The Love Of Your Life Chapter 6: C h a p t e r S i x, a dark angel fanfic

Author: Michelle Drake gypsychic04@c4.com

Author's Note: I am so sorry I held this chapter hostage for more than a week . . . Life is unbelievably crazy, so I finally got around to revising this chapter. I have to say out of everything I've written, this is my favorite chapter . . . so I hope you REALLY like it! :) It isn't completely revised yet, and there might be some errors still because I haven't revised my revisions . . . and so on. I tried to make this very angsty and touching, so tell me if I was at all successful. Please review! Then I will give you the next chapter (which I think is the last chapter . . . I'm not sure . . .) and get you the sorta-sequel (which is not completely a companion to this story- I'll explain later!). M/L shippers . . . it will become more shipper friendly very soon! Trust me (which I doubt any of you will . . . especially after have held this story hostage for SO long)! :) Also . . . would you please read some of my other short Dark Angel stories, they tend to get buried, and never read, and some of them I've worked very hard on! I would appreciate it so much! Remember: lots of reviews equals happy writer, equals chapters and sequel FASTER!!!! :) Love you all!!!! Enjoy!!!! Chapter seven will be here soon . . . I hope :)

Feedback: PLEASE, Please, please review!!!!! I live off feedback, and appreciate any sort of comments, suggestions, criticism- ANYTHING! I really want to know what to do to make it better! Review, please :) And please- be honest!!!! :) E-mail me if you have a question about my writing, or if you need a beta-reader, or whatever gypsychic04@c4.com. I would love to offer my beta skills!

Disclaimer: I just wrote Fox an angry letter about how they are a bunch of primates that are killing Dark Angel with their supid non-advertising and promoting, and I proved my point so very well that they gave me possession of Dark Angel© and all affiliated merchandise!!!! Now they are all mine!!!! And I thought I would never be able to own them! Silly me . . . The best part is that now I can play with Logan and Alec all I want and I won't need to be running from the cops!!!! I also own this story . . .

. . .T h e L o v e O f Y o u r L i f e. . .
by Michelle Drake

. . .C h a p t e r S i x. . .

Max sat uncomfortably on Logan's couch, knowing that this might be the last time she was going to sit there. She had made up her final decision, as much as it hurt. She was going to let him go on with his life without her. He had moved on, she refused to hold him back any longer. To Max, it was the only answer.

"Max," said Logan softly after a long and awkward pause, "we are going to be able to work this out." It was apparent that he was trying to reassure her, but also himself. He honestly had no clue how they were going to figure everything out.

"It doesn't matter if we figure everything out," she said defeatedly, "because I'm leaving." The words were hard to say, but she said them anyway. As much as she hated it . . . she had to let him go, for his sake and her own.

"Max, you don't have to leave,. We are going to figure everything out," he said again, his voice a little more convincing, but his composure just the opposite. He ran his hands through his sandy brown hair nervously, desperately trying to seek her downward gaze.

"How the hell are we supposed to do that?" she said almost angrily. "I've already ruined your life. When I saw you standing up at the altar, you looked so happy, now look at you- you're a mess." Max was right- he was a mess. The night before he couldn't fall asleep. His thoughts were overloaded as he tried to process what had happened. He was still afraid it might just be some twisted dream- or maybe a horrible nightmare.

"Of course I'm a mess. How do you think I'd react to you deciding to leave me, after just coming back. You can't just leave again."

"Again?" she spat. "Do you think it was my choice to stay in that hell hole? You think that I wanted to spend those three years, fighting them just to get back to find you about to be married? Now I find that you are angry at me for leaving you!" she said upset, even though she knew that she was jumping to conclusions. She knew that he was hurting just as much as she was, maybe even more.

"That isn't what I meant," he said reaching out to touch her, as she flinched, and pulled even farther away. "I'm not angry at you, I could never be angry at you. None of this has been easy, for either of us." He tried to comfort her, never seeing her so emotionally drained before.

"That's why I can't stay here. I can't keep on causing you so much pain. Look at how I've ruined everything!" she said upset, not being able to look him in the eyes. There was so much pain in them, and she felt like she was the one that was causing it.

"You never ruined anything, and you have never, caused me pain. Never." He wanted more than anything for her to stay. "Why are you doing this to me? You say that you don't want to cause me pain- so stay," he tried again.

"I have to go," she said with effort, trying to fight the outpouring of emotions that were threatening to become visible. "You've moved on. You have a beautiful, fiance who loves you, and whom you love back. There's nothing you can say to make me stay," she said getting up to walking away and never come back. She knew that if she didn't go now she might never be able to leave.

"You don't know how hard these past years have been," he said quietly as she walked away, knowing that what he was saying might not even make a difference, especially if Max's mind was all ready made up. "I just can't do it all over again. I can't get over you, again. As much as I tried I could never find anyone who compared to you. I love you Max," he quietly spoke, the last part being barely audible.

Max stopped dead in her tracks, her back still turned to him. Those three little words seemed to hold her there, not being able to go forward, or back, as if she were stuck in time. Logan continued to speak.

"From the moment I met you, and even after all these years, I've never stopped loving you," he emphasized, wanting so desperately for her to turn around and say that she felt the same way. "And after being away from you for so long, I've realized that I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens."

Max turned around and walked back to him, kneeling next to him. "Please, don't make this any harder than it has to," she pleaded looking deeply into his blue green eyes. "I have to leave."

"Tell me that you love me," he said whispered cupping her cheek with one of his hands, the other hand protectively holding the nape of her neck. It was as if he didn't hold onto her a little longer she would disappear forever. Tell me that you feel the same way," he managed to say.

Max just sat there, not being able to say anything. She finally let a tear that has been threatening to escape since she had arrived at his place, leaving a wet trail down her cheek.

Logan gently wiped it away with his thumb, still pleading with her, "tell me that you love me." He desperately held on to her, not ready to let her go. She was too close to let her go again.

"Stop making this so hard," she reiterated, letting more tears fall although she was trying to keep them in. "I have to go," she said finally, quickly getting up to leave.

Logan desperately grabbed her wrist, and looked deeply into her eyes, his own glazed over with tears that were about to fall. "Just say it-" He wasn't able to mask the hurt that he felt as his voice spoke out brokenly. He needed to know if she felt the same way. He had been trying so hard to be strong, but all that crumbled as Max reached up and gently wiped a tear away from his cheek, the same as he had done for her.

"Goodbye," she whispered just inches from him, quickly turning away and running out the door. She had wanted to kiss him goodbye, but leaving was all ready too hard. She was afraid if she kissed him she might never be able to leave.

Logan watched as she ran out the door and didn't come back. He simply turned to the window to get one last look at her. He didn't think that she would be coming back. After a minute, he heard faint footsteps behind him. He turned around slowly, hoping that it wasn't just his imagination.

"I couldn't leave without-" Max managed to say, before, giving Logan a desperate, almost mournful kiss, full of all the emotion that they had both been holding in- the hurt, the pain, the loneliness, the grief, that they had both endured those three years, but also the longing and passion that each of them felt for the other. They both relished the kiss, as much as they were both hurting. Max held onto Logan tightly, knowing that she was going to have to attempt to pull away from the kiss and leave. Logan also held onto her, grasping the back of her silky, black hair, not wanting to let her go, but knowing deep down that she wasn't going to be staying. He knew that it was a goodbye kiss, and he knew that it was about to end. He tightened his grip on her, letting all of his emotions out in the final moments of the kiss, until she finally broke the kiss, staring up at him, reading the heartbreak written on his face.

"Goodbye," she said forcing herself to tear away from him as much as it tore away at her, not looking back.

All Logan could do was sit there helplessly, watching as she walked out the door. This time she didn't come back . . .

. . .

Logan had been sitting in front of the window watching the rain come down from the dark, ominous, clouds, ever since Max had left. He didn't know what else to do. He knew that she wasn't coming back- ever.

"Logan," Julie said softly sitting on the couch next to him. "I'm worried."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I don't know what else to say. Things are never going to be the same with us." No matter how much he loved Max, he still felt guilty for all the pain he had caused Julie. He had loved Julie too- but in a way that just didn't measure up against his love for Max. He hated that it all was all ending so horribly.

"I'm not worried about us, I'm worried about you. You've been sitting here for hours. Are you going to be all right?" She had never seen him so miserable before, it almost scared her.

"Yeah- I'll be fine. I just have a lot on my mind," he said absently.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she said softly, seeing the pain he was in.

"No," he answered truthfully, finally looking Julie in the eyes. "I feel like I've lost everything."

"I'm sorry that all of this happened," she said seeing the tears in his eyes, but moreover, seeing the emptiness in them.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one that should be apologizing to you," he said sadly, then waiting a beat, "the sad thing is, as much as I love you, there is no way we can ever work this out."

"I know," she said putting her hands around his shoulders, resting her head against his sadly.

"It just wouldn't be fair to you," he added, gently grabbing her hand.

"You don't have to explain," she said still worried about him. She finally pulled away from him, knowing that he wanted to be alone. She stood back a little watching him. As much as she wanted to hate him for everything that had happened, she couldn't. She could see how genuinely sorry he was about everything.

"I just want to make sure you know that I'm sorry, and that I wish things between us could work out," said Logan, still staring out the window.

"I know that you are, and it's all right," she said, giving him another quick hug. "I'm going to be moving in with Original Cindy for a while until I get an apartment. I'll be leaving this weekend," she said finally, knowing that she was closing this chapter of her life for good.

"I am really sorry," he said again, blinking back tears.

"Logan," Julie said looking back at him. "Promise me you'll be okay." She had known him long enough to know when he was hurting, and as much as she hurt, she knew that he was hurting ten times more. She couldn't help but still love him.

"I promise," he said giving her a half smile; if only that were the truth . . .

. . .

Author's Note: Please review!!!! :) And please read my poor neglected stories that have become buried! Thank you all!!!! The more reviews the sooner you get chapter seven and the sequel . . . you all know that I am capable of holding my stories hostage, so please review :) Love y'all!