Legal: I only own Kanpeki, Striker owns himself.
R: for language and sexuality violence.
Chapter 3: Kanpeki is fucked up.
(In the Outlaw Star world)
Kanpeki: "whoa this place is cool. Hey it's Harry McDougall"
Striker runs up to Harry: "YOU STUPID PSYCOBITCH! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD! MELTHINA DOESN'T LOVE YOU! And that vest is soooo ten century's ago"
Harry: "what? Of course Melthina love's me. And it's a fashion statement."
Striker: "Oh shit." Grabs everybody but Kanpeki and runs.
Harry looks over at Kanpeki "What are you looking at?"
Kanpeki: "Let's see...... a freak?"
Harry: "That's it!" Runs off and returns in his ship (Just bear with me, please. I know it can't be in atmosphere but it's for the story.......Fine, don't......bastards.....please don't stop, we need our fans.) "You're paying for that."
Kanpeki: "What's the word I'm looking for? Aaaaah yes. SSSHHHHHIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!" Runs and catches up tp the rest.
Striker: "You just HAD to piss him off huh?."
Kanpeki: "Weeelllll eeeexxxxcccuuuuuussseee me."
Harry begins shooting at the group, a shot grazes Striker's arm.
Striker: "Shit, Shit, Shit, Fuck." Pulls out a blaster and shoots back. Unfortunately it has no visible effects.
Harry stops shooting but the cannon begins absorbing energy.
Kanpeki: "Aaaah crap looks like it's charging up."
Striker: "How do you know?"
Kanpeki: "Do you KNOW how MANY megaman games I've PLAYED?!"
Striker: "I'll take your word for it."
Kanpeki: "Well we're scre.... wait I've got an idea. Run ahead all of you!"
Striker: "Whatever." Striker and the group run ahead while Kanpeki skids to a halt.
Harry begins to blast at Kanpeki. Kanpeki's hand blocks each shot. Harry finally releases the charge and a bright flash hits Kanpeki.
Kanpeki's eyes begin glowing. "The light shall bring you to your knees, evil one." Kanpeki jumps up punches the hull of the ship, rips a hole in it and jumps through it, entering the ship. A few moments later, he ship explodes and blasts Kanpeki away.
Kanpeki lands next to Striker, unconscious.
Kanpeki: Ow, sonuva
Striker: Remind me never to shoot him with a laser.
"Wake up Kanpeki. You must wake."
Kanpeki: "Who? Who's there?"
"I am Cherie. An ancient, like you."
Kanpeki: "An ancient? What the hell?"
"Guide my child. Please.... guide her....."
"Hey Kanpeki WAKE UP!"
Kanpeki: "Huh Cherie?" Opens his eyes. "AAAAAHHHH!"
Striker laughs and pulls off his monster mask.
Kanpeki: "Bitch." smacks Striker with a hammer.
Striker rubs his head.
Striker: "Aaaah shit, that hurt."
Kanpeki: "Serves you damn right." Gets out of bed. "Shit. Where are my damn clothes?"
Ruby gasps.
Striker: "Didn't need to see that"
Kanpeki picks up his clothes and puts them on.
[Kanpeki equips- clothing. Defense up 3]
Kanpeki: "Damnit! Who the hell is doing that. I swear I'm killing you.
[Kanpeki loses 99% of intelligence points.]
Kanpeki: "Jokes on you. I only had 4 to begin with."
Kanpeki: "Where are we?"
Striker: "Starwind and Hawking enterprises."
Aisha pokes her head in through the door.
Aisha: "So is he awake yet.?"
Kanpeki: Yeah I'm fine. Say you're cute
Aisha: ummmm, thanks.
Kanpeki is suddenly poking Aisha all over.
Kanpeki: Say, what are you? What sexual organs do you have? Are you female? Are you a monster? Where do you live? What kind of atmosphere are you natural in? What's you r bust size? Wh
Aisha gets pissed and rips Kanpeki's head off.
Kanpeki: GEEZUS, THAT FUCKING HURTS! Would you mind putting my head back on?
Aisha stares at Kanpeki. Eyes twitching.
Kanpeki: Hello, please? Now?
Aisha: mrowww?
Aisha puts Kanpeki's head back on his body which is running around.
Ruby who just came in early enough to see Kanpeki running around like a chicken: How is that possible?
Striker: He's unable to understand the concept of pain.
Kanpeki: not to mention I have LOADS of HP.
Ruby: So he's to stupid to die.
Striker: Well........
Kanpeki: I'm just gonna go for a walk.
Kanpeki see's Melthina walking with groceries. He runs up to her and starts waving his arms.
Kanpeki: gahaggah.
Gene see's Kanpeki Holy shit. Is that kid another Pirate?
Melthina: Oh hello. Who are you?
Gene pulls out a gun and shoots at Kanpeki with it. Kanpeki gets blasted into a steel container. Once he falls down, the dent is noticed.
Kanpeki: THAT HURT! No really that HURT! You think a brick wall hurts, try steel. AAAAAAH.
Gene: What in hell?
Striker: He's too stupid to feel pain.
Gene: I...........see......
Kanpeki: PORTAL HO!
Kanpeki runs into a wall next to the portal. Shakes his head and runs into the portal this time.
Striker: Okay, I guess we're done here.
Suzuka: Please wait. I wish to accompany you.
Striker: Why?
Suzuka: You interest me.
Striker: Okay. How about you Aisha, you in?
Aisha: Why should I?
Striker: Food, fun, we get to kill stuff.
Aisha's ears perk up: OKAY.
On the other side, Kanpeki is playing a flute.
Striker: hey that's pretty good.
Kanpeki: Not really
Kanpeki reveals a cd player.
Everyone but Suzuka, Luccia, and Kanpeki collapse
A girl's scream is heard.
Kanpeki: Gotta go.
Kanpeki runs off.
Myao: You better hand over that Inotium or you're in trouble meow.
Kitty's: Punishment meow. Punishment meow.
Kururu: I think we should listen to her.
Cornet: No way, Bravery is facing up to a challenge even if you know you can't win.
Kururu: That's NOT bravery. That's RETARDATION!
Myao: That's it. You're in trouble now. Dragon, come to me.
A small hole appears in space and a young dragon appears through it.
Myao: ATTACK
The dragon breathes in deeply.
Cornet: Oh-no
Kururu: We're doomed, we're doomed, we're doomed, we're doomed, we're doomed.
The dragon breathes out a jet of flame. Kanpeki jumps out in front and get's blasted by the flame. Kanpeki shakes it off and punches the dragon into the sky.
Kanpeki: Got anything else?
Myao: No, I'm afraid not.
Kanpeki grips his hand: Good, because that HURT!
The dragon falls on top of Kanpeki's head, knocking him unconscious.
Kanpeki: Oww. THAT hurt.
Wake up
Kanpeki: Huh? Where am I
The end of time
Kanpeki: But isn't the beginning also the end?
SHUTUP! First, it's Chrono-Trigger, second, YOU'RE AN IDIOT and I'm taking your powers.
Kanpeki: My power's?
Yes.
Kanpeki: I have power's?
YES! And I'm taking them.
Kanpeki: Why?
You abused them
Kanpeki: Oh, my powers?
YES!
Kanpeki: I have powers?
YES!
Kanpeki: And you're taking them because you abused them.
NO! YOU ABUSED THEM!
Kanpeki: Oh, I abused my powers right?
................To hell, keep them, I have better things to do than argue with imbeciles.
Kanpeki awoke and groaned out: mrnatckare, La Blue Girl, owie.
Striker: When'd you get La Blue Girl?
Kanpeki mutters: You're a bitch, anaigoditamonthego
Striker: huh?
Kanpeki: I GOT IT A MONTH AGO! And it's pretty good. Silly, extremely silly, but it's still good.
Cornet: What's La Blue Girl?
Kanpeki: Something....... that I REALLY Should NOT be watching.
Luccia: Like a military weapons video?
Kanpeki:............No........... like a tentacle porn DVD.
Striker: Ew, what do you want that for?
Kanpeki: I don't know? Same reason I want this?
Kanpeki pulls out a sword 3 times his size.
Kanpeki: Only about a half of it is tentacle porn, the other is either sex, rape, or masturbation.
Kanpeki put away his sword.
Kanpeki: In episode four, a girl masturbates with a sword.
Striker: Are we gonna spend the hole chapter talking about a porno?
Kanpeki oh right. Okay, onward.
(Twisted minds incorporated is sorry for any disturbing images that we have placed in your head.
Striker: Of course it's all Kanpeki's fault.
Kanpeki: Yes, I suppose it is........Wait, stop blaming everything on me.
Striker: Hey, YOU got the DVD, watched it, wrote the story, I take no responsibility.
Kanpeki: bitch.
Kanpeki attacks Striker)
Ruby sighs: Well since Kanpeki is especially violent today, we're ending the chapter here.
Hiro: wasn't I supposed to have duties?
Ruby: Shutup and kiss me Hiro.
Hiro: Yaaaaaah
Hiro runs off with Ruby chasing after him.
Next Chapter_ Hot, hot, hot springs.
Preview:
Kanpeki: Hot springs!
Kanpeki run into a wall, turns, runs into the door, opens the door and runs in.