled at me. "You're more than you seem, aren't you…?" I murmured. Ryu stuck his head outside of the tent.
"Rei! There you are! Come and sleep inside with the rest of us!" I whirled around.
"When did you start giving out orders?! I'm not a child, Ryu! I don't need anyone to take care of me!" I snapped. He looked like I'd hit him. I sighed. (That was on of my classic moods. Quite and contemplating to violent and untrusting.) "I'm sorry, Ryu. I…I didn't mean to say that." He nodded and smiled at me, forgiving as always. He doesn't know how to hate. Thankfully, he really can't stay mad at anyone. He didn't learn that from me. I've always been a "problem child." Bunyan used to say that I had repressed anger. Other people used to comment that I had an anger management problem. Oh well. Momo came back and stretched out on her pallet next to mine. I turned to her.
"Hey..." I said, tapping her on her shoulder. She looked at me. "I'm sorry about earlier. I kinda…I mean…"
She smiled at me. Wow, she had a nice smile. "It's ok. I probably pushed the limits. I mean, Ryu explained to me about you, and I knew that you were lost in thought. I shouldn't have shaken you." She held out her hand to me. "Truce?"
I smiled back, hopefully not too frighteningly and took her hand. Man, her skin was soft. "Truce." I stretched out on my pallet and found Peco on my pillow. I moved it over and put my head down. Ryu doused the lantern and we all went to sleep. And that, journal, is how today went.