Note from Akari: Hello again and thank you all so very much for
reviewing!!! Here is (the hopefully long awaited) episode 2, with FFVIII!!!
Enjoy!!
There is some use of pornography in here... Heh heh heh...
THERE IS A LARGE SPOILER IN HERE, but I'm marking it. Try to skip it if you want.
As I mentioned before, I have some... Okay, most... Okay, three fourths of the titles of the games wrong. Excuse that.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything I'm using, but I'm using everything I don't own. *gets dragged away* What did I do?...
EPISODE 2: FINAL FANTASY VIII
Akari is on the Who's Line Is It, Anyway? set, sitting in Drew Carey's chair.
Akari: Welcome back! If you have seen (...or read) the FFVII Whose Line episode, then enjoy the FFVIII version! But if you haven't, what are you thinking? Go back a chapter and read it right now or I'll kill you! I will!
A man in a shirt that says 'SECURITY' on it walks up to Akari.
Akari: Oops... Nevermind. Oh, and, enjoy.
The guy walks away. Drew Carey arrives and looks at Akari evily.
Akari: What?
Drew: I want my set back.
Akari: Hey, we had a deal! I can have it for a week!
Drew's eye twitches.
Akari: Uh...
Akari holds up a wad of Monopoly 100 dollar bills. Drew smiles, grabs them, and runs away.
Drew: Sucker!!
Akari: Heh heh heh... Hope I don't get arrested again. Anyways, let's go to our first scene.
Scene goes over to Squall, Zell, and Irvine in Squall's dorm.
Squall: Um, what are we doing here?
Zell: I dunno.
Irvine: The author probably put us here.
Akari appears in a blue glitter.
Akari: Are you guys bored?
Zell: ...You put here, didn't you?
Akari: Yep, to get you all bored. *smiles Anime-style, eyes squinting and teeth showing* Anyways, let's play a game. We're gonna do the BACHELORS game! We need a girl, though...
Akari zaps Ellone onto the set.
Ellone: Huh?... What am I doing here?
Akari: Eeek! Ellone, put on a robe!
Ellone looks down and realizes she's in her very revealing nightgown.
Ellone: Aaaah!
Akari: Were you sleeping? It's only 12 midnight, you know.
Ellone: No, I wasn't sleeping. I was actually in a strip club a moment ago.
Akari: ...
Ellone: ...
Akari: ...Really?
Ellone: No, you idiot! Of course I was sleeping!
Akari: Hmph. Since you're so mean, you'll have to play the BACHELOR game in your nightgown.
Zell: Yeah!
Irvine: Thanks, Akari!
Squall: Hey, let's have Ellone strip!!
Akari smacks Squall on the head.
***SPOILER ABOUT ELLONE BELOW***
Akari: She's your sister!!
Squall: Not legally.
Akari: Actually, she is.
Squall: Oh, @#$%.
***Okay, spoiler over. Now read or die.***
Akari: Anyways, Ellone, go over and sit in that chair.
Ellone: What is this exactly?
Akari: A chair.
Ellone: No, what are we doing?
Akari: Playing the BACHELOR game. We have Ellone interview the guys, while they try to be someone from a videogame. (Yeah, I'm changing it a little.)
Ellone sits in the chair. Akari hands a slip of paper to each guy. Squall's imitation is Kasume from Dead Or Alive 1-3, Zell is Pikachu from the Pokemon games, and Irvine is Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid.
Akari: Okay, Ellone, you'll be making up stupid questions. Begin!
Ellone: Kay, Bachelor One, I like men who exercize a lot and build up their muscles. What do you do?
Squall: Look here, lady, first of all, I'm a woman. Second, I like to fight.
Ellone: Fight? Demonstrate.
Squall gets up and starts to kick at the camera screen.
Camera Man: Ha, that's nothing.
Squall gets mad and starts to kick the Camera Man in the crotch.
Camera Man: ...Ow! Help me!!
Akari: Squall...
Squall stops and sits down. He smiles Anime-style.
Ellone: Alrighty... Bachelor Two, what is your favorite food?
Zell: Um... Pika pika?
Ellone: ...
Zell: Pika pikachu... Pokemon food.
Ellone: I've got no idea what you're talking about. Bachelor Three, what kind of women do you like?
Irvine: Well, I like lotsa women. Red hair, Chinese ladies, those freaky ones who smoke...
Ellone: Okaaaaaaay, thank you. Bachelor One, what kind of women do you like?
Squall: I told you, I am a woman. But I like the ladies who wouldn't mind sharing make-up tips with me.
Ellone: Erm...
Squall: Oh, do you have some tips for me? Ayane was the only one nice enough to actually give me one, but she told me to get a life, which wasn't very helpful, but...
Ellone: Here's a tip. Let's move on.
Squall: Give me a make-up tip or I'll kill you!!
Ellone: Ha ha ha... Bachelor Two, where do you take your dates?
Zell: Pika pika! To the Pokemon Center! Pika pika!
Ellone: ...I'll just ignore this one. Where do you take your dates, Bachelor Three?
Irvine: I like that place where you shoot things.
Ellone: You mean a police training center?
Irvine: No, the place where there are lots of wars and you gotta use stealth and you can shoot bosses.
Ellone: ...Bachelor One, tell me about where you live.
Squall: I can't. I don't live anywhere.
Ellone: Where do you usually spend time, then?
Squall: In a fighting ring.
Ellone: Hmm... Bachelor Three?
Irvine: *wakes up* Huh? What? Fire? Nooooo!! FIRE!! RUN, EVERYONE!
Ellone: No, it's--
Zell: Pika, you skipped my turn, pika!
Squall: You're gonna pay for skipping this retard's turn!
Squall starts to kick high into the air... Very, VERY high.
Ellone: ...
Ellone smacks her own forehead.
Akari: Okay, that's enough! The game's over!
The Chaos stops.
Somewhere in the FFVII world...
Vincent: Huh? Chaos?
Okay, back to FFVIII.
Akari: Who do you think they were trying to be?
Ellone: Um... Squall is Zell, Zell is some kind of freak from Digimon, and Irvine is the fat guy from Lunar II?
Akari: ...That's all wrong.
Squall: Okay, first of all... I could have been Zell, since he's a kickboxing woman,--
Zell: ...That's right!
Squall: ...but I'm Kasume from the DOA games.
Zell: Okay, what the @#$% gave you the idea that I was a Digimon?! I was a @#$%ing Pokemon! There is a difference, you know. Those evil Digimon are the ones who don't say 'pika pika' and answer things like 'Pokemon center' and 'Pokemon food'!
Ellone: Erm... Cunno.
Zell: Cunno?
Ellone: Oops, I mean... Sorry. I don't even know what a cunno is.
Akari: Heh heh heh... I've been playing FFX.
Ellone: Eh?
Akari: Nevermind. Irvine?
Irvine: Well, I can see why you guessed Borgan from Lunar II, but I'm Solid Snake. But you know, they do have a lot in common.
Ellone: Well... I guess one out of three isn't bad.
Akari: Gosh, Ellone, you suck.
Akari zaps Ellone back to the strip club.
At a strip club...
Ellone: Uh oh... Akari believed me!
A fat guy comes by Ellone.
Borgan: Hey, wanna dance?
Ellone: ...AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Back to the set.
Akari: Well, that was interesting. Let's have a commercial break now.
^^^COMMERCIAL^^^
Anouncer: Hey, all you @#$%ing kids out there! If you're under 13 @#$%ing years old, then turn off your @#$%ing TV right now, cause you're about to see... Some @#$%ing awesome @#$%!!! Welcome to Final @#$%ing Fantasy IX!!! We have our @#$%ing hero, Zidane Tribal...
Zidane comes on the screen. The fans standing outside boo.
Anouncer: And of course, that @#$%ing Vivi.
Vivi comes on the screen. The fans boo.
Anouncer: And our @#$%ing Princess?
Dagger comes on the screen. The fans boo.
Anouncer: Why, you @#$%ing fans! What did you come here for, anyway?
Three fans pull down their pants. On the first one's butt is a C, on the second one's butt is an I, and on the third one's butt is a D.
Anouncer: Why, Cid... That's my @#$%ing name! Thanks, you @#$%ing fans!
Backstage guy: Um Mr. Highwind? They said we're not allowed to film live commercials anymore.
Anouncer: ...Oh, @#$%^&*@#$%^&*#$%^&*@$#$%^&*@#$%^&*--
Backstage guy: That's enough!
Anouncer: Wait, I'm not done. And now I gotta start over! Oh well... #@#$%^&&^%@#$%^&@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^@!#@$%^&@#$%^&@#$%^!!!!!!!!!
^^^END OF COMMERCIAL^^^
Akari is on the Who's Line set.
Akari: Erm... They gotta fire that Cid. Maybe hire the one from FFIX that keeps calling Princess Garnet a whore and me a 'Weird Tifa Resembling Sorceress Lady'? Oh, we're back! Let's check out what the girls are doing!
Akari dissapears and appears in SeeD Garden Dorms. Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie are huddled in a corner.
Akari: Watcha got there?
Rinoa shields the thing they're holding.
Rinoa: Sorry, we can't show you.
Akari: ...I am the infamous ~Tifa~!! I shall kill you if you don't hand that over!!
Quistis: *sweatdrop* Um... Let's just give it to her.
Rinoa: ...Okay.
Rinoa hands over the object. It's a photo album full of...
Akari: *gasps* Pornography of the male SeeDs!!
Selphie: Hey... We would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about this.
Akari starts laughing.
Akari: You girls are so pathetic! I've got much better pornography over here...
Akari opens her cape and pulls a little book out of her pocket. She opens it and shows it Quistis, Rinoa, and Selphie.
Quistis: Who are all these naked 30 year old men?
Akari: Actually, they're not 30. That guy with the red eyes is 27, that guy with the cool hair's 21, and that one with the cigar in his mouth... Okay, 32.
Selphie: Eeew...
Rinoa: Okay, you've taught us a lesson. We'll stop this illegal porn usage.
Akari: Well, girls, I wasn't trying to teach you a--Huh? This is illegal?
Quistis: Uh oh...
Selphie: You're not the police, are you?
Akari: Me? Of course not... I don't even have an affliate with the Sector 7 Female Butt Kicker Officers...
Akari closes her cape and hides her Sector 7 Female Butt Kicker Officer badge.
Rinoa: Good. Anyways, what are you doing here?
Akari: Well, you all know me. Remember?
Rinoa: Hmm... Christmas Chaos?
Akari: Yep. *beams*
Rinoa: Oh, the fanfic where you let Squall have a monkey named BOOB?
Akari: Right.
Quistis: We won't ask.
Selphie: Anyways...
Akari: We're gonna play a game called TWISTER!!!
Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Akari: Just kidding. We're playing the FOREIGN LANGUAGE game!
Rinoa: Yay! I can speak Latin, you know.
Akari: That's nice, but--
Rinoa:
Excitate vos e somno,
Liberi mei cunnae sunt non,
Excitate vos e somno,
Liberi fatali somnusna est non!
Akari: ...
Rinoa: ...
Akari: Anyways, we need a foreign language from the audience!
Random audience members: Latin! Latin! Latin! Latin! Russian! Latin! Latin! Latin! Latin!
Akari: Hmm... I'll go with Russian.
Rinoa: Oh, @#$%...
Audience: Boooo!!!!
Akari: Too bad. Now, we need one more person onstage...
Rinoa: I can pick!
Akari: Well, I hope you're not drunk on sake.
Rinoa: Um... I'm not...
Akari: Cause last time...
Rinoa goes to the audience. She finds someone and comes back out. The person looks just like...
Akari: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Seifer, what are you doing here?!
Seifer: Um... Well, I sure wasn't trying to blow stuff up.
Seifer hides the explosive he's holding behind his back.
Rinoa: Seifer! Are you having that problem with exploding things again?
Seifer: No, how dare you!
Akari: Anyways, let's play. I'll give you a scene to start with. Rinoa and Seifer are on a date at the Gold Saucer and Rinoa is drunk on sake.
Rinoa: Wait, I have two things to say... 1.) What's the Gold Saucer? and 2.) I'm already drunk on sake, even though I said I wasn't before.
Akari: 1.) It's an amusement park. 2.) Good, you won't have to pretend.
Rinoa: ...Uh, yeah.
Akari: Selphie will do Seifer's translation and Rinoa will be done by Quistis. By the way, Rinoa, why aren't you talking all weirdly like most people do when they're drunk?
Rinoa: Um... Ish thish better?
Akari: Yep, but Quistis will have to be talking that way.
Quistis: Aw, man...
Akari: Okay, begin!
Rinoa: Øâóü òô åùå!
**Quistis: Let'sh go on thatsh ride!
Seifer: Èãå äôûå åøüó Ãùã çãëóâ åöøñó...
**Selphie: No, let's go buy hot dogs.
Rinoa: Àøòô.
**Quistis: Fine, you shtupid bard.
Rinoa and Seifer walk off a few steps to find a guy who looks just like Zell onstage.
Akari: *gasp* Zell?
Zell: Yep. *smiles in a cheap way*
Akari: Well, if you're part of the story...
Rinoa: ßóää!?
**Quistis: Lookie, it'sh the @#$%ing hotsh dog sheller.
Seifer: Ø åðùãïðå Ø ëøääóâ ðøü.
**Selphie: I thought I killed him!
Rinoa: Ø öôòòô ðùå âùï.
**Quistis: Give me a hotsh dog, you shtupid bard.
Zell hands Rinoa a strange, inedible lump.
Rinoa: Üüü, øû.
**Quistis: Mmm, ish thish from Canada?
Akari: Um... I'll do Zell's translation.
Zell: Ã
There is some use of pornography in here... Heh heh heh...
THERE IS A LARGE SPOILER IN HERE, but I'm marking it. Try to skip it if you want.
As I mentioned before, I have some... Okay, most... Okay, three fourths of the titles of the games wrong. Excuse that.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything I'm using, but I'm using everything I don't own. *gets dragged away* What did I do?...
EPISODE 2: FINAL FANTASY VIII
Akari is on the Who's Line Is It, Anyway? set, sitting in Drew Carey's chair.
Akari: Welcome back! If you have seen (...or read) the FFVII Whose Line episode, then enjoy the FFVIII version! But if you haven't, what are you thinking? Go back a chapter and read it right now or I'll kill you! I will!
A man in a shirt that says 'SECURITY' on it walks up to Akari.
Akari: Oops... Nevermind. Oh, and, enjoy.
The guy walks away. Drew Carey arrives and looks at Akari evily.
Akari: What?
Drew: I want my set back.
Akari: Hey, we had a deal! I can have it for a week!
Drew's eye twitches.
Akari: Uh...
Akari holds up a wad of Monopoly 100 dollar bills. Drew smiles, grabs them, and runs away.
Drew: Sucker!!
Akari: Heh heh heh... Hope I don't get arrested again. Anyways, let's go to our first scene.
Scene goes over to Squall, Zell, and Irvine in Squall's dorm.
Squall: Um, what are we doing here?
Zell: I dunno.
Irvine: The author probably put us here.
Akari appears in a blue glitter.
Akari: Are you guys bored?
Zell: ...You put here, didn't you?
Akari: Yep, to get you all bored. *smiles Anime-style, eyes squinting and teeth showing* Anyways, let's play a game. We're gonna do the BACHELORS game! We need a girl, though...
Akari zaps Ellone onto the set.
Ellone: Huh?... What am I doing here?
Akari: Eeek! Ellone, put on a robe!
Ellone looks down and realizes she's in her very revealing nightgown.
Ellone: Aaaah!
Akari: Were you sleeping? It's only 12 midnight, you know.
Ellone: No, I wasn't sleeping. I was actually in a strip club a moment ago.
Akari: ...
Ellone: ...
Akari: ...Really?
Ellone: No, you idiot! Of course I was sleeping!
Akari: Hmph. Since you're so mean, you'll have to play the BACHELOR game in your nightgown.
Zell: Yeah!
Irvine: Thanks, Akari!
Squall: Hey, let's have Ellone strip!!
Akari smacks Squall on the head.
***SPOILER ABOUT ELLONE BELOW***
Akari: She's your sister!!
Squall: Not legally.
Akari: Actually, she is.
Squall: Oh, @#$%.
***Okay, spoiler over. Now read or die.***
Akari: Anyways, Ellone, go over and sit in that chair.
Ellone: What is this exactly?
Akari: A chair.
Ellone: No, what are we doing?
Akari: Playing the BACHELOR game. We have Ellone interview the guys, while they try to be someone from a videogame. (Yeah, I'm changing it a little.)
Ellone sits in the chair. Akari hands a slip of paper to each guy. Squall's imitation is Kasume from Dead Or Alive 1-3, Zell is Pikachu from the Pokemon games, and Irvine is Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid.
Akari: Okay, Ellone, you'll be making up stupid questions. Begin!
Ellone: Kay, Bachelor One, I like men who exercize a lot and build up their muscles. What do you do?
Squall: Look here, lady, first of all, I'm a woman. Second, I like to fight.
Ellone: Fight? Demonstrate.
Squall gets up and starts to kick at the camera screen.
Camera Man: Ha, that's nothing.
Squall gets mad and starts to kick the Camera Man in the crotch.
Camera Man: ...Ow! Help me!!
Akari: Squall...
Squall stops and sits down. He smiles Anime-style.
Ellone: Alrighty... Bachelor Two, what is your favorite food?
Zell: Um... Pika pika?
Ellone: ...
Zell: Pika pikachu... Pokemon food.
Ellone: I've got no idea what you're talking about. Bachelor Three, what kind of women do you like?
Irvine: Well, I like lotsa women. Red hair, Chinese ladies, those freaky ones who smoke...
Ellone: Okaaaaaaay, thank you. Bachelor One, what kind of women do you like?
Squall: I told you, I am a woman. But I like the ladies who wouldn't mind sharing make-up tips with me.
Ellone: Erm...
Squall: Oh, do you have some tips for me? Ayane was the only one nice enough to actually give me one, but she told me to get a life, which wasn't very helpful, but...
Ellone: Here's a tip. Let's move on.
Squall: Give me a make-up tip or I'll kill you!!
Ellone: Ha ha ha... Bachelor Two, where do you take your dates?
Zell: Pika pika! To the Pokemon Center! Pika pika!
Ellone: ...I'll just ignore this one. Where do you take your dates, Bachelor Three?
Irvine: I like that place where you shoot things.
Ellone: You mean a police training center?
Irvine: No, the place where there are lots of wars and you gotta use stealth and you can shoot bosses.
Ellone: ...Bachelor One, tell me about where you live.
Squall: I can't. I don't live anywhere.
Ellone: Where do you usually spend time, then?
Squall: In a fighting ring.
Ellone: Hmm... Bachelor Three?
Irvine: *wakes up* Huh? What? Fire? Nooooo!! FIRE!! RUN, EVERYONE!
Ellone: No, it's--
Zell: Pika, you skipped my turn, pika!
Squall: You're gonna pay for skipping this retard's turn!
Squall starts to kick high into the air... Very, VERY high.
Ellone: ...
Ellone smacks her own forehead.
Akari: Okay, that's enough! The game's over!
The Chaos stops.
Somewhere in the FFVII world...
Vincent: Huh? Chaos?
Okay, back to FFVIII.
Akari: Who do you think they were trying to be?
Ellone: Um... Squall is Zell, Zell is some kind of freak from Digimon, and Irvine is the fat guy from Lunar II?
Akari: ...That's all wrong.
Squall: Okay, first of all... I could have been Zell, since he's a kickboxing woman,--
Zell: ...That's right!
Squall: ...but I'm Kasume from the DOA games.
Zell: Okay, what the @#$% gave you the idea that I was a Digimon?! I was a @#$%ing Pokemon! There is a difference, you know. Those evil Digimon are the ones who don't say 'pika pika' and answer things like 'Pokemon center' and 'Pokemon food'!
Ellone: Erm... Cunno.
Zell: Cunno?
Ellone: Oops, I mean... Sorry. I don't even know what a cunno is.
Akari: Heh heh heh... I've been playing FFX.
Ellone: Eh?
Akari: Nevermind. Irvine?
Irvine: Well, I can see why you guessed Borgan from Lunar II, but I'm Solid Snake. But you know, they do have a lot in common.
Ellone: Well... I guess one out of three isn't bad.
Akari: Gosh, Ellone, you suck.
Akari zaps Ellone back to the strip club.
At a strip club...
Ellone: Uh oh... Akari believed me!
A fat guy comes by Ellone.
Borgan: Hey, wanna dance?
Ellone: ...AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Back to the set.
Akari: Well, that was interesting. Let's have a commercial break now.
^^^COMMERCIAL^^^
Anouncer: Hey, all you @#$%ing kids out there! If you're under 13 @#$%ing years old, then turn off your @#$%ing TV right now, cause you're about to see... Some @#$%ing awesome @#$%!!! Welcome to Final @#$%ing Fantasy IX!!! We have our @#$%ing hero, Zidane Tribal...
Zidane comes on the screen. The fans standing outside boo.
Anouncer: And of course, that @#$%ing Vivi.
Vivi comes on the screen. The fans boo.
Anouncer: And our @#$%ing Princess?
Dagger comes on the screen. The fans boo.
Anouncer: Why, you @#$%ing fans! What did you come here for, anyway?
Three fans pull down their pants. On the first one's butt is a C, on the second one's butt is an I, and on the third one's butt is a D.
Anouncer: Why, Cid... That's my @#$%ing name! Thanks, you @#$%ing fans!
Backstage guy: Um Mr. Highwind? They said we're not allowed to film live commercials anymore.
Anouncer: ...Oh, @#$%^&*@#$%^&*#$%^&*@$#$%^&*@#$%^&*--
Backstage guy: That's enough!
Anouncer: Wait, I'm not done. And now I gotta start over! Oh well... #@#$%^&&^%@#$%^&@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^@!#@$%^&@#$%^&@#$%^!!!!!!!!!
^^^END OF COMMERCIAL^^^
Akari is on the Who's Line set.
Akari: Erm... They gotta fire that Cid. Maybe hire the one from FFIX that keeps calling Princess Garnet a whore and me a 'Weird Tifa Resembling Sorceress Lady'? Oh, we're back! Let's check out what the girls are doing!
Akari dissapears and appears in SeeD Garden Dorms. Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie are huddled in a corner.
Akari: Watcha got there?
Rinoa shields the thing they're holding.
Rinoa: Sorry, we can't show you.
Akari: ...I am the infamous ~Tifa~!! I shall kill you if you don't hand that over!!
Quistis: *sweatdrop* Um... Let's just give it to her.
Rinoa: ...Okay.
Rinoa hands over the object. It's a photo album full of...
Akari: *gasps* Pornography of the male SeeDs!!
Selphie: Hey... We would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about this.
Akari starts laughing.
Akari: You girls are so pathetic! I've got much better pornography over here...
Akari opens her cape and pulls a little book out of her pocket. She opens it and shows it Quistis, Rinoa, and Selphie.
Quistis: Who are all these naked 30 year old men?
Akari: Actually, they're not 30. That guy with the red eyes is 27, that guy with the cool hair's 21, and that one with the cigar in his mouth... Okay, 32.
Selphie: Eeew...
Rinoa: Okay, you've taught us a lesson. We'll stop this illegal porn usage.
Akari: Well, girls, I wasn't trying to teach you a--Huh? This is illegal?
Quistis: Uh oh...
Selphie: You're not the police, are you?
Akari: Me? Of course not... I don't even have an affliate with the Sector 7 Female Butt Kicker Officers...
Akari closes her cape and hides her Sector 7 Female Butt Kicker Officer badge.
Rinoa: Good. Anyways, what are you doing here?
Akari: Well, you all know me. Remember?
Rinoa: Hmm... Christmas Chaos?
Akari: Yep. *beams*
Rinoa: Oh, the fanfic where you let Squall have a monkey named BOOB?
Akari: Right.
Quistis: We won't ask.
Selphie: Anyways...
Akari: We're gonna play a game called TWISTER!!!
Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Akari: Just kidding. We're playing the FOREIGN LANGUAGE game!
Rinoa: Yay! I can speak Latin, you know.
Akari: That's nice, but--
Rinoa:
Excitate vos e somno,
Liberi mei cunnae sunt non,
Excitate vos e somno,
Liberi fatali somnusna est non!
Akari: ...
Rinoa: ...
Akari: Anyways, we need a foreign language from the audience!
Random audience members: Latin! Latin! Latin! Latin! Russian! Latin! Latin! Latin! Latin!
Akari: Hmm... I'll go with Russian.
Rinoa: Oh, @#$%...
Audience: Boooo!!!!
Akari: Too bad. Now, we need one more person onstage...
Rinoa: I can pick!
Akari: Well, I hope you're not drunk on sake.
Rinoa: Um... I'm not...
Akari: Cause last time...
Rinoa goes to the audience. She finds someone and comes back out. The person looks just like...
Akari: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Seifer, what are you doing here?!
Seifer: Um... Well, I sure wasn't trying to blow stuff up.
Seifer hides the explosive he's holding behind his back.
Rinoa: Seifer! Are you having that problem with exploding things again?
Seifer: No, how dare you!
Akari: Anyways, let's play. I'll give you a scene to start with. Rinoa and Seifer are on a date at the Gold Saucer and Rinoa is drunk on sake.
Rinoa: Wait, I have two things to say... 1.) What's the Gold Saucer? and 2.) I'm already drunk on sake, even though I said I wasn't before.
Akari: 1.) It's an amusement park. 2.) Good, you won't have to pretend.
Rinoa: ...Uh, yeah.
Akari: Selphie will do Seifer's translation and Rinoa will be done by Quistis. By the way, Rinoa, why aren't you talking all weirdly like most people do when they're drunk?
Rinoa: Um... Ish thish better?
Akari: Yep, but Quistis will have to be talking that way.
Quistis: Aw, man...
Akari: Okay, begin!
Rinoa: Øâóü òô åùå!
**Quistis: Let'sh go on thatsh ride!
Seifer: Èãå äôûå åøüó Ãùã çãëóâ åöøñó...
**Selphie: No, let's go buy hot dogs.
Rinoa: Àøòô.
**Quistis: Fine, you shtupid bard.
Rinoa and Seifer walk off a few steps to find a guy who looks just like Zell onstage.
Akari: *gasp* Zell?
Zell: Yep. *smiles in a cheap way*
Akari: Well, if you're part of the story...
Rinoa: ßóää!?
**Quistis: Lookie, it'sh the @#$%ing hotsh dog sheller.
Seifer: Ø åðùãïðå Ø ëøääóâ ðøü.
**Selphie: I thought I killed him!
Rinoa: Ø öôòòô ðùå âùï.
**Quistis: Give me a hotsh dog, you shtupid bard.
Zell hands Rinoa a strange, inedible lump.
Rinoa: Üüü, øû.
**Quistis: Mmm, ish thish from Canada?
Akari: Um... I'll do Zell's translation.
Zell: Ã