---
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing nor the boys. The song isn't mine either (I can't even remember the artist as of now).
---
"This is all for the best."
Duo nodded, lips set in a grim line, trying his best to believe Heero's words. He was right. It was for the best that they part ways, that they never see each other again. It would be better for everybody, for both of them. If only what's best wasn't so hard to accept, if only what's right didn't hurt so much.
"Duo?" Heero peered at the silent boy, a bit worried but trying his best not to show it. It was so unlike the long-haired pilot to be so quiet. He wasn't even cracking jokes anymore. He just sat there, staring at him with those big violet blue eyes, unusually dark and empty. Heero knew he hurt Duo, hurt him real bad. Enough to make the chatterbox actually shut up. He knew, for he was hurting too. It hurt to see the pain mirrored in those eyes that usually danced with mischief. It hurt to be the one to take away the smile from those lips that seemed to never stop smiling. It hurt that he was making the most important person in his life hurt. Duo was the only one he let into his closely guarded heart, the only one he ever loved, the only one he could ever love.
"Goodbye Heero," Duo finally said, but immediately shut up, afraid he might say things he'd later regret. He stared at him, trying to remember everything about him, the way he looked, the little things about him that made him Heero, his Heero, who wasn't going to be his anymore. It made him want to hold on, beg him to reconsider, do everything in his power to change everything that's about to happen. He didn't want Heero to leave. He wanted Heero with him forever. He wanted to ask him to stay. But he knew that it wasn't the right thing to do. Heero was right. They both needed space, time apart, fo fix their lives and accomplish their missions. There were things they both had to attend to thatmade all else trivial. He should let go. It won't be easy living without him, apart from the one that made his life complete. But it's one reality he has to face, a truth he should endure.
He watched Heero stare back at him, those cobalt blue eyes devoid of emotion, face impassive. Always the perfect soldier, impenetratable. And yet was so human underneath. Heero had let him through the barriers, but down his guard, showed him a side to himself that he didn't know existed. Duo always thought it was all too good to be true. Now, it seemed that he was right.
Heero picked up his bags and turned to go. Duo just continued to sit there, immobile, not wanting to see him, watch him as he walked out the door, out of his life. He felt the tears come, warm, unbidden. Duo Maxwell does not cry. He does not cry. But things have changed. Everything would not be the same again. Nothing could never be the same again.
---
A million times or more, I thought about you, The years of tears, the laughter, Things we used to do
I sat in my favorite spot, staring out a window, thoughts a million miles away. Life had been the same, missions, boarding schools, Shinigami. But it was not the same, could never be the same.
It had been a year. A long hard year that felt like eternity to me. Thoughts, memories of him continued to haunt me, never making me forget. Life went on, sure, but it was not the same. I tried looking for him, searched every place I knew he could be, but it was all in vain. It was like he disappeared from the face of the earth. Gone, never to be found again. How it hurt. No matter what I tell myself, no matter how well I seem to be on the outside, it wasn't okay. Everything reminded me of him. He wasn't just part of my life, he was my life. Nothing held meaning anymore. Everything had become mechanical, one big routine.
Our memories warm me like a sunny day, You touched my life in such a special way
But even as memories of him tortured me, they were also the reason I was able to hold on, continue. They filled the void that slowly ate into my soul and burrowed into the deepest recesses of my heart. Memories kept him close to me, the times I wanted to give up. It was funny. Little things I did with him, hanging out, doing repairs or just bugging him, things I took for granted were now the ones keeping me from going insane, "accidentally" hitting Shinigami's self-destruct button or jumping off a skyscraper.
I miss the way you run your fingers through my hair, Those crazy nights we cuddled in your easy chair
I miss him so much. The little things about him, everything. I miss his smiles, the very few times he'd actually smile because of some sweet, crazy or idiotic thing I did. I miss his glares, yes, I miss even that. It's a wonder how those cold blue orbs could actually calm my deepest fears and make me feel warm all over with their fierce and intense gaze. I also miss the times when we'd be alone together. The times when he would let himself be soft, loving, emotional, the times when he declared that I was his, only his. It never failed to amuse me, those times he'd be jealous. But a jealous Heero Yuy was a bad thing. Especially when he threatened to kill someone or blow up something because of it. There'd be no one else like him, no one can ever replace him.
It's been a long time, the ache, the pain of losing him had gradually lessened. It has been so long, I resigned myself to the fact that he was gone. But now…
It was weird what a few lines could do to someone, how it could rip open a half-closed wound and turn my whole life upside down. It was so hard to believe how much power a piece of paper could have over me.
Duo,
Meet me at the harbor, tomorrow at two.
Heero
Tomorrow. Such a nice word. Made one hope. It was ironic that there was once a time I hated that word. It used to hold nothing but uncertainty. You never knew what might happen, if you'd even be alive to see that day. It was another time to live and survive.
Tomorrow, I'd see Heero. Tomorrow at the harbor. Tomorrow I'd see him, after all these years. Tomorrow…
---
He sat at the edge of the dock, staring out into the murky waters, stray strands from his long chestnut braid whipping in the breeze. He looked calm, collected, dressed in his typical black outfit. No bystander would guess the whirlwind of emotions that surged through him. No one would guess the excitement and nervousness he felt at seeing his koi once more. He didn't know what to expect. A year was along time. A lot of things could change, a lot could happen whether he liked it or not. Duo himself knew that HE had changed. He wasn't the same person Heero left a year ago. Pain and longing had driven that old Duo away. A part of him had died and there was no way to take it back again.
Oh no I won't let foolish pride turn you away, I'll take you back whatever price I pay
But no matter what, Duo knew nothing could change the way he feels for Heero. Time could change anything and everything, but it could not affect his feelings for his koi. That remained, will remain, through everything and anything that might happen.
After a while, Duo glanced at his watch. Fifteen past two. Heero was never late. He always appeared on the dot every time. Where could he be? Duo stood up and looked around him. He was alone, save that young man in denim overalls standing by a lamp post. He seems to be waiting for someone too. Seems Duo wasn't the only one waiting for someone who might never show up.
Duo let out a long drawn sigh. He should've known. It was all too good to be true. Heero wasn't going to show up. He'd sure strangle that dumb fool who sent the letter. He'll take him and rip him to pieces. Nope, that wasn't enough. He'd have to go through more for pretending to be his koi. He should be burned alive, or fed to the lions. Maybe Trowa knows a more savage animal. Or maybe Wufei knows a better way for him to extract justice. Yup. He'll make that darn person suffer. He glanced at the young man again. Maybe he needs help in extracting justice too. He could recommend Wufei… Weird. The guy was in the same position he was when Duo last looked. Duo chuckled. He reminded him of another weird guy with the same messy brown hair. All he needed were cold blue eyes and a nasty scowl. He'd look exactly like…
"Duo."
Now how did the guy know his… Duo stiffened as he got a good look on the other boy's face. He was taller, leaner but it was… him.
"Heero…"
"Hn."
Duo swallowed thickly. Heero was here, standing right in front of him while his crazy heart was doing cartwheels. "Uh, Heero, I… How are you? Where'd you been, man? Hey, I'd been sittin' there, waitin' for you, turned out you were standing here waitin' for me." He ran a nervous hand in his hair before continuing with his ranting. "Ain't it funny? Next time, you should specify if were meeting here by the lamp post or there by the dock. The harbor's big and there are so many places to be in… what if you were there on the other side? Next time you be the one looking for me. That way we…"
"Duo…"
"Yeah Heero?" Duo asked in a small voice. Little Heeros were running round and round his flustered brain, making it hard to think.
"Shut up."
"Hai." Duo said, lowering his head, a hand reaching up to play with the end of his braid. Darn, he was nervous as hell. He peered up at Heero through his bangs and saw that he had moved closer and was now only a couple of inches away from him. So close… Duo needed to do something, anything. He could talk, but Heero said not to… but he can't. He had to, or he'd go crazy. Duo took a deep breath and plastered on a smile.
"Look, Heero, I…" Duo felt the words die in his throat as his eyes met Heero's intense gaze.
"Uh, Heero?" he said wanting to run away. He'd waited so long for this, but now that Heero was here, he didn't know what to do. Coward, coward, coward…
"Aishiteru, Duo." Heero whispered softly before pulling Duo into his arms. He wanted this for so long, yearned for it.
Old friend, it's nice to feel you hold me again No it doesn't matter where you've been My heart welcomes you home again
"Heero." Duo murmured, wrapping his arms around the other boy. Heero loved him. Still loved him. Loved only him. His most fervent wish had come true. He should thank the gods, all of them. He should thank the stars, the heavens, all the planets, the countless asteroids, the…
"Duo?'
"Nani?" Duo looked up at his koi, eyes shining, grinning from ear to ear. He was so happy, it's like he'd burst. His koi was back, his koi was back, his koi was back…
"I missed you."
Remember those romantic ones we used to take You held my hands in such a way my knees would shake
"Me too." Duo said, giving Duo another blissful smile and a quick peck on the cheek, before hugging him again. "I missed you too Hee-chan."
You can't imagine just how much I've needed you. I've never loved someone as I love you
Heero chuckled softly at hearing Duo's pet name for him. He missed Duo so much. It felt good to be reunited with him. No one was like Duo. No one was as crazy or as weird. And he always made him smile, he was his reason to smile. Life away from his koi was empty, meaningless. Duo was his sun that brightened up everything in his world. He was the on who made his bleak excistence worthwhile. Before, life was nothing but missions. Duo was the one who taught him how to live, how to appreciate things for their worth. And he had learned that none were worth mote than his Duo.
Old friend, this is where our happy ending begins. Yes I'm sure this time we're gonna win. Welcome back into my life again
---
Duo sat in his favorite spot, staring out the window, gazing at the stars. He let out a contented sigh and gazed lovingly at his companion who had his arm draped around him.
"I still can't believe it. You're here with me, holding me and it's not a dream. Man, if this is a dream, I never want to wake up!"
Heero glanced at his companion and smiled mischievously, before pinching Duo, making him yelp in surprise.
"Hey, what the heck was that?"
"Still think this is a dream?" Heero asked, laughing at his companion. Duo just glared at him in mock anger, rubbing the spot he pinched.
"I… I hope not." Duo whispered in a soft voice. Heero looked at him, surprised by the seriousness in his tone. "Heero, onegai, don't leave me again. Onegai, stay with me, don't ever leave."
"I'll never leave you again. I should never have left in the first place."
Yes, I've tried to live my life without you. Knowing I had lost my closest friend. Though I 'm feeling low from time to time. Knowing I would never find the kind of love I had when you were mine.
Duo said nothing, just hugged Heero's arm fiercely, as if afraid to let go. Heero sighed and gathered Duo closer. He should've never let Duo go. He should've never let anything interfere with their relationship. He had been wrong to exchange what they had for other more important things. For none were more important than Duo. How he had endured the loneliness and emptiness without his koi, he didn't know. He had sacrificed what they had and hurt Duo in the process. It was the worst thing he had done. Duo used to be a nuisance with his incessant chatter and crazy antics. He had wanted Duo to leave him alone. But now Duo was everything to him. Now, life without Duo was impossible. He had endured a year without him. He didn't know if he could endure more.
"I'll never leave again."
Duo rewarded him with another smile. Duo's smiles never failed to make his day.
"Dai suki, Heero."
He smiled back. Duo always said he should smile more often. Maybe he should.
"Dai suki."
Welcome back into my life again
--- Owari ---
Author's Notes: This is my first fic… I wrote it after hearing the said song on the radio. I was feeling so down in the dumps, I wrote to cheer myself up. Nice therapy, I should say.
---
"I run and I hide but I never lie"
-- Duo Maxwell
---
yuri-chan