For the third night in a row, I dreamed the same dream. In my dream, after Ran and I have made love, we're curled up together and about to go to sleep. Every night, he starts chuckling. It's not the laughter that hardly ever emits from him and sounds like an angel singing, but a cruel malicious snicker.
I ask "Ran, why are you laughing?"
Each night he answers, "You! You are so pathetic, Ken. Look at yourself. You're a stupid, boring klutz. What makes you think I could ever love you?"
I start to cry in my dream and then I wake up, crying. Tears roll down my cheeks and Ran wakes up.
"Ken?" he asks, "What's wrong, baby?"
I love it when he calls me 'baby'. He only does it when we're alone. He's so adorable when he's shy. He looks so cold and quiet, but that's because he doesn't like large groups of people. I know all of these cute little secrets about him. It makes me feel so special. Then I remember my dream.
"It's nothing, Ran." I lie.
"You're crying."
"Yeah, I am aren't I?" I'm laughing. Can you believe it? Laughing!
He's looking at me like I'm nuts. I probably am. He wraps his arms around my waist from behind me and rests his head on my neck. His skin is so soft. It's warm, not like mine. My skin's always cool. It has something to do with being born in December. I knew a girl who was born in May and her skin was always warm. It's weird.
He kissed my neck, trying to be comforting, but it just scares me because it makes me think about how beautiful he is. One day he will realize how amazing he is and my dream will come true and he will leave me.
"Ken, was it that dream again? Will you please tell me about it? Maybe I can help?"
My, how the tables have turned. It seemed like yesterday I was trying to get him to talk to me about his sister. Oh, wait. that was this morning. I'm afraid to tell him about my dream because then he will ask questions and then he will realize how beautiful he is and... well, you know. So I just shake my head.
He sighs and curls back into bed and slowly goes to sleep. I will have the dream again tomorrow and this scene will replay itself. That is my destiny. Then the dream will come true and it will become a memory and a nightmare that will most likely plague me for the rest of my life.
I ask "Ran, why are you laughing?"
Each night he answers, "You! You are so pathetic, Ken. Look at yourself. You're a stupid, boring klutz. What makes you think I could ever love you?"
I start to cry in my dream and then I wake up, crying. Tears roll down my cheeks and Ran wakes up.
"Ken?" he asks, "What's wrong, baby?"
I love it when he calls me 'baby'. He only does it when we're alone. He's so adorable when he's shy. He looks so cold and quiet, but that's because he doesn't like large groups of people. I know all of these cute little secrets about him. It makes me feel so special. Then I remember my dream.
"It's nothing, Ran." I lie.
"You're crying."
"Yeah, I am aren't I?" I'm laughing. Can you believe it? Laughing!
He's looking at me like I'm nuts. I probably am. He wraps his arms around my waist from behind me and rests his head on my neck. His skin is so soft. It's warm, not like mine. My skin's always cool. It has something to do with being born in December. I knew a girl who was born in May and her skin was always warm. It's weird.
He kissed my neck, trying to be comforting, but it just scares me because it makes me think about how beautiful he is. One day he will realize how amazing he is and my dream will come true and he will leave me.
"Ken, was it that dream again? Will you please tell me about it? Maybe I can help?"
My, how the tables have turned. It seemed like yesterday I was trying to get him to talk to me about his sister. Oh, wait. that was this morning. I'm afraid to tell him about my dream because then he will ask questions and then he will realize how beautiful he is and... well, you know. So I just shake my head.
He sighs and curls back into bed and slowly goes to sleep. I will have the dream again tomorrow and this scene will replay itself. That is my destiny. Then the dream will come true and it will become a memory and a nightmare that will most likely plague me for the rest of my life.