Disclaimer: Angel and all related characters are the property of Mutant Enemy Productions, Inc., Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises and Twentieth Century-Fox Television. No copyright infringement is intended. This work of fiction is for entertainment purposes only and no money has changed hands. The story and all original characters are the sole property of the author and may not be used or archived without permission.

Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay. Ironically, I started this because I thought it would be fun and quick to write, but I got hung up with other stuff. Enjoy, and keep up the feedback!

Cordy!

By Darrin Colbourne

Scene Three:

The meeting is over and Cordy is escorting Hinton and his agent Morris out through a reception area. They pass by receptionists and other visitors milling around as they discuss the musical. "...And we should have the spoken portions of the script banged out by next week," Cordy is saying as they walk through a dark wood-paneled hallway and end up by a bathroom door. "Here we go. This is the Executive Washroom."

Tucker comes down the hall from the other direction as Hinton notices the sign on the door has both "Men" and "Women" symbols. "It's Unisex." He says.

"Yes, it is." Cordy says, smiling. "It's the latest trend with office buildings nowadays."

"Yeah," Tucker says, "it's amazing how quickly a trend like that will spread when the building owners and the architects realize they only have to pay for half the usual number of working toilets."

Cordy turns to Tucker, still smiling, but hissing through her teeth: "Tucker, don't make me hurt you." Then she turns back to Hinton and talks normally. "It's closed to the public, but I have a key. I can just let you in and you'll be all set."

"While you're in there, Hinton," Morris says, "I'll try to get in touch with Sidney and we'll figure out how to publicize this for you."

"Good idea, Morris." Hinton says as Cordy unlocks the bathroom and opens the door.

"Let me know if you need help with anything." Cordy says as he enters.

"I think he's used one of these things once or twice." Tucker says, causing Hinton to smile and Morris to chuckle as he turns on his cell phone. Only Cordy isn't amused, and she lets Tucker know it with a glare.

"I'll be fine." Hinton says as he closes the door behind him. Cordy nods, then shakes her finger at Tucker with a scolding look on her face.

Morris looks at his cell phone in confusion, then says to Cordy: "The cell must be down. Is there a phone here I can use?"

"Sure," Cordy says, "my office is nearby." She points as she gives directions. "Go right at the end of this hall, through the glass doors, then it's on the right. Dial '9' to get an outside line."

"Thanks. Tell Hinton where I am if I don't get back before he's out." With that Morris leaves Cordy and Tucker alone in the hall, giving Cordy a chance to vent.

"What are you doing out here," Cordy whines, "and what are you trying to do to me??"

"I just wanted to use the john." Tucker says. "I didn't know emptying my bladder would disrupt the great karmic chess game that is your career."

Cordy looks confused for a second, then gives an embarrassed chuckle. "I've been really bad, haven't I?"

"I've seen worse." He says. "The day you pitched the 'Buffy dies while fighting the Valley Girl Goddess' idea you sweated enough to douse the brush fires in Northern California."

"True," She says, "but seeing Sarah laying there like a corpse was a great payoff. Look, I know I'm obsessing a little, but if this works out I may have singlehandedly saved what could have been one of the corniest episodes we've ever done. A professional singer/dancer is going to really bring out the best in the rest of the cast, and really accentuate Joss's lyrics. This is going to be one of the high points of my career, the episode where Cordy Chapman stepped up to the plate and gave the series one of its biggest hits!"

There's a pause as Cordy smiles, picturing the glory in her head, then Tucker says: "You realize you won't get an ounce of credit for it..."

Cordy immediately comes down to Earth. "Of course I won't." She says. "You know, I wish I could parlay a second-rate box-office flop starring has been actors into a multi-million-dollar media empire, that includes a long-running series, book tie-ins, video games, soundtracks, comic books, action figures and all the adulation the drooling masses can heap on a little nerd with a cheerleaders-and-fangs fetish. Then I could be the one on all the talk shows, getting big screenplay contracts, and suing all those little urchins that write fanfiction based on my stuff! But NOOOO! I get to be the galley slave of that self-same nerd, running his errands, letting him take credit for my genius, and playing 'babysitter' for his star, 'Sarah: the Staff-Writer Torturer'!"

"Cooooo-rrrdy!" Sarah's voice calls out as she trots down the hall toward Cordy and Tucker.

"And speak of the demon!" Cordy says as Sarah comes to an almost-stop right in front of her. Sarah can barely stand still, crossing her legs, bobbing up and down and rubbing her hands on her thighs. "What's the matter?" Cordy says as she watches.

Sarah answers in a rush. "Long script-read...too much bottled water...wetting pants...give me your key!"

Cordy looks exasperated. "Sarah! Joss has given you like five of the things! What did you do with the latest one?"

"Oh, I don't know! Maybe I lost it in some girl's hair when I was practicing for the kissing scene in 'Cruel Intentions'!"

"Well, what were you doing? Trying to heighten the experience by 'keying' your name in her scalp?"

"C'mon, Cordy," Tucker says, "give the girl a break."

"Yeah," Sarah says, "give the girl a break! I'd do the same for you."

"No you wouldn't." Cordy says. "In fact, you didn't. Remember that time last month when I begged you for your key?"

"I couldn't help that! I would have let you use my key! I just couldn't find it!"

"Yeah, there was no real harm done." Tucker says.

"That's easy for you to say." Cordy says, then adds wistfully. "I really liked those stretch pants."

Sarah's exasperated as she says: "Cordy, I'll buy you a thousand pairs of stretch pants and the plastic surgery to make them look great if you will pleeeeeeeze let me use your key before I erupt!"

Cordy looks disgusted but gives in. "Fine!" She says as she hands over the key. "But don't--"

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" Sarah says as she snatches the key and tries to open the door. She rattles it around for a second or two, then freezes. "Uh-oh..." She says.

"What's 'Uh-oh' ?!" Cordy says.

Sarah talks to Tucker as she rises up slowly. "Um, Tucker, do you have a key? Preferably one that's long and really, really skinny?" She turns to face them as she stands with her legs crossed, and holds up the head of Cordy's key.

Cordy snatches it from her and glares at it. "You broke the key in the lock!"

"Um...yeah, kinda." Sarah says, sheepishly.

Then Cordy turns on her and growls through her teeth: "You broke the KEY IN THE LOCK!!"

It's difficult for Sarah to back away without opening her legs, but she manages to get a few paces before Tucker moves to calm Cordy down. "Okay, let's not panic. All we have to do is call Building Maintenance and they'll send someone to fix the lock. In the meantime, if Sarah can hold out, we just have to wait until--"

Tucker is cut off by the sound of someone trying to open the bathroom door. A few rattles show that the door is locked shut. There's a knock from the other side, making everyone look toward the bathroom.

"Hello!" Hinton calls from the inside. "Is something wrong out there? I think this door is jammed."

Sarah shrinks back as Tucker and Cordy turn back and glare at her, with Cordy looking ready to kill.

"Nice going, Blondie!" Cordy says. "You just locked our big guest star in the bathroom!"

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