Differnt Forms - pt.12
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Author's note: Here we go... chapter 12
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"Whenever I see your tears, I can't stand it. It makes me want to hold you close from behind."
~*~
Kenshou hovered over Chishiki's bed, her hand held tightly to the unresponsive one's. She caressed her cheek lovingly and whispered, "C'mon Chichiri... don't leave me now... not now... not after I remember everything." She fought back tears and shook her fist.
"Miss Kenshou, you really should be returning home now. Visiting hours are almost over," The doctor annouced.
"Can't... can't I stay?"
The doctor sighed, but it did nothing to change his kind and gentle expression. "You're not family I'm af--"
Kouji stuck his head into the room. "Chishiki Teijina... doesn't have any more family," he said quietly. "Dr. Iyaku... if there was one kind bone in yer body, ya'd let Kenshou stay here. She's all this girl's got."
The doctor sighed heavily, obviously weighing the situation. "Alright, Miss Kenshou- you can stay."
She wasn't paying attention, instead she was just sitting by Chishiki, completely dedicated to stay by her side. "I know you're there... c'mon... why don't you just sit up and be yourself again! I remember... you did that once! I tried gettin' Mits to heal you and-" she started babbling.
Iyuka smiled and did a few last minute checks before accompanying Kouji out the door. A blanket of silence was draped over the room. "Ne--ne-- ne Chichiri! Yer gonna wake up any time now, aren't ya??" Kenshou coaxed, grabbing the girl by the shoulders and shaking her rather violently.
The way her limp body moved easily with each shake, gave no indication of her waking up any time soon. Kenshou sat back down in the chair, a hand in her short red hair. "C'mon... c'mon... yer not hurt! The doctor said so himself! Yer just fine! Why don't ya... why don't ya wake up!?"
She pushed back tears, promising herself she wouldn't be weak, wouldn't give into her feelings. Carefully she pushed back Chishiki's bangs, revealing the silvery scar. Softly she kissed it, so gently she could barely feel her under her own lips. She gulped cautiously before travelling downard to caress Chishiki's lips. First with her fingers, then with her lips.
Kenshou jumped backwards, the chair clattering to the floor. "No! This is wrong! What if she doesn't remember? I mean... what if she doesn't care about me...! AHHHH!!!" She cried out suddenly. It hadn't occured to her until now that Chishiki might not remember the past.
The door opened suddenly, a nurse peeking her head in. "Is everything alright in here?" she asked urgently.
"Ahh--- yes! Everything's fine!" Kenshou said, waving her hands in the air.
The nurse raised an eyebrow at this. "Alright... be sure to call us if anything happens to the paitent," she said and closed the door.
The firey haired girl sighed and lay down on the ground. "I'm a fuckin' idiot... thinkin' she'd love me too. It ain't fair... why do I get to remember...?"
~*~
I feel them touch me, soft, gentle... ones I was used to in my last life... ones I was used to in this life. Kouran, she hangs from my neck. She looks just a cute, just as loving as before... but yet... the emotions I see in her ghostly eyes are from another life. She loves me as Houjun, not Chishiki... but yet... aren't I the same person now?
Hikou, Hikou's arms are wrapped around me, around Kouran as well. He's holding both of us. Unlike Kouran... he loves me as Chishiki, not as Houjun... in so many ways, it only makes it more confusing for me. Yet, as they hold me, I feel...
"You don't feel right with us do you?" Kouran asks, whispering into my ear.
How do I reply to something like that?
Hikou pulls away from the embrace, and appears infront of me. I see through his ghostly figure, but his eyes... they're so clear. "Chishiki," he says in his smooth velvety voice, "this... is what it would be like if you had died. Is this what you want?"
"I... I'm... I'm hurting inside," I find myself saying. "I don't want to live... I don't want to die.. I'm..."
"Confused?" Kouran finishes for me.
I sigh, and she passes through me, her ghostly form sliding through my own body, and she appears on my other side. My two dearest friends stand side by side. I peer into Kouran's eyes, she represents my life as Houjun... as a man in the Universe of the Four Gods... as the monk with the smiling mask... Images flicker across my vision, and I see Tasuki. His kind fanged smile grinning at me... the fire of his magic billowing from a tessen... his love.
The images fade away, and once again I see Kouran. She kisses me gently on the lips and whispers, "Remember why you stayed alive before..."
She holds on my hand tightly, just for a brief moment, before vanishing. I reach out for her desperately.... she's gone. Hikou still remains though. He was never very emotional, never very touchy... but his words were always enough for me. He touches my cheek with one ghostly hand. I see no visions, as I did with Kouran, yet... I understand his message. "Chishiki," he murmurs, "turn back now... don't stay here... and like you said... we'll be reunited in heaven... when it's time."
I reach for him, kiss him, desperate for him to hold me one last time. He pulls away. "I love you Chishiki, you know that. I loved Houjun all the same... but you must remember WHY you were reborn. Not to be with us... but to be with--"
I cover his lips with my fingers. "I know," I say, finally understanding why I didn't die the first time I commited suicide... why I didn't die the second... Hikou smiles and holds my hand the same way Kouran did moments earlier. And then he vanishes.
I fall to my knees, holding myself tightly. Tasuki's words resonate in my ears, "I love you Chichiri."
~*~
Kenshou rested her head against the hospital bed, one hand holding on tightly to Chishiki's. "I'm gonna stay right here... for as long as it takes... right here... right..." She yawned and closed her eyes. "Right here..." She trailed off. An arm wrapped around her, warm and comforting.
Sleepily she murmured, "Night Chiri...."
Chishiki's fingers curled around Kenshou's short red hair. "Sleep well Tasuki."
~*~
His life snapped, and his spirit soared free from the earth. Breathing had no meaning to him anymore, and he flew free from his body to the heavens above. His heart wanted to burst from his chest at the thought of seeing the one he loved again. He stopped short, the crest of blue hair so familar. "CHICHIRI!" he cried, running towards him.
The expression on the former monk's face was one of fear and worry. "TASUKI! STOP!" he cried, holding out his hand.
"Ch-chichiri?" Tasuki asked, and suddenly noticed that his lover was preparing to jump from the heavens. "What are ya... what are ya doin?"
"Tasuki! You... you wait here... seven years! It's all settled...! I'm going to be reborn now! You stay here, in the Yin World... just seven years!"
"NO! We're supposed to be together now!"
"We will! But it's all done! I'm ready to go! You just wait...! Seven years...! Then we can be together again!"
"Chi--"
"Tasuki..! Remember! I love you! We're destined to be together! It's all set! I'll see you again!"
Tasuki felt himself crumble. "Seven years.. how... how will I know...?"
"Just seven years! You'll know when the time comes... but... good bye Tasuki. I'll see you in another life." With that Chichiri's spirit jumped and vanished through the clouds.
~It doesn't matter Tasuki! Whatever life we lead... we'll always be Chichiri and Tasuki; Tasuki and Chichiri! We may not be Houjun and Shun'u... but we'll always be the Siciseishi... Chichiri... and Tasuki... remember that.~
"Ch--ch--CHICHIRI!!!"
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author's note: Sorry this took so long... and it's so short... *bows* This, to be honest, was not the original chapter I had in mind... but it was soo much happier... and out of place I had to rewrite it... I'd keep going, and I DID... but the mood again didn't fit... but at least chapter 5 is already... 1/4 done... I HOPE. O.o;;
****
Author's note: Here we go... chapter 12
****
"Whenever I see your tears, I can't stand it. It makes me want to hold you close from behind."
~*~
Kenshou hovered over Chishiki's bed, her hand held tightly to the unresponsive one's. She caressed her cheek lovingly and whispered, "C'mon Chichiri... don't leave me now... not now... not after I remember everything." She fought back tears and shook her fist.
"Miss Kenshou, you really should be returning home now. Visiting hours are almost over," The doctor annouced.
"Can't... can't I stay?"
The doctor sighed, but it did nothing to change his kind and gentle expression. "You're not family I'm af--"
Kouji stuck his head into the room. "Chishiki Teijina... doesn't have any more family," he said quietly. "Dr. Iyaku... if there was one kind bone in yer body, ya'd let Kenshou stay here. She's all this girl's got."
The doctor sighed heavily, obviously weighing the situation. "Alright, Miss Kenshou- you can stay."
She wasn't paying attention, instead she was just sitting by Chishiki, completely dedicated to stay by her side. "I know you're there... c'mon... why don't you just sit up and be yourself again! I remember... you did that once! I tried gettin' Mits to heal you and-" she started babbling.
Iyuka smiled and did a few last minute checks before accompanying Kouji out the door. A blanket of silence was draped over the room. "Ne--ne-- ne Chichiri! Yer gonna wake up any time now, aren't ya??" Kenshou coaxed, grabbing the girl by the shoulders and shaking her rather violently.
The way her limp body moved easily with each shake, gave no indication of her waking up any time soon. Kenshou sat back down in the chair, a hand in her short red hair. "C'mon... c'mon... yer not hurt! The doctor said so himself! Yer just fine! Why don't ya... why don't ya wake up!?"
She pushed back tears, promising herself she wouldn't be weak, wouldn't give into her feelings. Carefully she pushed back Chishiki's bangs, revealing the silvery scar. Softly she kissed it, so gently she could barely feel her under her own lips. She gulped cautiously before travelling downard to caress Chishiki's lips. First with her fingers, then with her lips.
Kenshou jumped backwards, the chair clattering to the floor. "No! This is wrong! What if she doesn't remember? I mean... what if she doesn't care about me...! AHHHH!!!" She cried out suddenly. It hadn't occured to her until now that Chishiki might not remember the past.
The door opened suddenly, a nurse peeking her head in. "Is everything alright in here?" she asked urgently.
"Ahh--- yes! Everything's fine!" Kenshou said, waving her hands in the air.
The nurse raised an eyebrow at this. "Alright... be sure to call us if anything happens to the paitent," she said and closed the door.
The firey haired girl sighed and lay down on the ground. "I'm a fuckin' idiot... thinkin' she'd love me too. It ain't fair... why do I get to remember...?"
~*~
I feel them touch me, soft, gentle... ones I was used to in my last life... ones I was used to in this life. Kouran, she hangs from my neck. She looks just a cute, just as loving as before... but yet... the emotions I see in her ghostly eyes are from another life. She loves me as Houjun, not Chishiki... but yet... aren't I the same person now?
Hikou, Hikou's arms are wrapped around me, around Kouran as well. He's holding both of us. Unlike Kouran... he loves me as Chishiki, not as Houjun... in so many ways, it only makes it more confusing for me. Yet, as they hold me, I feel...
"You don't feel right with us do you?" Kouran asks, whispering into my ear.
How do I reply to something like that?
Hikou pulls away from the embrace, and appears infront of me. I see through his ghostly figure, but his eyes... they're so clear. "Chishiki," he says in his smooth velvety voice, "this... is what it would be like if you had died. Is this what you want?"
"I... I'm... I'm hurting inside," I find myself saying. "I don't want to live... I don't want to die.. I'm..."
"Confused?" Kouran finishes for me.
I sigh, and she passes through me, her ghostly form sliding through my own body, and she appears on my other side. My two dearest friends stand side by side. I peer into Kouran's eyes, she represents my life as Houjun... as a man in the Universe of the Four Gods... as the monk with the smiling mask... Images flicker across my vision, and I see Tasuki. His kind fanged smile grinning at me... the fire of his magic billowing from a tessen... his love.
The images fade away, and once again I see Kouran. She kisses me gently on the lips and whispers, "Remember why you stayed alive before..."
She holds on my hand tightly, just for a brief moment, before vanishing. I reach out for her desperately.... she's gone. Hikou still remains though. He was never very emotional, never very touchy... but his words were always enough for me. He touches my cheek with one ghostly hand. I see no visions, as I did with Kouran, yet... I understand his message. "Chishiki," he murmurs, "turn back now... don't stay here... and like you said... we'll be reunited in heaven... when it's time."
I reach for him, kiss him, desperate for him to hold me one last time. He pulls away. "I love you Chishiki, you know that. I loved Houjun all the same... but you must remember WHY you were reborn. Not to be with us... but to be with--"
I cover his lips with my fingers. "I know," I say, finally understanding why I didn't die the first time I commited suicide... why I didn't die the second... Hikou smiles and holds my hand the same way Kouran did moments earlier. And then he vanishes.
I fall to my knees, holding myself tightly. Tasuki's words resonate in my ears, "I love you Chichiri."
~*~
Kenshou rested her head against the hospital bed, one hand holding on tightly to Chishiki's. "I'm gonna stay right here... for as long as it takes... right here... right..." She yawned and closed her eyes. "Right here..." She trailed off. An arm wrapped around her, warm and comforting.
Sleepily she murmured, "Night Chiri...."
Chishiki's fingers curled around Kenshou's short red hair. "Sleep well Tasuki."
~*~
His life snapped, and his spirit soared free from the earth. Breathing had no meaning to him anymore, and he flew free from his body to the heavens above. His heart wanted to burst from his chest at the thought of seeing the one he loved again. He stopped short, the crest of blue hair so familar. "CHICHIRI!" he cried, running towards him.
The expression on the former monk's face was one of fear and worry. "TASUKI! STOP!" he cried, holding out his hand.
"Ch-chichiri?" Tasuki asked, and suddenly noticed that his lover was preparing to jump from the heavens. "What are ya... what are ya doin?"
"Tasuki! You... you wait here... seven years! It's all settled...! I'm going to be reborn now! You stay here, in the Yin World... just seven years!"
"NO! We're supposed to be together now!"
"We will! But it's all done! I'm ready to go! You just wait...! Seven years...! Then we can be together again!"
"Chi--"
"Tasuki..! Remember! I love you! We're destined to be together! It's all set! I'll see you again!"
Tasuki felt himself crumble. "Seven years.. how... how will I know...?"
"Just seven years! You'll know when the time comes... but... good bye Tasuki. I'll see you in another life." With that Chichiri's spirit jumped and vanished through the clouds.
~It doesn't matter Tasuki! Whatever life we lead... we'll always be Chichiri and Tasuki; Tasuki and Chichiri! We may not be Houjun and Shun'u... but we'll always be the Siciseishi... Chichiri... and Tasuki... remember that.~
"Ch--ch--CHICHIRI!!!"
****
author's note: Sorry this took so long... and it's so short... *bows* This, to be honest, was not the original chapter I had in mind... but it was soo much happier... and out of place I had to rewrite it... I'd keep going, and I DID... but the mood again didn't fit... but at least chapter 5 is already... 1/4 done... I HOPE. O.o;;