Disclaimer: Angel and all related characters are the property of Mutant Enemy Productions, Inc., Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises and Twentieth Century-Fox Television. No copyright infringement is intended. This work of fiction is for entertainment purposes only and no money has changed hands. The story and all original characters are the sole property of the author and may not be used or archived without permission.

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews! I know it might be confusing at first but the trick is to not think too hard about either show. Just concentrate on this being Cordy!

Cordy!

By Darrin Colbourne

Scene Two:

The next morning Beth and Tucker, members of Cordy's writing team, are in the Writers' "Bullpen" at Mutant Enemy Productions. The room is furnished with four desks with flatscreen desktop computers, a round meeting table, various file cabinets and office equipment and Buffy posters on the walls, each bearing a different likeness of Sarah. Beth, a 22-year-old newcomer from Iowa, and Tucker, a 26-year-old African-American from Philadelphia who's been with the show for three seasons, are seated at the meeting table going over a new story treatment as their 16-year-old intern Nigel walks in with coffee. Cordy rushes in and heads straight to her desk and starts looking for something in the drawers. Beth and Tucker smile at her.

"Hey, Idea Girl!" Tucker says. "How's it going up there?"

Cordy pauses for a moment and smiles back. "Great, Tucker, just great! Hinton loves Joss, Joss loves Hinton, they both love the idea of working on the musical together...it's just one big scary love-fest up there! I just came down to get some ideas I jotted down last week."

As Cordy resumes her search, Beth says "This is going to be a great episode all around!" This makes Cordy pause and she and Tucker look at her strangely. "I mean it! This could start a whole new trend. I mean this time around it's Hinton Battle, but maybe we could do another musical with someone like Christian Kane, or Mandy Moore...or maybe not a whole musical, but one dance number with a big music or dance star. That we could do every now and then, like every three or four episodes!"

Cordy and Tucker just keep looking at her for a moment, then Tucker says "So, your idea of improving the series is turning 'Buffy, The Vampire Slayer' into 'The Drew Carey Show'?"

Cordy shakes her head and resumes her search. "Beth, we're not doing this again! It'll be torture enough listening to Sarah, Allyson and everybody else mangle the melody that will go with the tortuous lyrics Joss is writing once. If we inflict a show like this on the fans every month they'll stab wooden stakes through our hearts!"

"Excuse me, Ms. Chapman," Nigel says, "but if you don't like the episode, why do you care about it succeeding so much?"

"I care about me succeeding, Nigel," she says, "so if I have to find the perfect guest star and be a cheerleader for one of the worst concepts we've ever developed just to make sure my star rises, then hand me my pom-poms and call me Miss Talent Scout!" She pulls some typed pages out of a drawer. "Here we go!"

As she gets ready to leave, the last member of the team, 24-year-old Martin, rushes into the "Bullpen" with a frantic look on his face. He goes immediately to Cordy's desk.

"Cordy! We've got problems!"

"What? Did one of the demons break her nail and rush off to the manicurist?" She chuckles.

"Worse! It's Sarah!"

"Sarah's always worse. You've got to be more specific."

"Okay, how about this? She did a 'Keri Russell'!"

"Excuse me?"

"Hello, everyone!" Sarah sings as she enters with a big grin. She does a couple of turns to display her new do, which is almost shoulder length. "Don't you just love it?"

Cordy doesn't. Her eyes are wide open and her throat is caught. Finally she manages to breathe: "You cut your hair!"

"Uh-huh! Isn't it great?" Sarah says.

This time Cordy says it through her teeth. "YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!"

"Uh, yeah. Know that. There when it happened."

"Sarah! You can't just up and cut your hair! It's the middle of the season! How are we supposed to explain Buffy all of a sudden having short hair??"

"Just figure out an excuse for it in the script for Episode 11."

"We're in the middle of filming EPISODE TEN!! When Joss finds out he's gonna freak! You are in sooo much trouble!"

"Actually, I already showed it to Joss. I showed him in his office just before he went to a meeting with...'Hinky Batton' or somebody."

Cordy puts her head in her hand. "'Hinton Battle', you bimbo eruption!" She looks at Sarah. "I bet Joss read you the riot act, didn't he?"

"No, we talked and he decided he loved it! So there!" Sarah says, then sticks her tongue out at Cordy.

"But he wouldn't have done that to us unless...you threatened to walk out on your contract, didn't you?"

"And I cried. Never underestimate the persuasiveness of a good cry."

Martin manages to keep Cordy from lunging at Sarah and trying to strangle the actress, but just barely. Tucker jumps up to lend him a hand. "Whoa! Hold on, sweetheart!" Tucker says to Cordy. "Take it easy. Okay, first thing: You need to get your money back on those Anger Management courses!"

"Y'know, I don't see what the problem is!" Sarah says, trying to keep away from Cordy. "Your hair is short!"

"I think your hair is beautiful like that, Ms. Gellar." Nigel says, longingly. Sarah immediately perks up and gives him a wide grin.

"Why, thank you," she says patting her hair up. "You're very observant."

Cordy relaxes enough so that Martin and Tucker can relax their grip, but she hits Nigel with an icy stare. "Nigel," she says, "wipe the drool off your chin and keep your mouth shut!" She then straightens herself up as the men let her go. "The problem, Sarah, is that nobody tunes in every Tuesday to see MY hair." She points to the posters as she continues. "They tune in to see HER hair, and HER hair, and HER hair, all whipping around while she kills some vampires and necks with others, but now they can't see that because the woman who portrays her now looks like Rachel Leigh Cook in 'Josie and the Pussycats'!!"

Sarah just looks at her for a minute, then says "You are so high strung. Maybe a day at a great spa will help. You should come with me when I take a break from filming next week."

"Wait...you know when you'll be taking a break a week in advance?" Beth says.

"You misunderstand. I'm taking the week off from filming. Toodles!" She smiles and leaves, and Martin and Tucker feel it's safe to take their eyes off of Cordy for a moment.

"I swear," she growls, "next week, the vampire WINS!!"

"You swear that every week, Cordy." Tucker says.

"Yeah, but THIS week I'm going out to find a real one!" She shakes her head then rushes out. "I've got to get back to the meeting."

"Say hello to 'Hinky' for us!" Beth jokes. The look she gets is a warning that Cordy is not amused.

When Cordy is gone, Martin looks right at Beth and says "So...not interested in being able to walk anymore, huh?" This makes Tucker laugh and makes Beth and Nigel nervous...

Cue Bumper Music, Scene fades out