Disclaimer: No. I don't own anything that you recognize as someone else's.
A/N: Okay. Here's another chapter. The Sorting Hat has nothing but bad things to say about everything, including Gryffindor, in this chapter.
A thousand years or more ago
When I was newly sewn
There lived four wizards of renown
Whose name aren't today well-known
Overly confident Gryffindor from wild moor,
Half-wit Ravenclaw from glen
Rude Hufflepuff from valley broad
Stuck-up Slytherin from fen
They used no creativity at all
For they opened up a school
They didn't realize it had been done before
Those poor pathetic fools
Now each of these four founders
Formed their own house for each
Did value different virtues
In the ones they had to teach
By Gryffindor the pranksters
Were prized far beyond the rest
In Ravenclaw the ones with no mind yet high IQ's
Will always be the best
Hufflepuff preferred those who had no vision
And stupid, prejudiced Slytherin
Loved those with evil ambitions.
While still alive they did divide
Their favorites from the throng
But how to choose the worthy ones
When they were dead and gone
'Twas Gryffindor who found the way
and whipped me off his head
The founders tried to put some brains in me
So I could choose instead.
(Unfortunately they had none)
Now I'll tell you where belong
And the Sorting will be done!