"Buffy!"
"Angel."
"Oh god. You're real. You're really here and alive. I missed you so much." Angel pulled the blonde slayer into his arms tight enough to hinder her breathing.
"Yeah, I'm here. I missed you too." Her voice sounded less than enthusiastic.
Angel heard the tone of her voice and noted the despair and pain in her eyes. Keeping her hand in his, unwilling to loose physical contact with her, he guided her over to a bench. "Sit down." He waited a moment, just soaking in her presence. "What's wrong Buffy?"
"Nothing. I'm fine now Angel.'
Instantly he knew she was lying. "Don't! Please, don't lie to me. Tell me what's wrong. I can see it in your eyes. Willow, well, she said you were in hell, but you don't smell of sulfur. Please Buffy, tell me."
"I, I was in hell. Willow rescued me."
"Buffy, I know you weren't in hell. Where were you?"
"How?'
"Because your soul is too beautiful. You've done such good. You've earned your place in heaven." He paused for a moment, trying to hide his anger at Willow for attempting such a dangerous spell, but also rejoicing that Buffy was here in his arms again. "Please."
His presence and soft caress were too much. Buffy could no longer hold back the tears and depression. "God, Angel. I can't do it. I had to lie to them. I was at peace. Everything was wonderful. I was safe and loved. Then it was ripped away from me. This, this is hell Angel. To top it all off, everyone is expecting me to be grateful and happy. They all want this perfect, happy slayer back. But she didn't even exist before I died. Now I'm back and they want me to slay, take care of Dawn, and go back to school. Then they tell me that I'm completely broke. We don't have enough money to pay bills. I tried to get a job, but." Her sobs were uncontrolled now as she buried her face into his chest. "Giles is trying his best, but I can't do it. They don't understand. The only one I have is Spike." Buffy told Angel about Spike's compassion and their long talks.
Angel sat quietly, listening attentively as Buffy revealed secrets and poured her heart out. He tried to calm his anger at her so-called friends. How could they demand so much from her? They really had made her life hell. He frowned and cringed at the knowledge that her only support was coming from his wayward childe, Spike. Ironic didn't begin to describe it. He pulled her closer and gently stroked her hair. She began to relax under his soothing ministrations. "Shush, it will be alright."
Abruptly she pulled from his arms. She stalked away and began pacing as she yelled. "No Angel, it isn't! Nothing is ever going to be alright! I've been sentence to hell on earth literally until some demon finally gets the upper hand and puts me out of my misery." She paused and remained still, staring out into the dark sky. "Before, I had my friends, my mom for support, I thought I knew what happiness was. Now I know better." She rubbed her hands along her arms trying to provide some comfort and warmth.
Angel looked horrified. Her words had flown straight to his soul and instantly he knew that if she returned to Sunnydale like this, it would only be a matter of time until they buried her again. He couldn't do that, he wouldn't do that. He had given up Buffy so many times, always thinking that he was leaving her for something better. Now, he wondered. In a flash, his mind was made up. He would not loose her again. "Buffy, I'm going to take care of everything. I promise you. Okay?"
His words tore her heart. "Don't Angel. Please, don't make promises you can't keep."
Hearing her pain and doubt, he pulled her into his arms. He felt her resist for a moment before finding comfort and solace in his embrace. Gently he tilted her face up to his. "Listen to me. I'm going to take care of you, of everything. Come back to L.A. with me." He waited anxiously for her reaction.
"What?!"
"You heard me Buffy. When you died, it almost destroyed me. I can only guess how horrible it was to be torn from heaven and brought back, but honestly, I'm so grateful. I'm not going to miss this chance. I want to be with you in any way I can. If that means just as friends, that's fine. If it's only helping out with money and Dawn, that's okay too. If it's something more, if there can be an "us" again, I would love it. It's all up to you. Just do me a favor and come back to L.A. with me. Take a few days from your friends and the hellmouth to rest and decide what you want."
Buffy stood amazed. She couldn't believe it as Angel stood before her and asked her to consider moving to L.A. "What about Dawn and slaying? I really can't stay. I want to, but."
Angel pressed a finger over her lips, gently quieting her protests. "Don't worry. I don't want you to worry anymore. I'll call Sunnydale. Giles and the gang have been looking after Dawn all this time. A few more days won't hurt. As for the hellmouth, I'll get Spike to help Giles patrol. Please, say you'll stay with me for a few days to recuperate if nothing else."
"Yes."
Angel opened the door to the Hyperion Hotel and allowed Buffy to enter. He moved to follow, but she blocked his entrance as she stopped dead in her tracks. Angel watched in horror as he noticed the scene that caught Buffy's attention. If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he would have never believed it. The people he called friends stood before him, mocking and belittling his relationship with Buffy. As the shock wore off, he filled with rage. How could they mock his love for Buffy? It was the only pure thing in his existence and yet Cordelia and Wesley stood there turning it into a cheap B-rated soap opera.
The front door to the hotel slammed with such force that rattled the room and gained the attention of the so-called actors from their scene. However, Buffy remained completely still, horrified and shocked at the display that just occurred. Her mind tried to tell her body to move or her mouth to speak, but she remained still. Angel, filled with rage and feelings of betrayal, noticed Buffy's expression and realized it must have mimicked his own only moments ago.
Ignoring the others in the room, Angel tried to grab Buffy's attention and lead her from the lobby to the safety of his room where she would be free from the obscene ridicule. "Come on. My rooms are on the second floor."
"Oh god. Angel, Buffy." Cordelia finally spoke after Angel broke the long silence. She was mortified that Angel had walked in on their conversation. She never intended Angel to hear it. She had only meant to explain to Gunn and Fred about the forbidden romance between their boss and the slayer. Looking at the other faces around her, she realized they were struggling to find the words to explain and apologize. "Angel, I'm."
Angel's fury grew as Cordy tried to explain. It took all his will power to control the demon at that moment. Silently he tried to focus his attentions to his mate. Buffy was the most important thing right now. "Why don't you head on up? It's up the stairs to the left, room 213. I'll be right up. I'm just going to call Giles and let him know where you are, okay?" He kissed her cheek and after receiving a short nod in response, released her from his grip. He waited patiently as she disappeared up the stairs and around the corner before turning to his so called friends.
The anger seethed through his pores. The demon rebelled against such treatment of its mate. Angel watched as both Wesley and Cordelia began to speak. "Shut up!" His voice was loud and forceful. Only the knowledge that Buffy could still be within hearing distance prompted him to regain some semblance of control.
"Angel, we're very sorry."
"Save it Wes. Buffy will be staying here for a few days. We are not to be disturbed unless there is something urgent. Is that understood?"
Gunn sat quietly, unsure of what to say. He had never heard Angel use that tone of voice before. He spoke with authority, commanding complete control and respect. Power seemed to radiate from him in droves. Catching a quick glimpse at the others in the room, he guessed Angel was having the same effect on everyone.
Cordelia finally recovered from the shock. She hadn't heard Angel speak so harshly to them since the incident with Darla. As she regained her sense, she quickly objected to the slayer's presence. "Angel, don't you think that it's a bad, very bad idea for you and Buffy to be staying."
Angel didn't give her the opportunity to finish her inquiry. "Shut up Cordelia. Buffy is staying for at least a few days, possibly longer. This is not a discussion. You have no say. In case you have forgotten, this is still my home. You will be kind to her or not say anything at all. Is that understood?"
Wesley and Cordelia stared at each other, silently wondering whether Angelus had already returned. Wesley, believing himself to be the voice of reason tried to defuse the explosive situation, but before he could say a word, Angel turned on his heel and disappeared into the hotel. The members of AI were left standing and pondering over what just occurred.
Angel hung up the phone on Giles and again tried to suppress his anger. Giles received his news in a similar manner to his own group. However, Angel emphasized that the decision was final and Giles appeared to concede at the end of their conversation agreeing to call on Spike to patrol. With the particulars taken care of, Angel turned his attention back to more important matters, Buffy.
Walking into his bedroom, he was momentarily disturbed when his eyes didn't immediately find her. However, the anxiety faded as he spotted her foot on the chair. He walked around to stand in front of the large, black leather chair. It was his favorite and he spent many hours there reading, drawing, or thinking. Although everyone else refered to it as brooding. He looked down at his beloved, his soulmate. She was curled up in a fetal position on the chair, her eyes focusing somewhere in the distance. More than anything, the look in her eyes scared Angel the most. The normally viberant, green eyes filled with life and love were now filled with excrutiating pain. It broke his heart to see her in such a state and vowed to do anything to get "his" Buffy back.
"Hey, I was thinking that we could both use some sleep. You can have the bed." Seeing her make no attempt to move, he gently picked her up and placed her on the bed. He retrieved a shirt from his dresser and began carefully removing her shoes. Next, he stripped off her pants and finally her top, replacing it with his shirt. "Lay down. We'll talk in the morning. I promise everything will be alright." He tucked her in under the covers and gently kissed her cheek.
"Angel, please don't leave me."
The cry was desperate. "Hush, I'm not going to leave. Not anymore. You're stuck with me now." He gently rose from the bed and moved toward the door.
"No, Angel. Stay, please."
The desperation in her voice called out to him. He realized she needed him to stay with her, not only for the night, but for good. Willingly he complied with her request, crawling into the bed beside her. With his arms securely holding her, he listened to her heartbeat and the sounds of her breathe as she finally fell asleep. Content to know that his beloved was alive and in his arms, he drifted into his own slumber, his mind still contemplating ways to help his love and give her back the life and feelings of safety and happiness that she deserved.
For the first time since she returned, Buffy woke rested from an uninterrupted night of sleep. Usually nightmare or dreams kept her from sleeping more than an hour or two at most. As she slowly woke, the strong arms wrapped tightly around her explained why last night had been different. She was with Angel. She was safe.
"Good morning beloved."
"Good morning. What time is it?"
"It's almost noon. I guess a good afternoon is more appropriate." He tried unsuccessfully to pull a smile from her mouth. "Did you sleep well?"
She snuggled against his chest, catching the faint aroma of soap. "Mmm, wonderfully. No dreams."
He looked at her curiously. "What dreams? Tell me about them."
"I have dreams of when I was in heaven, ever since Willow brought me back. Sometimes I have nightmares about the things that happened before I died. Either way, I usually don't sleep for more than an hour or two at night. I can't believe I slept so long."
"You needed it. What do you say to some breakfast?"
"Will the others be downstairs?" After hearing everything from some strange girl calling her name funny to Cordy and Wes' performance, Buffy was not in the mood listen to their ridicule and lectures.
"Buffy, about last night, I'm so sorry you had to see that. They had no right, but don't worry. They might be here, but they won't bother us. Besides, we have a lot to talk about and you're going to need your strength. What do you say to some eggs, toast and juice?" Angel tried to entice her into eating. While helping her change the night before, he noticed how much weight she had lost since the last time he had seen her. It was one of many things he planned on changing.
"Throw in some coffee and you have a deal."
"Come on."
Her heart sored as she saw the love radiating from his eyes. "Angel, thank you for everything. I know I wasn't very nice to you the last few times."
Angel placed a finger over her lips. "Tbere is nothing to thank me for. You have done the same for me before. Besides, now that you're alive and here, I have everything I could ask for. Just let me be here for you."
In the kitchen, Angel busied himself around the kitchen making a huge plate of eggs for Buffy. A pile of toast and bowl of fruit had alredy been placed on the table. Once satisfied that she had everything she needed, including coffee and juice, Angel proceded to warm up a mug of blood for himself. After sitting in silence for a few moments, just watching her eat, he started to speak, anxious to solve her problems.
"Buffy, I did some thinking last night and figured a few things out. I'm going to call Giles again and ask him to send me all the bills for the house and such. I'll take care of everything so you don't have to worry about it. If and when you decide to take classes again, the money will be there. That goes for Dawn too. I don't want you to spend another moment thinking about it."
Buffy paused from eating her eggs. "Angel, I can't let you do that. This isn't you problem. I'm grateful that you're here for me. But that's too much."
"You can and you will. Buffy, Angelus had more money than I could ever need. If it can help you and Dawn, then it will finally go to a good use." Reaching out, he squeezed her hand with his. This was the least he could do and he wasn't about to argue with her over it. Seeing her nod slightly in agreement, Angel smiled compassionately. "Good. Now finish your breakfast. I also realized last night that you have no clothes or anything here. So, after you're finished. I want you to go pick up whatever you'll need." He released her hand for a moment before returning to it and slipping a credit card in her hand.
The next few days passed by quickly and quietly. The AI gang kept their distance from Buffy and Angel, allowing them plenty of time to catch up on each other's lives. Angel spoke of his run ins with Darla and his epiphany. He was mildly shocked when Buffy showed no trace of anger after learning how he tried to lose his soul. He revealed his thoughts and feelings on everything since that time. He hadn't been so open to anyone, espcially the LA crew. Yet, with Buffy, Angel didn't feel he was being judged. Instead, he knew that she could simpathize and understand many of the things he went though. Buffy talked to Angel about Riley's leaving, her mother's death, Spike's confession of his love, and her time in heaven. She cried when she spoke about the days after Willow brought her back. Throughout the days, they comforted each other and finally moved passed the anger and hurt of the past. Their love grew stronger and helped each heal with every embrace, look, and chaste kiss.
Buffy sat out on the balcony of Angel's room. The sun was setting over the city. The last few days had been healing and necessary. Since her stay with Angel, she managed to sleep through most of the night. There were still some nightmares and dreams, but Angel was always there is chase them away. She had managed to eat three wonderfully prepared meals everyday. She never knew Angel was such an excellent cook. Over all, she felt a small bit of peace and love fill her again. It was something that she had been missing since her return. She knew she couldn't continue to hide in Angel's room forever though. She was still the slayer and a sister. Besides, she didn't think Angel's assosicates would tolerate her presence much longer.
"Buffy?"
"Out here Angel."
Angel walked out as the last rays of the sun disappeared below the horizon. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. "Are you alright? You look like their thinking about something too hard."
She sighed. "I'm just realizing that we can't keep this up. As happy as I am like this, I have to go back to the hell that is my life. Besides, Cordelia is starting to walk around with a stake all the time and Wesley never stops staring at me. Its unnerving."
"Actually, I have a better idea. You've been pretty happy here right?" He waited for a small acknowledgement before continueing. "Buffy, I, I want you to move in with me. Before you say anything hear me out. You could move into the hotel with me. I can fix up a few rooms for you so you can have your own space. UCLA is only a few minutes away. You could sign up for classes. When you feel up to it, there are plenty of vampires and demons in this city to keep up both busy for the next century. You could still keep the house in Sunnydale. Spike can handle most of the patrolling with Giles and Xander. Willow becoming pretty powerful. She can hold her own too. If there is anything major, we're only a hour away. You could always go back if there is an apocolipse."
Buffy stared at him, wide-eyed and surprise. "You've thought this all through. What about Dawn? She's the only family I have left. I can't just abandon her now that I'm back."
"I know and I'm not asking you too. I was thinking that maybe Dawn would want to move here with you. There is plenty of room. She could go to Hemery and maybe you'll both be able to see your father more. If she doesn't want to, the house in Sunnydale will be there. She could stay there with Willow and Tara. Maybe take turns visiting on week-ends." Angel was almost desperate to convince her to stay, but there were a few more things she needed to hear before she made her decision.
"Angel, even if that's what I want. We both know it wouldn't work. How long could we really leave together under the same roof without loosing control. You were right when you left. I realized that."
"Buffy, I have been thinking about this constantly. But, before you make up your mind, there is something you need to know. I'm not even going to pretend to know what you want from me. But the curse is no longer an issue. We wouldn't have to worry about that."
She stood baffled. "I've been here all this time and you're just telling me this. Why?" She wasn't angry, just confused.
Angel was surprised how calm Buffy remained. "God Buffy, I wanted nothing more than to tell you the second I saw you. That first night here, I would have loved to have just made love to you all night and helped you forget everything. But, I thought it would only complicate matter for you." He released her from his arms and turned to face the darkening sky. "There is something else you need to know. Remember that Thanksgiving when you came here to yell at me. We fought and agreed to forget. Well, you were here for more than ten minutes."
"I remember."
"No, you don't, that's the problem."
Buffy smiled softly and figured it was time to put Angel out of his misery. "Yes Angel, I do. I remember it all. The kitchen table, ice cream, chocolate and peanut butter. I remember everything including why you gave back your humanity. I understand."
"How, when did you remember?"
She thought for a moment. "I wish I could say that I never forgot like a promised, but I think I did. When I returned to Sunnydale, I started having dreams about that day. I had them almost every night. I didn't know it was real until I died. Then I knew, I wasn't just a dream." She paused trying to read the expressions as they displayed on his face. "I wasn't really mad, just sad. That was probably the happiest I had been since you left at graduation and it was gone."
"I am so sorry. God, I did it because I couldn't protect you that way. The oracles told me you would die. So much for that, you still died because I wasn't there."
"Hey." Buffy grabbed Angel's hand. "No guilt. You were only trying to protect me like always. It seemed like the best choice at the time. As for being there when I died," she paused and took a deep breath. "You didn't know. Besides, you had to rescue Cordy and Fred. I made a choice. I chose to jump off that tower. Even if you were there, I would have made the same choice."
"I love you, you know that right?" Angel flashed her a smile. Each day his love for her grew more. "So, any chance of you moving in with me?"
"Yes, if Dawn doesn't object, I'd like that." Buffy was thrilled at the notion of spending each day with Angel. Finally there was some peace in the hell that had been her life since her return.
"Angel."
"Oh god. You're real. You're really here and alive. I missed you so much." Angel pulled the blonde slayer into his arms tight enough to hinder her breathing.
"Yeah, I'm here. I missed you too." Her voice sounded less than enthusiastic.
Angel heard the tone of her voice and noted the despair and pain in her eyes. Keeping her hand in his, unwilling to loose physical contact with her, he guided her over to a bench. "Sit down." He waited a moment, just soaking in her presence. "What's wrong Buffy?"
"Nothing. I'm fine now Angel.'
Instantly he knew she was lying. "Don't! Please, don't lie to me. Tell me what's wrong. I can see it in your eyes. Willow, well, she said you were in hell, but you don't smell of sulfur. Please Buffy, tell me."
"I, I was in hell. Willow rescued me."
"Buffy, I know you weren't in hell. Where were you?"
"How?'
"Because your soul is too beautiful. You've done such good. You've earned your place in heaven." He paused for a moment, trying to hide his anger at Willow for attempting such a dangerous spell, but also rejoicing that Buffy was here in his arms again. "Please."
His presence and soft caress were too much. Buffy could no longer hold back the tears and depression. "God, Angel. I can't do it. I had to lie to them. I was at peace. Everything was wonderful. I was safe and loved. Then it was ripped away from me. This, this is hell Angel. To top it all off, everyone is expecting me to be grateful and happy. They all want this perfect, happy slayer back. But she didn't even exist before I died. Now I'm back and they want me to slay, take care of Dawn, and go back to school. Then they tell me that I'm completely broke. We don't have enough money to pay bills. I tried to get a job, but." Her sobs were uncontrolled now as she buried her face into his chest. "Giles is trying his best, but I can't do it. They don't understand. The only one I have is Spike." Buffy told Angel about Spike's compassion and their long talks.
Angel sat quietly, listening attentively as Buffy revealed secrets and poured her heart out. He tried to calm his anger at her so-called friends. How could they demand so much from her? They really had made her life hell. He frowned and cringed at the knowledge that her only support was coming from his wayward childe, Spike. Ironic didn't begin to describe it. He pulled her closer and gently stroked her hair. She began to relax under his soothing ministrations. "Shush, it will be alright."
Abruptly she pulled from his arms. She stalked away and began pacing as she yelled. "No Angel, it isn't! Nothing is ever going to be alright! I've been sentence to hell on earth literally until some demon finally gets the upper hand and puts me out of my misery." She paused and remained still, staring out into the dark sky. "Before, I had my friends, my mom for support, I thought I knew what happiness was. Now I know better." She rubbed her hands along her arms trying to provide some comfort and warmth.
Angel looked horrified. Her words had flown straight to his soul and instantly he knew that if she returned to Sunnydale like this, it would only be a matter of time until they buried her again. He couldn't do that, he wouldn't do that. He had given up Buffy so many times, always thinking that he was leaving her for something better. Now, he wondered. In a flash, his mind was made up. He would not loose her again. "Buffy, I'm going to take care of everything. I promise you. Okay?"
His words tore her heart. "Don't Angel. Please, don't make promises you can't keep."
Hearing her pain and doubt, he pulled her into his arms. He felt her resist for a moment before finding comfort and solace in his embrace. Gently he tilted her face up to his. "Listen to me. I'm going to take care of you, of everything. Come back to L.A. with me." He waited anxiously for her reaction.
"What?!"
"You heard me Buffy. When you died, it almost destroyed me. I can only guess how horrible it was to be torn from heaven and brought back, but honestly, I'm so grateful. I'm not going to miss this chance. I want to be with you in any way I can. If that means just as friends, that's fine. If it's only helping out with money and Dawn, that's okay too. If it's something more, if there can be an "us" again, I would love it. It's all up to you. Just do me a favor and come back to L.A. with me. Take a few days from your friends and the hellmouth to rest and decide what you want."
Buffy stood amazed. She couldn't believe it as Angel stood before her and asked her to consider moving to L.A. "What about Dawn and slaying? I really can't stay. I want to, but."
Angel pressed a finger over her lips, gently quieting her protests. "Don't worry. I don't want you to worry anymore. I'll call Sunnydale. Giles and the gang have been looking after Dawn all this time. A few more days won't hurt. As for the hellmouth, I'll get Spike to help Giles patrol. Please, say you'll stay with me for a few days to recuperate if nothing else."
"Yes."
Angel opened the door to the Hyperion Hotel and allowed Buffy to enter. He moved to follow, but she blocked his entrance as she stopped dead in her tracks. Angel watched in horror as he noticed the scene that caught Buffy's attention. If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he would have never believed it. The people he called friends stood before him, mocking and belittling his relationship with Buffy. As the shock wore off, he filled with rage. How could they mock his love for Buffy? It was the only pure thing in his existence and yet Cordelia and Wesley stood there turning it into a cheap B-rated soap opera.
The front door to the hotel slammed with such force that rattled the room and gained the attention of the so-called actors from their scene. However, Buffy remained completely still, horrified and shocked at the display that just occurred. Her mind tried to tell her body to move or her mouth to speak, but she remained still. Angel, filled with rage and feelings of betrayal, noticed Buffy's expression and realized it must have mimicked his own only moments ago.
Ignoring the others in the room, Angel tried to grab Buffy's attention and lead her from the lobby to the safety of his room where she would be free from the obscene ridicule. "Come on. My rooms are on the second floor."
"Oh god. Angel, Buffy." Cordelia finally spoke after Angel broke the long silence. She was mortified that Angel had walked in on their conversation. She never intended Angel to hear it. She had only meant to explain to Gunn and Fred about the forbidden romance between their boss and the slayer. Looking at the other faces around her, she realized they were struggling to find the words to explain and apologize. "Angel, I'm."
Angel's fury grew as Cordy tried to explain. It took all his will power to control the demon at that moment. Silently he tried to focus his attentions to his mate. Buffy was the most important thing right now. "Why don't you head on up? It's up the stairs to the left, room 213. I'll be right up. I'm just going to call Giles and let him know where you are, okay?" He kissed her cheek and after receiving a short nod in response, released her from his grip. He waited patiently as she disappeared up the stairs and around the corner before turning to his so called friends.
The anger seethed through his pores. The demon rebelled against such treatment of its mate. Angel watched as both Wesley and Cordelia began to speak. "Shut up!" His voice was loud and forceful. Only the knowledge that Buffy could still be within hearing distance prompted him to regain some semblance of control.
"Angel, we're very sorry."
"Save it Wes. Buffy will be staying here for a few days. We are not to be disturbed unless there is something urgent. Is that understood?"
Gunn sat quietly, unsure of what to say. He had never heard Angel use that tone of voice before. He spoke with authority, commanding complete control and respect. Power seemed to radiate from him in droves. Catching a quick glimpse at the others in the room, he guessed Angel was having the same effect on everyone.
Cordelia finally recovered from the shock. She hadn't heard Angel speak so harshly to them since the incident with Darla. As she regained her sense, she quickly objected to the slayer's presence. "Angel, don't you think that it's a bad, very bad idea for you and Buffy to be staying."
Angel didn't give her the opportunity to finish her inquiry. "Shut up Cordelia. Buffy is staying for at least a few days, possibly longer. This is not a discussion. You have no say. In case you have forgotten, this is still my home. You will be kind to her or not say anything at all. Is that understood?"
Wesley and Cordelia stared at each other, silently wondering whether Angelus had already returned. Wesley, believing himself to be the voice of reason tried to defuse the explosive situation, but before he could say a word, Angel turned on his heel and disappeared into the hotel. The members of AI were left standing and pondering over what just occurred.
Angel hung up the phone on Giles and again tried to suppress his anger. Giles received his news in a similar manner to his own group. However, Angel emphasized that the decision was final and Giles appeared to concede at the end of their conversation agreeing to call on Spike to patrol. With the particulars taken care of, Angel turned his attention back to more important matters, Buffy.
Walking into his bedroom, he was momentarily disturbed when his eyes didn't immediately find her. However, the anxiety faded as he spotted her foot on the chair. He walked around to stand in front of the large, black leather chair. It was his favorite and he spent many hours there reading, drawing, or thinking. Although everyone else refered to it as brooding. He looked down at his beloved, his soulmate. She was curled up in a fetal position on the chair, her eyes focusing somewhere in the distance. More than anything, the look in her eyes scared Angel the most. The normally viberant, green eyes filled with life and love were now filled with excrutiating pain. It broke his heart to see her in such a state and vowed to do anything to get "his" Buffy back.
"Hey, I was thinking that we could both use some sleep. You can have the bed." Seeing her make no attempt to move, he gently picked her up and placed her on the bed. He retrieved a shirt from his dresser and began carefully removing her shoes. Next, he stripped off her pants and finally her top, replacing it with his shirt. "Lay down. We'll talk in the morning. I promise everything will be alright." He tucked her in under the covers and gently kissed her cheek.
"Angel, please don't leave me."
The cry was desperate. "Hush, I'm not going to leave. Not anymore. You're stuck with me now." He gently rose from the bed and moved toward the door.
"No, Angel. Stay, please."
The desperation in her voice called out to him. He realized she needed him to stay with her, not only for the night, but for good. Willingly he complied with her request, crawling into the bed beside her. With his arms securely holding her, he listened to her heartbeat and the sounds of her breathe as she finally fell asleep. Content to know that his beloved was alive and in his arms, he drifted into his own slumber, his mind still contemplating ways to help his love and give her back the life and feelings of safety and happiness that she deserved.
For the first time since she returned, Buffy woke rested from an uninterrupted night of sleep. Usually nightmare or dreams kept her from sleeping more than an hour or two at most. As she slowly woke, the strong arms wrapped tightly around her explained why last night had been different. She was with Angel. She was safe.
"Good morning beloved."
"Good morning. What time is it?"
"It's almost noon. I guess a good afternoon is more appropriate." He tried unsuccessfully to pull a smile from her mouth. "Did you sleep well?"
She snuggled against his chest, catching the faint aroma of soap. "Mmm, wonderfully. No dreams."
He looked at her curiously. "What dreams? Tell me about them."
"I have dreams of when I was in heaven, ever since Willow brought me back. Sometimes I have nightmares about the things that happened before I died. Either way, I usually don't sleep for more than an hour or two at night. I can't believe I slept so long."
"You needed it. What do you say to some breakfast?"
"Will the others be downstairs?" After hearing everything from some strange girl calling her name funny to Cordy and Wes' performance, Buffy was not in the mood listen to their ridicule and lectures.
"Buffy, about last night, I'm so sorry you had to see that. They had no right, but don't worry. They might be here, but they won't bother us. Besides, we have a lot to talk about and you're going to need your strength. What do you say to some eggs, toast and juice?" Angel tried to entice her into eating. While helping her change the night before, he noticed how much weight she had lost since the last time he had seen her. It was one of many things he planned on changing.
"Throw in some coffee and you have a deal."
"Come on."
Her heart sored as she saw the love radiating from his eyes. "Angel, thank you for everything. I know I wasn't very nice to you the last few times."
Angel placed a finger over her lips. "Tbere is nothing to thank me for. You have done the same for me before. Besides, now that you're alive and here, I have everything I could ask for. Just let me be here for you."
In the kitchen, Angel busied himself around the kitchen making a huge plate of eggs for Buffy. A pile of toast and bowl of fruit had alredy been placed on the table. Once satisfied that she had everything she needed, including coffee and juice, Angel proceded to warm up a mug of blood for himself. After sitting in silence for a few moments, just watching her eat, he started to speak, anxious to solve her problems.
"Buffy, I did some thinking last night and figured a few things out. I'm going to call Giles again and ask him to send me all the bills for the house and such. I'll take care of everything so you don't have to worry about it. If and when you decide to take classes again, the money will be there. That goes for Dawn too. I don't want you to spend another moment thinking about it."
Buffy paused from eating her eggs. "Angel, I can't let you do that. This isn't you problem. I'm grateful that you're here for me. But that's too much."
"You can and you will. Buffy, Angelus had more money than I could ever need. If it can help you and Dawn, then it will finally go to a good use." Reaching out, he squeezed her hand with his. This was the least he could do and he wasn't about to argue with her over it. Seeing her nod slightly in agreement, Angel smiled compassionately. "Good. Now finish your breakfast. I also realized last night that you have no clothes or anything here. So, after you're finished. I want you to go pick up whatever you'll need." He released her hand for a moment before returning to it and slipping a credit card in her hand.
The next few days passed by quickly and quietly. The AI gang kept their distance from Buffy and Angel, allowing them plenty of time to catch up on each other's lives. Angel spoke of his run ins with Darla and his epiphany. He was mildly shocked when Buffy showed no trace of anger after learning how he tried to lose his soul. He revealed his thoughts and feelings on everything since that time. He hadn't been so open to anyone, espcially the LA crew. Yet, with Buffy, Angel didn't feel he was being judged. Instead, he knew that she could simpathize and understand many of the things he went though. Buffy talked to Angel about Riley's leaving, her mother's death, Spike's confession of his love, and her time in heaven. She cried when she spoke about the days after Willow brought her back. Throughout the days, they comforted each other and finally moved passed the anger and hurt of the past. Their love grew stronger and helped each heal with every embrace, look, and chaste kiss.
Buffy sat out on the balcony of Angel's room. The sun was setting over the city. The last few days had been healing and necessary. Since her stay with Angel, she managed to sleep through most of the night. There were still some nightmares and dreams, but Angel was always there is chase them away. She had managed to eat three wonderfully prepared meals everyday. She never knew Angel was such an excellent cook. Over all, she felt a small bit of peace and love fill her again. It was something that she had been missing since her return. She knew she couldn't continue to hide in Angel's room forever though. She was still the slayer and a sister. Besides, she didn't think Angel's assosicates would tolerate her presence much longer.
"Buffy?"
"Out here Angel."
Angel walked out as the last rays of the sun disappeared below the horizon. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. "Are you alright? You look like their thinking about something too hard."
She sighed. "I'm just realizing that we can't keep this up. As happy as I am like this, I have to go back to the hell that is my life. Besides, Cordelia is starting to walk around with a stake all the time and Wesley never stops staring at me. Its unnerving."
"Actually, I have a better idea. You've been pretty happy here right?" He waited for a small acknowledgement before continueing. "Buffy, I, I want you to move in with me. Before you say anything hear me out. You could move into the hotel with me. I can fix up a few rooms for you so you can have your own space. UCLA is only a few minutes away. You could sign up for classes. When you feel up to it, there are plenty of vampires and demons in this city to keep up both busy for the next century. You could still keep the house in Sunnydale. Spike can handle most of the patrolling with Giles and Xander. Willow becoming pretty powerful. She can hold her own too. If there is anything major, we're only a hour away. You could always go back if there is an apocolipse."
Buffy stared at him, wide-eyed and surprise. "You've thought this all through. What about Dawn? She's the only family I have left. I can't just abandon her now that I'm back."
"I know and I'm not asking you too. I was thinking that maybe Dawn would want to move here with you. There is plenty of room. She could go to Hemery and maybe you'll both be able to see your father more. If she doesn't want to, the house in Sunnydale will be there. She could stay there with Willow and Tara. Maybe take turns visiting on week-ends." Angel was almost desperate to convince her to stay, but there were a few more things she needed to hear before she made her decision.
"Angel, even if that's what I want. We both know it wouldn't work. How long could we really leave together under the same roof without loosing control. You were right when you left. I realized that."
"Buffy, I have been thinking about this constantly. But, before you make up your mind, there is something you need to know. I'm not even going to pretend to know what you want from me. But the curse is no longer an issue. We wouldn't have to worry about that."
She stood baffled. "I've been here all this time and you're just telling me this. Why?" She wasn't angry, just confused.
Angel was surprised how calm Buffy remained. "God Buffy, I wanted nothing more than to tell you the second I saw you. That first night here, I would have loved to have just made love to you all night and helped you forget everything. But, I thought it would only complicate matter for you." He released her from his arms and turned to face the darkening sky. "There is something else you need to know. Remember that Thanksgiving when you came here to yell at me. We fought and agreed to forget. Well, you were here for more than ten minutes."
"I remember."
"No, you don't, that's the problem."
Buffy smiled softly and figured it was time to put Angel out of his misery. "Yes Angel, I do. I remember it all. The kitchen table, ice cream, chocolate and peanut butter. I remember everything including why you gave back your humanity. I understand."
"How, when did you remember?"
She thought for a moment. "I wish I could say that I never forgot like a promised, but I think I did. When I returned to Sunnydale, I started having dreams about that day. I had them almost every night. I didn't know it was real until I died. Then I knew, I wasn't just a dream." She paused trying to read the expressions as they displayed on his face. "I wasn't really mad, just sad. That was probably the happiest I had been since you left at graduation and it was gone."
"I am so sorry. God, I did it because I couldn't protect you that way. The oracles told me you would die. So much for that, you still died because I wasn't there."
"Hey." Buffy grabbed Angel's hand. "No guilt. You were only trying to protect me like always. It seemed like the best choice at the time. As for being there when I died," she paused and took a deep breath. "You didn't know. Besides, you had to rescue Cordy and Fred. I made a choice. I chose to jump off that tower. Even if you were there, I would have made the same choice."
"I love you, you know that right?" Angel flashed her a smile. Each day his love for her grew more. "So, any chance of you moving in with me?"
"Yes, if Dawn doesn't object, I'd like that." Buffy was thrilled at the notion of spending each day with Angel. Finally there was some peace in the hell that had been her life since her return.