CHAPTER 34

A DEADLY DECEPTION

"Well, that wasn't so tough," Cloud declared as Agrias, Mustadio and he wandered through the green mists. "What do we do now?"

"I guess we find the others," Mustadio suggested.

"No duh," Agrias snorted. "But where ARE the-"

Agrias's question was answered when she collided with Worker No.8. "HEY! Watch where you're going!" she yelled at the machine.

"Apologies, master," Worker No.8 beeped as he bowed to Agrias.

"We're all here..." Meliadoul said as her party appeared.

"I guess we made it," Rafa said as Malak and she emerged from the mist.

"How is everyone?" Orlandu asked as Alicia, Lavian and he revealed themselves.

"We're all OK," Alma said as Rad, Ramza and she showed up.

"Good, it looks like everyone's all right," Ramza said.

"Those Lucavi didn't have a prayer," Cinna chuckled.

"If only you knew the irony in that sentence," Orlandu chuckled.

Just then, the mists faded away again, and the party found themselves in what looked like a dark cave. "Hey, what gives?!" Malak yelled.

"Is this another battle?" Reis asked.

"Ajora DID say there were six guardians," Ramza said. "We just got rid of five, so..."

"Ramza!!!"

Everyone looked ahead to see Queen Ovelia running towards them.

"Ovelia..." Ramza gasped.

"Your majesty!" Agrias cried.

"I'm glad to see you're all OK..." Ovelia said.

"I guess we didn't fail after all," Rafa said.

"Now, let's get out of here!" Ovelia suggested.

"Hold on," Orlandu said. "We have to get rid of Ajora first."

"Oh, why do you want to get rid of him?" Ovelia asked. "He's a nice guy!"

"..." Ramza said.

"Hmm?..." Meliadoul asked.

"Nice?!" Rad asked. "Where have you been?!"

"...What's your middle name?" Agrias asked Ovelia suddenly.

"What?" Ovelia asked.

"What's your middle name?" Agrias repeated the question.

"Ummmm... Rupert?" Ovelia asked.

"...You're not Ovelia," Agrias growled, drawing her sword. "Just a cheap impostor."

"Oh, nuts!" Ovelia growled. "I guess it didn't work. Oh, well..."

Ovelia shimmered for a moment and became a knight clad in dark-brown armor with a long, white moustache. "I guess I'll have to kill you all anyway!"

"Gafgarion!" Ramza growled, drawing his sword.

"Ahh!" Rad cried. "Boss, it's my old boss!"

"No one's getting past here without going through me first," Gafgarion growled as he drew his Ancient Sword.

"It'll be my pleasure," Agrias growled. "Anyone who impersonates the queen is looking for a fight!"

"Get ready!" Ramza said. Ramza, Rad, Agrias, Mustadio and Alma separated from the rest of the group and faced Gafgarion.

"NIGHT SWORD!!!" Gafgarion yelled as his dark attack sent the party flying.

"Owww!" Alma cried as she crashed against the rock wall. "That really hurt!"

"You louse!" Agrias yelled. "You'll pay for this!"

"Take this!" Mustadio yelled as he fired his gun. Gafgarion blocked each shot with his sword.

"He's tougher now than before," Ramza noted. "Be careful, everyone."

"I have some new attacks, too..." Gafgarion mused. "RAIJINGEKI!!!"

Ramza was blown backwards as Gafgarion stabbed him with an electrically-charged sword.

"Man, he IS pretty rough," Cinna exclaimed as he helped Ramza to his feet.

"Lightning Stab!" Agrias yelled as she fired the shocking blast. Gafgarion sidestepped it with ease.

"ENSUZIAN!!!" Gafgarion yelled as he began to spin around like a saw blade. He collided with Agrias and knocked her against the wall.

"So you have some fancy-pants Japanese attacks," Mustadio muttered. "That won't help you! LEG AIM!!!"

The blast stopped Gafgarion dead in his tracks. "You forget that my attacks can be fired from a distance!" Gafgarion laughed. "NIGHT SWORD!"

The devilish attack threw Mustadio backwards and he collided with Alma, which knocked both of them out.

"You!..." Ramza growled, charging at Gafgarion. One Raijingeki was all it took to bring Ramza to his knees.

"Ha! Looks like I'm about to win!" Gafgarion laughed.

"You forgot about me, ex-Boss!" Rad said as he stepped forward.

"Oh, like I'm scared of you, peewee," Gafgarion snorted. "I'll kick your butt, too!"

"You should be scared," Rad said. "I've learned more from Ramza than I ever did from you. Like this! WISH!"

Rad held up his hand, and half of his energy was sent to Ramza, who got back up and charged at Gafgarion.

"What the?!" Gafgarion roared. "You learned THAT?!"

"Believe it, Buster," Ramza said as he sent his Chaos Blade right through Gafgarion's stomach. The grizzled warrior gaped in shock.

"Don't think this is the end, Ramza!" he spluttered as he hacked up black blood. "I... will... haunt... you... until... the... day... you... die..."

Rays of light began to shoot out of Gafgarion's body and he disintegrated. Ramza sheathed his sword and looked at Rad. "Thanks, Rad," he said.

"No problem, boss!" Rad said.

"Stop calling me boss," Ramza said again with a cross sigh.

"OK... Ramza," Rad said, rolling the name around in his mouth.

"Good thinking, Agrias," Mustadio said as he helped her up. "We wouldn't have known that was an impostor if it wasn't for you."

"Aww, go on," Agrias chuckled, waving her hand and blushing.

"By the way, what IS Ovelia's middle name?" Alma asked.

"...Promise you won't tell?" Agrias asked. "It's a royal family secret."

"We promise," everyone said at the same time.

"...It's Latrine," Agrias said quickly.

"...Latrine?!" Rafa asked.

"Latrine," Agrias repeated.

There was a brief moment of silence. Then, everyone started laughing hysterically. Reis fell on the ground and rolled around, clutching her belly and laughing as hard as Beowulf.

"AAAAHH HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!" Cloud laughed. "LATRINE! WHAAAA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAAAAHHHH!!!"

"Heh heh heh... Don't laugh..." Agrias giggled, trying hard to contain her own laughter but failing. "...Oh, who'm I kidding? AAAAA-HAAAA-HAAAAAA!!!"

"How'd she get that kind of a middle name, anyway?!" Cinna asked.

"When she was a baby, she fell into one!" Agrias sniggered. "Not a water one, mind you. A hole in the ground! It took 'em HOURS to get her out! HEEE HEEE HEEEE!!!"

"Ha. Ha. Ha," Worker No.8 laughed in his usual monotone voice.

And so, the group sat there laughing for a good fifteen minutes before things calmed down.

"OK, what were we doing again?" Meliadoul asked.

"That's right... We have to deal with Ajora," Ramza said, standing up. "But..."

"What, Ramza?" Rafa asked.

"I don't know if I should ask you all to come with me," Ramza said. "I feel like you're all my responsibility. I mean, look at you... You've all been branded heretics because of me, and if we all go up against Ajora, I'm afraid some of you might..."

"Come on, Ramza," Mustadio said. "We've had this conversation before, remember? It was right before we went into Murond Death City..."

(Flashback)

The party stood at the entrance to Orbonne Monastery, where Vormav and his Temple Knights had fled. The sky was darkening as evening approached, and storm clouds hovered low in the atmosphere. Thunder could be heard in the distance.

"This is it... We'll finally see what Vormav's up to..." Ramza said as he observed the grim building.

"Well, what're you waiting for, Ramza? Let's get going!" Agrias said as she put her hand on the hilt of her sword.

Ramza shook his head sadly. "Not you guys. I want you all to go home. This isn't your fight."

"What?..." Reis asked.

"I don't want Vormav taking out his rage on you guys," Ramza said, turning his back on the others. "Go on home. I'll be fine."

The others looked at each other worriedly and got into a huddle. After about thirty seconds of mumbling, they all turned around and looked at Ramza.

"...Sorry, Ramza. We can't do that," Rafa said, shaking her head.

"What?! But-" Ramza objected.

Rad held up his hand. "Look around, Boss," he said. "You've got a lot of people here that don't even HAVE homes anymore. Orlandu can't go home, and neither can Agrias. Meliadoul doesn't have a home either, and Worker No.8 doesn't have anything."

"I don't want you all involved!" Ramza said, stomping his foot. "I don't want to see my friends hurt!"

"Duh! We're ALREADY involved, Beoulve!" Meliadoul snorted.

"Besides, Ramza. You're our friend too, you know," Mustadio piped up.

Ramza stood and looked at the group silently.

Mustadio broke the silence by holding up his gun and loading it. "...And any enemy of a friend's is an enemy of mine!" he finished. "That's why I'm coming with you, whether you like it or not!"

"That goes for all of us," Cloud said as he readied his Materia Blade.

"You've protected us," Rafa said as she spun her Octagon Rod around. "Now it's time for us to protect you..."

"We're friends, Ramza. We've gotta share the good times and the bad," Beowulf added.

The others that hadn't said anything shouted in agreement.

Ramza smiled. "...You guys... Thanks... To tell you the truth, I was hoping you'd all stay..." he said, trying to hide the fact that his voice was cracking.

"That's the spirit! Now, let's go kick Vormav's sorry butt!" Malak yelled. Everyone held their weapons up and gave a loud battle cry before they charged into the monastery.

(End Flashback)

"...Yeah..." Ramza said. "Sorry about that. I have to remember that you guys WANT to fight beside me. All right! Let's go!"

"We're gonna get rid of that wannabe saint for good this time!" Beowulf said.

"Let's kick his keister back to the stone age!" Malak shouted.

"We can do it if we work together..." Rafa said.

"YES! Let's go!!!" Agrias yelled. The group started forwards when Ramza called for everyone to stop.

"What's wrong, Ramza?" Alma asked.

"I just want to thank each and every one of you," Ramza said. "You guys are the best friends a heretic could ever have."

"Awww," Reis said. "He's so sweet!"

Rafa smiled warmly at Ramza.

"All right, we can go now," Ramza said as the group picked up the hike again.

"Hold on a minute!" Mustadio said as he looked off to the side. A strange object was lying on the ground in the cave.

"What's up, Mustadio?" Cinna asked.

"Look at this," Mustadio said as he knelt down and picked up the object. It was a strange mask with burning, yellow eyes and spikes jutting out from the side.

"What is it?" Alicia asked.

"Does it have a label?" Lavian asked.

"Hmmm..." Mustadio hummed as he turned the mask over and looked on the other side. "Ah! It has some words written inside of it," he announced.

"What does it say?" Agrias asked.

"...'Ajora's Mask,'" Mustadio concluded. The sound of the usual comedy drum flourish could be heard from somewhere.

"Hoo boy..." Beowulf said as he smacked himself in the head. "We're gonna get it for that one."

Everyone waited. The network censor didn't appear. "...What? What's the deal?" Cinna asked.

"Oh, I give up!" the censor yelled angrily as she packed her suitcase and walked out of the office. "Stupid video game characters... I've no sympathy at all."