The Love Of Your Life Chapter 5: C h a p t e r F i v e, a dark angel fanfic

Author: Michelle Drake gypsychic04@c4.com

Author's Note: Wow . . . I didn't think that I would actually get that many reviews! Yes- I am quite aware that for a while I was on many peoples most wanted lists for holding this chapter hostage . . . I m sorry . . . we all have to be evil sometimes, it is so much fun! I want to thank you all for the reviews, especially for the suggestion . . . they really helped! And of course, thank you for the encouragement! I am almost speechless as to the amount of reviews I got . . . I seriously didn't think I'd get over twenty in a few days . . . Also, this chapter has had some MAJOR revisions, so I might have messed up a few places, but it is almost error free.

Feedback: PLEASE, Please, please review!!!!! I live off feedback, and appreciate any sort of comments! I really want to know what to do to make it better! Review, please :) And please- be honest!!!! :) E-mail me if you have a question about my writing, or if you need a beta-reader, or whatever gypsychic04@c4.com.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dark Angel (as I've said in each of the chapters before!) and the characters, I just get into their minds and play with them . . . I do own this story, my other stories, and the character of Julie, and I own Alec . . . but that's besides the point! So basically- not mine, not ever going to be mine . . . but I can dream . . . RIGHT?

. . .T h e L o v e O f Y o u r L i f e. . .
by Michelle Drake

. . .C h a p t e r F i v e. . .

She slowly looked up, to see Logan only inches from her. They were both speechless, as their eyes interlocked with the other's. They stared deeply into each others' eyes, for what seemed hours. They were completely unaware of everything around them, afraid that it might be an all to wonderful dream.

His hand gently brushed across her cheek, as he leaned in and kissed her gently, then more passionately, wanting to hold onto her and never let go. He had wanted so desperately to kiss her for what seemed forever, and he wasn't about to waste another second. She kissed him back, something that she too had wanted to do forever. It all seemed like a dream- to good to be true.

"I- I thought you were dead- I never thought you'd be back. I had a feeling that you weren't gone- but-" he stumbled on his words, overcome with emotion; tears coming to his eyes, as he continued to look into her dark chocolate-brown eyes that he had missed so much. In his dreams he had gone over what he would say to her if she ever came back to him, but now all the words had disappeared. "You're back now and that's all that matters." He leaned in kissed her again, making up for all the lost kisses that they had missed in those three years. He needed to be close to her; needed to feel her near him, feel her breath on his lips, feel her heart beating against his, feel the warmth of her touch. The thought about having to be away from her any longer scared him to death. She was back now, and that was all that mattered to him in the moment.

"I'm, so sorry," she said crying in his embrace. She was so sorry for so many things; coming back to him when he was about to get married, for causing him pain during those three long years, for everything . . .

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You're back now, and that's all that matters," he added again, staring intently into her eyes, oblivious to the light rain drops that were beginning to fall from the darkened sky. To him, there was no one else in the world but the two of them.

Max continued to cry, partly out of happiness, partly because she missed being in his arms, partly out of relief that he still loved her, and partly because she was afraid of what would come next. She buried her head in his chest, she didn't know what else to do. Everything was so overwhelming. Here Logan was getting married, but instead was outside in the rain with her. She knew that she had to let go, but she had wanted to be in his arms for so long. Letting go would be too painful, but she knew she had to do it eventually.

"You shouldn't be here," she said firmly, finally pulling away from him. "You should be in the church with your fiance," she said, not being able to control her out pouring of emotions.

"Max- nothing else matters right now, " he said, kissing her again. God, how he had missed her; missed her kisses. He ran his hands through her long, dark hair. He wanted so badly to hold her forever and never let her go.

Max let him kiss her, but her mind was still flooded with all her thoughts. Everything was just too overwhelming. She felt torn in what she should do.

"Logan, there you are, I've been looking everywhere for you man, the wedding is about to . . ." Bling trailed off, noticing Max still in Logan's arms. "Max?" he uttered in a state of shock, not knowing what to say. He stood there silently for what seemed hours, then finally speaking, "Why don't you guys move it into the building and dry off." He didn't know what else there was to say, what do you say in a situation like that?

. . .

Inside, Max sat in the small room in the back of the church where just an hour ago Logan had been getting ready for his wedding. Max sat peering out the window watching the rain fall down in tiny droplets, as Logan sat next to her holding her hand. He knew it seemed silly, but he just couldn't let go of her, he was afraid to.

"What are you going to tell her?" Max spoke sadly. " 'I was late to the wedding because I was busy kissing a girl from my past, who happened to die three years ago, or at least that's what I thought. Well guess what, she's not really dead,' " she added sarcastically. "I shouldn't have come back, hoping that everything would be fine. I've ruined everything. You'd be better off if I was never a part of your life," she said letting more tears fall, as she continued to look out at the rain.

Logan could see her sad reflection in the window. He gently lifted her chin so that she was looking at him. "You don't really think that, do you?" he asked sadly.

Max didn't answer, she just looked down, not wanting Logan to see the sadness in her eyes.

"Max- I can't live without you. You should have seen how I was when I first lost you. I was a wreck. All I wanted to do was die. I am not better off without you," he said gently wiping a tear that streaked her face.

"What do we do now?" she asked looking at him with her saddened eyes. The look in them was almost unbearable for Logan to see. He hated to see the pain and sadness reflected in them.

"I don't know-" he answered, kissing her softly on the forehead, then moving to place the softest of kisses on her lips. Max rested her forehead on his, and closed her eyes. Logan ran his hand through her hair affectionately. We will figure everything out, he said quietly. He pulled away a little to look her in the eyes. As Max pulled away from him, she noticed a women with long blonde hair standing behind Logan heartbrokenly. Logan noticed Max looking past his shoulder, and looked behind him to find Julie standing there, and expression of complete pain written across her face.

"Bling is telling everyone that the wedding is off," she said softly, visibly upset, her eyes filled with tears.

"Julie- I don't know what to say-" he said, not wanting to hurt her anymore than he all ready did.

"Don't say anything," she said silencing him, trying to keep her composure. "Just don't- we'll talk later." It was apparent that she didn't want to be near him right now. She was too hurt and angry to talk to him.

"All right. I am going to go help Bling," Logan said, escaping the situation. He needed to think alone, even if that meant having to leave the comfort of having Max near him.

After he left, Julie spoke up. "He was never really over you," she said angrily. "He always loved you, and no one could ever compare. I should've known that he wasn't ready to get married. I could see it in his eyes . . . you were the one he wanted.

"I'm so sorry," Max apologized, not being able to look Julie in the eye. "I'm leaving tomorrow. Things can finally get back to normal with you two. I never meant to ruin everything," she said heartbrokenly. "You must hate me for ruining everything."

"I don't hate you. You didn't know. I'm more mad at Logan. He said that he was in love with me, but he wasn't- apparently," she dejected sadly as she realized that Logan and her were never going to mend their broken relationship. "He was always in love with you. I guess I was just too foolish and naive to realize it," she said quietly wiping away a tear. The saddest part was that she was right. Logan had always loved Max, and she had never compared. She had seen the way Logan had been looking at Max. It was as if he were alive for the first time in years. He had never had that look in his eyes when he had been with her.

"What we had wasn't even love- it wasn't really anything," said Max downwardly, as she got up to leave. "I'm sorry. I'm going to leave now," she said leaving the building in a hurry. She couldn't stay any longer causing everyone so much pain.

She quickly walked out, hoping not to run into Logan so that she could be out of his life forever, but she had no such luck.

"Max- are you leaving?" he asked sitting solemnly in front of the church, as the rain began to let up a little.

"No, of course not, I'm just going to stay here and live happily ever after with you and your fiance," she said sarcastically, then more sadly, "Of course I'm leaving. What else is there to do?"

"You can't just leave after being gone for three years, you just can't," he said almost stubbornly. In reality he was to afraid of what he would do if he lost her again. He couldn't live without her anymore.

"What else am I supposed to do?" she yelled exasperatedly. "You are living in a dream world Logan Cale. Things between us died three years ago, and now we finally have to put it all to rest. There is no such thing as happily ever after," she said bitterly.

"Why are you giving up so easily?" he demanded.

"Because we are clearly never going to be able to work things out," she said her eyes beginning to well up with more tears. "Just forget that I ever came back and go on with your life, she said walking past him.

"You can't just walk away upset," said Logan grabbing her hand not wanting to lose her again. "You can't walk away regretting everything. Let me give you some money for a nice hotel, and you can come by my place tomorrow, and we'll talk."

"Logan- why can't you just leave things be?" she said sadly. "Why can't we just leave things the way they are?"

"Because I can't lose you again," he said genuinely. He handed her a credit card, and wrote down the name of a hotel. "Just promise me that you will come by tomorrow. We can't leave things the way they are right now. I can't have you leaving without seeing you again. I can't do that all over again . . . "

"I'll be over tomorrow, she said torn. She had two choices, both of which scared her to death. She could admit to him what she felt, or she could let him go and never see him again, letting him go on with his new life. Deep down she knew what she truly wanted, but she was to afraid that it wasn't the right thing to do. She could feel her heart fill with dread. She knew what she was going to tell him when she saw him the next day . . . the thought of it scared her more than anything, but she knew what she had to do . . .

. . .

Author's Note: I hope you liked it . . . more to come soon! Please review and tell me what you think. I did a lot of revisions to this because the first draft was horrible, so if you have any other suggestions I would love to see them! :) Just please review and tell me what you think . . . the more you review the faster I post, and the next chapter is the only chapter that I think is good! Next chapter I am hoping will make you cry . . . I worked really hard on it! So review! I can't think of a teaser, maybe I'll add one later . . . but I kinda' want to keep the suspense for the next chapter. It is good though . . . I really hope it will make you cry (because I am evil like that) :) I love you all for reading! :)