Chapter Six

Jamie's facial expression changed so quickly that it would be impossible for anyone to decide whether it had changed at all. His mood changed just as swiftly, if not quicker. One minute he was full of happiness, the next despair. He was lost for words. He stood there in silence.

"Jamie?" Joelle asked. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," he replied, not able to hide the bitterness in his voice. "I'm perfectly fine," he repeated and stormed away. He didn't know where he was going. Didn't care. All he knew was that he had to be away from Joelle. He thought about heading home. He needed to be alone. Then he saw Ice out of the corner of his eye and changed his mind. The guy who had stole the girl he loved had to pay.

"Ice!" he shouted as he wandered up to the oblivious figure standing watching the football match.

"Hi," Ice said, confused for a minute before realising he'd seen this person before. "Er… Jamie isn't it." Jamie looked at him, contempt in his eyes. As he stood there he realised he had no idea what he was going to do. He wanted to hit him, see him bleed. But the fact was, he wasn't a violent person and however much he wanted to punch him he couldn't bring himself to do it. He realised there were tears trickling down his cheeks. He blushed, embarrassed and left Ice standing there alone, heading once again for home.

Jamie had done something he had promised he wouldn't do again. He was in Rachel's room, sitting on her bed with her diary in his hand. Tears were flowing down onto his face and smudging the ink his sister had written in all those years ago. He had to finish reading.

*Goodbye. Or is it? Will I watch you when I'm gone, watch you from heaven? Is it possible that I might not be let in? Will they keep me out because I'm so weak and pathetic? Maybe I'll be looking up at you on earth and wishing I was there with you. I wish I could stay. But I can't. I'm in hell already and this is the only way I have a chance to get out of it. So I am writing this to you, my brother, in the hope that you will find it and read, and understand. And I wait for the day when it is your time to go and you will join me.*

He had done it. He had finished the diary. That entry was followed by empty pages, a painful reminder of the fact that the hands which had written the diary would never write again. He took a pen from the bedside table and rubbed his hands together before beginning to write on the first blank page in Rachel's diary. It was his time.

"I'm going away," Ice said simply. "I want you to come with me, if you'd like to come that is."

"I thought you said you wanted to stay here?" she said, confused at his sudden change of mind.

"I was kidding myself. I'm used to travelling. I can't stay in one place," he paused. "Will you come with me?"

There was another pause. Joelle pondered in her mind. She'd always wanted to go travelling, even before the virus. Of course it would be different now but sometimes she wished she could be free, without responsibilities. But the problem was, she did have responsibilities. A lot of the younger kids on the estate relied on her for food. Without her, they would starve. But she loved Ice and wanted to go with him. In the end that was all that mattered.

"I'll come with you," she said solemnly. As soon as she saw Ice's reaction, the regret she had in her mind about her decision disappeared. He looked happier than he had ever done before, his eyes glowed and his whole face was just a ray of light.

"When will we leave?" she asked, her eyes never leaving his.

"Tomorrow," he replied. "After you go and apologise to Jamie."

"Apologise?" she was confused. "Apologise for what?"

"I get the feeling he's sitting at home nursing a broken heart. He loves you, in case you haven't noticed."

"Love?" she was astonished. She had never thought about anything more than friendship between them. "Are you sure?"

"The look he gave me when he left the football match told me all I needed to know. You need to make peace with him, or neither of you will be happy."

"That was what he was going to tell me…" she trailed off.

"Tell you?" he prompted.

"At the match, he said he had something to tell me. But I got my news out first," tears began to run down her face.

"News? What news?"

"That I was in love. With you." She looked at him through tearful eyes, and he took her in his arms and held her. She pulled away.

"I have to go and see him. Now." She stood up.

"OK," he said. He didn't try to stop her. "You go and talk to him."

She smiled at him, gave him a swift kiss on the lips and left the room, wiping the tears from her cheeks.