1 The Silence of Saltine
Duo: The stillness was like that after a really great routine performed by incredibly skilled male cheerleaders; right before the applause starts.
Heather: Not really, Duo. Besides, I don't think you qualify as a very good judge of silence.
Joanna: Good point, Heater.
Heather: I know, and there's more where that came from.
Duo: I'll have to ask Trowa about that one… Wait! What do you mean I don't "qualify as a very good judge of silence"?!
Heather: Well…have you ever listened to yourself?!
Duo: I'll have you know, I won first place at the 23rd annual "Judging of Silence" contest! So there! Up for a game of Bridge Heero?"
Heero: Sorry, I have plans.
Heather: I thought you were taking a break form saving the world.
Heero: I am. I have to clean the fishtank.
Joanna: You have a fish, Sweetie?
Quatre: Not anymore. Duo ate him.
Duo: *mumbles* Thanks, Quatre.
Quarter: Anytime!
Heero: Whoa! Back the Titanic up! You ate MY fish?!
Duo: It was only a goldfish cracker, Spandex Boy!!
Wufei: You're one to talk!! What kind of hero watches male cheerleading?!
Duo: I am a hero…ine.
Heather: You insult the female race!
Wufei: Uno momento Toots! You're a hero's bitch!
Heather: Oh yeah! Then what does that make Ash?!
Trowa: Wufei, don't speak to Heather in that tone of voice!
Wufei: What are you gonna do about it Rubber Nose?! Decapitate me with your hair?! Or will it be Death by Green Beans?!
Trowa: My sock puppet, if you must know!
Duo: Them's fightin' words! You gonna take that, Wufei?!
Wufei: *shaking head* Duo…
Duo: Yes, JellyBean?!
Heero: Duo, how could you eat my fish?! He meant a lot to me! Saltine was my best friend.
Joanna: You named your fish Saltine?!
Heero: Duh!! Saltine the Cracker Fish. My creativity was limited. I was trying to play Donkey Kong at the same time.
Duo: Trying?!
Heero: CAN IT, BRAID BOY!!!
Quatre: So you see, Duo, at least Heero has an explanation!
Duo: Always on my side, aren't you Quatre?
Quatre: Behind you 132%! You fall down, I'm the one who picks you up. After laughing about it, of course.
Joanna: All I can see is a bunch of people who won't let me finish my letter to Ash.
Heather: Why didn't you tell us you were writing Ash?
Joanna: Because, Heather, you guys say the darndest things! It's like a Kodak moment 24/7! Who am I to spoil the moments by forcing you guys to censor your wordage? Not to mention the fact that Ash never believes me when I try to convince her that Wufei is having an affair with his jelly beans on the side!
Wufei: Good point, Joanna!
Joanna: I know, and there's more where that came from!
Duo: I'll have to ask Heero about that one.
Heero: *near tears* What about Saltine? Doesn't anybody care about my dear, departed fish?
Wufei: It was just a cracker Hero! Suck it up, and move on! There are other fish in the sea, other crackers in the box!
Heero: Shut your cake hole, JellyBean!
Duo: Hey! That's MY nickname for him!
Trowa: Heero, if it'll make you feel better, I'll get you a whole box of crackers for Christmas.
Heero: *brightens* You would do that for me?!
Trowa: Yeah…I guess. Just keep them out of reach of the Duo!
Duo: Oh! Go to Australia Rubber Nose!
Trowa: "Rubber Nose" me again, and I'll pop you a good one, Braid Boy!
Heather: Guys! Stop it!
Joanna: You are acting like children…with P.M.S!
Duo: How dare you accuse the God of Death of having P.M.S! My time of the month isn't for another two weeks!
Wufei: Ugh! Shove it, Duo!
Duo: You pick the time, and the place, and I can shove anything you want Dragon Boy!
Joanna: What would Ash say?
Heather: Probably nothing. She would simply slaughter Duo.
*All fall silent, Duo and Wufei glare at each other*
Joanna: Shall we depart Heather?
Heather: Right behind ya, Jo!
*Fighting starts again as soon as the door slams behind them*
Duo: The stillness was like that after a really great routine performed by incredibly skilled male cheerleaders; right before the applause starts.
Heather: Not really, Duo. Besides, I don't think you qualify as a very good judge of silence.
Joanna: Good point, Heater.
Heather: I know, and there's more where that came from.
Duo: I'll have to ask Trowa about that one… Wait! What do you mean I don't "qualify as a very good judge of silence"?!
Heather: Well…have you ever listened to yourself?!
Duo: I'll have you know, I won first place at the 23rd annual "Judging of Silence" contest! So there! Up for a game of Bridge Heero?"
Heero: Sorry, I have plans.
Heather: I thought you were taking a break form saving the world.
Heero: I am. I have to clean the fishtank.
Joanna: You have a fish, Sweetie?
Quatre: Not anymore. Duo ate him.
Duo: *mumbles* Thanks, Quatre.
Quarter: Anytime!
Heero: Whoa! Back the Titanic up! You ate MY fish?!
Duo: It was only a goldfish cracker, Spandex Boy!!
Wufei: You're one to talk!! What kind of hero watches male cheerleading?!
Duo: I am a hero…ine.
Heather: You insult the female race!
Wufei: Uno momento Toots! You're a hero's bitch!
Heather: Oh yeah! Then what does that make Ash?!
Trowa: Wufei, don't speak to Heather in that tone of voice!
Wufei: What are you gonna do about it Rubber Nose?! Decapitate me with your hair?! Or will it be Death by Green Beans?!
Trowa: My sock puppet, if you must know!
Duo: Them's fightin' words! You gonna take that, Wufei?!
Wufei: *shaking head* Duo…
Duo: Yes, JellyBean?!
Heero: Duo, how could you eat my fish?! He meant a lot to me! Saltine was my best friend.
Joanna: You named your fish Saltine?!
Heero: Duh!! Saltine the Cracker Fish. My creativity was limited. I was trying to play Donkey Kong at the same time.
Duo: Trying?!
Heero: CAN IT, BRAID BOY!!!
Quatre: So you see, Duo, at least Heero has an explanation!
Duo: Always on my side, aren't you Quatre?
Quatre: Behind you 132%! You fall down, I'm the one who picks you up. After laughing about it, of course.
Joanna: All I can see is a bunch of people who won't let me finish my letter to Ash.
Heather: Why didn't you tell us you were writing Ash?
Joanna: Because, Heather, you guys say the darndest things! It's like a Kodak moment 24/7! Who am I to spoil the moments by forcing you guys to censor your wordage? Not to mention the fact that Ash never believes me when I try to convince her that Wufei is having an affair with his jelly beans on the side!
Wufei: Good point, Joanna!
Joanna: I know, and there's more where that came from!
Duo: I'll have to ask Heero about that one.
Heero: *near tears* What about Saltine? Doesn't anybody care about my dear, departed fish?
Wufei: It was just a cracker Hero! Suck it up, and move on! There are other fish in the sea, other crackers in the box!
Heero: Shut your cake hole, JellyBean!
Duo: Hey! That's MY nickname for him!
Trowa: Heero, if it'll make you feel better, I'll get you a whole box of crackers for Christmas.
Heero: *brightens* You would do that for me?!
Trowa: Yeah…I guess. Just keep them out of reach of the Duo!
Duo: Oh! Go to Australia Rubber Nose!
Trowa: "Rubber Nose" me again, and I'll pop you a good one, Braid Boy!
Heather: Guys! Stop it!
Joanna: You are acting like children…with P.M.S!
Duo: How dare you accuse the God of Death of having P.M.S! My time of the month isn't for another two weeks!
Wufei: Ugh! Shove it, Duo!
Duo: You pick the time, and the place, and I can shove anything you want Dragon Boy!
Joanna: What would Ash say?
Heather: Probably nothing. She would simply slaughter Duo.
*All fall silent, Duo and Wufei glare at each other*
Joanna: Shall we depart Heather?
Heather: Right behind ya, Jo!
*Fighting starts again as soon as the door slams behind them*