Author: Fallen Angel

Email: fallen_angel_2012@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. Don't sue.

Chapter 4

[The Maxwell residence]

The time they spent with the Maxwell's were the best times of Relena's life.

First of all - and even after many more years, Relena would believe it - the Maxwell's were the kindest people she had ever met. They were the living embodiment of a phrase Relena had heard once, that 'love is contagious, and once caught, is passed on to everyone we meet.' Seeing them together, Relena understood how, with only love and faith as their companions, Duo and Hilde were able to make a life in the wilderness. Had their bodies not been so human, they were the kind of people who could live without air if they had to, as long as they had each other. They complemented each other perfectly: Duo was humour on the outside, with seriousness on the inside. Hilde was seriousness on the outside, but humour on the inside.

On top of that, they were that rare breed of people who sees things not as they should or could be, but as they were. Even if Relena had been able to tell them who she really were, she knew they would have treated her no differently.

The aura of peace that followed Hilde and Duo around seemed catching. Relena had never felt more at peace than when she was helping Hilde in the garden, or cooking the evening meal, or walking to the Maori village to trade vegetables for other necessities, such as medicines or spices.

And whatever was happening to Relena was happening to Heero too. At first her 'husband' seemed off-put by Duo's sense of humour and unabashed honesty. Soon, though, after having to go hunting together or in search of firewood, Heero saw Duo's many valuable traits and built a sort of grudging admiration for him.

But if the nights were joyful for Relena, the nights were pure bliss.

After dinner, when they had all joked and shared stories about their days - usually how Duo had played a practical joke on Heero and then earned a very potent death glare - they all went to sleep.

Or at least, the couples went to their separate rooms. But Heero and Relena wouldn't sleep. As they lay on a layer of blankets thick enough to make a mattress, they would talk for hours on end. Not touching or kissing. Just talking.

Well, most of the time Relena would talk and Heero would listen, since he insisted he had nothing much to say and enjoyed listening more. She would tell him about her life in London, about the mother who died when she was but a baby and the father who had had to be both parents to her growing up. The brother who'd gone missing many years earlier. She would tell him about finishing school and the girls she knew, none of them sharing her love of adventure and eagerness to break through the barriers put on women. She would confess her soul to him and in return, he would offer an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on when the memories were painful or sad.

It was there in the darkness, lying facing each other, that Relena and Heero fell deeply and irrevocably in love. But there was one thing neither ever dreamed to mention - what would happen when they had to go back? A merchant ship would arrive one fortnight after they'd met the Maxwells that would be able to take them to Australia. Each night was all the more bittersweet since it brought them one day closer to the end of their escape into paradise. Neither knew what their future in Australia would bring but both knew they feared it. For nothing could ever be as good as this.

29th November, 1805

Dearest Log,

Tomorrow the boat arrives which will take us to Australia. If not for father, if not for the pain I know he must be enduring, I would never leave. I know I could convince Heero to stay with me as well. I know that if I wanted to, I could convince him to build a new life here with me, away from the society that would tear us apart.

But I could no more do that than he could make love to me by the river that night. I see now that we have no right to change our destinies that way when we don't know if we could pay for the consequences. Could I sacrifice my virtue for that one night with him? Could I never see my father again to live with Heero here?

My head tells me the answer is no. But my heart threatens to betray me. And I know the same is for Heero. I can tell that his feelings towards me are changing, getting stronger. We don't fight as much as we did those first few days, in fact, we don't really fight at all. We understand each other now: I know he no longer sees me as a princess, though occasionally he will call me that, just to tease.

Tomorrow may bring all that to an end. And I'm terrified, Dearest Log, I truly am. I am suddenly afraid of the life I led because there is no place for a man like Heero in it. I know he is afraid too, though he won't say it.

Remember how I wrote that we have no right to change our destinies? Well, the more I think about it, the more I realise it is MY destiny to do with as I please. What should the world care if I love Heero Yuy? What should it matter?

And the more I think about this, the harder it is going to be to avoid what both of us have been fighting since we got here. And I'm not sure I want to anymore.

Heero woke early, the way he always had, even before they'd arrived on this island. But this morning was different. He wasn't alone. Relena was in his bed. She'd been in his bed for a fortnight now.

Though never like this before. Never naked, curled up against his own naked body, her golden hair splayed out across his arm and her own arm laying against his stomach.

His mind went back to the night before with equal joy and confusion. He'd tried to convince her that they shouldn't, that it wasn't right…until she'd convinced him that he was only saying what society had taught him to say. If he listened to his heart, it would say something different.

He did. And it did.

And once he'd had that first taste of her lips, their first kiss since the night by the river, he was lost. He couldn't have stopped if he tried and her gentle encouragements and soft sighs only urged him on until he'd brought them both to the pinnacle.

The thought of it was enough to increase his heart rate and hasten his breathing. He calmed it, though, so as not to disturb her. But when he watched her breathe and examined her face, he knew she wasn't asleep at all.

"You're awake," he said softly. "How long for?"

"A while," she answered just as softly. She raised her face to look at his and he sighed at the sadness he saw in her sky-blue eyes. "I didn't want to wake up, though. I wanted last night to last forever."

"So did I." Heero heard his voice crack just a little as he said this, but ignored it. You have to be strong here, Yuy, he thought to himself. She doesn't belong here. Neither do you. There are other places we both need to be.

She opened her mouth and he could see her forming the question 'could we stay?' but it seemed to die on her lips. He knew because it had happened to him too.

Instead she asked; "How much longer do we have?"

"Duo said the vessel will be docked all day until sunset. He said it should only take us an hour or so to reach the jetty. We should leave early just in case."

She nodded in agreement, but said nothing. He could tell that she didn't want to talk: this was the last time they could be together like this.

"So how long till we leave?" she asked.

"We should be gone within the hour."

"We have time then," she said, eyes fairly pleading with him. Though she didn't need to ask. He understood.

Kissing her deeply, he moved above her once again and tried to ignore the tears that welled up in him at the thought that this would be the last time they would make love. Instead, he focused himself on only her: the sight of her, the taste of her, the feel of her. She filled his consciousness and his arms and when she called his name, the rest of the world faded away, the way a drop of water turns to nothing in the heat of the sun.

3rd December, 1805

Dearest Log,

I have never felt agony compared to what I felt on the jetty that day. It wasn't just leaving the island behind, or even leaving the Maxwells - though that in itself was hard. I had said a teary farewell to Hilde at the cottage, promising to repay her for her kindness and friendship one day and to write often. Duo had walked us to the jetty though, and as we farewelled him too, I found myself holding back more tears. Even Heero looked quite dismayed as he shook hands with a man I think he was beginning to consider a friend.

The merchant captain who owned the ship was happy to accept my necklace as payment for our passage. He was also kind enough to promise to return it once we reached Australia and I was able to get money from Father.

Heero and I continue to play husband and wife, but the masquerade seems harder to keep up now that we have sworn not to show affection for one another. We hope it will make things easier before we reach Australia in two weeks time. And maybe if we can fool our bodies, we can fool our hearts. But I know in my heart that I will still love him as much the moment we land on Australian soil. Even years from now, I will still feel this way.

Each day is harder than the one before it, though. It's like we are paying for the privilege of our time on the island when each day had been better than the one before. Just as Adam and Eve had felt the sorrow after their eviction from the garden, so do we. Heero and I share the same room at night, but we don't talk as before, though I lie awake many nights wishing we could. During the days, I watch the ocean and with half a heart, think of Father and with the other, think of Heero. I can see him retreating further and further into an emotional shell, cutting me off from him bit by bit.

I want to tell him that it would be alright, that we would find a way to be together. That I will talk to father and convince him I loved this man more than life itself and father would say it was okay. But society never would. Rich girls couldn't marry poor men without bringing their virtue into question. Which, for father's sake, meant I would have to leave home. And I couldn't do that. Mother had left us, I couldn't do the same. And I wish, not for the last time, that we were back on the island.

Sydney harbour, for all its beauty and clear blue water, loomed in front of Relena as if she were a convict and this were to be her prison. She was so lost in this thought that it took her a moment to notice that something was bothering the captain. Then, when she looked towards the harbour, she saw the problem: all the boats seemed to be leaving.

She made her way towards where the captain was signalling another boat. Not surprisingly, Heero was already there.

"What's going on?" she asked him.

"There are riots in the colony," he answered grimly. "Some of the convicts have escaped and they've joined with the free settlers in rebelling against Governor Trieze."

"Where is the Governor?"

"No one knows. He's in hiding. But he's using the royal guard to control the people. No one wants to be here when the war breaks out."

Relena turned to the captain. "We are still docking though, aren't we?"

"Yes, but not for long. We'll pick up supplies before heading back to New Zealand. You'd be wise to come with us: it's not safe here."

"Thank you," she replied. "But we have family here and things to do."

"Very well," said the captain. "Best of luck to you, then. You'll be needing it."

The meaning of his words didn't hit Relena until they had docked and she and Heero were making their way through the wharves. All around them was chaos, people running back and forth, trying to get their possessions on a boat as soon as possible. In the town itself things were worse: shopkeepers and merchants were closing up in case people decided to start looting. It had already happened to a few shops, from what Relena could see. And every so often, she would have to cling tightly to Heero as a crowd of people made their way down the street, shouting things like, 'Freedom' and 'Justice' and 'Hang Governor Trieze.'

"That's treason," Relena said to herself.

"You'd do that too, if you'd had to live the way these people have," said Heero. "For a long time now, Governor Trieze has been cutting back on rations, raising taxes and making life harder for everyone in general. He even increased the land rates so that the farmers have to work all day in this heat just to earn enough to survive."

"That's awful," she said, "but my father was meant to fix all this. His Majesty sent him to negotiate with the Governor. I can't understand what went wrong."

Heero remained silent.

"You think my father's dead, don't you?" asked Relena softly.

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to. I know how you think and I know how you see Governor Trieze…"

"It's not just how I see him. It's how he is."

"You don't know that," said Relena, fighting down her fear that Heero may be right. "You've never met him."

"I don't need to."

Relena cocked her head to one side. "There's something you're not telling me, Heero."

He sighed. "I'll tell you when I get a chance. For now, we have to find somewhere safe. It's never good to be on the streets when a rebellion is going on."