Differnt Forms - pt.11
****
Author's note: Here we go... chapter 11
****
"If the heart of a man can become a shield for his beloved, that alone is enough."
~*~
The water swallowed them, pulling the two girls under. Whether or not it acted as a cushion, I wouldn't know. As far as I'm concerned, I dove in after them, dragged them out and there were ambulances waiting. I didn't even get a chance to really compute the situation. My throat is raw from the scream... I think I attracted attention, which is good... right?
I stare at the white floor of the hospital... it's as white as the white walls... hey, at least the chairs are a nice brown. My foot is tapping against the ground uncomfortably... where is Kenshou's father? He was supposed to be here... and Chishiki... doesn't she have any family? I hate being alone, it gets me all jittery...
WHERE IS THAT DOCTOR??
No... no.. I'm calm... I'll just wait right? She's not gonna die... I hope not at least... was there blood? I look at myself. No.. no blood.
I look again, maybe I missed a spot...
No, no blood... but my hair is messy from the water. Damn, do I look wet and gross.
I pull the towel around me. I'm getting cold.
"Sir?"
I jump to my feet. They have to be talking to me! I'm the only one here! "Yeah!?" I cry. Maybe I'm too eager?
The doctor, a really big man with dark hair. He looks nice, I suppose, he has a kind of low and gentle voice. I feel like I can trust Kenshou in his hands. "Sir, were you the one who came here with Kenshou and Chishiki?"
I nod. Good, he read the information I had to fill out. I feel stupid though... that I couldn't answer any questions about Chishiki.
"Well, I'll have you know your friend is quite awake. She swallowed a bit of water and suffered a bump to the head, but she's good." The doctor looks down at his clipboard, nodding. "Yes, and the other one is still unconsious. I believe it's more an emotional wound, vs. physical."
"Personally I don't care about her," I snap.
The doctor looks at me suspiciously. I gulp. "Well," I stutter, "I mean... I don't really know her!"
"Quite understandable. Now tell me... do you know what happened?"
I think back, trying to peice together everything that happened up until now. "Well, I remember Kenshou was driving back-"
~*~
I've never had so many questions asked me before in my life. The doctor kept trying to drill details from me, how Kenshou ran, what floor Chishiki was on, what time was it, was the pool cold, blah blah blah. Like I remember any of that? And what's worse he says I can't see her for another hour... AN HOUR!
Tick tick tick tick...
FUCK THE DAMN CLOCK!! I shake my fist angerily at it. Seems it only makes it louder.
And where IS Kenshou's father?
Breathe Kouji... breathe!!
I breathe... sure... it's easy right? So why am I getting light headed...?
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gasp for breath realizing I wasn't breathing. Okay, so maybe breathing isn't that easy.
Hold on a sec... why am I worried? That doctor said Kenshou's doing just fine. She's just adjusting from the shock, which is why I can't see her yet.
It's just like my cousin... fuck! Now I know why I'm all jittery. I remember when we got the news from the penitentiary, that he had been stabbed by a knife. A fuckin' knife... a fatal wound too. They said they were gonna try to save him. He died 10 minutes later. Never in my life did I want SO much to kill someone. However, I remembered why he went to jail, so when I went to his funeral, I tried to look for his fiancee.
They told me she wasn't there. It was like some mental issue, having lost the two people closest to her. I don't blame her, I almost jumped in after his coffin was lowered into the grave! He was my BEST friend! My fuckin' BEST friend! That's why... that's why I don't want to lose her.
~*~
"KENSHOU!!" I cry, and practically glomp her. She's laughing, which is a good sign, if any. "Damn girl, are ya'lright?"
"I'm just fine," she replies. "My head hurts some, but aside from that, I'm good!" I see her father standing in the corner, his arms across his chest. I know he never liked me much, and this wasn't exactly getting me on his good side.
"Kouji?"
"Hmm?"
"You-- you don't know how Chishiki's doing... do ya?" Kenshou asks, her face suddenly dark with worry.
I sigh, and relay the information back to her. "Apparently she's unconcious... the doctor says it's prolly a mental thing.. seein' as she was tryin' ta commit suicide."
Kenshou sniffles, and rubs at her eyes. I know she's trying not to try, and she's also trying not to show me. "Why would she do such a thing?" she sobs, covering both her eyes. I guess she's given up trying to stop the tears.
I want to hold her, really I do. I want to tell her that everything is going to be alright.. and I want to tell her how I feel. However, as I watch her cry over a girl I barely know, I girl... I hate... I decide... my feelings are best unspoken. I stroke her hair... I think... I love you... but I don't say it. Instead I say, "She's gonna be fine Kenshou! My bets are... she's as strong as you, maybe stronger! Who knows what kinds of things she's gone through! That might be why she tried to commit suicide! Still, I think..."
"I TOLD HER I LOVED HER!!" Kenshou cries, pulling away from me.
I back off, a hand held to my chest. The words struck me harder than anything I'd ever felt. I feel my bottom lip tremble. NO! I won't cry! Suddenly, I see Soen... where'd he come from?
He touches his sister. He's always been pale, no... he's always been white. From the pinkish-white skin, to the silvery-white hair... Soen... was the silent albino. Far as I can tell, he's never been close to anyone, especially his sister. He also doesn't talk. I stare at him, the contrast of the dark sunglasses to his skin is almost frightening. I hear him speak, his voice is hushed from years of silence, but somehow... it seems smooth like velvet too.
"Kenshou," he says, "if Shin was here he'd say... your love was more precious than anything. Your friend wouldn't kill herself for that."
She looks at her brother. Obviously she's wondering why he's talking to her with such kindess. I notice that mention of her eldest brother got her attention at least. "S-s-soen...?"
"You see... you're special to him, but he's not here... when you really need him. But I know... I know he'd say that," Soen adds, and brushes his pale lips against his sister's forehead... a gesture I've only seen Shin do. "As for me, I'd say that you need to be a strong leader."
She mouths something silently... and then I hear her say, "Hakurou..."
Soen seems to smile, and he turns to leave, his long black trench coat sweeping the ground. He breezes past me. I swear I hear him say, "You always got to back her up, no matter what." I look back at Kenshou, who seems to be considering things. Her brow is furrowed in concentration, her fingers clutching the white hospital sheets.
I watch her for a moment, she doesn't move, save for the soft rise and fall of her chest as she breathes. I keep watching, and finally I change my desicion, sure I can't tell her I love her... but... I can protect her- just as I have been doing so for the past 10 years. I'll stay her best friend! Everyone needs a lover... and a friend.
"Kouji," she whispers.
I run to her side, and hold her hand. "What does the symbol on my arm mean?" she asks.
"Symbol?" I stare at her for a moment. What is trying to tell me?
Kenshou rolls up the sleeve of her right arm, and there I see it... it's like a silvery scar on her arm. I've never noticed it before, so I touch it. It sends a jolt of heat through my body. I shiver in fear.
"What does that say?" she asks me again.
I stare at the "scar" for a few minutes. Then I see it. It's not just anything... it's kanji... "Yoku," I tell her- Wing.
"Wing..." she repeats. Then, she smiles and pushes her sleeve back down. "Thank you Kouji," she says, her voice grateful.
~*~
I don't want to go back! Why aren't I dead!? I'm supposed to be with Hikou.. and Kouran! This is... this is worse than any other feeling in the world!
~Houjun...~
~Houjun!~
Two voices... so familar... yet... not. And the name... that was me, right?
~Houjun!~
They're calling me...! I see.. two silohouettes in the shadows... Hikou? Kouran!?
****
Author's note: Here we go... chapter 11
****
"If the heart of a man can become a shield for his beloved, that alone is enough."
~*~
The water swallowed them, pulling the two girls under. Whether or not it acted as a cushion, I wouldn't know. As far as I'm concerned, I dove in after them, dragged them out and there were ambulances waiting. I didn't even get a chance to really compute the situation. My throat is raw from the scream... I think I attracted attention, which is good... right?
I stare at the white floor of the hospital... it's as white as the white walls... hey, at least the chairs are a nice brown. My foot is tapping against the ground uncomfortably... where is Kenshou's father? He was supposed to be here... and Chishiki... doesn't she have any family? I hate being alone, it gets me all jittery...
WHERE IS THAT DOCTOR??
No... no.. I'm calm... I'll just wait right? She's not gonna die... I hope not at least... was there blood? I look at myself. No.. no blood.
I look again, maybe I missed a spot...
No, no blood... but my hair is messy from the water. Damn, do I look wet and gross.
I pull the towel around me. I'm getting cold.
"Sir?"
I jump to my feet. They have to be talking to me! I'm the only one here! "Yeah!?" I cry. Maybe I'm too eager?
The doctor, a really big man with dark hair. He looks nice, I suppose, he has a kind of low and gentle voice. I feel like I can trust Kenshou in his hands. "Sir, were you the one who came here with Kenshou and Chishiki?"
I nod. Good, he read the information I had to fill out. I feel stupid though... that I couldn't answer any questions about Chishiki.
"Well, I'll have you know your friend is quite awake. She swallowed a bit of water and suffered a bump to the head, but she's good." The doctor looks down at his clipboard, nodding. "Yes, and the other one is still unconsious. I believe it's more an emotional wound, vs. physical."
"Personally I don't care about her," I snap.
The doctor looks at me suspiciously. I gulp. "Well," I stutter, "I mean... I don't really know her!"
"Quite understandable. Now tell me... do you know what happened?"
I think back, trying to peice together everything that happened up until now. "Well, I remember Kenshou was driving back-"
~*~
I've never had so many questions asked me before in my life. The doctor kept trying to drill details from me, how Kenshou ran, what floor Chishiki was on, what time was it, was the pool cold, blah blah blah. Like I remember any of that? And what's worse he says I can't see her for another hour... AN HOUR!
Tick tick tick tick...
FUCK THE DAMN CLOCK!! I shake my fist angerily at it. Seems it only makes it louder.
And where IS Kenshou's father?
Breathe Kouji... breathe!!
I breathe... sure... it's easy right? So why am I getting light headed...?
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gasp for breath realizing I wasn't breathing. Okay, so maybe breathing isn't that easy.
Hold on a sec... why am I worried? That doctor said Kenshou's doing just fine. She's just adjusting from the shock, which is why I can't see her yet.
It's just like my cousin... fuck! Now I know why I'm all jittery. I remember when we got the news from the penitentiary, that he had been stabbed by a knife. A fuckin' knife... a fatal wound too. They said they were gonna try to save him. He died 10 minutes later. Never in my life did I want SO much to kill someone. However, I remembered why he went to jail, so when I went to his funeral, I tried to look for his fiancee.
They told me she wasn't there. It was like some mental issue, having lost the two people closest to her. I don't blame her, I almost jumped in after his coffin was lowered into the grave! He was my BEST friend! My fuckin' BEST friend! That's why... that's why I don't want to lose her.
~*~
"KENSHOU!!" I cry, and practically glomp her. She's laughing, which is a good sign, if any. "Damn girl, are ya'lright?"
"I'm just fine," she replies. "My head hurts some, but aside from that, I'm good!" I see her father standing in the corner, his arms across his chest. I know he never liked me much, and this wasn't exactly getting me on his good side.
"Kouji?"
"Hmm?"
"You-- you don't know how Chishiki's doing... do ya?" Kenshou asks, her face suddenly dark with worry.
I sigh, and relay the information back to her. "Apparently she's unconcious... the doctor says it's prolly a mental thing.. seein' as she was tryin' ta commit suicide."
Kenshou sniffles, and rubs at her eyes. I know she's trying not to try, and she's also trying not to show me. "Why would she do such a thing?" she sobs, covering both her eyes. I guess she's given up trying to stop the tears.
I want to hold her, really I do. I want to tell her that everything is going to be alright.. and I want to tell her how I feel. However, as I watch her cry over a girl I barely know, I girl... I hate... I decide... my feelings are best unspoken. I stroke her hair... I think... I love you... but I don't say it. Instead I say, "She's gonna be fine Kenshou! My bets are... she's as strong as you, maybe stronger! Who knows what kinds of things she's gone through! That might be why she tried to commit suicide! Still, I think..."
"I TOLD HER I LOVED HER!!" Kenshou cries, pulling away from me.
I back off, a hand held to my chest. The words struck me harder than anything I'd ever felt. I feel my bottom lip tremble. NO! I won't cry! Suddenly, I see Soen... where'd he come from?
He touches his sister. He's always been pale, no... he's always been white. From the pinkish-white skin, to the silvery-white hair... Soen... was the silent albino. Far as I can tell, he's never been close to anyone, especially his sister. He also doesn't talk. I stare at him, the contrast of the dark sunglasses to his skin is almost frightening. I hear him speak, his voice is hushed from years of silence, but somehow... it seems smooth like velvet too.
"Kenshou," he says, "if Shin was here he'd say... your love was more precious than anything. Your friend wouldn't kill herself for that."
She looks at her brother. Obviously she's wondering why he's talking to her with such kindess. I notice that mention of her eldest brother got her attention at least. "S-s-soen...?"
"You see... you're special to him, but he's not here... when you really need him. But I know... I know he'd say that," Soen adds, and brushes his pale lips against his sister's forehead... a gesture I've only seen Shin do. "As for me, I'd say that you need to be a strong leader."
She mouths something silently... and then I hear her say, "Hakurou..."
Soen seems to smile, and he turns to leave, his long black trench coat sweeping the ground. He breezes past me. I swear I hear him say, "You always got to back her up, no matter what." I look back at Kenshou, who seems to be considering things. Her brow is furrowed in concentration, her fingers clutching the white hospital sheets.
I watch her for a moment, she doesn't move, save for the soft rise and fall of her chest as she breathes. I keep watching, and finally I change my desicion, sure I can't tell her I love her... but... I can protect her- just as I have been doing so for the past 10 years. I'll stay her best friend! Everyone needs a lover... and a friend.
"Kouji," she whispers.
I run to her side, and hold her hand. "What does the symbol on my arm mean?" she asks.
"Symbol?" I stare at her for a moment. What is trying to tell me?
Kenshou rolls up the sleeve of her right arm, and there I see it... it's like a silvery scar on her arm. I've never noticed it before, so I touch it. It sends a jolt of heat through my body. I shiver in fear.
"What does that say?" she asks me again.
I stare at the "scar" for a few minutes. Then I see it. It's not just anything... it's kanji... "Yoku," I tell her- Wing.
"Wing..." she repeats. Then, she smiles and pushes her sleeve back down. "Thank you Kouji," she says, her voice grateful.
~*~
I don't want to go back! Why aren't I dead!? I'm supposed to be with Hikou.. and Kouran! This is... this is worse than any other feeling in the world!
~Houjun...~
~Houjun!~
Two voices... so familar... yet... not. And the name... that was me, right?
~Houjun!~
They're calling me...! I see.. two silohouettes in the shadows... Hikou? Kouran!?