Welcome to the final episode of this fanfic!!! I'm sorry it's been a while,
but here it is. Thank you to all who read and reviewed. On to the CC
episode!!
One more thing; I'm really sorry, but I never really got a chance to play Chrono Cross. I'm confused of this game too and don't know any characters except Kid, Serge, Harlequin, Lynx, Leena, Pierre, Karsh, Glenn, Dario, Nikki, Una, Miki, Riddel, Korcha, Viper, Solt, Peppor, Ketchop, and Mojo. And that's not a lot. So I'm just using a few of these people and/or hay structures in the episode. And since it's VERY hard to imitate an Australian accent when you're not Australian, Kid won't be using her accent the whole time. Sorry once again.
To u dont need 2 know; Wakka kinda lost his accent since I forgot about it. It's in there now, so check back if you're really willing to go through the torture of reading Episode 4 all over again. I made a few minor changes, too. Like Kimahri is now speaking in bad grammar the WHOLE time.
Disclaimer: I don't own Square, kay? Quit reading these.
EPISODE 6: CHRONO CROSS
The scene begins at Opassa Beach. Akari is swimming in the ocean.
Akari: Thank lord no one sees me.
By the shore, hiding in the reefs, are Leena and Kid.
Leena: Hee hee...
Kid: Ha ha ha...
Leena: Hee hee...
Kid: Ha ha ha...
Leena: Hee hee...
Kid: Let's cut that out.
Leena: Kay.
Kid: Hey, who is that girl, anyway? She's arse-naked.
Leena: *shrugs*
Akari suddenly turns around in the water.
Akari: Hey, I hear something...
Akari looks over at the reefs. She spots Kid and Leena.
Akari: ...You perverts!!!
Akari runs out of the water and starts chasing Leena and Kid around the sand.
Kid: Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!
Leena: Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!!
Somewhere by the beach...
Harlequin: Hmm? What eez zat noize?
Harlequin walks over to the beach and notices Kid and Leena being chased.
Harlequin: Do not fear! I shall save you from zees awful monster!
Akari: *stops chasing Kid and Leena* ...Who are you calling a monster?!
Harlequin: You.
Akari: Hmph. Now, you shall suffer the ultimate consequences, Harlequin!!
Harlequin: How do you know my name?
Akari: Hmm... *shrugs* You will be known as Harle for the rest of the fanfic!!
Harle: Aw, man. That eez my punishment?
Akari: Yep.
Harle: *sigh* I have to go now.
Akari: Not so fast!! You're also gonna have to play the BACHELORETTES game!! Yes, again.
Kid: Oh, @#$%.
Leena: Yeah, I agree.
Harle: Right.
Akari: That's weird. Most times, one of the girls is excited about the game. She's usually drunk.
Harle: Well, Chrono Cross eez different.
Akari: Hmm... Are any of you drunk?
Kid: No.
Akari: Say the word 'silly'.
Kid: Silly.
Leena: Silly.
Harle: Silly.
Akari: Good. Now we need a guy.
Akari zaps in Pierre.
Pierre: What am I doing?
Akari: You're gonna play the BACHELORETTES game.
Pierre: Oooh, yay! *shows off his make-up*
Akari: No, you're gonna be the person who is looking for a bachelorette.
Pierre: Oh, shiznits.
Akari: Now, I'll give each of the girls a paper and they'll have to act as the videogame character on it.
Akari hands each girl a post-it note. Kid is Serge from CC, Leena is Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid (2), and Harle is Sailor Moon from the Anime show.
Akari: Okay, start!
Everyone walks onstage.
Pierre: Helloo, bachelorettesh!! Nombre un, what ish your preffered shtyle of clothing and hair?
Kid: Mmmph. Mmmph!! *points to clothes and hair*
Pierre: Alrighty... Nombre deux, what ish your favorite clothing and hairshtyle?
Leena: The mullet. So great looking with a bandana. And I usually wear some blue hybrid stuff, or submarine clothing.
Pierre: Hmm. Nombre troish, what is your clothesh and hairshtyle?
Harle: Nice little sakura buns with ponytails flowing out and a tight balerina dress.
Pierre: Ehhh... Get away from me... Bachelorette nombre un, what do you like to do in your shpare time?
Kid: Mmph!!! Mmph!!!
Pierre: I think I'll ignore thish one. Nombre deux, how about you?
Leena: Smoke a little, maybe look at some of the posters of women in bikinis that they hang in locker rooms.
Pierre: Ahem. Nombre troish?
Harle: I like to save zee world! In the name of the Moon, I shall punish everybody!!
Pierre: Oookay... What'sh your favorite food, nombre deux?
Leena: Cigarettes.
Pierre: Huh?
Kid: Mmmph!!!
Harle: You skipped me and the weird one!! In the name of the Moon, I shall punish you!!!
Pierre: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
Akari: Okay, stop!
Pierre: I think I chooshe nombre deux.
Akari: Quit speaking in French. Who do you think everyone was?
Pierre: Nombre un wash one of the Backshtreet Boysh, nombre deux wash Akari, and nombre troish wash Aki from the FF:TSW movie?
Akari: *sigh* That's all wrong. And why does everyone always think I'm one of the characters?
Kid: I was Serge. Ya know, he doesn't talk?
Pierre: ...??? I figured you were shinging a Backshtreet Boysh shong. You know, mmmmmm or something.
Leena: I was Solid Snake. Akari doesn't smoke, neither does she wear what I described. Or have a mullet hairstyle or love to look at female pornography.
Pierre: Hey, you never know.
Akari: !!! *whacks Pierre over the head*
Harle: I was zee Sailor Moon girl. Duh.
Pierre: *rubbing head from Akari's hit* Well, how wash I to know?
Akari: That was yet another awful game. I gotta go now.
Akari dissapears in a blue dust. Suddenly, Ryu appears.
Pierre: ...You jusht misshed her.
Ryu: Oh, shiznits.
Ryu dissapears.
^^^COMMERCIAL^^^
Anouncer: Just years ago, an RPG graced the USA... One with an unforgettable storyline, incredible characters, and a never-before seen battle system. That RPG was the infamous Poke´mon Blue! ...Actually, Poke´mon doesn't fit the above requirements. Except the unforgettable storyline, which is still haunting the author's dreams.
The camera points to Akari, in her bed. It's night and she's sleeping. But she's also sleep-talking.
Akari: No... Not the Pikachu... The frikkin' Pikachu... It's gonna kill us all... Beware, children... *wakes up* AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! *throws a nearby pillow across the room, and it knocks down her posters of Cloud* DIE, YOU EVIL MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!
The camera turns back to the anouncer.
Anouncer: ...Ahem. The RPG was really Final Fantasy VII. And now, this commercial presents to you: FINAL FANTASY VII: THE PS2 REMAKE!!! The new FFVII story will be very improved. Observe...
The screen shifts to a dark setting. We see a figure praying. Suddenly, a shadow falls at the figure and sticks a sword through it. Lights turn on and you see that the shadow who jumped down was Sephiroth and the praying figure was Don Corneo.
Anouncer: That's right, the 'lovable' Aeris Gainsborough is replaced by the horny Don Corneo.
The scene now shows Tifa inside a casino-style building. There are people around her, all gambling on slots and Poker. Cloud and Barret are talking to Tifa about a mission. A waitress comes up to Tifa and serves her a Margarita.
Anouncer: And Tifa no longer owns a bar; she owns a Las Vegas casino!!
Finally, we see a battle scene. Cid is shown. Cid is commanded to attack. But instead of throwing his spear, the word '@#$%' appears over Cid's head and causes the enemy 9999 damage.
Anouncer: The battle system is totally improved; not only do simple attacks like these get the player's mother angry and ready to protest to Squaresoft, but they also do unbelievable damage to the opponent!! So there you have it. The FFVII remake will be completely amazing, so instead of sitting here and reading the fanfic, go out and buy this game today!!!
^^^END OF COMMERCIAL^^^
Serge and Lynx are playing Go Fish. Akari and Ryu appear.
Lynx: Go fish.
Serge: *picks up a card* Mwuahahaha!!! I have beaten you yet again!!! *puts down his deck*
Lynx: Aw, man.
Serge: I may not talk a lot, but I can beat everyone at Go Fish!!
Akari: Um... Hello?
Serge: *sees Akari and Ryu* Eeek!! Okay, listen. You did not just hear me talk.
Ryu: Yes we did.
Serge: ... ... ... ... ...
Akari: Whatever. Anyways, you two are gonna play the infamous OLD GRAMPA GAME SHOW game!!
Ryu: Serge, you'll have to talk for this.
Serge: ... ... ... ... ...
Ryu: If you don't talk, Akari's gonna make a voodoo doll out of you.
Serge: ... ... ... ... ...
Akari: *holds up a needle and some fabric* I'll set it on fire, too. Then you'll be CURSED!!! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Serge: *sigh* Okay, I'll talk.
Akari: *smiles-Anime* I can make boys do anything for me.
Serge: Yeah, by threatening them.
Akari: *death-glares Serge* Anyways, the game show will be Jeopardy.
Ryu: That hasn't been done in a while. I thought you'd choose Wheel of Fortune.
Akari: WoF is too weird and serious.
Ryu: ...Yeah.
Akari: Anyways, we need a few more people.
Akari zaps in Glenn and Karsh.
Glenn: Where are we?
Karsh: In hell. HAHAHAHA!!!
Akari: ...No. You're on the Whose Line? set. And you're gonna play a game.
Glenn: Oh, @#$%.
Akari: Lynx will be the host and you, Karsh, and Serge are the players in Jeopardy. Begin!!
Everyone gets to their places.
(Picture everyone speaking like an old guy.)
Lynx: Hello shunny, I'm Alex Trebek. I think. I forgot over them years. Our catergories are: FATE, Forein Languages, Blue Hair, Frozen Things Besides Fire, People Who Don't Wear Clothes, and Nicknames. We'll begin with Serge.
Serge: Oh goody, I always start! Foreign Languages for $100.
Lynx: Which clown from CC speaks French?
Serge: *buzzes* Oh, I know I know I know!!!
Lynx: What's the answer, shunny?
Serge: Um... I forgot. Give me a year.
Karsh: *buzzes* It's Kid!!
Lynx: No, that would be Australian.
Karsh: I think I'm right. I traveled around the world back in 1000. Come on, it's been only 20 years! I can't forget.
Lynx: No. You're wrong.
Glenn: *buzzes* It's Harlequin!!
Lynx: Yes! Of course, the alternate answer was Pierre.
Glenn: YAY!!! I got an answer right!!!
Lynx: Chose a catergory, loser.
Glenn: Respect your elders!
Lynx: I'm your age.
Glenn: Well, I'm older by 2 hours. Ha.
Lynx: Chose a catergory!
Glenn: People Who Don't Wear Clothes for $500.
Lynx: The guy with Wakka's accent who enjoys to ride boats.
Serge: *buzzes* Oh, I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW!!!!!
Lynx: Yes?
Serge: ...I forgot.
Lynx: Shunny, you better stop that.
Karsh: *buzzes* Korcha.
Lynx: Correct. Now we need a tie-breaker between Karsh and Glenn since Serge can't remember a thing.
Serge: *drooling* Ehh...
Karsh: I pick Blue Hair for $1000.
Lynx: We're not giving away that much money! You know this show is cheap!
Karsh: Okay, I pick Blue Hair for $100.
Lynx: The idiot who's asleep right now.
Glenn: *buzzes* Karsh!!
Lynx: No, he's not asleep.
Karsh: *snores*
Lynx: ...Never mind. You win, Glenn!!!
Glenn: Yay!! I'm gonna buy me a night with Akari!!
Lynx: You only have $200. Akari sells for $500 a night. I know from experience, back in 1000...
Glenn: Oh, shiznits.
Akari: That's enough!! I do NOT sell for $500!!! I sell for $1000 and up.
Ryu: Oh, geez... *smacks his own forehead* Look, we have to go.
Akari and Ryu dissapear in a violet swirl.
Glenn: ...Dammit, I really did want to buy her for a night.
The next scene shows Kid sitting in her house, reading a magazine. Akari and Ryu appear.
Akari: Hi, Kid. I didn't know you had a house.
Kid: Well, don't I have to live somewhere?
Akari: You're gonna play the SONG TO AN AUDIENCE MEMBER game now, kay?
Kid: No. I gotta read my magazine.
Akari: *reading title of magazine* Seventeen???
Ryu: Aren't you 16?
Kid: Um, yeah, I guess.
Akari: Great. Now throw that out and let's play the frikkin' game.
Akari zaps herself, Kid, and Ryu to the Whose Line? set.
Ryu: We need an audience member.
Kid runs into the audience and pulls someone out. She comes back down.
Akari: ...Mojo. What a surprise.
Mojo: Hiya.
Akari: What is your hobby?
Mojo: Hmm... Dancing. Oh, and I love setting things on fire.
Akari: Okay Kid, sing the 'dancing and setting things on fire' song to Mojo. We're getting help from Julia Heartilly and Selphie Tillmitt.
Selphie and Julia stick their tongues out at the camera.
Akari: Oookay. Begin!
Julia and Selphie start playing the CC opening theme (?). Kid starts singing.
Kid:
Mojo, you love to dance
You move your body and hips
It catches you in a trance
You don't care that you're made of sticks.
You love the way fire glows
You use it on the merge
The last thing that you set on fire
Happens to be Serge!!!
Mojo: ...Ehh...
Kid: What? You didn't like it? I don't know, I personally loved the last two lines.
Mojo: I really have to go now. *mysteriously dissapears in smoke*
Kid: *sigh* What an arse.
Akari: Yeah. Kay, bye.
Akari and Ryu dissapear.
Kid: *sigh* I'm all alone...
Serge appears in a bath towel.
Serge: Where am I? Oh, hello, Kid.
Kid: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Akari and Ryu, meanwhile, appear in a boat. (?) Korcha is steering.
Korcha: Hey, you have to pay for the ride!!
Akari: Where are we going?
Korcha: *shrugs*
Akari: *sigh* Fine.
Akari motions a gesture to Ryu. Ryu nods and pulls out a bag of Gil with a cheesy $ sign on the side. He hands it to Korcha.
Korcha: Are you... Burglars?
Akari: *smacks her own forehead* I told you we should have gotten another bag, Ryu.
Korcha: You are, aren't you?! ...Get outta my boat!!!
Akari: No. I'm staying.
Korcha: !!!
Korcha is about to push Akari and Ryu out of the boat. Instead, Akari twists his hand and pushes him out.
Akari: *grabs the ores* Hee hee!!! I stole a boat!!!
Ryu: Um... This is illegal.
Akari: ~Tifa Lockhart~ is never illegal!!!
Korcha: *wet* Did you say ~Tifa Lockhart~?
Akari: Um... No...
Korcha: I'm your biggest fan!
Akari: Oh. In that case...
Korcha: Can I play a cheesy game?
Akari: Sure.
Akari zaps herself, Korcha, and Ryu to the Whose Line? set. Then she zaps in Riddel, Nikki, and Una in.
Ryu: We're gonna play the UNLIKELY SUPERHEROES game!!
Akari: Yay, my favorite game!! ^.^
Nikki: Um, do we have a say in this?
Akari: No, I control your lives.
Nikki: Alrighty.
Akari: We need suggestions for what superhero Korcha will be.
Random audience members: Explosive Man! Captain Streaker! Doctor Lingerie Collector!
Akari: Captain Streaker it is.
Korcha: Yay!
Ryu: And what is Captain Streaker's problem?
Random audience members: Parents are coming over to see what he does for a living! Can't take off clothes cause they're superglued on! Is getting too old for streaking!
Ryu: The second one seems...decent.
Akari: Okay Korcha, as Riddel comes onstage, you'll give her a name and she'll give Nikki a name and so on. Begin!
Korcha walks onstage.
Korcha: *touching body* My, it's so hot in here... I better take my clothes off.
Korcha tries to pull his pants off, but can't.
Korcha: Oh no! Someone seems to have put superglue in my clothes and now I can't streak!
Riddel comes onstage.
Riddel: Did someone say 'streak'?
Korcha: Why, it's Doctor Lingerie Collector!
Akari: *sigh* Korcha...
Riddel: I don't mind, Akari.
Riddel takes out a bra.
Akari: !!!
Riddel: I don't know how this will help you, but isn't it wonderful? Such soft cotton and lace... Here, feel it!
Korcha: *shudders*
Nikki comes onstage.
Riddel: Lookie, Deadly Armpit Man is here!
Nikki: Hey, wanna smell? *lifts arm*
Riddel: Ehh... *faints*
Nikki: Uh-oh...
Nikki picks up Riddel's bra and waves it on her face. Riddel wakes up.
Korcha: *smacks own forehead* I need help...
Una comes onstage.
Nikki: Flamethrower Woman!
Una: *takes out a flamethrower* MWUAHAHAHA!!!! Burn in hell!! All of you!!! *blows flamethrower around*
Korcha: Do any of you know how to remove superglue from clothes?...
Una: I know! SET IT ON FIRE!!!!!!
Una sets Korcha on fire with her flamethrower.
Korcha: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Riddel: I'll put out the fire with the air from my bra!!
Riddel waves her bra at Korcha. The fire dies down.
Nikki: That didn't help. *lifts arm* This will!
Korcha: *breathes in* Ehh... *faints*
Riddel: Oh no! *waves bra over Korcha*
Korcha: *awakens* This is hopeless.
Riddel: Not quite! Here, try wearing this.
Riddel throws her bra and a pair of underwear to Korcha. He puts them on.
Riddel: Half the people in the Strip Club are half-blind old guys. Trust me, I've been there. They won't really notice that all you're taking off is something you have over your clothes.
Korcha: Gee, thanks, Doctor Lingerie Collector!
Akari: Okay, great job!
Riddel: Give me back my bra, Korcha.
Korcha: No! I like wearing it!
Riddel: That's my REAL bra. Came from under my shirt.
Korcha: Even better.
Riddel: AAAAAAAAARGH!!! *takles Korcha*
Akari: Ehh...
Akari and Ryu dissapear. They appear in Kid's house again. This time, Kid is being chased around the room by Serge (for no particular reason) while Leena looks on angrily.
Akari: Hiiiiii!
Serge: *stops chasing Kid* Hi.
Akari: Wanna play a game?
Kid: We all did.
Akari: Well, too bad. We're playing SCENES FROM A HAT!!!
Ryu: The audience has been threatened to write down some movie styles earlier and you three will act out a scene using the styles when Akari calls them out.
Akari: Yeah. The scene is: Serge is a rotten two-timer and has agreed to marry both Kid and Leena. But they don't know that. He goes out to buy a suit for the weddings, but sees Leena and Kid at the mall--shopping together as friends--and they confront him.
Serge: Yay!! I get two women! This never happened in the game!
Akari: ...Yeah. You were such a loser in the game, you couldn't even get Pierre to come on to you. Okay, start in normal style!
Serge walks onstage.
Serge: Hmm, maybe I'll buy this one...
Serge looks around.
Serge: Oh no, it's Kid and Leena! I gotta hide!
Serge runs to hide behind a dumpster. Kid and Leena walk onstage.
Kid: Leena, you're my best friend!!
Leena: And you're mine!
Kid: Hey, what's that blue thing behind the dumpster?
Akari: FF: THE SPIRITS WITHIN!!!
Kid: It just may be... The eigth spirit!
Leena: You're right, my chest plate is reacting!
Kid: The eigth spirit must be a dumpster...
Kid and Leena walk behind the dumpster and find Serge.
Akari: SAILOR MOON STYLE!!!
Kid: Oh no!! It's Saphire!!
Leena: We must transform and stop him!
A bright light surrounds Kid and Leena. They turn naked, then appear in cheesy Sailor Moon outfits.
Kid: *holds up a pretty stick* In the name of the moon, I shall punish you!!
Akari: LUNAR 2 STYLE!!!
Leena: That's not Saphire! It's Serge!
Kid: Wanna bathe naked in a hot tub with me?
Serge: Hmm... Let's ask my pink stuffed cat.
A flying cat appears.
Akari: ...?
Leena: Hey, you can't bathe naked with her! I'll dance for you!
Kid: Her cheep dyed green hair can't stand up to my NATURAL blue hair! And look at that slutty clothes! At least my bra isn't showing!
Akari: This is getting soooo weird. *zaps the cat away* MYSTERY STYLE!!!
Kid: Serge, what were you doing behind this dumpster?
Serge: Hmm... I do not know.
Leena: There's a tuxedo in your hands. You must be shopping for our wedding.
Kid: ...He's marrying you? No, he's marrying me!!
Akari: *sigh* MATRIX STYLE!!!
Audience: *cheers* YAY!!!!!
Serge: I have a confession to make. I was cheating on both of you.
Kid: It's not your fault, Serge. It's HER'S!!!
Kid and Leena start to fight. Suddenly, Kid jumps into the air. She spings 360 ° and kicks Leena in the face.
Akari: And finally, SOUTH PARK STYLE!!!
Serge: Aw, man.
Akari: Come on!!
Serge: OH MY GOD, YOU KILLED KENNY!!!!! ...I mean, Leena.
Kid: Who the @#$% cares? I'm gonna kill you next!
Serge: No! I'm gonna stop you with my fart power!!!
Kid: DEAR @#$%, NO!!!
Akari: Stop!!! We have to end the game right now.
Ryu: Yeah, nice knowing you.
Akari and Ryu dissapear.
Serge: ...What about Leena?
Akari and Ryu appear at the Whose Line? set, where everyone who played their games are gathered.
Akari: We've come to the end of the episode and this TV show! That's right, it was cancelled due to the backstage nudity problem we've been having with the FF characters. Kidding. Actually, I've gone through all my favorite games, the ones I know of. So thanks very much to the ones who read this fanfic and even more to those who reviewed!
Ryu: For our final game, we'll have Harlequin and Serge read the credits as if they're about to get married. Any other characters may come in. *winks to Kid* Start off!
Harle and Serge walk onto the stage.
Harle: *slowly walking down the imaginary isle and whispering to Serge* Psst... Serge, did you invite zat nice little girlfriend of yourz?
Serge: Which one? *giggles*
Harle: Leena, ze one with ze weird doggy.
Serge: I ordered Pierre to take care of the wedding list. So he probably invited Leena.
Harle: Knowing Pierre, he alzo invited Una, Riddel, Korcha... All ze women.
Serge: Hey! Una isn't a woman!
Harle: ...?
Serge: Nevermind.
Harle: I wonder if he got Nikki to come.
Serge: Nikki would scare the crowd with his outfit and make-up.
Harle: Lynx would scare zem all with zat head.
Serge: I find that head attractive.
Harle: ...??? Well, I think zat Glenn eez hot.
Serge: Hey, I'm not saying that to make you jealous!
Harle: Well, we gotta name all ze people who stared in zees fic. I'm thinking of creative wayz.
Serge and Harle reach the Priest. Who happens to be Nikki.
Harle: Aaaah! Nikki, you're still wearing your make-up!
Nikki: It brings out my eyes. *winks at the camera in a very weird way* Anyway, we're gathered here today... Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Akari,stopmakingthoseviolentmotions blah blah blah blah blah... Anyone opposing this wedding, say so now or forever hold your peace.
Kid runs into the 'Chappel'.
Kid: AAAAARGH!!! I WILL KILL YOU, HARLE!!!!!
Kid takes out her dagger.
Harle: Aaaaah! Quick Serge, ve must get married now!!
Harle kisses Serge. Kid screams and tries to stab Harle with her dagger.
Akari: Nice job for the final game!!!
Ryu: Um, Kid... Stop trying to kill Harle...
Kid: No!!! I gotta kill her!!!
Kid continues to trying to stab Harle, who is screaming bloody murder. Serge watches this with pride.
Akari: Ahem... *covers up the camera with her hand* Join me for my next fic, guest starring someone very special!! And guess what, we're getting rid of Ryu in it!!
Ryu: Aw, man.
~*~*~
Thank you all very much for reading and to certain people for reviewing!! Please watch for my next fic (yet another cheesy humor crossover) which will be titled "Valentine's Day Chaos!" It will be a sequel to "Chrismas Chaos!" but of course with Valentine's Day. Many common pairings included-- with a twist on the use of alcohol. ^_^ It will also be co-hosted by one of my favorite authors, the talented Pyra The Dragon Goddess!!! *cheering in background* And we'll overthrow Ryu!!! *even louder cheering in background*
And to Universe Master Zee: I know you requested 'Spring Break Chaos!' as the sequel to 'Christmas Chaos!', but I had Valentine's Day planned for a while. I'm very sorry, and I hope this doesn't make you mad or anything.
One more thing; I'm really sorry, but I never really got a chance to play Chrono Cross. I'm confused of this game too and don't know any characters except Kid, Serge, Harlequin, Lynx, Leena, Pierre, Karsh, Glenn, Dario, Nikki, Una, Miki, Riddel, Korcha, Viper, Solt, Peppor, Ketchop, and Mojo. And that's not a lot. So I'm just using a few of these people and/or hay structures in the episode. And since it's VERY hard to imitate an Australian accent when you're not Australian, Kid won't be using her accent the whole time. Sorry once again.
To u dont need 2 know; Wakka kinda lost his accent since I forgot about it. It's in there now, so check back if you're really willing to go through the torture of reading Episode 4 all over again. I made a few minor changes, too. Like Kimahri is now speaking in bad grammar the WHOLE time.
Disclaimer: I don't own Square, kay? Quit reading these.
EPISODE 6: CHRONO CROSS
The scene begins at Opassa Beach. Akari is swimming in the ocean.
Akari: Thank lord no one sees me.
By the shore, hiding in the reefs, are Leena and Kid.
Leena: Hee hee...
Kid: Ha ha ha...
Leena: Hee hee...
Kid: Ha ha ha...
Leena: Hee hee...
Kid: Let's cut that out.
Leena: Kay.
Kid: Hey, who is that girl, anyway? She's arse-naked.
Leena: *shrugs*
Akari suddenly turns around in the water.
Akari: Hey, I hear something...
Akari looks over at the reefs. She spots Kid and Leena.
Akari: ...You perverts!!!
Akari runs out of the water and starts chasing Leena and Kid around the sand.
Kid: Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!
Leena: Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!!
Somewhere by the beach...
Harlequin: Hmm? What eez zat noize?
Harlequin walks over to the beach and notices Kid and Leena being chased.
Harlequin: Do not fear! I shall save you from zees awful monster!
Akari: *stops chasing Kid and Leena* ...Who are you calling a monster?!
Harlequin: You.
Akari: Hmph. Now, you shall suffer the ultimate consequences, Harlequin!!
Harlequin: How do you know my name?
Akari: Hmm... *shrugs* You will be known as Harle for the rest of the fanfic!!
Harle: Aw, man. That eez my punishment?
Akari: Yep.
Harle: *sigh* I have to go now.
Akari: Not so fast!! You're also gonna have to play the BACHELORETTES game!! Yes, again.
Kid: Oh, @#$%.
Leena: Yeah, I agree.
Harle: Right.
Akari: That's weird. Most times, one of the girls is excited about the game. She's usually drunk.
Harle: Well, Chrono Cross eez different.
Akari: Hmm... Are any of you drunk?
Kid: No.
Akari: Say the word 'silly'.
Kid: Silly.
Leena: Silly.
Harle: Silly.
Akari: Good. Now we need a guy.
Akari zaps in Pierre.
Pierre: What am I doing?
Akari: You're gonna play the BACHELORETTES game.
Pierre: Oooh, yay! *shows off his make-up*
Akari: No, you're gonna be the person who is looking for a bachelorette.
Pierre: Oh, shiznits.
Akari: Now, I'll give each of the girls a paper and they'll have to act as the videogame character on it.
Akari hands each girl a post-it note. Kid is Serge from CC, Leena is Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid (2), and Harle is Sailor Moon from the Anime show.
Akari: Okay, start!
Everyone walks onstage.
Pierre: Helloo, bachelorettesh!! Nombre un, what ish your preffered shtyle of clothing and hair?
Kid: Mmmph. Mmmph!! *points to clothes and hair*
Pierre: Alrighty... Nombre deux, what ish your favorite clothing and hairshtyle?
Leena: The mullet. So great looking with a bandana. And I usually wear some blue hybrid stuff, or submarine clothing.
Pierre: Hmm. Nombre troish, what is your clothesh and hairshtyle?
Harle: Nice little sakura buns with ponytails flowing out and a tight balerina dress.
Pierre: Ehhh... Get away from me... Bachelorette nombre un, what do you like to do in your shpare time?
Kid: Mmph!!! Mmph!!!
Pierre: I think I'll ignore thish one. Nombre deux, how about you?
Leena: Smoke a little, maybe look at some of the posters of women in bikinis that they hang in locker rooms.
Pierre: Ahem. Nombre troish?
Harle: I like to save zee world! In the name of the Moon, I shall punish everybody!!
Pierre: Oookay... What'sh your favorite food, nombre deux?
Leena: Cigarettes.
Pierre: Huh?
Kid: Mmmph!!!
Harle: You skipped me and the weird one!! In the name of the Moon, I shall punish you!!!
Pierre: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
Akari: Okay, stop!
Pierre: I think I chooshe nombre deux.
Akari: Quit speaking in French. Who do you think everyone was?
Pierre: Nombre un wash one of the Backshtreet Boysh, nombre deux wash Akari, and nombre troish wash Aki from the FF:TSW movie?
Akari: *sigh* That's all wrong. And why does everyone always think I'm one of the characters?
Kid: I was Serge. Ya know, he doesn't talk?
Pierre: ...??? I figured you were shinging a Backshtreet Boysh shong. You know, mmmmmm or something.
Leena: I was Solid Snake. Akari doesn't smoke, neither does she wear what I described. Or have a mullet hairstyle or love to look at female pornography.
Pierre: Hey, you never know.
Akari: !!! *whacks Pierre over the head*
Harle: I was zee Sailor Moon girl. Duh.
Pierre: *rubbing head from Akari's hit* Well, how wash I to know?
Akari: That was yet another awful game. I gotta go now.
Akari dissapears in a blue dust. Suddenly, Ryu appears.
Pierre: ...You jusht misshed her.
Ryu: Oh, shiznits.
Ryu dissapears.
^^^COMMERCIAL^^^
Anouncer: Just years ago, an RPG graced the USA... One with an unforgettable storyline, incredible characters, and a never-before seen battle system. That RPG was the infamous Poke´mon Blue! ...Actually, Poke´mon doesn't fit the above requirements. Except the unforgettable storyline, which is still haunting the author's dreams.
The camera points to Akari, in her bed. It's night and she's sleeping. But she's also sleep-talking.
Akari: No... Not the Pikachu... The frikkin' Pikachu... It's gonna kill us all... Beware, children... *wakes up* AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! *throws a nearby pillow across the room, and it knocks down her posters of Cloud* DIE, YOU EVIL MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!
The camera turns back to the anouncer.
Anouncer: ...Ahem. The RPG was really Final Fantasy VII. And now, this commercial presents to you: FINAL FANTASY VII: THE PS2 REMAKE!!! The new FFVII story will be very improved. Observe...
The screen shifts to a dark setting. We see a figure praying. Suddenly, a shadow falls at the figure and sticks a sword through it. Lights turn on and you see that the shadow who jumped down was Sephiroth and the praying figure was Don Corneo.
Anouncer: That's right, the 'lovable' Aeris Gainsborough is replaced by the horny Don Corneo.
The scene now shows Tifa inside a casino-style building. There are people around her, all gambling on slots and Poker. Cloud and Barret are talking to Tifa about a mission. A waitress comes up to Tifa and serves her a Margarita.
Anouncer: And Tifa no longer owns a bar; she owns a Las Vegas casino!!
Finally, we see a battle scene. Cid is shown. Cid is commanded to attack. But instead of throwing his spear, the word '@#$%' appears over Cid's head and causes the enemy 9999 damage.
Anouncer: The battle system is totally improved; not only do simple attacks like these get the player's mother angry and ready to protest to Squaresoft, but they also do unbelievable damage to the opponent!! So there you have it. The FFVII remake will be completely amazing, so instead of sitting here and reading the fanfic, go out and buy this game today!!!
^^^END OF COMMERCIAL^^^
Serge and Lynx are playing Go Fish. Akari and Ryu appear.
Lynx: Go fish.
Serge: *picks up a card* Mwuahahaha!!! I have beaten you yet again!!! *puts down his deck*
Lynx: Aw, man.
Serge: I may not talk a lot, but I can beat everyone at Go Fish!!
Akari: Um... Hello?
Serge: *sees Akari and Ryu* Eeek!! Okay, listen. You did not just hear me talk.
Ryu: Yes we did.
Serge: ... ... ... ... ...
Akari: Whatever. Anyways, you two are gonna play the infamous OLD GRAMPA GAME SHOW game!!
Ryu: Serge, you'll have to talk for this.
Serge: ... ... ... ... ...
Ryu: If you don't talk, Akari's gonna make a voodoo doll out of you.
Serge: ... ... ... ... ...
Akari: *holds up a needle and some fabric* I'll set it on fire, too. Then you'll be CURSED!!! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Serge: *sigh* Okay, I'll talk.
Akari: *smiles-Anime* I can make boys do anything for me.
Serge: Yeah, by threatening them.
Akari: *death-glares Serge* Anyways, the game show will be Jeopardy.
Ryu: That hasn't been done in a while. I thought you'd choose Wheel of Fortune.
Akari: WoF is too weird and serious.
Ryu: ...Yeah.
Akari: Anyways, we need a few more people.
Akari zaps in Glenn and Karsh.
Glenn: Where are we?
Karsh: In hell. HAHAHAHA!!!
Akari: ...No. You're on the Whose Line? set. And you're gonna play a game.
Glenn: Oh, @#$%.
Akari: Lynx will be the host and you, Karsh, and Serge are the players in Jeopardy. Begin!!
Everyone gets to their places.
(Picture everyone speaking like an old guy.)
Lynx: Hello shunny, I'm Alex Trebek. I think. I forgot over them years. Our catergories are: FATE, Forein Languages, Blue Hair, Frozen Things Besides Fire, People Who Don't Wear Clothes, and Nicknames. We'll begin with Serge.
Serge: Oh goody, I always start! Foreign Languages for $100.
Lynx: Which clown from CC speaks French?
Serge: *buzzes* Oh, I know I know I know!!!
Lynx: What's the answer, shunny?
Serge: Um... I forgot. Give me a year.
Karsh: *buzzes* It's Kid!!
Lynx: No, that would be Australian.
Karsh: I think I'm right. I traveled around the world back in 1000. Come on, it's been only 20 years! I can't forget.
Lynx: No. You're wrong.
Glenn: *buzzes* It's Harlequin!!
Lynx: Yes! Of course, the alternate answer was Pierre.
Glenn: YAY!!! I got an answer right!!!
Lynx: Chose a catergory, loser.
Glenn: Respect your elders!
Lynx: I'm your age.
Glenn: Well, I'm older by 2 hours. Ha.
Lynx: Chose a catergory!
Glenn: People Who Don't Wear Clothes for $500.
Lynx: The guy with Wakka's accent who enjoys to ride boats.
Serge: *buzzes* Oh, I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW!!!!!
Lynx: Yes?
Serge: ...I forgot.
Lynx: Shunny, you better stop that.
Karsh: *buzzes* Korcha.
Lynx: Correct. Now we need a tie-breaker between Karsh and Glenn since Serge can't remember a thing.
Serge: *drooling* Ehh...
Karsh: I pick Blue Hair for $1000.
Lynx: We're not giving away that much money! You know this show is cheap!
Karsh: Okay, I pick Blue Hair for $100.
Lynx: The idiot who's asleep right now.
Glenn: *buzzes* Karsh!!
Lynx: No, he's not asleep.
Karsh: *snores*
Lynx: ...Never mind. You win, Glenn!!!
Glenn: Yay!! I'm gonna buy me a night with Akari!!
Lynx: You only have $200. Akari sells for $500 a night. I know from experience, back in 1000...
Glenn: Oh, shiznits.
Akari: That's enough!! I do NOT sell for $500!!! I sell for $1000 and up.
Ryu: Oh, geez... *smacks his own forehead* Look, we have to go.
Akari and Ryu dissapear in a violet swirl.
Glenn: ...Dammit, I really did want to buy her for a night.
The next scene shows Kid sitting in her house, reading a magazine. Akari and Ryu appear.
Akari: Hi, Kid. I didn't know you had a house.
Kid: Well, don't I have to live somewhere?
Akari: You're gonna play the SONG TO AN AUDIENCE MEMBER game now, kay?
Kid: No. I gotta read my magazine.
Akari: *reading title of magazine* Seventeen???
Ryu: Aren't you 16?
Kid: Um, yeah, I guess.
Akari: Great. Now throw that out and let's play the frikkin' game.
Akari zaps herself, Kid, and Ryu to the Whose Line? set.
Ryu: We need an audience member.
Kid runs into the audience and pulls someone out. She comes back down.
Akari: ...Mojo. What a surprise.
Mojo: Hiya.
Akari: What is your hobby?
Mojo: Hmm... Dancing. Oh, and I love setting things on fire.
Akari: Okay Kid, sing the 'dancing and setting things on fire' song to Mojo. We're getting help from Julia Heartilly and Selphie Tillmitt.
Selphie and Julia stick their tongues out at the camera.
Akari: Oookay. Begin!
Julia and Selphie start playing the CC opening theme (?). Kid starts singing.
Kid:
Mojo, you love to dance
You move your body and hips
It catches you in a trance
You don't care that you're made of sticks.
You love the way fire glows
You use it on the merge
The last thing that you set on fire
Happens to be Serge!!!
Mojo: ...Ehh...
Kid: What? You didn't like it? I don't know, I personally loved the last two lines.
Mojo: I really have to go now. *mysteriously dissapears in smoke*
Kid: *sigh* What an arse.
Akari: Yeah. Kay, bye.
Akari and Ryu dissapear.
Kid: *sigh* I'm all alone...
Serge appears in a bath towel.
Serge: Where am I? Oh, hello, Kid.
Kid: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Akari and Ryu, meanwhile, appear in a boat. (?) Korcha is steering.
Korcha: Hey, you have to pay for the ride!!
Akari: Where are we going?
Korcha: *shrugs*
Akari: *sigh* Fine.
Akari motions a gesture to Ryu. Ryu nods and pulls out a bag of Gil with a cheesy $ sign on the side. He hands it to Korcha.
Korcha: Are you... Burglars?
Akari: *smacks her own forehead* I told you we should have gotten another bag, Ryu.
Korcha: You are, aren't you?! ...Get outta my boat!!!
Akari: No. I'm staying.
Korcha: !!!
Korcha is about to push Akari and Ryu out of the boat. Instead, Akari twists his hand and pushes him out.
Akari: *grabs the ores* Hee hee!!! I stole a boat!!!
Ryu: Um... This is illegal.
Akari: ~Tifa Lockhart~ is never illegal!!!
Korcha: *wet* Did you say ~Tifa Lockhart~?
Akari: Um... No...
Korcha: I'm your biggest fan!
Akari: Oh. In that case...
Korcha: Can I play a cheesy game?
Akari: Sure.
Akari zaps herself, Korcha, and Ryu to the Whose Line? set. Then she zaps in Riddel, Nikki, and Una in.
Ryu: We're gonna play the UNLIKELY SUPERHEROES game!!
Akari: Yay, my favorite game!! ^.^
Nikki: Um, do we have a say in this?
Akari: No, I control your lives.
Nikki: Alrighty.
Akari: We need suggestions for what superhero Korcha will be.
Random audience members: Explosive Man! Captain Streaker! Doctor Lingerie Collector!
Akari: Captain Streaker it is.
Korcha: Yay!
Ryu: And what is Captain Streaker's problem?
Random audience members: Parents are coming over to see what he does for a living! Can't take off clothes cause they're superglued on! Is getting too old for streaking!
Ryu: The second one seems...decent.
Akari: Okay Korcha, as Riddel comes onstage, you'll give her a name and she'll give Nikki a name and so on. Begin!
Korcha walks onstage.
Korcha: *touching body* My, it's so hot in here... I better take my clothes off.
Korcha tries to pull his pants off, but can't.
Korcha: Oh no! Someone seems to have put superglue in my clothes and now I can't streak!
Riddel comes onstage.
Riddel: Did someone say 'streak'?
Korcha: Why, it's Doctor Lingerie Collector!
Akari: *sigh* Korcha...
Riddel: I don't mind, Akari.
Riddel takes out a bra.
Akari: !!!
Riddel: I don't know how this will help you, but isn't it wonderful? Such soft cotton and lace... Here, feel it!
Korcha: *shudders*
Nikki comes onstage.
Riddel: Lookie, Deadly Armpit Man is here!
Nikki: Hey, wanna smell? *lifts arm*
Riddel: Ehh... *faints*
Nikki: Uh-oh...
Nikki picks up Riddel's bra and waves it on her face. Riddel wakes up.
Korcha: *smacks own forehead* I need help...
Una comes onstage.
Nikki: Flamethrower Woman!
Una: *takes out a flamethrower* MWUAHAHAHA!!!! Burn in hell!! All of you!!! *blows flamethrower around*
Korcha: Do any of you know how to remove superglue from clothes?...
Una: I know! SET IT ON FIRE!!!!!!
Una sets Korcha on fire with her flamethrower.
Korcha: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Riddel: I'll put out the fire with the air from my bra!!
Riddel waves her bra at Korcha. The fire dies down.
Nikki: That didn't help. *lifts arm* This will!
Korcha: *breathes in* Ehh... *faints*
Riddel: Oh no! *waves bra over Korcha*
Korcha: *awakens* This is hopeless.
Riddel: Not quite! Here, try wearing this.
Riddel throws her bra and a pair of underwear to Korcha. He puts them on.
Riddel: Half the people in the Strip Club are half-blind old guys. Trust me, I've been there. They won't really notice that all you're taking off is something you have over your clothes.
Korcha: Gee, thanks, Doctor Lingerie Collector!
Akari: Okay, great job!
Riddel: Give me back my bra, Korcha.
Korcha: No! I like wearing it!
Riddel: That's my REAL bra. Came from under my shirt.
Korcha: Even better.
Riddel: AAAAAAAAARGH!!! *takles Korcha*
Akari: Ehh...
Akari and Ryu dissapear. They appear in Kid's house again. This time, Kid is being chased around the room by Serge (for no particular reason) while Leena looks on angrily.
Akari: Hiiiiii!
Serge: *stops chasing Kid* Hi.
Akari: Wanna play a game?
Kid: We all did.
Akari: Well, too bad. We're playing SCENES FROM A HAT!!!
Ryu: The audience has been threatened to write down some movie styles earlier and you three will act out a scene using the styles when Akari calls them out.
Akari: Yeah. The scene is: Serge is a rotten two-timer and has agreed to marry both Kid and Leena. But they don't know that. He goes out to buy a suit for the weddings, but sees Leena and Kid at the mall--shopping together as friends--and they confront him.
Serge: Yay!! I get two women! This never happened in the game!
Akari: ...Yeah. You were such a loser in the game, you couldn't even get Pierre to come on to you. Okay, start in normal style!
Serge walks onstage.
Serge: Hmm, maybe I'll buy this one...
Serge looks around.
Serge: Oh no, it's Kid and Leena! I gotta hide!
Serge runs to hide behind a dumpster. Kid and Leena walk onstage.
Kid: Leena, you're my best friend!!
Leena: And you're mine!
Kid: Hey, what's that blue thing behind the dumpster?
Akari: FF: THE SPIRITS WITHIN!!!
Kid: It just may be... The eigth spirit!
Leena: You're right, my chest plate is reacting!
Kid: The eigth spirit must be a dumpster...
Kid and Leena walk behind the dumpster and find Serge.
Akari: SAILOR MOON STYLE!!!
Kid: Oh no!! It's Saphire!!
Leena: We must transform and stop him!
A bright light surrounds Kid and Leena. They turn naked, then appear in cheesy Sailor Moon outfits.
Kid: *holds up a pretty stick* In the name of the moon, I shall punish you!!
Akari: LUNAR 2 STYLE!!!
Leena: That's not Saphire! It's Serge!
Kid: Wanna bathe naked in a hot tub with me?
Serge: Hmm... Let's ask my pink stuffed cat.
A flying cat appears.
Akari: ...?
Leena: Hey, you can't bathe naked with her! I'll dance for you!
Kid: Her cheep dyed green hair can't stand up to my NATURAL blue hair! And look at that slutty clothes! At least my bra isn't showing!
Akari: This is getting soooo weird. *zaps the cat away* MYSTERY STYLE!!!
Kid: Serge, what were you doing behind this dumpster?
Serge: Hmm... I do not know.
Leena: There's a tuxedo in your hands. You must be shopping for our wedding.
Kid: ...He's marrying you? No, he's marrying me!!
Akari: *sigh* MATRIX STYLE!!!
Audience: *cheers* YAY!!!!!
Serge: I have a confession to make. I was cheating on both of you.
Kid: It's not your fault, Serge. It's HER'S!!!
Kid and Leena start to fight. Suddenly, Kid jumps into the air. She spings 360 ° and kicks Leena in the face.
Akari: And finally, SOUTH PARK STYLE!!!
Serge: Aw, man.
Akari: Come on!!
Serge: OH MY GOD, YOU KILLED KENNY!!!!! ...I mean, Leena.
Kid: Who the @#$% cares? I'm gonna kill you next!
Serge: No! I'm gonna stop you with my fart power!!!
Kid: DEAR @#$%, NO!!!
Akari: Stop!!! We have to end the game right now.
Ryu: Yeah, nice knowing you.
Akari and Ryu dissapear.
Serge: ...What about Leena?
Akari and Ryu appear at the Whose Line? set, where everyone who played their games are gathered.
Akari: We've come to the end of the episode and this TV show! That's right, it was cancelled due to the backstage nudity problem we've been having with the FF characters. Kidding. Actually, I've gone through all my favorite games, the ones I know of. So thanks very much to the ones who read this fanfic and even more to those who reviewed!
Ryu: For our final game, we'll have Harlequin and Serge read the credits as if they're about to get married. Any other characters may come in. *winks to Kid* Start off!
Harle and Serge walk onto the stage.
Harle: *slowly walking down the imaginary isle and whispering to Serge* Psst... Serge, did you invite zat nice little girlfriend of yourz?
Serge: Which one? *giggles*
Harle: Leena, ze one with ze weird doggy.
Serge: I ordered Pierre to take care of the wedding list. So he probably invited Leena.
Harle: Knowing Pierre, he alzo invited Una, Riddel, Korcha... All ze women.
Serge: Hey! Una isn't a woman!
Harle: ...?
Serge: Nevermind.
Harle: I wonder if he got Nikki to come.
Serge: Nikki would scare the crowd with his outfit and make-up.
Harle: Lynx would scare zem all with zat head.
Serge: I find that head attractive.
Harle: ...??? Well, I think zat Glenn eez hot.
Serge: Hey, I'm not saying that to make you jealous!
Harle: Well, we gotta name all ze people who stared in zees fic. I'm thinking of creative wayz.
Serge and Harle reach the Priest. Who happens to be Nikki.
Harle: Aaaah! Nikki, you're still wearing your make-up!
Nikki: It brings out my eyes. *winks at the camera in a very weird way* Anyway, we're gathered here today... Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Akari,stopmakingthoseviolentmotions blah blah blah blah blah... Anyone opposing this wedding, say so now or forever hold your peace.
Kid runs into the 'Chappel'.
Kid: AAAAARGH!!! I WILL KILL YOU, HARLE!!!!!
Kid takes out her dagger.
Harle: Aaaaah! Quick Serge, ve must get married now!!
Harle kisses Serge. Kid screams and tries to stab Harle with her dagger.
Akari: Nice job for the final game!!!
Ryu: Um, Kid... Stop trying to kill Harle...
Kid: No!!! I gotta kill her!!!
Kid continues to trying to stab Harle, who is screaming bloody murder. Serge watches this with pride.
Akari: Ahem... *covers up the camera with her hand* Join me for my next fic, guest starring someone very special!! And guess what, we're getting rid of Ryu in it!!
Ryu: Aw, man.
~*~*~
Thank you all very much for reading and to certain people for reviewing!! Please watch for my next fic (yet another cheesy humor crossover) which will be titled "Valentine's Day Chaos!" It will be a sequel to "Chrismas Chaos!" but of course with Valentine's Day. Many common pairings included-- with a twist on the use of alcohol. ^_^ It will also be co-hosted by one of my favorite authors, the talented Pyra The Dragon Goddess!!! *cheering in background* And we'll overthrow Ryu!!! *even louder cheering in background*
And to Universe Master Zee: I know you requested 'Spring Break Chaos!' as the sequel to 'Christmas Chaos!', but I had Valentine's Day planned for a while. I'm very sorry, and I hope this doesn't make you mad or anything.