Author's Notes: I don't any of these characters. I only use them for my enjoyment so please don't sue me. Please r/r! Thank you!
The Reflection of Myself
Chapter 2
By Ivy-chan
I slowly awoke and threw my arms up over my head to loosen my muscles. At that moment a huge yawn overcame me as I sat up in bed. For a slight moment I thought that my trip to the library had been a dream, but it could not have been. I still remembered the book that I had read so vividly that it could not have been a dream. I must have walked back to my room without realizing it. I shrugged my shoulders and pulled myself out bed.
My back and legs were sore from recent lack of exercise and I vowed to do something constructive today instead of my usual moping. It did not take me long to pull on my clothes and I was just about to open my door when Tamahome burst in, almost knocking me over.
Tamahome didn't even bother to apologize and from the expression on his face, I instantly realized that something was wrong. Very wrong. Before I could even begin to formulate a question, he turned his eyes towards me. "Have you seen Miaka?" He asked in a curt voice as his eyes clouded over with worry and sadness.
"No, I haven't. Why? Has something happened?" My eyes were still wide as shock as I straightened up and placed my hand gently on Tamahome's shoulder.
"Kuso." He bowed his head and was about to leave the room when I grabbed onto his arm.
"Tell me what happened Tamahome." My grip on his arm tightened, letting him know that I was not going to let him leave without the whole story.
Tamahome let out a defeated sigh. "It started last night. I… I finally got p the courage and I asked her to marry me." I was about the congratulate him but he continued on before I could say anything. "She refused me. Told that she had never really felt anything for me in the first place." A tear slipped down Tamahome's face and my heart ached for him.
"I didn't believe her then and I still don't believe her now." He brought his tear-filled up and looked directly into mine. "This morning when I went to talk to her, I found her room in a mess." His shoulders sagged as he sucked in some air and I watched as he tried to relax himself. "I've looked everywhere Nuriko. I can't find her." He buried his face in his hands and I wrapped my arms around him for a brief second before letting him go.
I grabbed his arm as I ran out the doorway to my room, "Come on Tamahome! The palace is a huge place. She could be anywhere." I flashed him a smile hoping that it would cheer it up a bit. I hated seeing him down in the dumps.
* * *
After several hours of searching the palace there was still no sign of Miaka. As much as I hated to admit it, she most definitely was not anywhere on palace grounds. Which only meant one thing. Miaka left. On her own. I sat down with a defeated sigh on the bank of the lake.
"Gomen ne Tamahome." I put my arm around his shoulders as he sat down next to me.
"It's not your fault Nuriko." He stared out at the water for several moments before once again standing. "I might as well inform Hotohori of her disappearance."
I grabbed his sleeve as he walked by, "If you want, I'll tell him Tama-chan. You just get some rest."
He gave me a grateful smile as he walked away, "Arigatou Nuriko-chan. You are a true friend."
I smiled to myself as he walked away; glad to know that I have somewhere to turn when I need a friend. I pulled myself up from the ground and began to steel myself for the rage that Hotohori would most likely show once he found out that Miaka had left.
I had several minuets to think as I walked through the palace to the throne room. I was still not ready to face Hotohori-sama, especially after those dreams he had been having lately, but I had wanted to help out Tamahome and this was a good way to do it.
Tamahome and Hotohori still were on heated terms as Hotohori struggled with the fact that Miaka would never love him. Deep down I felt really bad for Hotohori. He was in the same situation that I was in and I knew exactly how it felt. Then there was the jealous part of me that took joy in the fact that Hotohori was now experiencing the feelings I had to face everyday. It wouldn't be so bad if I had chosen an ordinary man to fall in love with, but no, I had to choose the Emperor. I dropped my head and sighed sadly as I continued to walk through the maze known as the palace hallways.
As I neared the doors to Hotohori's audience chambers, I saw the guards stationed outside draw their swords and bar the doorway. I shook my head at them. I knew that they were only doing their job but they knew very well that I was one of Suzaku's chosen. "I need to speak with his Highness." The guards glanced at me with a wary eye before they sheathed their swords and opened the door for me. I took a deep breath before walking through them to face the Emperor.
* * *
I glanced up from the maps and reports scattered all over my desk to see Nuriko entering my chambers. I rose from my chair and pulled off my hat containing my hair and let it fall free around my shoulders. I was trying very hard to show him that were both equals and that I only wished to be treated as another guy along for the ride. I greeted Nuriko as he stopped beside me. I took a step back as he glanced up at me and our eyes make contact. His violet eyes were filled with a melancholy cloud. "What is the matter Nuriko?" I asked, letting my concern for him showing in his voice.
Suddenly Nuriko became nervous and he picked up the end of his braid and started to play with it. "Well… I… There's something I need to tell you." He glanced down at the floor and stared at his feet.
My heart began to beat in my chest as the silence lengthened. I suddenly became nervous as well and I could not figure out why. What could he need to talk to me about? I gestured towards a chair and he gratefully sank into it. I grabbed the chair next to it and turned so that I was facing Nuriko. I ran my fingers through my hair as I sucked in huge breath of air. "What is it Nuriko?"
Nuriko hesitated before mumbling through his teeth, "Miaka is missing Hotohori-sama."
I was caught off guard. I let out a sigh as I leaned back in the chair, "Are you sure?"
"Hai, Tamahome and I searched everywhere."
"Do have any idea where she could be?" I was still in slight shock. What was she thinking? Going off on her own like that?
Nuriko sadly shook his head, "Neither does Tamahome." He heaved a deep sigh and buried his head in his hands. His shoulders looked like they were shaking slightly.
I reached out slowly and hesitantly put my hand on his shoulder, "Are you okay Nuriko?" I squeezed his shoulder slightly, trying to reassure him.
He shrugged his shoulders and brushed my hand away, "Yeah, I'm fine." He stood and turned towards the doors looking as if he was about to bolt. "I'm going to look for Tamahome and see if we can find any clues as to where Miaka might have run off to." He gave a small wave and walked casually out of the room.
"Nuriko" He stopped in the doorway and turned to face me, "I just want you to know that if anything is bothering you; I'm always here to talk to." He smiled gently at me before mouthing the words 'thank you' and closing the doors behind him.
I sat back down behind my desk. I tossed the papers aside knowing that I could not concentrate on that now. Not when the Miko was missing. Where would she have gone? For that matter, why did she leave? There were so many questions that needed answering. Hopefully Tamahome would be willing to answer some of them for me.
I knew that there was still some tension that needed to be resolved between Tamahome and I, but he needed to know that I am no longer competing with him for Miaka's attentions. I came to terms with the fact that Miaka and Tamahome were really in love. That was not something that I wanted to mess up. In the long run I don't think that Miaka would have made me happy like I thought she would. I dropped my head into my hands as I tried to think of something to do.
Before long though I found that my thoughts were slowly branching out towards Nuriko. He had looked so forlorn. I wonder what's wrong with him. But in the back of my mind, I knew what it was. Me. I sighed and lounged back in my chair. Ever since the evil Miaka had revealed to us that Nuriko was really a man, Nuriko had begun to pull away from everyone. He wasn't always as cheerful as he used to be and he stopped his endless flirting. I had to admit that I kind of missed that. He used to be a person that I could be myself with but I didn't have that anymore. Not with him or anyone else for that matter.
Most of all, I wanted to apologize to him. I now knew what it felt like to be rejected and it hurt like hell. I hadn't even let him down as easily as Miaka had let me down. I shook my head sadly at myself and wondered how I could ever fix the wrong that I had done to him… and myself. I could have just lost the one thing that might have made me happy.
* * *
I sighed and leaned back against the huge heavy doors. I looked down at my hands, which were still shaking. I wiped them nervously on my shirt and hoped that Hotohori had not noticed my nervousness. It had been so hard to face him ever since he had found out. I always felt like he was judging me every time he even so much as looked my way. He must think I'm a freak. How could I have even dreamed that he might love me? I knew the answer to that though. I've asked myself this question for years and after many hours spent debating it, I've found the answer.
I pushed away from the door and walked quickly through the halls to Tamahome's quarters. It didn't take me long to find my way there. These parts of the palace I knew like the back of my hand. I used to sneak in here late night and grope my way to the kitchen for food. I may not be able to eat as much as Miaka, but I usually eat my fair share of food.
I pushed open the doors to Tamahome's rooms and burst through the doors with a big smile on my face, "Konnichi wa Tamahome!" I blinked at the empty room I encountered. I turned on my heel and was just about to exit when a slight movement from the bed caught my eye. I closed the door and tiptoed over to the side of the bed and pulled the covers off. Underneath them I discovered Tamahome curled up in a ball. I smiled softly and pulled the covers up around his shoulders and tucked him in. I felt a tug on my robe as I turned to walk away.
"What did Hotohori say?" Tamahome opened his eyes and looked up at me with those eyes full of so much sadness. My heart went out to him and I reached out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"He wants to talk to you sometime tonight so I suggest that you go see him." Tamahome frowned and averted his gaze from my eyes. "Don't worry Tama-chan. He only wants some clues to her whereabouts. This has nothing to do with your rivalry with him."
Tamahome let out a sigh of relief and stood up from the bed. "Thanks Nuriko." He gave a little wave before closing the door behind him. I forced a smile on my face before I, too, left.
* * *
I slowly walked down the long corridors to Hotohori's chambers. If what Nuriko said was true then this wouldn't be so bad. But if he was wrong then there was no telling if I would be walking out of those doors again. I knocked tentatively at the door to Hotohori's rooms.
"Come in." A voice called from inside the room and Tamahome opened the door and stepped inside. Hotohori was bent over his desk scribbling furiously on a piece of paper. He looked up and once he saw that he was me who had knocked; he stood up and quickly walked over to me. He gestured to a couch on the opposite wall as he greeted me.
I gratefully took the seat on the couch and folded my hands in my lap. "What was it that you wanted to ask me?" I glanced up at him and watched as he seated himself in a chair across from me.
The silence stretched out and I was about to ask him again, thinking that he hadn't heard me when he finally spoke, "Before we get to that, I want to tell you something Tamahome." He glanced down at the floor as if he was nervous about something. I patiently waited for him to continue on. His gazed remained glued to the floor as he spoke, "I just want you to know that I will no longer come between you and Miaka. I can tell that the love you hold for her is true and I can never compete with something like that. She's all yours and she always will be. It is evident that she loves you very much." Hotohori glanced up at me with his eyes filled with sadness.
My breath caught in my throat as I contemplated over what he had just said to me. It all caught me quiet off guard. I ran my hands through my hair before I finally looked Hotohori in the eyes. "Arigatou Hotohori-sama. I'm glad that you approve." The later was said with a bit of resentment edging into my voice, but I tried to smooth that over with a friendly smile.
Hotohori returned the smile, "I know that was unexpected, but I'm glad you understand." He crossed his legs and leaned back into the welcoming arms of the chair, "Tamahome, please call me Hotohori. I'm tired of hearing those honorific terms from my friends."
My eyes widened in surprise at hearing those words and when Hotohori saw my expression he laughed. "You think of us as your friends?" At his nod my cheeks flushed with embarrassment and quickly apologized, "Gomen ne Hotohori. I never thought… I… it's just that you never spend much time with us." My cheeks turned ever redder, "It's not all your fault either though. We forget to include you sometimes because we always think that you are busy or that you have better things to do. Gomen Hotohori."
Hotohori's eyes filled with sadness, "I don't blame you Tamahome. I sometimes forget how to treat the people that I care about. That's how I lost-" Hotohori quickly cut off and averted his gaze.
I puzzled over what he had said and wondered who it had been that he had lost. He couldn't have been talking about Miaka. He definitely showed her several times how much he cared for her. So who could it be?
I was thrown out of my thoughts when Hotohori began to speak, "Tamahome, Do you know why Miaka ran away?"
I dropped my head a sucked in a deep breath, "I… I asked her to marry me and she turned on me. She told me that she was only playing with me and that she never really loved me. I didn't believe her then and I don't believe her now. Someone must have said something to her." My eyes began to well with tears but I quickly pushed them aside before glancing up at Hotohori.
His mouth was in the shape of an 'o' and he looked surprised. I felt a sudden urge to laugh but I didn't. "She really said that to you?" He ran his hand though his hair, "I don't believe it either." He let out a long sigh before continuing, "I guess the only thing to do is look for. Inform the others of our decision and be ready to leave tomorrow morning." I nodded and stood up. Hotohori flashed me a reassuring smile before I closed the doors behind me.
* * *
I wrapped my arms tightly around my shoulders as I tried to ward of the cold night air. As I cautiously watched the shadows moving between the trees in the forest and asked myself for the millionth time, Why did I run away? It was the stupidest thing I have ever done and if I only knew they way back towards the palace I would turn around a go right now. But I was lost and I was never going to find my way home again.
Tears began to slip down my face and soon I was crying so hard that I couldn't see anything. I knelt down where I was standing and closed my eyes against the pain. How could I have done that to Tamahome? I was ashamed at what I had done. I never really meant any of it. I just hoped he knew it. *Snap* I quickly reeled around trying to find the source of the sound. *Snap* My legs began to shake and I tried to pull myself to my feet but before I could I felt a hand close over my mouth.
"Be still and don't say a word." He whispered against my ear and before I could do anything to stop him the world around me went black.
The Reflection of Myself
Chapter 2
By Ivy-chan
I slowly awoke and threw my arms up over my head to loosen my muscles. At that moment a huge yawn overcame me as I sat up in bed. For a slight moment I thought that my trip to the library had been a dream, but it could not have been. I still remembered the book that I had read so vividly that it could not have been a dream. I must have walked back to my room without realizing it. I shrugged my shoulders and pulled myself out bed.
My back and legs were sore from recent lack of exercise and I vowed to do something constructive today instead of my usual moping. It did not take me long to pull on my clothes and I was just about to open my door when Tamahome burst in, almost knocking me over.
Tamahome didn't even bother to apologize and from the expression on his face, I instantly realized that something was wrong. Very wrong. Before I could even begin to formulate a question, he turned his eyes towards me. "Have you seen Miaka?" He asked in a curt voice as his eyes clouded over with worry and sadness.
"No, I haven't. Why? Has something happened?" My eyes were still wide as shock as I straightened up and placed my hand gently on Tamahome's shoulder.
"Kuso." He bowed his head and was about to leave the room when I grabbed onto his arm.
"Tell me what happened Tamahome." My grip on his arm tightened, letting him know that I was not going to let him leave without the whole story.
Tamahome let out a defeated sigh. "It started last night. I… I finally got p the courage and I asked her to marry me." I was about the congratulate him but he continued on before I could say anything. "She refused me. Told that she had never really felt anything for me in the first place." A tear slipped down Tamahome's face and my heart ached for him.
"I didn't believe her then and I still don't believe her now." He brought his tear-filled up and looked directly into mine. "This morning when I went to talk to her, I found her room in a mess." His shoulders sagged as he sucked in some air and I watched as he tried to relax himself. "I've looked everywhere Nuriko. I can't find her." He buried his face in his hands and I wrapped my arms around him for a brief second before letting him go.
I grabbed his arm as I ran out the doorway to my room, "Come on Tamahome! The palace is a huge place. She could be anywhere." I flashed him a smile hoping that it would cheer it up a bit. I hated seeing him down in the dumps.
* * *
After several hours of searching the palace there was still no sign of Miaka. As much as I hated to admit it, she most definitely was not anywhere on palace grounds. Which only meant one thing. Miaka left. On her own. I sat down with a defeated sigh on the bank of the lake.
"Gomen ne Tamahome." I put my arm around his shoulders as he sat down next to me.
"It's not your fault Nuriko." He stared out at the water for several moments before once again standing. "I might as well inform Hotohori of her disappearance."
I grabbed his sleeve as he walked by, "If you want, I'll tell him Tama-chan. You just get some rest."
He gave me a grateful smile as he walked away, "Arigatou Nuriko-chan. You are a true friend."
I smiled to myself as he walked away; glad to know that I have somewhere to turn when I need a friend. I pulled myself up from the ground and began to steel myself for the rage that Hotohori would most likely show once he found out that Miaka had left.
I had several minuets to think as I walked through the palace to the throne room. I was still not ready to face Hotohori-sama, especially after those dreams he had been having lately, but I had wanted to help out Tamahome and this was a good way to do it.
Tamahome and Hotohori still were on heated terms as Hotohori struggled with the fact that Miaka would never love him. Deep down I felt really bad for Hotohori. He was in the same situation that I was in and I knew exactly how it felt. Then there was the jealous part of me that took joy in the fact that Hotohori was now experiencing the feelings I had to face everyday. It wouldn't be so bad if I had chosen an ordinary man to fall in love with, but no, I had to choose the Emperor. I dropped my head and sighed sadly as I continued to walk through the maze known as the palace hallways.
As I neared the doors to Hotohori's audience chambers, I saw the guards stationed outside draw their swords and bar the doorway. I shook my head at them. I knew that they were only doing their job but they knew very well that I was one of Suzaku's chosen. "I need to speak with his Highness." The guards glanced at me with a wary eye before they sheathed their swords and opened the door for me. I took a deep breath before walking through them to face the Emperor.
* * *
I glanced up from the maps and reports scattered all over my desk to see Nuriko entering my chambers. I rose from my chair and pulled off my hat containing my hair and let it fall free around my shoulders. I was trying very hard to show him that were both equals and that I only wished to be treated as another guy along for the ride. I greeted Nuriko as he stopped beside me. I took a step back as he glanced up at me and our eyes make contact. His violet eyes were filled with a melancholy cloud. "What is the matter Nuriko?" I asked, letting my concern for him showing in his voice.
Suddenly Nuriko became nervous and he picked up the end of his braid and started to play with it. "Well… I… There's something I need to tell you." He glanced down at the floor and stared at his feet.
My heart began to beat in my chest as the silence lengthened. I suddenly became nervous as well and I could not figure out why. What could he need to talk to me about? I gestured towards a chair and he gratefully sank into it. I grabbed the chair next to it and turned so that I was facing Nuriko. I ran my fingers through my hair as I sucked in huge breath of air. "What is it Nuriko?"
Nuriko hesitated before mumbling through his teeth, "Miaka is missing Hotohori-sama."
I was caught off guard. I let out a sigh as I leaned back in the chair, "Are you sure?"
"Hai, Tamahome and I searched everywhere."
"Do have any idea where she could be?" I was still in slight shock. What was she thinking? Going off on her own like that?
Nuriko sadly shook his head, "Neither does Tamahome." He heaved a deep sigh and buried his head in his hands. His shoulders looked like they were shaking slightly.
I reached out slowly and hesitantly put my hand on his shoulder, "Are you okay Nuriko?" I squeezed his shoulder slightly, trying to reassure him.
He shrugged his shoulders and brushed my hand away, "Yeah, I'm fine." He stood and turned towards the doors looking as if he was about to bolt. "I'm going to look for Tamahome and see if we can find any clues as to where Miaka might have run off to." He gave a small wave and walked casually out of the room.
"Nuriko" He stopped in the doorway and turned to face me, "I just want you to know that if anything is bothering you; I'm always here to talk to." He smiled gently at me before mouthing the words 'thank you' and closing the doors behind him.
I sat back down behind my desk. I tossed the papers aside knowing that I could not concentrate on that now. Not when the Miko was missing. Where would she have gone? For that matter, why did she leave? There were so many questions that needed answering. Hopefully Tamahome would be willing to answer some of them for me.
I knew that there was still some tension that needed to be resolved between Tamahome and I, but he needed to know that I am no longer competing with him for Miaka's attentions. I came to terms with the fact that Miaka and Tamahome were really in love. That was not something that I wanted to mess up. In the long run I don't think that Miaka would have made me happy like I thought she would. I dropped my head into my hands as I tried to think of something to do.
Before long though I found that my thoughts were slowly branching out towards Nuriko. He had looked so forlorn. I wonder what's wrong with him. But in the back of my mind, I knew what it was. Me. I sighed and lounged back in my chair. Ever since the evil Miaka had revealed to us that Nuriko was really a man, Nuriko had begun to pull away from everyone. He wasn't always as cheerful as he used to be and he stopped his endless flirting. I had to admit that I kind of missed that. He used to be a person that I could be myself with but I didn't have that anymore. Not with him or anyone else for that matter.
Most of all, I wanted to apologize to him. I now knew what it felt like to be rejected and it hurt like hell. I hadn't even let him down as easily as Miaka had let me down. I shook my head sadly at myself and wondered how I could ever fix the wrong that I had done to him… and myself. I could have just lost the one thing that might have made me happy.
* * *
I sighed and leaned back against the huge heavy doors. I looked down at my hands, which were still shaking. I wiped them nervously on my shirt and hoped that Hotohori had not noticed my nervousness. It had been so hard to face him ever since he had found out. I always felt like he was judging me every time he even so much as looked my way. He must think I'm a freak. How could I have even dreamed that he might love me? I knew the answer to that though. I've asked myself this question for years and after many hours spent debating it, I've found the answer.
I pushed away from the door and walked quickly through the halls to Tamahome's quarters. It didn't take me long to find my way there. These parts of the palace I knew like the back of my hand. I used to sneak in here late night and grope my way to the kitchen for food. I may not be able to eat as much as Miaka, but I usually eat my fair share of food.
I pushed open the doors to Tamahome's rooms and burst through the doors with a big smile on my face, "Konnichi wa Tamahome!" I blinked at the empty room I encountered. I turned on my heel and was just about to exit when a slight movement from the bed caught my eye. I closed the door and tiptoed over to the side of the bed and pulled the covers off. Underneath them I discovered Tamahome curled up in a ball. I smiled softly and pulled the covers up around his shoulders and tucked him in. I felt a tug on my robe as I turned to walk away.
"What did Hotohori say?" Tamahome opened his eyes and looked up at me with those eyes full of so much sadness. My heart went out to him and I reached out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"He wants to talk to you sometime tonight so I suggest that you go see him." Tamahome frowned and averted his gaze from my eyes. "Don't worry Tama-chan. He only wants some clues to her whereabouts. This has nothing to do with your rivalry with him."
Tamahome let out a sigh of relief and stood up from the bed. "Thanks Nuriko." He gave a little wave before closing the door behind him. I forced a smile on my face before I, too, left.
* * *
I slowly walked down the long corridors to Hotohori's chambers. If what Nuriko said was true then this wouldn't be so bad. But if he was wrong then there was no telling if I would be walking out of those doors again. I knocked tentatively at the door to Hotohori's rooms.
"Come in." A voice called from inside the room and Tamahome opened the door and stepped inside. Hotohori was bent over his desk scribbling furiously on a piece of paper. He looked up and once he saw that he was me who had knocked; he stood up and quickly walked over to me. He gestured to a couch on the opposite wall as he greeted me.
I gratefully took the seat on the couch and folded my hands in my lap. "What was it that you wanted to ask me?" I glanced up at him and watched as he seated himself in a chair across from me.
The silence stretched out and I was about to ask him again, thinking that he hadn't heard me when he finally spoke, "Before we get to that, I want to tell you something Tamahome." He glanced down at the floor as if he was nervous about something. I patiently waited for him to continue on. His gazed remained glued to the floor as he spoke, "I just want you to know that I will no longer come between you and Miaka. I can tell that the love you hold for her is true and I can never compete with something like that. She's all yours and she always will be. It is evident that she loves you very much." Hotohori glanced up at me with his eyes filled with sadness.
My breath caught in my throat as I contemplated over what he had just said to me. It all caught me quiet off guard. I ran my hands through my hair before I finally looked Hotohori in the eyes. "Arigatou Hotohori-sama. I'm glad that you approve." The later was said with a bit of resentment edging into my voice, but I tried to smooth that over with a friendly smile.
Hotohori returned the smile, "I know that was unexpected, but I'm glad you understand." He crossed his legs and leaned back into the welcoming arms of the chair, "Tamahome, please call me Hotohori. I'm tired of hearing those honorific terms from my friends."
My eyes widened in surprise at hearing those words and when Hotohori saw my expression he laughed. "You think of us as your friends?" At his nod my cheeks flushed with embarrassment and quickly apologized, "Gomen ne Hotohori. I never thought… I… it's just that you never spend much time with us." My cheeks turned ever redder, "It's not all your fault either though. We forget to include you sometimes because we always think that you are busy or that you have better things to do. Gomen Hotohori."
Hotohori's eyes filled with sadness, "I don't blame you Tamahome. I sometimes forget how to treat the people that I care about. That's how I lost-" Hotohori quickly cut off and averted his gaze.
I puzzled over what he had said and wondered who it had been that he had lost. He couldn't have been talking about Miaka. He definitely showed her several times how much he cared for her. So who could it be?
I was thrown out of my thoughts when Hotohori began to speak, "Tamahome, Do you know why Miaka ran away?"
I dropped my head a sucked in a deep breath, "I… I asked her to marry me and she turned on me. She told me that she was only playing with me and that she never really loved me. I didn't believe her then and I don't believe her now. Someone must have said something to her." My eyes began to well with tears but I quickly pushed them aside before glancing up at Hotohori.
His mouth was in the shape of an 'o' and he looked surprised. I felt a sudden urge to laugh but I didn't. "She really said that to you?" He ran his hand though his hair, "I don't believe it either." He let out a long sigh before continuing, "I guess the only thing to do is look for. Inform the others of our decision and be ready to leave tomorrow morning." I nodded and stood up. Hotohori flashed me a reassuring smile before I closed the doors behind me.
* * *
I wrapped my arms tightly around my shoulders as I tried to ward of the cold night air. As I cautiously watched the shadows moving between the trees in the forest and asked myself for the millionth time, Why did I run away? It was the stupidest thing I have ever done and if I only knew they way back towards the palace I would turn around a go right now. But I was lost and I was never going to find my way home again.
Tears began to slip down my face and soon I was crying so hard that I couldn't see anything. I knelt down where I was standing and closed my eyes against the pain. How could I have done that to Tamahome? I was ashamed at what I had done. I never really meant any of it. I just hoped he knew it. *Snap* I quickly reeled around trying to find the source of the sound. *Snap* My legs began to shake and I tried to pull myself to my feet but before I could I felt a hand close over my mouth.
"Be still and don't say a word." He whispered against my ear and before I could do anything to stop him the world around me went black.