Title: the ecstasy of grief
Spoilers: Angel – There's no place like Plrtz Glrb and a little of Heartthrob
Buffy – The Gift
Rating: whatever the show is…PG13 I guess
Disclaimer: I don't own anything…
Credits: The first three lines of dialogue are from "There's no place…" written by David Greenwalt.
Summary: Angel/Buffy crossover, but mainly Angel…that's why I put it here…
"There's no place like..." I trailed off as soon as I saw her, "Willow?"
"What's..?" Cordy broke off.
Willow never took her dark eyes off me as she stood up. The anguish and compassion. I knew instantly. "It's Buffy." As soon as I had verbalised it, the agony and rage hit me like a freight train. I knocked over the armchair at my right, the table at my left. I felt myself go into game face as the anger and pain built up inside of me.
"Angel…" Cordy whispered my name. I turned to her, my eyes filled with tears. "I…I can't…I…I have to go." I ran from the Hyperion like a bat out of hell.
………
Angel had run from the Hyperion so fast that I hadn't been able to check if he was bleeding badly or not. I guess it didn't matter, what with the vampire-healing abilities. But I was scared out of my mind about what he might do. I could just imagine him looking for a fight and deliberately getting himself killed. And I wouldn't be able to handle that right now. I just found out she is gone. No, not gone. Dead. Buffy is dead. It's like I'm dreaming. But not in a good way. If she couldn't survive, how can anyone. She was the strongest person I ever knew – and not just physically. She killed her lover so that her sister and mother and friends could live. And it nearly killed her. I couldn't believe that some god had done what the death of her only love couldn't. As Willow tearfully explained what had happened in the last few months in Sunnydale, my strong front disappeared. By the time Willow had told me about Dawn being some mystical key, I was sobbing.
………
Telling Angel what had happened was the most difficult and heartbreaking thing I had ever done. Telling someone their lover is dead…I can't begin to explain. The rush of grief and fury that clouded Angel's eyes were enough to make me burst into tears again, for what seemed like the millionth time. His expression was probably what triggered the passionate and stubborn idea of raising Buffy in the first place. To see someone suffer that much killed me.
………
It was slowly killing me. I could feel it gradually eat away at my internal organs like acid. My heart. My soul. I wouldn't have cared if someone had cut off all my limbs that night. I wouldn't have noticed. Looking back, I realise I wasn't even lucid until the next month had passed. The grief made me crazed. Finally I realised I had to get out of L.A. Even this city held too many memories of her. So I left.
………
Spoilers: Angel – There's no place like Plrtz Glrb and a little of Heartthrob
Buffy – The Gift
Rating: whatever the show is…PG13 I guess
Disclaimer: I don't own anything…
Credits: The first three lines of dialogue are from "There's no place…" written by David Greenwalt.
Summary: Angel/Buffy crossover, but mainly Angel…that's why I put it here…
"There's no place like..." I trailed off as soon as I saw her, "Willow?"
"What's..?" Cordy broke off.
Willow never took her dark eyes off me as she stood up. The anguish and compassion. I knew instantly. "It's Buffy." As soon as I had verbalised it, the agony and rage hit me like a freight train. I knocked over the armchair at my right, the table at my left. I felt myself go into game face as the anger and pain built up inside of me.
"Angel…" Cordy whispered my name. I turned to her, my eyes filled with tears. "I…I can't…I…I have to go." I ran from the Hyperion like a bat out of hell.
………
Angel had run from the Hyperion so fast that I hadn't been able to check if he was bleeding badly or not. I guess it didn't matter, what with the vampire-healing abilities. But I was scared out of my mind about what he might do. I could just imagine him looking for a fight and deliberately getting himself killed. And I wouldn't be able to handle that right now. I just found out she is gone. No, not gone. Dead. Buffy is dead. It's like I'm dreaming. But not in a good way. If she couldn't survive, how can anyone. She was the strongest person I ever knew – and not just physically. She killed her lover so that her sister and mother and friends could live. And it nearly killed her. I couldn't believe that some god had done what the death of her only love couldn't. As Willow tearfully explained what had happened in the last few months in Sunnydale, my strong front disappeared. By the time Willow had told me about Dawn being some mystical key, I was sobbing.
………
Telling Angel what had happened was the most difficult and heartbreaking thing I had ever done. Telling someone their lover is dead…I can't begin to explain. The rush of grief and fury that clouded Angel's eyes were enough to make me burst into tears again, for what seemed like the millionth time. His expression was probably what triggered the passionate and stubborn idea of raising Buffy in the first place. To see someone suffer that much killed me.
………
It was slowly killing me. I could feel it gradually eat away at my internal organs like acid. My heart. My soul. I wouldn't have cared if someone had cut off all my limbs that night. I wouldn't have noticed. Looking back, I realise I wasn't even lucid until the next month had passed. The grief made me crazed. Finally I realised I had to get out of L.A. Even this city held too many memories of her. So I left.
………