Previously... Ranma found out that he isn't Genma's son, that his REAL father was a half-saiyajin
Hokage flame master, that Mallet-sama is really the legendary One True Mallet that turns the
spouses of those who wield it into pankeiki, and that HE must take it to Mount Dhoom (AKA Fuji) to
destroy it!
-----------------
Now This Is Just Plain Nuts, Chapter 3,
By
Aleh
-----------------
Sailor Pluto had a headache. Actually, she hadn't had one this bad since the time Ran had
set up a teleportation matrix in her bathtub, causing her, and her bathwater, to appear directly
on top of the Emperor of Jurai. THAT was a diplomatic nightmare. In fact, it was almost as bad,
and a hell of a lot more embarrassing, then when he had disappeared the next day.
The biggest cause of her headache was her inability to locate the One True Mallet, not that
the Senshi would be able to do anything about it. It was almost like trying to view Ran, actually.
Ran... There was a subject that Sailor Pluto hadn't thought of in a long time. He truely
lived up to his name; the boy was practically chaos incarnate. It wasn't that he produced any kind
of special chaotic energy; he simply tended to find himself in the strangest situations. Like that
time that he had gone to meet a friend of his in a tavern outside the palace... when Queen
Serenity sent Jupiter to go find him... How a mixture of herbal shampoos could cause someone to
lose their memory, noone in the kingdom was ever certain. Heh, that incident actually led to the
creation of some mind-manipulation technique used by an obscure tribe in China.
Serenity's obstinance about that arrainged marriage had caused quite a fuss, too. In fact,
some later historians had labled it as the cause for the Kingdom's fall. Sailor Pluto knew better,
but Ran's vanishing act had certainly made it worse. Had Ran been present, Queen Serenity wouldn't
have been forced to use the Ginzuishou to send the Senshi into the future, exhausting her life-
force. Ran, given both his ability to use it, and his sheer skill at doing so (neither of which
anyone in the Kingdom could explain, Ran's protestations about it being because someone named
'Crystal' had a crush on him aside), HE could have sent the Senshi AND the Queen into the future
himself, WITHOUT exhausting his own life. In fact, he could have DESTROYED Mettalia while he was
at it!
Pluto shook herself out of her depression. After all, she had more important things to do.
"Now, where is that mallet?" she said, turning to the Time Gates.
-----------------
In Nerima, Ranma sneezed.
-----------------
The next morning at breakfast, Ranma looked around. "Where's Akane?" he asked.
Kasumi smiled. "Nerima General Hospital, Ranma-kun."
Ranma's eyes bugged out. "What happened?"
Nabiki came down the stairs and rubbed her eyes. "She's being treated for mallet-dependency,
Ranma," she said sleepily.
"WHAAATTTTT?!?"
Kagero tapped Ranma on the back.
"Eeeek!" he yelled in surprise. "Oh. It's just you, 'ka-chan," he added when he noticed who
it was.
-----------------
In a hospital, Akane struggled with her straightjacket. "My... precious... Mallet-sama..."
she muttered.
-----------------
"The mallet corrupts those who hold it," Kagero explained. "If we can destroy it, Akane
should get better. She's held it for too long."
"Well, let's get going!" Ranma said, getting up.
"First, I must warn you of the dangers that you will face."
-----------------
When Kagero finished telling about the pankeiki, sweatdrops abounded.
"That..." said Ranma.
"Is..." continued Nabiki.
"One..." added Kasumi.
"God-awful..." stated Soun.
"Pun," finished a panda-sign.
"What are YOU doing here?!?" Kagero spat out.
The next few moments were filled with mindless violence.
-----------------
Upon leaving the house, the group (Ranma, Kagero and Soun -- Nabiki didn't want to run into
one of those 'Pankeiki' things and noone seriously considered bringing Kasumi) encountered Khu
Lon.
"Greetings, muko-dono," she said.
"What do you want, Old Ghoul?" Ranma asked.
*Bonk*
"Whaddya do THAT for?!?"
Khu Lon chuckled. A panda ran by, being chased by a katana-wielding woman in a kimono. An
almost sickeningly cute girl chased after a small pig (who was running for his life), yelling
"Charlotte! Charlotte!"
"Son, is your life ALWAYS like this?"
"Actually, this is pretty tame.
Kagero sweatdropped.
-----------------
"So why are we crawling through the sewers?" Ranma asked.
*Thwak* Ranma got hit on the head by Khu Lon's staff. "Quiet, Muko-dono," she said, "We do
not want to attract the attention of the Flattened Ones."
"I thought that they were called pankeiki!"
"That too."
Ranma sweatdropped. "Oh. So THAT'S why they're called 'pankeiki'."
Kagero facefaulted.
-----------------
A.N.: If anyone hasn't gotten the 'pankeiki' joke/pun, please tell me. I'm curious to see how many
people've figured it out.
A.N.2: I'm cutting this chapter off early, too. Hell, I'm still not where I wanted to be at the
end of Chapter 2! Nonetheless, just consider this one chapter in many pieces. Minor revision to
the reaction to Ranma's latest foot-in-mouth problem...
Hokage flame master, that Mallet-sama is really the legendary One True Mallet that turns the
spouses of those who wield it into pankeiki, and that HE must take it to Mount Dhoom (AKA Fuji) to
destroy it!
-----------------
Now This Is Just Plain Nuts, Chapter 3,
By
Aleh
-----------------
Sailor Pluto had a headache. Actually, she hadn't had one this bad since the time Ran had
set up a teleportation matrix in her bathtub, causing her, and her bathwater, to appear directly
on top of the Emperor of Jurai. THAT was a diplomatic nightmare. In fact, it was almost as bad,
and a hell of a lot more embarrassing, then when he had disappeared the next day.
The biggest cause of her headache was her inability to locate the One True Mallet, not that
the Senshi would be able to do anything about it. It was almost like trying to view Ran, actually.
Ran... There was a subject that Sailor Pluto hadn't thought of in a long time. He truely
lived up to his name; the boy was practically chaos incarnate. It wasn't that he produced any kind
of special chaotic energy; he simply tended to find himself in the strangest situations. Like that
time that he had gone to meet a friend of his in a tavern outside the palace... when Queen
Serenity sent Jupiter to go find him... How a mixture of herbal shampoos could cause someone to
lose their memory, noone in the kingdom was ever certain. Heh, that incident actually led to the
creation of some mind-manipulation technique used by an obscure tribe in China.
Serenity's obstinance about that arrainged marriage had caused quite a fuss, too. In fact,
some later historians had labled it as the cause for the Kingdom's fall. Sailor Pluto knew better,
but Ran's vanishing act had certainly made it worse. Had Ran been present, Queen Serenity wouldn't
have been forced to use the Ginzuishou to send the Senshi into the future, exhausting her life-
force. Ran, given both his ability to use it, and his sheer skill at doing so (neither of which
anyone in the Kingdom could explain, Ran's protestations about it being because someone named
'Crystal' had a crush on him aside), HE could have sent the Senshi AND the Queen into the future
himself, WITHOUT exhausting his own life. In fact, he could have DESTROYED Mettalia while he was
at it!
Pluto shook herself out of her depression. After all, she had more important things to do.
"Now, where is that mallet?" she said, turning to the Time Gates.
-----------------
In Nerima, Ranma sneezed.
-----------------
The next morning at breakfast, Ranma looked around. "Where's Akane?" he asked.
Kasumi smiled. "Nerima General Hospital, Ranma-kun."
Ranma's eyes bugged out. "What happened?"
Nabiki came down the stairs and rubbed her eyes. "She's being treated for mallet-dependency,
Ranma," she said sleepily.
"WHAAATTTTT?!?"
Kagero tapped Ranma on the back.
"Eeeek!" he yelled in surprise. "Oh. It's just you, 'ka-chan," he added when he noticed who
it was.
-----------------
In a hospital, Akane struggled with her straightjacket. "My... precious... Mallet-sama..."
she muttered.
-----------------
"The mallet corrupts those who hold it," Kagero explained. "If we can destroy it, Akane
should get better. She's held it for too long."
"Well, let's get going!" Ranma said, getting up.
"First, I must warn you of the dangers that you will face."
-----------------
When Kagero finished telling about the pankeiki, sweatdrops abounded.
"That..." said Ranma.
"Is..." continued Nabiki.
"One..." added Kasumi.
"God-awful..." stated Soun.
"Pun," finished a panda-sign.
"What are YOU doing here?!?" Kagero spat out.
The next few moments were filled with mindless violence.
-----------------
Upon leaving the house, the group (Ranma, Kagero and Soun -- Nabiki didn't want to run into
one of those 'Pankeiki' things and noone seriously considered bringing Kasumi) encountered Khu
Lon.
"Greetings, muko-dono," she said.
"What do you want, Old Ghoul?" Ranma asked.
*Bonk*
"Whaddya do THAT for?!?"
Khu Lon chuckled. A panda ran by, being chased by a katana-wielding woman in a kimono. An
almost sickeningly cute girl chased after a small pig (who was running for his life), yelling
"Charlotte! Charlotte!"
"Son, is your life ALWAYS like this?"
"Actually, this is pretty tame.
Kagero sweatdropped.
-----------------
"So why are we crawling through the sewers?" Ranma asked.
*Thwak* Ranma got hit on the head by Khu Lon's staff. "Quiet, Muko-dono," she said, "We do
not want to attract the attention of the Flattened Ones."
"I thought that they were called pankeiki!"
"That too."
Ranma sweatdropped. "Oh. So THAT'S why they're called 'pankeiki'."
Kagero facefaulted.
-----------------
A.N.: If anyone hasn't gotten the 'pankeiki' joke/pun, please tell me. I'm curious to see how many
people've figured it out.
A.N.2: I'm cutting this chapter off early, too. Hell, I'm still not where I wanted to be at the
end of Chapter 2! Nonetheless, just consider this one chapter in many pieces. Minor revision to
the reaction to Ranma's latest foot-in-mouth problem...