Warning: This story is about two flaming homosexuals... AKA SLASH!!! Or slashtastic if you really like. Please do not read this story if you don't like the phrase "Going Down" used between two dead sexy gay guys. Heh heh heh.
Summary: Someone's aim is off...
Reviews: Reviews are welcome with open arms. Please review and let me know what you think. I would really appreciate the feedback. Oh, and please don't flame... I already know I have a sick, demented mind... oh and I forgot again...that I'm a perv. Thanx!
Disclaimer: All the sexy guys in this fic don't belong to me. And all the sexy guys that aren't in this fic don't belong to me either... How the Hell did that happen???
A/N: I would like to thank my great, outstanding, very special BETA reader Regret. She is the best!!! Also I would like to dedicate this story to my best friend Cat "B". She was the inspiration for this story and without her I would have never have wrote it. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is up to you...lol
A Shot in the Dark
(AKA)
"Trouser Snakes"
By
Cadena
RATING: Strong 'R' for sexual content and vulgar language. (My fav.)
Harry and Ron burst into the seventh year dormitory room barely able to keep their hands off each other long enough to magic the door locked. Hastily they made their way over to Harry's bed where they abruptly tumbled into the bed together. Harry's arms were busy trying to close the heavy scarlet drapes all the while trying to get a feel on at the same time, but Ron's arms and hands were trying to do something completely different. They were trying to distract Harry and eventually they succeeded. Harry gave up in his quest for unneeded privacy and began to snog with Ron. Sooner than later their clothes began to impede their explorations of each other and Harry, who was on top of the make out session, got up to undress.
"This is the last time then ehe Ron?" Harry said breathlessly as he fumbled to take off his own robes. Ron was doing the same. "Yeah, the very last time. Cause where not gay right Harry?" Ron had managed to get everything off but his pants.
"Hell no, were not. This is just experimenting. Everyone does it. Trust me Ron, I've seen enough of Seamus' and Dean's experimenting to last me a life time" Harry smirked as he tore away the last bit of clothing from his own body. He stood there starkers and in one swift motion jumped up onto the bed and yelled "Ta-dah!"
Ron stared unabashed at Harry's naked body. Even though he claimed to not be gay, the sight of Harry swinging in the breeze really turned him on. His eyebrows arched in a playful manner and said "Aha! Now it's up to me to solve the mystery of Harry Potter and his disappearing clothes..."
Harry grinned and tried to hold back his laughter and managed to choke out "Is that right?"
"YES! First I have to check every inch of your body for curses!" and he jerked off his pants and boxers and jumped up on the bed, grabbed Harry around the waist and threw him down on the bed. Harry sucked in a breath from surprise, and let himself be turned over onto his back. Above him Ron was licking and biting around his ears and neck. When he reached his chest the sexy redhead looked up and murmured "No taste of curses, maybe it's lower... heh heh heh!" Ron's eyes gleamed with a wicked glow as he licked his way down Harry's writhing athletic stomach until he reached his navel. He looked up again into Harry's toad green eyes and grinned "There's no taste of curses her either, I guess I have to search lower..." and moved to lick Harry's navel once more and tongued the piercing he had there. Harry groaned as Ron decided to move lower and licked his way down Harry's happy trail to his cock.
Harry looked down in anticipation. Ron hovered above Harry's love wand and then slowly lapped his length from bottom to top. Harry gasped out loud.
"I think my super curse sensitive tongue detects something. Just to be sure I'll have to check again." He stroked the tip with his slick tongue and pronounced "Yep, that's cursed. I'll have to suck the poison out," and abruptly took it all in slowly at first, then faster and faster.
Harry moaned in ecstasy and writhed underneath him. Ron loved it and started teasing Harry by using his hand instead of his mouth. "Tell me how much you love this Harry..." He said sensually.
"Oh...Ron... I love this more ... oh yeah... I love this more than quidditch... Please don't...ughhh..tease me....suck it...." Harry said breathlessly.
"I think I'm the one in charge here. I'll suck it after you tell me how much you fancy me..." Ron's started stroking Harry's cock seductively faster. The way he knew Harry liked it.
"Ron please...ughhh... Suck it! I'm about to cum.....Ron!" Harry screamed as he shot out with tremendous force.
"Ahhhh my eye!" Ron screamed and jumped off the bed. "My eye, it burns...Auggghh.!!!" he screamed again as he began to run around the room.
Harry lazily half sat up and chuckled "Well that's a zinger in the binger!" and then busted up with laughter.
"This is serious Harry. It hurts." Ron said as he started stumbling towards the bathroom. Obviously he wasn't watching where he was going because he ran right into one of the trunks near the door, banging his left shin.
"Aughhhh!!!!!" Ron screamed once more, this time jumping up and down on his right leg, holding one hand to his hurt leg and the other to his hurt eye. Harry howled with laughter at the scene before him, shaking violently.
All of a sudden Ron's hopping foot got caught in his discarded golden silk boxers and he fell awkwardly to the floor.
Snap!
Ron cried out in agony and pain. "I think I've broke my ass."
This statement sobered Harry up in an instant. "Your beautiful ass... I've got to get you to Madam Pomfrey right away!" And with that Harry threw on as much clothes as it was necessary to be decent in Hogwarts and then threw his cloak over Ron's naked form and picked him up in his arms and started to run to the infirmary. The entire way Ron was thinking about stories he could tell Madam Pomfrey about how he got his injuries.
I was attacked by clothes stealing fairies....naughhh. Dementors came in my dorm, I fainted and hurt myself in the fall....but how am I going to explain my missing clothes...No way am I going to tell her the truth....
Eventually he decided to tell her that he was getting undressed and a "snake" was in the dormitory and he was running away from it and tripped and fell.
Yeah right... a trouser snake that spit in my eye!
Harry and Ron had only one more hall to cross before they made it home free to the hospital wing.
Thank God we haven't been seen by anybody... Ron thought as the turned around the last corner to the last hall...
"Well, well well....Gay for Pay Potter???" drawled a relaxed Malfoy. He was standing in the middle of the corridor blocking all paths of escape.
"Fuck off Malfoy, and get the hell out of our way!" shouted Harry
"Oh, my bad, maybe it's 'pay for gay' Potter...I should have known since the Weasel here is the one with money problems, and your the one with girl problems, and from the looks of it boy problems too." Draco snickered.
"Shove it where the sun doesn't shine you Slytherin son of a bitch."
"Yeah, I bet you'd like that huh Potter?" Draco said as Harry pushed his way past him. Harry glanced back at the Slytherin and could have sworn he winked at him, but it was too quick to tell.
"Shit, fuck, ass...why of all people we could have run into it was Malfoy?" Ron said when they entered the infirmary.
**************************
A few days later Harry went to see Ron in the hospital wing. He had brought him a present.
"Ohhhh cool Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, my favorite" said Ron enthusiastically and he tore open the package.
"Their 'adult flavor.' I got them from one of the specialty shops in Hogsmead. I thought you'd like them," said Harry deviously wagging his dashing eyebrows.
Ron popped on in his mouth and after a few seconds he spit it out with a nasty scowl on his face...."Yuck!"
"What's wrong Ron?" asked Harry.
"Ewe....pussy flavored, that's not good."
Harry burst out laughing at the fiery redhead so much that he fell to the ground and barely managed to chock out "Well that'll kick you in your rumpers."
"Shut up, you know this whole week has just sucked ass, but in a bad way. I mean not only did I get shot in the eye and almost go blind, I broke my ass too, AND I didn't get any either." Ron said looking over at Harry who was still shaking with amusement. Eventually Harry was able to stand. He walked back over to Ron's bed.
"Well, you wanted to solve the mystery buddy!" teased Harry arching one eyebrow while sweeping his eyes up and down Ron's half-naked body. As he met Ron's eyes he winked playfully at him. "You know I fancy the pants off you Ron Weasley."
"Yeah, that's what got me into this much trouble in the first place." Ron groaned. "So up for some more experimenting when I get out of here?" he added. Harry replied "Damn straight!.....or most likely not...." Ron laughed "Yeah, I know what you mean."
THE END?